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 Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 11:05 pm
(crappy start here)
I'm really terrible at explaining things, so either bear with me or just move along.
I was debating about posting this, as I have never told anyone before, but I really wonder if anyone else feels this, or if I'm just being stupid.
I have a tenancy, well more of a habit, (it took me a while to notice, but i suspect I've been doing it for a while) that when I see a trait in someone else, I become very envious for it, and often time's it's not even a desirable trait. Usually I sort of take it on for a while until I find another. I usually get them from something I read or watched. (which might explain why I made such a good L in cosplay). Sometimes I think doing this turns me into such a jerk. I mean I've found myself saying some really cold things that was unlike me. Once I stayed up half the night feeling paranoid, and I had almost convinced myself I was hallucinating.
If by chance you have ever seen I'm a Cyborg But That's OK, it might make a bit more sense when you compare this to Ii sun and his "stealing".
Usually I tell people that I am my own person, I'm unique and proud of it, but sometimes it makes me wonder who I am, if I'm just some stupid wannabe. Which is why I never feel like telling anyone in person.
Sometimes, I can make myself drop it but, It's very frustrating to feel like you need a personality other than your own.
I guess was really a me venting. (pathetically).
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 5:21 pm
Hieis kikya (crappy start here) I'm really terrible at explaining things, so either bear with me or just move along. I was debating about posting this, as I have never told anyone before, but I really wonder if anyone else feels this, or if I'm just being stupid. I have a tenancy, well more of a habit, (it took me a while to notice, but i suspect I've been doing it for a while) that when I see a trait in someone else, I become very envious for it, and often time's it's not even a desirable trait. Usually I sort of take it on for a while until I find another. I usually get them from something I read or watched. (which might explain why I made such a good L in cosplay). Sometimes I think doing this turns me into such a jerk. I mean I've found myself saying some really cold things that was unlike me. Once I stayed up half the night feeling paranoid, and I had almost convinced myself I was hallucinating. If by chance you have ever seen I'm a Cyborg But That's OK, it might make a bit more sense when you compare this to Ii sun and his "stealing". Usually I tell people that I am my own person, I'm unique and proud of it, but sometimes it makes me wonder who I am, if I'm just some stupid wannabe. Which is why I never feel like telling anyone in person. Sometimes, I can make myself drop it but, It's very frustrating to feel like you need a personality other than your own. I guess was really a me venting. (pathetically). Hello there! I hope my answer makes you feel better... But from what I have been told, when we are a specific ages, (I think it was from 13-usually 20s but sometimes 30s or even 40s) we are trying to "find ourselves" or find out more about ourselves. We want to know who we are, and as we try to figure it out we will adopt different traits and drop some too. It's perfectly normal, I do believe almost everyone does it at some point in their lives. So you're not just "some stupid wannabe". You're trying out different things to see how they fit into your personality.
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