|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 6:41 pm
NOTE! This is right after Dumbledore talks to Harry in Order of the Phoenix.
As he looked at the bright, full moon, Harry sighed. It was a wonder how the moon could still shine so brightly, even though so much had transpired over the past day. His remaining kin was gone, Sirius, was gone. And Dumbledore had just told him the true reason why Voldemort had gone after his parents. His parents had died for him, because he was a half-blood; they were gone and it was his fault. It was just too much for a fifteen year old to process in such a short time.
That moment, pale hand lay on Harry's shoulder and he almost jumped.
"Harry, are you alright?" Luna asked, her blonde hair shimmering in the moonlight.
"Y-yeah, I'll be alright. I just need to think about something," he replied.
"The moon is bright tonight. Maybe we'll be able to see some Knaidys."
"What?"
"They're nymphs which only come out when there is bright moonlight, which seems to be rare nowadays."
Harry threw back his head and laughed. For a while this served to distract him from the day's events, to let him be carefree, just this once. But it didn't last. He soon stopped, and a tear trickled down his cheek.
"I miss my mother too." Luna turned to face Harry, her bright blue eyes locked on his green ones. "But I know that she will always be with me, in here," Luna placed a hand on her chest. "Sirius may be gone physically, Harry, but he has never left. He will always be in your heart, like my mother is in mine." Leaning over, Luna placed a feathery kiss on his cheek, and stood, saying, "I hope you'll feel better Harry." With a slightly crooked smile, she turned and walked off.
Harry looked up once again. The moon was bright. He never knew how bright her eyes shone, just like the moon. Luna, the Roman goddess of the moon. He liked that.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 5:12 pm
That was very sweet. The sudden happiness where Harry threw back his head and laughed kinda messed with the vibe of the story a little bit though. Maybe it would be a smoother transition if he gave a short bitter laugh or maybe a small smile. I think if it were a bit longer it could be even better. You could really set up the scene (describing the scenery, location, and apperance of the characters for example) and try to make the scene flow better. Luna's character kinda threw me off too. Like how she went from her usual self to what would seem to be a line from any other character. Good luck and keep writing!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
