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The Education of Kathleen



A Short Story by: Matthew S. Van Hove





Kathleen Degas was your typical, normal, everyday wife. At least that is the image she portrayed outwardly to everyone who saw her. The people that were lucky enough to know Kathleen by her nickname “Kitty” saw her as a fun loving free spirit. Her small stature and even smaller frame gave her an appearance that was meant to be underestimated. It was a mistake quite a few men made and each one had been surprised by this tiny dynamo.

She married young, and by the luck of the draw, it just happened to be to her best friend that she had been friends with since she was a child. The story was one that you had always read about in books or saw in movies. They were friends first and lovers second. They were always with someone else while the other was alone and vice versa. After a pretty bad break up that Kitty had, she confided in Mitch (her soon to be husband) and the two finally saw the attraction they had to each other. The two were married after a year long courtship and took pride in the fact that everyone saw how happy they were. A year after their nuptials the two welcomed a baby girl into the world making their family complete. They named her Riley and seemed on the outside to be a sturdy loving and happy couple.

A fairy tale comes true.

But this is just the beginning of our story isn’t it? I can’t very well tell you the end of a story first before going through everything else now can I?

Kathleen had been happy with her family. She was happy with her faithful husband, happy with her innocent daughter, happy with her productive working life, and just plain happy with her existence in general. The funny thing about the human condition and an even more interesting about the human being itself is; that something as simple as a chance encounter can throw a monkey wrench into the works of a perfect life. Her working life was about to become the loose cog in her clockwork world. The monkey wrench that was going to teach her a lesson she wouldn’t soon forget.

This is also where I come in. Not so much as to say that I have a personal involvement in this situation, but more of the catalyst to the events that were about to transpire.

My name is Mathias Graymore, and for as long as I can remember I have been able to read people with an uncanny accuracy. Believe it or not, it is only by mere chance that I came across Kitty in her work life.

Kathleen Degas was in no way a frumpy housewife. More to the contrary, Kitty, was the kind of beautiful that made men stare. She could turn heads and stop traffic; her looks would be described as the beauty that could send ships to war just to defend her honor. Epic poems would have been written about her if she had been alive during the renaissance. Kathleen sat at 5’4” at her tallest, with her toned body she couldn’t weigh more than 125 pounds soaking wet. Her long black hair hung down somewhere around the middle of her back and was well taken care of. Her slim figure seemed to be accentuated by the clothes she always wore. It was as if she took every chance she could to draw attention to what she considered was her best feature. Most men would agree. The tight jeans and even tighter slacks that Kitty liked to wear caused most eyes to be drawn immediately to her butt.

Not to be out done, her lips always seemed to look kissable and her small amount of cleavage was usually on display. Her dark brown eyes always seemed to be hiding behind a small but stylish pair of glasses and the smile that was usually stretched over her “oh so kissable” lips made the total package complete. Her complete ensemble was made to cause doubt. The glasses gave her an innocent quality as well as her small size, and they did their jobs well as no one could ever expect that this tiny woman was able to think the things she did.

With Mitch unable to work because of a disease that doctors around their area had been unable to diagnose or get under control; Kitty took on the occupation of “Working Mother” and began to work at a fast food establishment. The small burger joint was seated on the corner of a dead intersection. Although it was your typical burger palace, there was a down home feel to it. The business only held a total of seven employees; three cooks, three cashiers, and one supervisor. The cooks and cashiers worked enough to be able to get to know their customers pretty well, and the regulars they did have always seemed to tip a little more than was necessary to help the tight knit group along. The main income for the burger joint was from the surrounding businesses.

The section of road that the food establishment sat on was surrounded by auto body shops, warehouses, furniture supply stores, and other distribution warehouses. There was no structural flow to the businesses either, it seemed that they had just been scattered around for best property usage, almost as if they had been dropped by a littering businessman who thought they would be more lucrative with a chaotic design.

On the upside, there was a particular auto body shop that sat directly across from the burger joint and housed more than twenty mechanics. Each and every day those mechanics would come in and order lunch, especially if Kitty happened to be working the register.

They were relentless, each and every one of the mechanics, when they saw that Kathleen was working. They would flirt and tease, finding any excuse to get Kitty to bend over far enough to expose her cleavage or pick something up to get a good long look at her toned and pert backside. As soon as they saw that she not only played along, but seemed to thrive off the attention, they upped the ante. Their comments becoming more and more crass and vulgar to the point of openly offering sexual favors for bigger tips, to her credit though, Kitty remained faithful and just let the remarks roll off her demure shoulders.

I would sit and watch these actions day in and day out. The young miss would soak in all the attention, all the comments, and all the offers and just continue to smile. It was soon after I witnessed this that Kitty began to openly flirt back. She would try and induce more comments, pushing the conversation to lewd and dangerous limits. It didn’t stop with the mechanics that came in either, the three male cooks that worked with her seemed to give her the same attention and with each new day they would grow bolder. Calling her into the back to start a tickle war, or some prank that would allow them to put their hands on some part of her body.

As strange as it was, I watched as Kathleen grew more and more open to this attention and knew exactly how to act to get it. I saw where this was leading, and with a few well placed suggestions, a person’s true nature would begin to shine through.

Everyday like clockwork Mitch, Kitty’s husband, would come in with their daughter. They would visit for about fifteen minutes on her break and then Mitch would leave. On these little trips Mitch would usually leave with money he had been given, but on the rare occasion the couple would argue and Mitch would leave less than pleased with his wife. They always tried to be discreet, but in a small place like the burger joint she worked it was almost impossible.

The kicker to this whole thing was; Kitty had started to believe that the disease that Mitch had was nothing more than laziness and his unwillingness to do anything but stay at home and watch television. It was a burden on Kathleen for the fact that she was the only one working and the meager wages she was pulling in was hardly enough to keep them stable.

After a particularly harsh bickering session Mitch left in a huge huff and Kathleen fumed for a good hour afterward. Even going so far as to curse the man long after he had left. It was in the middle of this less than silent rant that to door to the establishment swung open.

This drew her attention because she knew that she had to put on a smile and act as the happy cashier even though she was fuming inside. The happy employee drew the most business and the best tips. As she looked up her smile became genuine. It was a face she hadn’t seen before which was a rarity in the place that she worked, every customer was a regular from around the area. The breath of fresh air that was carried with the newcomer was an immediate mood booster.

It was a young man around his early twenties if not late teens. His hair was a light brown and cut close to his head almost compared to a crew-cut. His eyes were bright and seemed to have a maturity that belayed his youthful appearance. His body was framed in corded muscles that were toned to fit his stature like a glove. He wasn’t overly muscle bound but the obvious bulges in all the right places gave him a physically appealing appearance. Even with his form hidden underneath a pair of dark navy blue coveralls he was still an impressive physical specimen. The small patch that blazed over his chest announced that he worked at “Benny’s Auto” in brilliant white, red, and yellow.

The two locked eyes mere seconds after they had taken a good long look at one another. It was Kitty that was first to act, her lips creased upward and she showed most of her teeth as she placed her best flirtatious smile on with her cheeks turning a soft red. Seeing this gave the newcomer a sense of confidence and nearly strutted up to the counter like a pimp in an old 70’s black-exploitation.

Now before we go any further I feel it is necessary to explain myself and how I have come to have this information. I am not a pervert of a stalker; to put it mildly I am a watcher. The being you call God I call father. Mathias is just one of many names I have gone by since the beginning of my existence. I probably know more about you than your own mother does, and the things I know about you would make her blush. If and when I come to your story, feel free to correct me at any time. I watch the human race and that is how I am able to understand you so much better than most of you would care to admit. I am not your conscience and nor would I ever want to be. I do, however, know that this story is far from over. So I will continue.

“You’re a new face.” Kitty said in an awed voice.

“Just started at Benny’s Yesterday.” the deep tone of his voice sent a shiver up Kathleen’s spine.

“My name is Kathleen, but everyone around here just calls me Kitty.” she beamed.

“James.” the newest mechanic said leaning forward on the counter a little bit.

Kitty leaned forward as well, only her action pushed the top of her buttoned blue and white uniform downward. It exposed more than a little bit of cleavage and it seemed that she didn’t mind in the least. The movement wasn’t lost on the young mechanic as his eyes looked down the very exposed blouse. His eyes drank in every inch of curvaceous flesh and let his gaze stay there for a long time.

This is the moment that Kathleen’s education began. Harmless flirting and nothing more. Kitty told James all about her husband and daughter in the many visits the mechanic made. Very rarely did he have time to eat along with their conversations, but the young man knew Kitty was a kept woman. That fact seemed to be lost on him though as he seemed to push the line further with each visit. It started slow, like all great seductions do, with comments on her appearance. Or Kitty touching James’ arm softly or making a smart remark about his butt as the mechanic left the establishment. Giggling and chiding all around to the point that it was taking up more of her time than it should have. Someone that was less than observant would probably call the two “good friends” and leave it at that.

Flirting turned to touching; a soft touch on the hand or a more drastic hug that lasted a little too long. It progressed slowly and the pace seemed to be set by Kitty herself. It took a different turn as soon as James offered to give Kathleen a backrub after a particularly long lunch rush. The sounds that came from the young married woman were not the ones that someone would make during a backrub, but sounded more like they were reserved for the bedroom.

The rest of the burger joint could see what was going on as plain as day but did nothing to assuage the two from continuing their flirtatious friendship. Whispered rumors spread quickly between the five other employees and even the supervisor wasn’t left out of the backroom talk. The gossip was juicy and the newest thing to talk about while they passed the boring hours between customers. They talked actively behind her back and at the same time added to the rumors with their own insights and conclusions. Not a single soul thought to intervene to save this young naive woman’s marriage. Yet why should they? Kitty shot down every suggestion that something was going on between to two and would still deny it anyway. In this aspect it was better to play the part of sightless observer than an over zealous friend.

All of the employees had become friends in the small confined area of the fast food joint. Not in the sense that they all hung out after work but more along the lines of that they did care for one another. The concern and kindness was always there and there was always an ear willing to listen to the days problems. Knowing all that; how was it that they allowed something like this to happen?

The simplest answer is usually the correct answer.

They didn’t care.

The gossip and juicy tales were more than enough to fill their minds with a need for more. It has always baffled me as to how the human race could show an immeasurable amount of love and kindness to a fellow human being but turn a blind eye to that same person’s actions as soon as they become something that they don’t agree with. There is no sense of equality among humans; a sense of moral justice or even moral righteousness. Humans welcome the damaged and sickly to infect their worlds with ignorance and deceit. I believe the saying is: “Ignorance is bliss.”

Kathleen was, more or less, ignorant of her actions when it concerned James. Her justification was simple and completely off base as I have stated before. She didn’t see anything wrong with her affections towards the young mechanic because they were purely platonic. It was perfectly normal for her to care about her new friend in the way she did, talk to him for hours late at night while Mitch slept, even going to the movies with him, or having long drawn out conversations in the mechanic’s truck. To Kathleen these were all normal, but everyone around her could see otherwise. The crew knew she fancied James, even James knew that Kitty had more than friendly feelings toward him. Yet he was more than willing to let her set the pace of their budding relationship.

“So?” James smirked after a rambunctious round of flirting.

“So.” Kathleen answered trying to edge James to continue on further.

“What are you doing later tonight?”

There it was, as plain as the nose on her face. James had just formally asked her out on a date. Her cheeks turned a bright crimson as she smiled at him. In her mind the thoughts of what she was really supposed to do that night raced over and over. She was supposed to spend some time with Mitch and Riley and watch a movie or do something else family oriented. But the weight behind the proposition she had just received made her think twice and think fast. It was something she just couldn’t pass up.

“Nothing I can’t get out of.” her eyes brightened. “Why?” she asked with all the hope in the world behind her smile.

Subconsciously her thumb began to slowly trace over her wedding band and a small sliver of regret shot through her mind. The fact that she was actively trying to think of what she would tell Mitch to get out of going home made her realize exactly what she was embarking on. Kitty wasn’t so sure as to how she should feel at this point. Her excitement towards going out with James on a real date was something she had been secretly craving since the two had met. Then there was Mitch and her feelings toward him and all they had been through. On the one hand she had her daughter and her husband who she loved very much, but on the other hand she had this young and exciting mechanic that made her feel more alive in the last few weeks than her husband had since they had gotten married. The young mechanic wanted her and she had to admit that she wanted him just as much.

“Well, I was hoping we could catch a movie or go out to dinner or something.” James smirked.

A second twinge of regret shot through Kitty. She wanted to jump up and shout “Yes!” over and over but couldn’t. Something was stopping her.

“Can…” she paused and bit her bottom lip. “Can I give you an answer after work?”

James smiled and nodded then turned to go back to work.

A Devil’s Advocate is what Kathleen needed at this very moment. Someone to show her both sides of the coin and expose her inner thoughts. To let her get everything out. This is exactly what I planned on giving her. I had witnessed the whole exchange and every one previous that I won’t bore you with. Kitty wanted someone to push her in either direction since she couldn’t quite make up her mind. After I had set my food in the trash I decided that there was no time like the present to give the young woman the advice she thought she needed. I couldn’t stop the inevitable, but the funny thing about fate is that you may be destined to do something or act a certain way, but you still have a choice that you can make to change the outcome.

“You seem troubled.” I said with a smile as I approached the counter.

I must have startled her out of some pretty deep and lurid thoughts, because when she looked up at me her face resembled that of a beet.

“Oh! Mr. Graymore. I didn’t see you there, I’m sorry is there anything else I can get you?” she smiled, it wasn’t flirtatious or even polite, it just seemed to be a smile.

“I’m fine thank you, I was just curious as to what a lovely young woman such as yourself has to be worried about.”

Kathleen looked at me as if I had just walked over her grave. “I think I was just asked out on a date.” her voice carried a trace of forced amazement but an equal amount of pride with it.

“But aren’t you married?”

I could see the color drain from her soft features as her thoughts seemed to have mirrored my own question.

“Well yeah, but it is still nice to be asked, I mean it is always nice to know that I am still attractive.” she gave a quick nod and then busied herself with the menial task of restocking the cups.

If she thought she was fooling anyone by her response she was sadly mistaken. I happened to glance at the cook on duty and saw him roll his eyes which confirmed my assumption. A response like that was normally reserved for married women in their forties that have had three children, not twenty-two year old girls in the prime of their lives.

“All I know is that I wish a woman would look at me the same way you look at that young mechanic.”

“Come on now Mr. Graymore! You know you look good to me.” Kitty said with an honest smile.

“Well I do what I can, I guess. If that was me, I wouldn’t stop until I at least got to speak to you privately. I mean the way you two carry on makes people wonder you know.”

As I walked away I was more than certain that Kitty would be going out with James tonight even if it was only to talk. Whether it was the tone of her voice or the fact that while we had our little talk Kathleen couldn’t stop blushing. The primitive brain is one of the easiest parts to read on a human and her primitive brain was working in overdrive. Instincts to find the most potent and virile male to provide had added to her lust for James and if they were going to talk it would more than likely be after a long make out session.

Now I would love to tell you exactly what happened that night, but seeing that I wasn’t there I’ll just leave it up to your own imagination. What I can tell you is that Kathleen was all smiles the next day. She had a glow about her that all women get when they are either pregnant or sexually satisfied, so I’ll let you draw your own conclusions as to what happened after she got off her shift the day before

It wasn’t long before James made his presence known. The door swung open and the young man walked in with his usual swagger only this time there was an air of confidence surrounding him. The two looked at each other and the girlish giggle that came from Kathleen’s lips made it quite obvious that she didn’t get home until late last night.

“Hey trouble!” Kitty said as soon as James had fully entered the dining area.

James didn’t say anything as he walked up to the counter, in fact he didn’t say anything until he was close enough to whisper into Kitty’s ear. He leaned forward and she instantly began to giggle like a school girl hearing a dirty word for the first time. His confidence wasn’t unwarranted; he had gotten something that no one else had even gotten close to getting. James had Kitty’s undivided attention.

“Yeah I agree. Last night was really fun.” she cheerily said loud enough to be heard by everyone else in the restaurant.

James stepped back and nodded. He didn’t have to say anything; he already knew that he would get her to go out with him again any time he wanted regardless of her husband or family. He had her right where he wanted her. The young mechanic was quite good at his seduction. His silence made Kathleen admit everything or initiate the next move with giving nothing in return. In essence he was making her responsible for anything and everything they had done or were going to do.

“It was the most fun I have had in a long time. I’d like to do it again some time.”

James gave a silent nod again and added a wink for effect. It was subtle but I saw it.

This type of exchange went on for over a week before Kathleen and James went out again. The rumors were no longer rumors and the fact that her coworkers seemed to know what was going on only made Kitty more comfortable with acting affectionately towards James. She let the subtlety drop from her words and her actions and let all pretenses that this was a friendship vanish along with her modesty.

The only time that the friendship was upheld was when Mitch came around. Kathleen would avidly confess that her and James’ friendship was just that and there was only a platonic kinship between the two of them. No one that worked there knew whether they should tell Mitch or keep their mouths shut. They didn’t know if it was their place to say or if they should try and talk Kathleen into telling Mitch.

Whilst her husband was away, the flirtation got hotter than just simple comments and hugs. James’ hands would find themselves in all sorts of places on Kitty’s body that they should definitely not be. The verbal teasing got worse as well. It moved from tame; “Doesn’t his arms look so good in that shirt.” to the more graphic; “You should see what he has under those cover-alls. Makes me melt just thinking about it.” Everyone knew by the second time they had officially gone out that Kathleen was having a full blow affair.

I won’t bore you with the details of the progressing courtship, but I can tell you that things moved extremely fast. Kitty would kiss her husband softly and quickly after they had lunch together, but when James came in after Mitch had left she greeted him with what one could describe as a soul kiss. It was deep, passionate, and heated.

About a month after they had started their torrid affair, things took a drastic turn. James had come in on his lunch like he had been doing for the last couple of weeks. Kitty immediately went on her break as well. It wasn’t too strange for her to do this, but they disappeared this time and it couldn’t have happened at a worse time. The two had been gone for quite some time when a rush hit. This was very rare for the fact that a tour bus had broken down just a block away. The passengers all swarmed the burger place like a pack of starved wolves and the remaining cashier was swamped. The cook that was there handled it with skill and the cashier took everything with a smile.

Even though she handled the rush with finesse, she was justifiably upset that Kathleen had vanished. After everything had settled down and all the garbage and food had been taken care of, the cook and second cashier realized that Kitty still hadn’t returned. A loud crash from somewhere in the back caused the cook to look around the walk-in refrigerators area. Hearing muffled sounds coming from within the cook found where Kitty and James had vanished to.

The two co-workers crept up to the walk-in and looked at each other before the cook grabbed the handle. They were pretty sure of what they would find but weren’t sure if they really wanted to see it or not. As the cook stepped forward to open the door a loud groan echoed and something else crashed to the floor within the refrigerator.

Laughing nervously he gripped the handle firmly and gave a hard tug. The latch popped free and bathed the walk-in with florescent light clearly exposing the two lovers intertwined. The two co-workers drank in the sight in front of them as if they were a starving dog. The groans only got louder as soon as the door was ajar. With the act of the two vice riddled sinners exposed Kathleen’s eyes widened in a mixture of fear and excitement. Her small frame was being pressed continually against the back wall of the refrigeration unit, her bare legs wrapped tightly around James’ waist.

Even though she had been caught the young woman had no intention of stopping, her hands gripped harshly at the mechanic’s broad shoulders as he pushed against her again pulling yet another lewd moan. James continued to speed toward his goal, not caring that someone had opened the walk-in. His bare cheeks could be seen peeking out from under his shirt as his pants piled up around his feet. One of his hands was gripping Kathleen’s bare waist as the other was obstructed from view by his body, but the angle suggested that he had cupped her breast and was manipulating it enough to cause another groan to come from Kitty’s mouth.

Kathleen’s body was all but hidden from her coworkers but her panties hung loosely around one of her ankles with the rest of her clothes cast about within the small space. The only thing that seemed to be protecting her bare skin from the chill of the cold steel was a small sports bra that had been pushed up over her bosom to rest just under her neck. The expression of pained ecstasy on her face never left as she looked right into her friend’s eyes. When the fact registered that they had been caught her moans stopped and her face dropped into a mixture of shock, fear, and embarrassment. Her hands loosened their death grip from James’ shoulders and began to push feebly away.

The act had gone too far though, James was at his peak with his thrusting moving even harder against Kathleen’s small frame. Each slap of flesh caused her whole body to shake as her own culmination was quickly washing away and form of embarrassment she had been feeling. Her eyelids flickered as her eyes rolled back her hands quickly wrapped hard around James’ back and her nails dug hard into his clothes. Both of the lovers called out their respective climaxes and then slowly slip to a tangled mass on the walk-in floor.

Kitty, red as a tomato, quickly dismounted James and pulled her clothes to cover herself up. James mumbled something no one could quite understand and casually pulled his pants back up to his waist. He looked down at Kathleen and shrugged and then exited the refrigerator. Kathleen was left on the floor with the evidence of her illicit affair pooling beneath her and her dignity flowing out along with it. She quietly got dressed and walked slowly out of the walk-in. She didn’t say a word as she took her time card out of her purse and swiped it to leave. She looked at her friends and co-workers pleadingly and asked softly if they wouldn’t tell anyone what they saw.

With secrecy and discretion promised Kathleen went home. To their credit, the cashier and cook held their tongues for a good two hours. By the time the second cook and night cashier had arrived they let the flood gates open. An hour after that the Supervisor had found out. A day later the affair had been made public to the surrounding business and anyone else who wanted to know. The end result of the tryst in the walk-in was of course Kathleen losing her job. She was fired the next time she came in to work and after a heart wrenching breakdown in the middle of the dining area she finally went home.

James, in an act of self preservation, stopped coming into the burger joint at all and even cut all communication with Kathleen. The numerous calls, letters, and text messages were unceremoniously ignored and he got back to living his life.

The whole thing would have blown over for Kathleen if she didn’t have to explain to Mitch why she didn’t have a job anymore. She tried to lie, saying it was the fact she had been rude to customers and the like, but when pushed to try and get her job back she finally broke down and told him the real reason. Mitch was by no means okay with what had happened; in fact his heart was broken in two. He had been betrayed by the woman he had given himself fully to, he didn’t know what to think or do and for weeks he refused to talk to her.

I wish I could tell you that the young husband and wife worked things out and are even stronger in their relationship because of the incident, but that would be a bold faced lie and I make it a habit to tell the truth as much as I can. Mitch had been cuckolded by Kathleen and in the most aggressive way possible. After weeks of silence Kathleen came home from her newest job hoping to talk to Mitch and try to patch things up. It was two days before their two year anniversary and she was hoping they would be able to communicate. Once she opened the door though she realized that was an impossibility. The apartment was completely empty except for her things. They were all piled up nicely in the middle of the living room floor with a small white piece of paper on them. She ran from the doorway to their bedroom only to see all of Mitch’s clothes and personal effects gone. Her next stop was Riley’s room and everything was gone. Her husband and daughter had left while she was out. Kathleen stumbled back into the living room and picked up the small piece of paper with tears streaming down her cheeks and began to read it.

It wasn’t lengthy, the note, it was rather simple and straight forward:

“I can’t bring myself to look at you, touch you, or trust you anymore. So I won’t. I’ve taken Riley. Goodbye.

Signed, Mitch”

Her knees weakened and slipped out from under her and Kathleen went crashing to the floor. Her entire body was wracked with heavy sobs as she clutched the note as if it were her very soul. Her husband and her daughter were gone, she had lost a job that she enjoyed, and her dignity was completely gone. Her entire livelihood was gone and now she was left with nothing. James wouldn’t even acknowledge that she existed and seemed to have moved on to a new girl soon after they had been caught.

A hard lesson had been learned by Kathleen Degas. Her education had been completed and the outcome was one that I had engineered. You see, this was a story about the former Mrs. Degas and not James. I forgot to mention the words that I placed in his ear over the course of the whole situation. I told you before that I played the Devil’s Advocate and that is exactly what I had done here. I only had one small chore left after the life of this young woman had been obliterated. I approached Kathleen shortly after her meltdown and offered her a comforting shoulder to cry on and even offered a willing ear to listen. But my true motives needed to be explained and it is something I always do before I complete the chosen’s education. I exposed myself to what I am and even told her why I did it. Will I tell you? I doubt it, but once again, if I decide to tell your story you can feel free to expose me for what I am.

With the thoughts of relieving her guilt, Kathleen welcomed my final education. One final lesson that would help her be rid of all the pain she felt in her heart for her own choices. It was small and smooth. One small pill that would place her into a sleep she would never wake from. She willingly took it and eagerly swallowed. As I laid her comatose body on her empty bed I wondered just what was going on in her mind. Something of a quirk of mine I guess, but I digress. I left her there to be found a week later very dead. The police ruled it a suicide, but we know better.

I said before, even if you are fated to do something or be someone, you as a human being still have to ultimately make the choice. This story is like so many others who made the wrong choice. I am not evil by any standard, but I do consider myself the downfall of hundreds if not thousands of you humans. I am but a humble messenger and I hope to be seeing you all soon.