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 Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 4:41 pm
Log of Skull Monkey: Tam
Note: Only the keeper is allowed to post here. Unless you get their permission, this board is ONLY for their use. Thanks.
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 5:24 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 5:26 pm
heart +A Tam for a Tawn?: heart
=June 23rd:
+When Tawn's out of the room (as he often is- he's been outdoors more and more often these days- he's taken an interest in the woods at the end of the block, and he and Peabody explore for hours...), and it's just me and the pebble... it feels as if I've taken a step back in time. Just this morning, Tawn and Peabody were off gallavanting up a tree somewhere, and I was sitting in the rocker in the living room, rocking the cradle back and forth with my hand as I tilted at a different pace, Sk on my lap, sleeping but switching his tail... and it was like I'd never left the happiest day of my life, and it was just playing over and over.
It's a wonder that this pebble keeps reminding me of Tawn- they're really quite dissimilar. Of course, it probably doesn't help the de ja vu that everything the pebble is using (almost) was once Tawn's. The basinet, the cradle- the blankets and even the pebble brush with the soft bristles that won't tug on its tail. The kitchen is filled with Tawn's old bottles and the same brand of formula I used to buy... (in anticipation for the soon-to-arrive infant stage...) in fact, the only thing that's really brand-new is my high-chair. I gave my old one to Keppit.
Like I said before I got off in my tangent, though- they really are dissimilar. Tawn moved much more (although not quite as much as most pebbles do, apparently. The rest of the ones in this pebble's batch dance and bounce and are little gunpowder-filled livewires...), and his tail flipped. When you put him in water, he'd use his tail as a rudder to steer himself in circles... This pebble...well, I've caught it moving once or twice, but only to scoot sideways, out of the blanket. It doesn't seem to be like being covered up- but that could just be my imagination. I'm glad the order of the kids weren't reversed, and this pebble was my eldest- if I were a first-time Mom, and I had a pebble that was this still, I would've been a wreck. ^_~ But since I'm on the 'second time around', I'm not worried. Maddie said that each pebble has a different activity level, and I'm taking her word for it. If anyone knows pebbles, it's her.
...The more I look at the pebble (I know, I'm good at the pronoun thing too, neh? ^_^ That sets me apart from the new parents, as well...), the more sure I am that its markings are tartan. So I pulled out that babybook Tawn and I have been going through, and've been looking up Scottish names- male and female, of course. Nothing too 'heavy'... something that's an easy name for a kid to have, but still with some Scottish in it. I found a few- one of them, Tam, is a boy or a girl's name, but I really have my doubts about it. I mean, I have this sneaking fear that I'd join the ranks of those 'bad people' who name their kids embarassing things. ...Alone, Tam's fine- but then I'd have two kids- Tawn and Tam. ...I don't know. It seems to border on the 'cringe', maybe? Everyone I've asked said they don't see a problem with it, but I'd like a few more opinions before I subject a kid to that ^_^. (So if you're reading this and have an opinion, please share...)
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 5:27 pm
heart +IT'S A GIRL!! heart
=June 24th:
+ It's a girl it's a girl, it's a girl girl girl.... !!! ^_^ I have a little baby girl. I AM NO LONGER OUTNUMBERED. ....*cough* Anyway.
It's the first time I've actually SEEN one of my children's transformations- I missed all of Tawn's, some by only seconds. But Tawn and I were at the SMhq, 'mingling about'... well, he was, anyway. I was sitting on the couch w/ the basinet on my lap, my head back, staring up at the ceiling (..I haven't been getting a lot of sleep- there's a lot going on at the shop.), when the basinet in my lap began to rumble. Yes, I know, that sounds utterly bizarre- but I don't know how else to describe it. I was just sitting there, and I felt it shaking. My first reaction was to grab both sides- maybe it was an earthquake, and I didn't want it to tumble off my lap with the pebble inside.
Right away I knew it wasn't an earthquake- at least, after that split-second reaction, I did- nothing else in the room was shaking. I didn't know what was going on, but I reached in to grab the pebble- maybe something was wrong with the basinet (although god knows what would make it shake like that...), but before I did, there was a flash of light, and the basinet's weight caused it to sink in my lap.
When the light flash was over- there was a beautiful little red baby- a girl. Oh, I wanted to grab her up and hug her, and run her around, twirling her around squealing 'it's a girl!'... but my little daughter was asleep, and I didn't have the heart to wake her.
+By the time she did wake up, we were all at home, sitting in the living room, and I'd moved her from her basinet to my lap. She sat up, yawned... blinked, and looked up at me. Those big eyes, and little tartan ears.... her teensy red nose... she's so beautiful.
"Hi baby," I said, "I'm your Mom." Then I gave her a hug, and it was such a deja vu feeling, to have that baby heart beating up against my chest. I called Tawn over, and he leaned up on the arm of the chair, to see his new baby sister.
"Can we call her Tam, Mom, like you wanted? She looks like a Tam." He picked her up and sat on the floor with her on his lap.
So Tam it is. She met Sk right after that- he came into the room when she was sitting on the floor, and sniffed her over. Then he rolled his eyes and walked away...
and Tam reached out and YANKED on his tail!! Not just a little tug, either, but a yank hard enough to knock him off his feet and flat onto his face. Tawn and I both leapt forward- I think Tawn was reaching for Sk, and I dove for the baby... but before we could react, Sk'd gotten up... turned around.... and rolled over on his back.
I couldn't believe it. Sk just..rolled over, belly exposed, and began to pur. Tam scratched his belly, and then he crawled into what little baby lap she has and rubbed his head on her chin, all the while purring like a motor.
...I sense that we've got allies in the making...
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 5:28 pm
heart +First word... heart
=June 26th:
+Tam said her first word yesterday. She was in her highchair in the kitchen, and I was looking for her bottle... it wasn't in the dishwasher (though I know I hadnt put it in there... I haven't done the dishes in a day and a half... stressed ), not in the fridge, and it wasn't on any of the counters. I was walking around looking for it, talking to myself (and to Tam, as well- I've never spoken to her in 'baby talk'..)...
"Well, Tam, I don't know where it is. I'm pretty sure I put it in the kitchen after the last time you used it. Maybe Sk took it."
Then I opened a cupboard, and, from behind my head, came her little voice, clear and monotone.
"Sk."
The cupboard stayed open, and my body stayed exactly where it was. Only my head turned, to see her, paws crossed on top of each other on the highchair table, staring at me unblinkingly.
"Did you just say that?"
She blinked. "Sk." Then she looked around, as if thinking he'd have come at her call. The momentary shock wore off, and, in the back of my head, sure, I was wondering why that would be her first word... but I was just so happy. I pulled her out of her highchair, the bottle forgotten, and I bounced her up and down all over the house until she laughed and laughed (which was unusual- usually she only laughs when someone gets hurt...), and I called Tawn out of his room, and Sk out of the attic to listen. Tawn's first word was milk... and I don't know what Sk's was- he was already a talking, scowling kitten when I got him.
Tawn just thought it was cute, and tried to get her to say "Tawn". She wouldn't do it, though. He'd hold her and bounce her up and down and go "Tawwwwn...tawn....", but she'd just look at Sk and say his name, and he'd purr..... Hopefully she'll say 'Mom' after a while...
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 5:29 pm
heart +So little to do with anything, really... heart
=July 2nd:
+I just wote a long, very involved entry in Tawn's log. ...About both the kids. It seems there's going to be quite a bit of overlapping in the two. Perhaps, just to save myself the trouble, I should condense the two logs. ...I've been weighing the pros and cons of that for a while, actually. On the upside, there'd not be any overlapping, and I wouldn't have to be constantly repeating myself. (After all, Tam and Tawn's lives are hardly 100% separate... as siblings, and as my children, they're automatically... entwined. I can hardly write all about what one's spent the day doing, and how I feel about it all, and... cut out the other. ...It's not like slicing someone out of a picture.
So, more often than not, I'm repeating myself- which is the lesser of the two evils (the other choice being, of course, absentia...). The only thing that's preventing me from condensing the two is wondering whether it's fair to Tam. ...Tawn had a log of 'his own' his entire life. Doesn't Tam deserve the same? Hm. I'm likely to agree with.. well, myself, on this one. (Damn duality. When dealing in 'twice's', it always seems to favor twice as hard, rather than twice as easy....) I'm obviously still lax in the decision, however- after all, I've hardly decided how to even format her log, at this point. I've just been making entries without any of the additions, like calendar entries, that Tawn's had in his. So maybe there's already some manner of neglect. ...Not that I know if that constitutes neglect. All children are different, and it's natural that they wouldn't have the exact same things...
Obviously this is something I could be thinking about, rather than writing about...saving myself ink, if not sanity.
(That seems to be another flaw though, doesn't it? I spent all that time talking about the two in Tawn's log, and now I've naught to say in this one but the ramblings of my own mind, hardly involving either of them. Well, as long as I'm on a 'roll'...)
The back porch is done. I can't believe it didn't even take a week... they were projecting 12-14 days- but six days, and I have an absolutely wonderful back porch. The workmen who put it in were very nice, too- Terry was the contractor. Saturday morning he came at 6 o' clock in the morning, just like he said he would...rang the bell and as soon as I opened the door he pulled his hat off and apologized for waking me up. (I'd been up for an hour with Tam- for a few days she was getting up at very strange hours... but it was still a nice gesture.) He said his crew was already out back, and he just wanted me to know that so I wouldn't be surprised, or frightened by all the noise that early in the morning. He wouldn't let me invite him in- said he'd just come to let me know, and that he had to get to work right away. He wouldn't even go through the quick way to the back, through the house- he went around the side yard.
Any time after that, in the next few days, when I'd go out there to bring them coffee or cookies (I don't drink coffee, but I bought a coffeemaker when I saw them coming in with thermoses of it every morning...) they'd all be working. When they saw me coming (usually with Tam) they'd stop and put their hats on the baby, or rub her chin with the square-ended fingers of their work gloves. The noise didn't even bother me too much- Tam certainly didn't seem to mind- she laughed up a storm whenever the sander went on.
Sk was the only one who DIDN'T love the racket- he terrorized the men whenever he had a chance- nearly set the porch on fire when he chewed through (or, at least, we figured they were teeth marks...) some of the wiring on their power tools. I also strongly suspect that he's the culprit that left perfect lines of dead mice and birds out on the building site for them every morning... like a little zombie army protesting the construction.
But its all done- and I have a beautiful back porch that I've already moved the grill up onto (although now the 'bald' spot in the yard is MUCH more evident...). It's all wood deck, and a railing all the way around that doesn't quite reach waist-high, with carved knobs at the two points, and a single step down to the yard. I'm glad it came out to being only the one... the back door is perfectly even with the yard, but the yard tills out from there, slanting down...so they had to build the porch up on poles- albeit very short ones, on the two farthest points away from the house. So there's a single step down. If it had been any more, I would've had them put in a ramp. Given, Tam will only be an infant for so long, but who knows what other infants will come and go through here. (Be they mine, or not.)
I've got until Sunday, before I get the kitchen retiled- and that should be a 2 day max job... and it will make it look so much better. ...But I've got to clean the house before then. It's a mess- almost as bad as the shop.
I had hopes of getting the upstairs bathroom- MY bathroom, all revamped, as well. ...New tiling, repainted... putting in a better mirror, and, best of all, putting in a claw-toed tub. It'll have to wait, though, because the man who I wanted to do the retiling (and who also has a great deal on the new fixtures and maybe even the tub...) is on vacation. I could get someone else to do it, but bathrooms are his specialty, and I'd rather have the best. I'll just have to have 90% my dream house, until then.
...But oh, that back porch is heaven. ...After the kitchen's done, I've got to have someone over for dinner...or a picnic, or SOMETHING. I feel so much better entertaining when my house isn't in pieces.
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 5:30 pm
heart +Earaches, Hairballs, and Red Stars. heart
=July 3rd:
+Good gods, where to begin. ...Tam has an ear infection, and I only just got her to sleep... Sk has hairballs, and I have no wits left in me and a busted up knee. ...Alright now. Where to end... good gods...
Tam had her doctors appointment yesterday afternoon- she was pretty good for the doctor, although she did bite down on his tongue depressor. He checked her ears.. and her nose and throat, too, just in case it was a sort of viral infection or flu. But he said it was just an inner ear infection, and they were common in infants around her growth level. I've got some medicine to give her (which, of course, I have to sneak into her...otherwise she throws tantrums). I don't really blame her, poor baby- I know how much ear infections hurt, and she's already been in a grumpy mood since Aspyn hit child stage. ...She doesn't like the fact that she doesn't feel like 'the ringleader' anymore, I think. But, in any case, she's been fussy and moody all day. She went to bed at the normal time, but woke up about two hours ago, absolutely miserable, with little tears all over her face, and I walked up and down the hall with her until the medication kicked in enough for her to go to sleep again. She's in here with me, now- in her cradle on the opposite side of the room. (I don't want the typing to wake her up...even if it is an off chance. Both my kids learned to sleep in a noisy atmosphere... but right now, I don't want to take the chance that she'll wake up again. Poor thing.)
Sk is no happy camper, either. I don't know why, but he's had a hairball problem since I let him back in the house this morning. He just sat in the corner all day huffing and sneezing... no hairballs yet, but I can just tell from the constant sneezing, and the little squirreled up 'I'm about to sneeze' face in between it all. A while ago I went downstairs and got a daub of butter out of the ceramic butter bowl, chased him down (I caught him at the top of the stairs) and rubbed it on his left front paw. He growled and spat at me, jumping away into the upstairs bathroom. I haven't seen him since- but I hope he licked that butter off and it helped the hairballs go down.
...Two gripey patients that I have to FORCE to get well... a baby that will only take her medication concealed in banana mush and formula... and a cat that makes me CHASE him with a wad of butter on my finger before he'll let me help him. It's been a bit of a thankless day, you might say.
Not really a bad, one, even. Today's not been extraordinary at all, whether in good or bad terms. I got a bit done today- but not enough for me to herald the day as a 'triumph' or anything. I finally asked Claia if she'd like to be Tam's godmother... and she accepted! I'm so glad- I was wondering what I was going to do about that. I'd always imagined the kids having the same godmother- but Laur (who's Tawn's godmother...) has been out of town so much, she's hardly even MET Tam, except for when she was torturing her son! (Another episode that we won't go into. I've neither the sanity nor the ink.) And Tawn's grown up already, really... he doesn't really have need for a godmother anymore (at least, in the strictest, most practical sense of the word..) ...and Claia's known Tam since she was born, and her Aspyn is Tam friend. So, if anything were ever to happen to me, I'd want Claia to be the one to take care of Tam.
...The only other thing that I can think of that I really got done today is the reason why I have a busted knee. ...Not that I BUSTED it, per se... it's not the best piece of my 'equiptment'- hasn't been for ages. But I certainly 'twinged' it again, today. I was moving things out of the upstairs bedroom- Tam will be a child before long, and she's going to need a room of her own- (she can hardly stay in my room) and the knee said 'that's enough' as I carried a box down the stairs. It's only acting up when I go down a flight of stairs though, now. And I'm not planning on going back DOWN again until tomorrow. ...So, with luck, a nice night of sleep will put it all back in place.
That upstairs room is a few doors down from mine- there's the upstairs bathroom, the linen closet, a hall closet- and then the extra room. I've always thought I'd turn it into a guest bedroom- but I never hauled any of my extra crap (pardon the language, but that's exactly what it is) out of there. Talk about deja vu- I had to clear out what used to be my workshop on the first floor for Tawn. ...God knows what I'm going to do if I have any MORE kids... at this point, they'd have to make a room out of the attic, or camp out in the living room, or some'ought. ...The attic would probably make a fairly nice loft room- everything I've got stored up there would just have to be pushed aside. And the basement really isn't habitable- I shouldn't even be putting boxes down there. I've not lived in this house long enough to know if it floods, but the piping down there is pretty suspicious.
I guess, when it comes right down to it, Tawn would probably be moved out by the time I got another one (if I ever do. We're speaking in hypotheticals, here.)... and then, his old room could always be 'handed down'. It's a little sad to think of repainting that red-star border, or taking out the sailboat bed that he still sleeps in. (He doesn't 'weigh the anchor' anymore... but he's still got the little waves painted on the side, and the 'below deck' where Peabody sleeps. ...And I don't know, but there's just such a...finality, to taking apart a child's room. It's like they can't ever come home again. Not really. They might BE there, but the child is gone. Which, I guess, would happen even if they still had the little red stars on the wall. It's just a little more definitive, is all.
Well, Sk just wandered back into the room- hasn't said anything- either he's forgiven me for the 'butter incident', or he sees Tam in the room and doesn't want to wake her, but he's jumped up on the air conditioner and is looking out the window. ...Seems almost like a sweet little kitty when he's like that. (And gods only help us if he looks over and sees what I'm typing about him.) I hope I can move the cradle back into the bedroom without waking her up- because I'm sure as not leaving her alone, and I'm not sleeping in here on the floor.
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 5:32 pm
heart +Glass Menagerie...and a Toast. heart =July 5th:
To quote Quiet exactly... (or, at least, I believe they're Quiet's words. They're from a pamphlet stuck off to the side of the old billboard that's fastened to the wall outside the nursery. It's been there as long as I've been in the SMhq- the tape's even rather yellowed. So perhaps they're not her words. But even so... I've gotten off into a tangent... again.)She, quoting, Infants are generally learning about the world, as they have just "hatched." Sometimes, all they want to do is rest, while other times they are bouncing bundles of joy. They meet most of their lifelong friends at this age, and make great bonds with each other. Infant stage is when most keepers find out their SM's personality, though it could still change as they grow older.
Well, to start off, I think I should say that having Tam's been such a different experience than having Tawn, as an infant. He never really...surprised me, after the initial 'getting to know him' phase. Sure, in the beginning I was always amazed at how quiet he was, and undemanding, and how even the worst little baby aches and pains would be swallowed up and kept inside- never a cry or a pout from him. But after that became the 'norm', I think I can fairly say that I knew what he was about. I knew that when he met new people, he'd be polite- he'd always call his elders 'Ms.' and 'Mr'... and that he'd come up to me in the morning and give me a hug. He's a sweet, caring thing, and he's always been that way.
Tam is...different. Well, of course she's different, she's a separate person. I didn't mean it to come out like that. What I mean is, she's not...predictable, I guess. I'm feeling very badly about putting this all into words, because I either sound like I'm disparaging against my second-born, or I'm calling my first-born a 'flat, predictable personality'. ...There's a better way to approach this...
Tam is still surprising me, I suppose is a safe thing to say. Tawn's personality was more or less solid when he was her age. Or, at least, he internalized most of the change, and it wasn't evident to me. With Tam, she's still 'coming into her own'. And I'm glad she is. It means she's growing up the way she should.
What brought all this to mind was late in the afternoon- for once, everyone was home- Tawn was watching television, Peabody was asleep in his basket, Tam was in the living room, in her playpen (with Tawn, of course) and I was upstairs in the attic, looking for Sk. (I went to the vet and she'd sent me home with some fish-flavored syrup- for his hairballs- that he'd take to a little better than my chasing him about the house with butter.) I found him, curled up inside an open hatbox (god only knows what happened to the lid...) that'd fallen off the top of a shelf, and was tilted so it lay within a patch of sunlight from the one window up there. I woke him up- and told him I'd put his dinner out on the table (coated in the syrup- not that I mentioned that part...). He's usually still a very sleepy little cat, coming out of a square of sunlight- it's the only time he's almost docile- so he went downstairs without a fuss. I didn't follow him- I put the hatbox back up on the shelf, and starting picking at other things- the box of old cards I've gotten, candle votives, Sk's old food dishes. I got lost in it all, and after who knows how long, Tawn came up with Tam.
Apparently, she'd been fussing at him to turn the TV off- that she didn't like the sound- and that he'd muted it and been watching on captions, but she was still fussing. I took her from him- I hadn't meant to be upstairs so long, anyway- and Tawn went back downstairs so he wouldn't miss his program.
Whatever she'd been doing downstairs, she wasn't fussing any now (I assume she'd been doing it just to bother her brother...), and sat on my lap as I went through a trunk of wrapped bundles that's been in storage for so long, I didn't have any clue as to what was in them. (When I lived above the shop, there was hardly room for half my things- so they've been in storage since I moved to Gaia. And when we came to this house, mostly everything in storage that wasn't furniture went straight up into the attic.)
Mostly everything in the truck was...decoration, of some kind. Some stained-glass bird hangings to go in the windows, a ceramic Santa centerpice... things like that. Not too far into the trunk were some more little figurines- miniatures, actually. I collected them when I was younger. Tiny bits of glass and ceramic- mainly animals- but some were little buildings, as well- carved and painted wood homes that would be dwarfed by a quarter. Tam had been her usual quiet, nonchalant self as I'd gone through most of the trunk, pulling at the loop in my jeans at one point... but when I pulled out those little animals, she opened her eyes more than that half-lidded... 'Sk' expression she's gotten down so well, and watched me as I balanced a miniature glass giraffe on the tip of my finger and held it up to catch the light. She didn't ask to hold them, but I put a little ceramic kitten in her paw- one smaller than the nail on my pinkie finger. She just... looked at it, for a while. Then she held her paw up to see if it would catch the light- and I leaned down and kissed her, right on the head, between the ears, where her red fur is the softest- that baby down that seems to collect about their ears and cheeks. I told her that the ceramic ones wer painted, and that they wouldn't pick up light. But that the ones made of pure, colored glass- those could shine, and have little lights inside them, when they caught it. So I found her another from the collection- a little blue glass snake- bigger than the ceramic kitten, but not by much, with two, black glass eyes, each no bigger than the heads of the bob-headed pins I use for sewing. She put it on the back of her paw, and lifted it up until one of those last beams of sunlight from the day that was coming through the window picked it up. I was at a bad angle- and couldn't see the blue glass shine and twinkle- but I knew that she could. When I asked her if she wanted to see more, she looked up at me, and said... "Don't let me break them."
I... didn't know what to say. She hadn't said it in...sarcasm, or in jest. It wasn't some sort of baby-like innocence, or even adult-like maturity. It was just a statement. Maybe a plea, that she couldn't bear for them to be broken. "It's alright," I told her. "They're going to be yours. All of them." When I said that, she put the ones in her hands back on the floor, and I thought she either didn't want them, or that she was protesting that I would give them to her... but she'd only put them down so she could lift her paws up to me. I picked her up from my lap and hugged her. ...You know, hugs are designed very well, for you can't see the face of whoever it is you're embracing. And, right then, I felt the warmth of her little body, and her soft paws, reaching as far around my neck as they could... but I didn't see her face, and whatever expression was on it- and glad for it. Because, if I had, I think I would've been crying.
...It seems I'm still getting to know her. My little Tam. I don't know what I thought she was going to be, or if I'd been thinking anything at all- but now I know that she's going to keep on surprising me. ...I love her so much. And I can only hope I can give her everything she needs, and to understand her as much as I can.
Until then, I'll just love her, and be here for the ride. It feels like a toast, doesn't it? "To the journey". ...Clink.
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 5:32 pm
heart +Little Miss Attitude. heart
=July 31st:
+Tam had a doctors appointment today. I would have just taken her to Maddie in the nursery- like most of the SM parents do, but she's had the nursery closed off for a few days now. I don't think she meant closed to emergencies or to doctors appointments- but I'd rather not bother her at the moment. I left her a note earlier today, requesting an appointment for the adoption process.
So I took Tam to a doctor outside of Gambino. A nice man- Dr. Mosely- he had stuffed animals in the waiting room that I tried to get Tam to play with- but she gave me a look like I was the stupidest person in the world, and said "No." About two minutes later she said "Thank you." I didn't realize she meant 'No thank you', at first. ...It means the extensive 'respect for your elders' training... is starting to take effect... o_O well, at least a little.
It was just a regular appointment- but when Sk found out I was taking her to the doctors, he threw an absolute fit. Wanted to come. But I wouldn't let him (Dr. Mosely is a pediatrician- lots of little children in the waiting room... and who knows what Sk'd do to frighten them...) he threw an absolute fit and has been making the worst noise up in the attic ever since. I'll go up later to 'survey' the damage, but I'm not going to cater to his little hissy fits. The two of them will have to learn that they can't be together twenty-four hours a day. Besides Aspyn, Tam doesn't seem to care for socializing with the other SM's- and I don't want her to grow up being disrespectful to anyone, SM or otherwise. She can have her own personality, she can be an individual- in fact, I COMPLETELY encourage it. But I won't let her grow up thinking she's better than everyone else, or that her time is worth more than others. It's a balance, and she has to learn it. ...So Sk stayed home.
It was just a check-up, not a big deal, anyway. She checks out just fine- hearing 100%, 20-20 vision- and the last traces of that ear infection she had are all gone. She was pretty good for the doctor- she wouldn't open her mouth the first time he told her, but one look from me across the room, and open it went. I'm not going to worry about the 'attitude' much right now- but if she's still like this when she's a child, she and I are going to have quite a few conversations...
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Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2004 1:41 pm
heart +Changes heart
=August 6th:
+My little baby grew. Tam's a beautiful little child, and it all just feels so surreal. I'm so used to having her on my hip, that whenever we get out of the car, I look around, like something's missing. And sometimes I adjust like I still have a baby on my hip, needing shifted up. ...I didn't have this 'phantom infant' thing going on when Tawn changed over to child... but Tam was an infant longer than he was... and also, now that I think about it, I didn't carry him half as much as I toted her around. (She would crawl out of the basinet when I put her in it.)
But she changed, and I'm ecstatic about it. Tawn is glad too, I can tell. He's been stressing recently- about the 5th stage marathon... and something that has to do with Sarabi... and I think he just wanted to make sure he gets to see Tam grow up. Tam, on the other hand, seems a bit at odds with it all. I can tell, and I know we'll be having some talks about how she's feeling. ....I've always wanted her to be an individual- and she most certainly is. But I also want her to realize that everyone deserves a measure of respect, and there's nothing fruitful in hurting other people's feelings. I don't think she does it on purpose- it's just a remnant of having spent so much time with Sk, and being so close with him... but now that she's not an infant anymore, what she says in jest might not be so funny anymore- and could hurt someone's feelings. ...I think she's starting to understand, but, all in all, it confuses her. What she's been all her life- versus what she thinks she needs to become. I know she'll find a balance- she has the making of a very strong little skullmonkey, but I want to make sure it's not a journey that makes her uncomfortable with who she is.
...This is all a little premature, but it's something I'll be addressing, probably, but it's been on my mind since yesterday.
I invited Laur over to the house tonight to celebrate Tam's growth. We were over at her apartment last night- and apparently, while Zounds was trying to take a picture of Tam (he's a real little photographer in the making..), he climbed a tree outside the apartment complex, and got stuck. He fell out, and now he has a pretty nastily bruised tail. Laur called this morning, though- and said that he'd checked out alright, and nothing was broken- and that she'd still be coming over for stirfry. ^_^ I'm glad- I rented a movie for the two of us to watch, and I've already promised to pay Tawn for watching the kids. And now I have to go check to see if I can find Sk. He was supposed to be watching the shop for me this afternoon- but when I couldn't find hide nor hair of the little pitch-colored beast this morning, Tawn offered to watch the shop. ....So Sk's going to be in a world of hurt when I find him. ....
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Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2004 5:59 am
heart +First Night heart
=August 7th:
+Well, Tam just spent her first night 'on her own'- that is, she didn't sleep in my room with me- after all, she could hardly fit in that red-trimmed, white basinet anymore. ...It was a little nervewracking. For me, that is. As soon as Tawn and I hauled that mattress in there, she was more than happy to close the door behind us and say "See you in the morning." She's not gotten up yet, actually- I'm letting her sleep in because I don't feel like getting dressed, yet. (I'm sitting in my pajamas in my office. Tawn's already gotten up, eaten breakfast, and taken Peabody for a walk. ....I don't know HOW he's related. XD)
Sk's never slept in that room before- given, it was just used as a storeroom, but now that it's Tam's, it holds all new appeal. ...Which reminds me. I have to pick up her paint today- and I'm going to start to teach her how to read. Tawn said he'd like to help, and went through his bookshelf last night to find the ones he thinks she'd like. ...It's really a grand thing that Tam has Tawn- he cares about her so much, and always forgives her when she comes after him with a rubber band arsenal or yanks out a hunk of his fur. (Not that she's EVER been allowed to anything like that- and especially now that she's old enough to know the difference between right and wrong.) It's too bad that he never had an older sibling... but perhaps he's one of those kids that was destined to be the 'first born'. He has that responsible nature that makes me think so, for one thing. And he's always been so...humble, with his talents and his kindness. I think he's a wonderful brother to her. And one day she'll know how lucky she is to have him.
Anyway, I should go wake her up now. (Which won't be easy, with Sk on the bed with her. *sigh* Mornings have suddenly gotten more interesting.
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Posted: Tue Aug 10, 2004 11:48 pm
exclaim Tam's Turn exclaim
=+August 11th
+This is my first log entry. ...Wow, that was obvious. But I didn't know what else to write. Mom said she did the same thing for Tawn when he reached his child stage. ...I'm not saying this very well.
I went to the zoo- Mom dropped me off and Bob and Maddie took us- or, maybe it was Bob's idea. I don't know. But when I got there, Maddie was in the van. I thought it was going to be annoying, but there were these cats- panthers..not cats.. and they looked like big versions of Sk. I told him all about them- and he said that good things come in small packages.
...I hope Aspyn comes back from vacation soon. She should see me now that I have my skull. ...And I want to show her this place in the woods that Tawn took me to- there's a cave out there, with blue flowers inside. ...We could turn it into some secret hideaway.
Mom would be mad if she knew I was up this late- but now that I have my own room, after she says goodnight, I could stay up as late as I can.... if I don't get caught, that is. ...I should be talking about my new baby sister. Tobias brought her home. She's so little... but I don't really know what to say, yet. She's brand new. She's also orange. ... Yeah. Orange.
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Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2004 6:23 pm
exclaim Tam's Turn exclaim
=+August 16th
+My room is all painted, and it looks awesome. Absolutely awesome- it's this greyish green color, and we painted a border around the windows of red clovers- and Mom and I went down to the Furniture Depot and found the GREATEST bed- it's green-stained wood, a dark green, but you can tell it's just a stain, and not paint- Mom showed me the difference. The headboard is the best part- the shape is like ^^^- where it goes up in three places like that- although they're rounder than that. And there's a heart cut out of it, under the middle bump. I think I'd like to make some things out of wood- I think I could carve something that looked pretty good, actually- maybe I could make a little table to match my bed.
And Aspyn is back! I haven't gotten to see her yet, but Mom was talking on the phone with her mother, and they're back!! She will FLIP when she sees my new room. Absolutely flip.
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Posted: Sat Aug 21, 2004 9:23 pm
heart +Interests heart
=August 21st:
+Tam's really coming along with her reading. She read me almost the entire 'Wally Goes Fishing' book that used to be Tawn's this afternoon. I had plenty of time this afternoon- we would have read more, but I could tell that she was getting a little tired of the lesson, so we took a break. ...She likes to read, and I know she's glad she's learned how- but she doesn't have the same voracious appetite for the written word as Tawn did. Which is fine- their interests differ.
Speaking of interests, though, she did ask me if I would get her some carving tools. I think she was hoping she could just slip that 'under the fence' without me asking too much about it- but there's just something that tweaks the "Mom-gene" in me when one of my kids asks for a sharp object. XD But she just said she wants to learn how to carve. And I don't have a problem with that- in fact, setting aside the natural 'please please please please don't let her cut herself' inner mantra- I'm glad she's interested in something, and wants to learn something new. So I'm going to ask Keppit if she has any recommendations of what sort of set I should give her. She's always been the one 'into' that sort of thing... in fact, maybe I'll just send her over to Keppit's and SHE can teach her how to carve. I'd hardly be any help to her in that, and I'd want her to learn how to do it with someone watching her, for a while, at least. ...Alright, now I have to add THAT to my to-do-list. Call Kepp.
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Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2005 2:19 am
exclaim Tam's Turn exclaim
=+July 28th
+ Oh, I wish I'd not found this journal. The big gap stares at me as if to say "well where the hell have you been"? ...Only I would be able to see pages as mocking me, I swear...
Well, I'm still living at home, but it's because I've been too busy to worry about thinking of somewhere else to live. Now that I actually have oposable thumbs, it's amazing how much better I am with my power tools. Aunt Kep has been teaching me how to build set flats, and to do some basic carpentry- and it's been great. I outfitted my whole room with green-stained furniture to match my bed (I extended the frame and matched it up so you can only see a hairline stitch where they connect- I couldn't fit in the old one now that I'm a fifth stager), and I constructed an ornate cat tree that reached all the way up a wall and across the ceiling for Sk. He seems to enjoy it- although, for some reason I've not seen much of him the last few days. I think he's gotten himself locked in someone's garage again.
Anyway, I'll make a better effort to keep up with this foolish thing. I can't stand the idea of having a record of my life as a child, and then it cutting off there- I mean, what would people think?
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