heteria
scarletrook
Ok lets start from the top
Celexa= If you're depressed and not manic this helps ( I took it for three years)
Zyprexia= Worst thing I have taken so far, started in June, ended in late August. Made me ill ( I was sick to my stomach AND I got colds easier then usual) and upped my blood/ sugar level to just below the danger zone for diabetes... NOT FUN! Knocks you out.
Zonegran= I started this in september, after my second bout of celexa withdrawls. also knocks you out, sleep within ten minutes of taking it.
Trasodone= anti- depressant, but I was taking it to help me sleep.
Cymbalta= Anti-depressant used to help replace the celexa (found out I'm clinicly depressed as well as Bi-Polar type 2) Helps sleep a little, but doesn't cause you to become commatose after taking.
Okay, that was every up until a week ago, when i quit Zonegran and was put on...
Lithium= scary little bugger, I was told that if I eat more then 1500 mg of salt i'll go in to a coma...First dose is tonight.
Welbutrin= I started this a week ago, I'm not sure what to think about it yet, yeah sex is actually fun now, but it's not helping the depression.
Yeesh I feel like a drug addict sometimes...
Celexa= If you're depressed and not manic this helps ( I took it for three years)
Zyprexia= Worst thing I have taken so far, started in June, ended in late August. Made me ill ( I was sick to my stomach AND I got colds easier then usual) and upped my blood/ sugar level to just below the danger zone for diabetes... NOT FUN! Knocks you out.
Zonegran= I started this in september, after my second bout of celexa withdrawls. also knocks you out, sleep within ten minutes of taking it.
Trasodone= anti- depressant, but I was taking it to help me sleep.
Cymbalta= Anti-depressant used to help replace the celexa (found out I'm clinicly depressed as well as Bi-Polar type 2) Helps sleep a little, but doesn't cause you to become commatose after taking.
Okay, that was every up until a week ago, when i quit Zonegran and was put on...
Lithium= scary little bugger, I was told that if I eat more then 1500 mg of salt i'll go in to a coma...First dose is tonight.
Welbutrin= I started this a week ago, I'm not sure what to think about it yet, yeah sex is actually fun now, but it's not helping the depression.
Yeesh I feel like a drug addict sometimes...
Well, three and a half years after I posted that, I'm completely off medications. I stopped taking them in July 2005. Just completely cold turkey. I felt sick a lot, but mentally I felt better, like shedding a weird constricting skin.
Here's a list of why;
-They weren't helping. I was still have violently manic to depressed movements at least once a week. I never felt "normal."
-Looking back now, I didn't realise how manic I actually was, the few memories I have of my 4 years with medication, I was doing these stupid things because they seemed perfectly normal to me at the time.
-Most of my memories of those 4 years are very vague and unclear. Like there's this weird disattachment to my mind at the time and I didn't record everything properly. I can't remember movies, books, conversations, ETC...
-It totally destroyed my creativity. I went from writing daily to maybe having one idea a month and never getting it on paper. In actuallity earlier this last year I finally started writing again, which makes me think my mind is healing.
-Lithium and one of the other meds made me very angry and very sleepy. So I would get upset then lose my momentum because I'd get tired, so it was viewed as a manic phase. I would hit my at the time boyfriend for doing simple things that just annoyed me, and he would get upset and start smacking me around right about the time the sleepiness kicked in. This was a daily accurence.
-I wasn't experiencing any good, happy, or remotely decent moods. Everything was suppressed except for the manic and depressed phases that came through. This led to me getting more and more depressed, I wasn't getting any enjoyment out of anything.
Now, I've been off for three years. I'm still depressed a lot. I've dumped the guy I was wish, and within a week I felt saner. And while twice I've had manic episodes, thankfully I have friends and family who helped me through. I have to control what I eat or drink, because a lot of soda/caffinee really messes with my mood and I crash. The same with sugar or overly processed foods (the stuff in boxes mostly). But, I'm off my meds, I feel just that much better, even though I still know I have a problem. I feel incontrol more, I can enjoy chocolate or a good joke now.
I'm not at all saying everyone should dump their medications because they don't help. All I am saying is that with a lot of support from my family, and some almost painful self-awareness I'm able to function better without mine. I'm at a point where being bi-polar doesn't affect my life and most people I know casually aren't even aware of it.
