"What I must say"

This is the beginning...I am going to share with you...
A beginning...of which I must tell you.
There has been lingering thought running through my mind...and deep within my heart..is pain combined.

Deep within there has been voices...voices that tell me to stay...because you have what is the only part that keeps me alive...
Voices... that tell me...maybe I should have ran...a long time ago...when I could have prevented this... sometimes I agree... but then I remember everything you said...and all the memories we made...and as much as it hurts now...to think that maybe you have given up so very soon. I do not blame you.

Many have left before you...
Many have hurt me over and over again...slowly cracking at my seal waiting to get through to me...only the surface was truly damaged...but..after a while...it got through..when you came.

When you came...A new light had begun to show...
When you came...All I learned was trust and love...
When you came...you broke through my barrier...and I let you in.
But I slowly debated to regret that decision soon after I did so.
And trust began to wither away...from you and I.
And the love that you gave me...you began to hesitate.

So now...when I see you...I feel distant, from you pushing me away.
Now, when I hear your voice...I'm not sure what to say.
Now, the day has turned night...once more.
Now, I am bare and stripped of everything of me...

And now..I am left A little bit worried...
A little bit scared...
I'm trying to hold on..but I'm unsure if your there...
I love you with all my heart...
And I could never compare...
I'm trying to be stable...and hold my head strong...
but my eyes can't seem...to stop watering on...
I'm here for as long as I can stay...without you wishing me away...
So my best I will stay...with out the pain easing in...
Because my heart is all I have left...
and what is left is all that you have...

But what do I do with my soul hovering in the air?
What do I tell myself when you aren't here?
What shall I do if you leave? I don't know if my heart will live any longer...
What shall I do if you ask me to stay?
Will your heart ever change?
Will you forever now be distant?
Or will you return and try and mend this?
Do you even care about the state I am in?
Can you see what you have done?
What war do you think you have won?
Do you enjoy doing me in?
Would you like me to do the same?
Do you realize that you have lied? You shouldn't make a promise you could not keep to me...you know better then to toy with me...

So what would you like me to do..with my soul hovering in mid air?
You have what is left of the living being of my own...
And if you can see...I am drowning of the words that you had once said...
And I should not...knowing that I will once more...be let down...
So why is it that I let you win?
It is only so...that I had let you in...
My heart..what is left of its beated soul...is yours now...
If someday you shall choose to let it fall to the cold ground...
I am defeated...
I will have no strength to live...

What is there to live for?
What should my eyes seek to gaze upon?
I have nothing...

Nothing but the world..that I am slowly seeing once again as gray...
Nothing but my hovering soul in mid air hanging out to dry...
Nothing but the whirling wind whispering your name...
Nothing...but the sea..calling to me...
Nothing...but my eyes...poring out the last of what pain I can squeeze...
Nothing...but what you have left me...