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Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 10:41 pm

sabrinix

Amu Tsukiyomi-sama

Can I please just destroy something?

try playing violent video games?

Ah, if only I had some... however, I'd rather feel the destruction with my own two hands...

Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 10:45 pm

Amu Tsukiyomi-sama

sabrinix

Amu Tsukiyomi-sama

Can I please just destroy something?

try playing violent video games?

Ah, if only I had some... however, I'd rather feel the destruction with my own two hands...

er paper? chop it, rip it, burn it(safely)

sabrinix

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KeatonIshTak05

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Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 10:56 pm

Amu Tsukiyomi-sama

Can I please just destroy something?

Well, I don't recommend it, but one time I was feeling particularly destructive for no logical reason and ended up taking it out on my hair. I went from having hair to my hips to having a really short bob cut.

Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 11:10 pm

-Yuui-TR-Flourite-

o.o

Why is Yuui-san a ghost?

-Sapphire-Icy-Angel-

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Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 11:11 pm

-Yuui-TR-Flourite-

Amu Tsukiyomi-sama

-Yuui-TR-Flourite-

Amu Tsukiyomi-sama

-Yuui-TR-Flourite-

Amu Tsukiyomi-sama

Can I please just destroy something?

What do you plan on destroying?

something. As long as it's legal. I'm kinda....tired and annoyed. I'd be fine were I just tired....but I'm not just tired.

Tired & annoyed.
Why are you annoyed?

oh, I had to cook with my father. In anything that involves him, because of the years and years of mental/emotional torment he's caused me, if he pisses me off even slightly, I am pissed off for quite a while. Doesn't matter if he changes how he deals with me because he somehow miraculously noticed that I was pissed off, he screwed up so much before that I cannot deal with him. I just want out of this house, but haven't the means to do so (not enough monies/no car/no driver's license) add in the fact that I am "able to see outside the box" but am forced to work in the box because that's where everyone else is.....I'm sick of everything. I hate, hate, HATE being smart sometimes. There are advantages to being "blind" and "dumb" to existence of the box and the fact that you have to be in it.

If you want to get out of there, be on your own.
Work hard, go through the best college you can get into.
After college.
Find the right job to help you get out of there.
When you start out.
It'll be stressful, then things will get easier on you.
Just hang out, keep head down so slightly, look forward.
You have to be strong.

I'm in college....but I need out sooner than that. I'm actually afraid of my father. He's 300lbs and can dent the domed part of a beer keg with his palm, no problem. And he came after me once with intent to harm....though that was almost nine years ago. I am actually worried he might lose it and harm me. Thank god he works late every single day... And I hate being strong. I've had to do that crap for as long as I can remember, because I was so much smarter (and still am) than the adults I was around and ran across. I had to be strong and ignore stuff for long enough that I no longer want to, but "being strong" has become second nature to me. I almost kinda can't be weak any more. I got burned so many times when I was weak and went for help from someone else....I learned to just not do that. More than anything, I want to be able to be weak, frail, scared and have someone I know I can go to (other than my mother, she has enough to deal with as it is...) and they'll....for lack of a better word....protect me. Not tell me I'm imagining things, not be all "why are you telling me this". But, no. I've not found that exactly yet....so I keep having to be "Strong"...*bitter tone*...

Times like this I am acutely aware of how pathetic I can be if I let myself....and since being weak, pathetic is dangerous for me.....I feel bad. ******** all of this. Just ******** it all. No matter how much I talk it over, no matter how much I try to avoid being around/experiencing the stuff that will keep cutting into the mental/emotional wounds I have....being in this damn house, being around my damn ******** non-father....I want out. Just being around him is a constant drain on me mentally and emotionally. Like my invisible wounds are constantly being cut on when I have to deal with him. Had I the means.....I'd be gone. I'd talk to my mom, because she was the best parents I could have ever had, but not my "father".

And I don't want to burden others with my crap. It's not fair to them. Even if they've asked me. I'm odd like that....and yet I still explain because I'm trying so hard to get rid of the crap...

Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 11:13 pm

-Sapphire-Icy-Angel-

-Yuui-TR-Flourite-

o.o

Why is Yuui-san a ghost?

^^'

When I was a vampire.
I guess.
I died.
When I came too.
My body was in ashes.

-Yuui-TR-Flourite-

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Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 11:19 pm

KeatonIshTak05

Amu Tsukiyomi-sama

Can I please just destroy something?

Well, I don't recommend it, but one time I was feeling particularly destructive for no logical reason and ended up taking it out on my hair. I went from having hair to my hips to having a really short bob cut.

Wow, that is really long hair.. Though, I'm not going to cut my hair anywhere near short. It's super curly.

Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 11:21 pm

Amu Tsukiyomi-sama

KeatonIshTak05

Amu Tsukiyomi-sama

Can I please just destroy something?

Well, I don't recommend it, but one time I was feeling particularly destructive for no logical reason and ended up taking it out on my hair. I went from having hair to my hips to having a really short bob cut.

Wow, that is really long hair.. Though, I'm not going to cut my hair anywhere near short. It's super curly.

Yeah, and not to be offensive, but girls with afros look ridiculous.

KeatonIshTak05

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Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 11:21 pm

sabrinix

Amu Tsukiyomi-sama

sabrinix

Amu Tsukiyomi-sama

Can I please just destroy something?

try playing violent video games?

Ah, if only I had some... however, I'd rather feel the destruction with my own two hands...

er paper? chop it, rip it, burn it(safely)

That's a good idea.....now....where is paper that no one cares about....

Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 11:23 pm

Amu Tsukiyomi-sama

-Yuui-TR-Flourite-

Amu Tsukiyomi-sama

-Yuui-TR-Flourite-

Amu Tsukiyomi-sama

something. As long as it's legal. I'm kinda....tired and annoyed. I'd be fine were I just tired....but I'm not just tired.

Tired & annoyed.
Why are you annoyed?

oh, I had to cook with my father. In anything that involves him, because of the years and years of mental/emotional torment he's caused me, if he pisses me off even slightly, I am pissed off for quite a while. Doesn't matter if he changes how he deals with me because he somehow miraculously noticed that I was pissed off, he screwed up so much before that I cannot deal with him. I just want out of this house, but haven't the means to do so (not enough monies/no car/no driver's license) add in the fact that I am "able to see outside the box" but am forced to work in the box because that's where everyone else is.....I'm sick of everything. I hate, hate, HATE being smart sometimes. There are advantages to being "blind" and "dumb" to existence of the box and the fact that you have to be in it.

If you want to get out of there, be on your own.
Work hard, go through the best college you can get into.
After college.
Find the right job to help you get out of there.
When you start out.
It'll be stressful, then things will get easier on you.
Just hang out, keep head down so slightly, look forward.
You have to be strong.

I'm in college....but I need out sooner than that. I'm actually afraid of my father. He's 300lbs and can dent the domed part of a beer keg with his palm, no problem. And he came after me once with intent to harm....though that was almost nine years ago. I am actually worried he might lose it and harm me. Thank god he works late every single day... And I hate being strong. I've had to do that crap for as long as I can remember, because I was so much smarter (and still am) than the adults I was around and ran across. I had to be strong and ignore stuff for long enough that I no longer want to, but "being strong" has become second nature to me. I almost kinda can't be weak any more. I got burned so many times when I was weak and went for help from someone else....I learned to just not do that. More than anything, I want to be able to be weak, frail, scared and have someone I know I can go to (other than my mother, she has enough to deal with as it is...) and they'll....for lack of a better word....protect me. Not tell me I'm imagining things, not be all "why are you telling me this". But, no. I've not found that exactly yet....so I keep having to be "Strong"...*bitter tone*...

Times like this I am acutely aware of how pathetic I can be if I let myself....and since being weak, pathetic is dangerous for me.....I feel bad. ******** all of this. Just ******** it all. No matter how much I talk it over, no matter how much I try to avoid being around/experiencing the stuff that will keep cutting into the mental/emotional wounds I have....being in this damn house, being around my damn ******** non-father....I want out. Just being around him is a constant drain on me mentally and emotionally. Like my invisible wounds are constantly being cut on when I have to deal with him. Had I the means.....I'd be gone. I'd talk to my mom, because she was the best parents I could have ever had, but not my "father".

And I don't want to burden others with my crap. It's not fair to them. Even if they've asked me. I'm odd like that....and yet I still explain because I'm trying so hard to get rid of the crap...

If you want out fast, the money needed for your future.
Go into the military.
Like a nurse or doctor or something that involves computers.
Don't have to pick something involving shooting a gun.
Just a idea.
I think.
You'll share a dorm with someone while your in training.

-Yuui-TR-Flourite-

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Amu Tsukiyomi-sama
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Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 11:25 pm

KeatonIshTak05

Amu Tsukiyomi-sama

KeatonIshTak05

Amu Tsukiyomi-sama

Can I please just destroy something?

Well, I don't recommend it, but one time I was feeling particularly destructive for no logical reason and ended up taking it out on my hair. I went from having hair to my hips to having a really short bob cut.

Wow, that is really long hair.. Though, I'm not going to cut my hair anywhere near short. It's super curly.

Yeah, and not to be offensive, but girls with afros look ridiculous.

Well, white girls definitely do. I've seen black girls who looked really good with one. Me, I'd definitely look ridiculous with a curly fro.

Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 11:26 pm

-Yuui-TR-Flourite-

-Sapphire-Icy-Angel-

-Yuui-TR-Flourite-

o.o

Why is Yuui-san a ghost?

^^'

When I was a vampire.
I guess.
I died.
When I came too.
My body was in ashes.

o.o

Would you like Sapphire-chan to revive you using your ashes?

-Sapphire-Icy-Angel-

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-Yuui-TR-Flourite-

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Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 11:30 pm

-Sapphire-Icy-Angel-

-Yuui-TR-Flourite-

-Sapphire-Icy-Angel-

-Yuui-TR-Flourite-

o.o

Why is Yuui-san a ghost?

^^'

When I was a vampire.
I guess.
I died.
When I came too.
My body was in ashes.

o.o

Would you like Sapphire-chan to revive you using your ashes?

I fear.
If you do that.
Minky-chan will find out, torture me to death as punishment.

emotion_sweatdrop

Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 11:32 pm

-Yuui-TR-Flourite-

Amu Tsukiyomi-sama

-Yuui-TR-Flourite-

Amu Tsukiyomi-sama

-Yuui-TR-Flourite-

Amu Tsukiyomi-sama

something. As long as it's legal. I'm kinda....tired and annoyed. I'd be fine were I just tired....but I'm not just tired.

Tired & annoyed.
Why are you annoyed?

oh, I had to cook with my father. In anything that involves him, because of the years and years of mental/emotional torment he's caused me, if he pisses me off even slightly, I am pissed off for quite a while. Doesn't matter if he changes how he deals with me because he somehow miraculously noticed that I was pissed off, he screwed up so much before that I cannot deal with him. I just want out of this house, but haven't the means to do so (not enough monies/no car/no driver's license) add in the fact that I am "able to see outside the box" but am forced to work in the box because that's where everyone else is.....I'm sick of everything. I hate, hate, HATE being smart sometimes. There are advantages to being "blind" and "dumb" to existence of the box and the fact that you have to be in it.

If you want to get out of there, be on your own.
Work hard, go through the best college you can get into.
After college.
Find the right job to help you get out of there.
When you start out.
It'll be stressful, then things will get easier on you.
Just hang out, keep head down so slightly, look forward.
You have to be strong.

I'm in college....but I need out sooner than that. I'm actually afraid of my father. He's 300lbs and can dent the domed part of a beer keg with his palm, no problem. And he came after me once with intent to harm....though that was almost nine years ago. I am actually worried he might lose it and harm me. Thank god he works late every single day... And I hate being strong. I've had to do that crap for as long as I can remember, because I was so much smarter (and still am) than the adults I was around and ran across. I had to be strong and ignore stuff for long enough that I no longer want to, but "being strong" has become second nature to me. I almost kinda can't be weak any more. I got burned so many times when I was weak and went for help from someone else....I learned to just not do that. More than anything, I want to be able to be weak, frail, scared and have someone I know I can go to (other than my mother, she has enough to deal with as it is...) and they'll....for lack of a better word....protect me. Not tell me I'm imagining things, not be all "why are you telling me this". But, no. I've not found that exactly yet....so I keep having to be "Strong"...*bitter tone*...

Times like this I am acutely aware of how pathetic I can be if I let myself....and since being weak, pathetic is dangerous for me.....I feel bad. ******** all of this. Just ******** it all. No matter how much I talk it over, no matter how much I try to avoid being around/experiencing the stuff that will keep cutting into the mental/emotional wounds I have....being in this damn house, being around my damn ******** non-father....I want out. Just being around him is a constant drain on me mentally and emotionally. Like my invisible wounds are constantly being cut on when I have to deal with him. Had I the means.....I'd be gone. I'd talk to my mom, because she was the best parents I could have ever had, but not my "father".

And I don't want to burden others with my crap. It's not fair to them. Even if they've asked me. I'm odd like that....and yet I still explain because I'm trying so hard to get rid of the crap...

If you want out fast, the money needed for your future.
Go into the military.
Like a nurse or doctor or something that involves computers.
Don't have to pick something involving shooting a gun.
Just a idea.
I think.
You'll share a dorm with someone while your in training.

I know that for the soldier part of the military, I am not allowed to join. I have titanium in my spine, which makes me ineligible. Not too sure if this is also the case with computer, medical and any other parts of the military or not... So for the time being....I'm stuck. >n> almost makes me wish I was going to college out of state....but I'm basically paying for it myself....so I couldn't afford to live in a dorm... *hugs* Thank you for the military suggestion, though. I'd not thought of that one before.

Amu Tsukiyomi-sama
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Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 11:34 pm

Quote:

From: An anonymous benefactor
Message: Make like Rudolph and Herbie. Be in-de-pen-dent! Start up a dentist practice! Or not!
- Nick

.....XD
If only I knew dentistry...
*is wondering if the Nick part is a nod to my birthday*

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