Oh Nazzy, we're not fed up with you. We all have our moments, it's part of being human. If you really want to go on hiatus, don't let me stop you, but remember you're our friend, through thick and thin.
Oh thanks.. sweatdrop But ya know, you should keep at it. ^^ You'll surely keep improving.
ono How the heck did you do that shading? IT'S GORGEOUS.
ouo I know, I just like being melodramatic sometimes. I'd never burn my art stuff. I wuv you, art stuff~ /curls up on top of art hoard, hisses at anyone that comes near
”She's lost in the darkness, fading away; I'm still around here, screaming her name She's haunting my dreamworld, trying to survive; my heart is frozen, I'm losing my mind”
The Demon Queen is moving on...
... Or rather, moving back to where I belong, the deepest layer of Hell. I've tried my best to put everything that happened the past few days behind me and move on, but it seems like every new post related to it makes me want to go right over the edge again... I think it's about time I learn from my past mistakes and back off while I still can >.< Nika was right, I do cause a lot of drama... Never intentionally, not always directly either, but somehow I do always end up right in the middle of it... And I'm honestly sick of it; I can't even imagine how fed up you all must be with it >.<
I'm really really thankful for all the great times I've had in here with everyone, and I consider you all my good friends, even those who I haven't had a lot of chances to talk to yet... But as much as it hurts me to do this, I think it's for the best if I take a break from the guild, for an indefinite amount of time >.<
I just wanted to let you all know so you don't have to worry about me, because that is about the last thing I want to happen right now, next to even more drama >.< I'll stay a member of the guild (of course, this place is like my home), and I'll try and keep the birthday calendar updated as much as I can; you can also always PM me or comment on my profile if you want to talk, and if you want to talk on Meebo or msn you just have to ask ^^ I just think that, after what happened, I shouldn't be around here anymore... At least not until I learn to deal with drama better.
I'm so sorry for everything...
*following section uses words (in a different way than they usually are) and ideas from Toltec Philosophy that I have learned from the book "the Four Agreements", be forewarned, this will not make much sense unless you've read the book* any words (and some short phrases) used through their Toltec Philosophy meaning will have an asterisk after it Why are you creating such a Hell* for yourself? You are not being "Impeccable with the Word"*.....and it saddens me to see you do this to yourself... I can see all the Black Magic* your Dream* is causing you....that the Dream* causes everyone....
Please, try to break free from the Spells* you are under...to see someone in a Dream of Hell* pains me greatly...
Now, to explain the words/ideas as used in Toltec Philosophy as learned from "The Four Agreements": Dream: Everything is a dream (the dream of society, Dream of community, dream of a country, dream of humanity), all together in the Dream of the Planet and we can make it happy or painful. By how we speak, think and if we accept and internalize Emotional Poison. (emotional poison is things like "I'm ugly", "I'm stupid", "That guy is a jerk and mean", etc. Emotional Poison is also sent by gossiping about people *see above, "that guy...mean"*) Hell: Just the same as stereotypical hell, but in this case, hell is here, right now, on earth, because of the "dream of hell" we live in. (because of the Emotional Poison) "Impeccable with your Word": Words hold power over us. To tell someone they are "ugly" is to send your Emotion Poison at them. You are not just saying they are ugly, but also saying "I am ugly and am afraid it will be noticed". If you internalize such things, be they sent by you, to yourself or by someone else, to you, you have agreed and are now living in the dream of hell. Black Magic: The negative power the Word can have on yourself and others. Having Black Magic control you is part of the dream of hell. Alternatively, White Magic, using the power of the Word with love, is part of the dream of heaven. Spells: "You are ugly" is a spell. If you believe this, you internalize this, you will never think you are pretty. It is as if a black spell has been cast on you and until you realize that it is the "caster's" own Emotional Poison that they sent to you, you will never be free.
I am aware that this contains a tl;dr, but to understand what is meant and that it is meant as White Magic, not Black Magic, reading all of it is necessary. Reading the book would be even better.
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