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 Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2014 6:27 pm
It's always interesting being introspective.
I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter how close I'd be able to get to a person, it would still take serious manipulation to get me to say most of what's on my mind.
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Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2014 6:55 pm
I hate calling people. The mere thought of doing so makes me feel like I'm bound to end up just bothering them with crap that's usually pointless. So I only ever do so if something's either really important or something went really, really, really wrong. Me calling someone is this trope.
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 11:57 am
E's introspection epiphany pt 2.
I figured out what I am. Yes, it has been bugging me....but now I know and I feel better.
I'm a Demiromantic Heterosexual. I know it's pretty mainstream sounding.....but I'm just relieved that there's a way to describe myself.
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Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2014 7:20 pm
•○♣☼♣○•
I'm a perfectionist? Didn't actually see that one coming, maybe I should have XD
•○♣☼♣○•
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Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 11:51 pm
I feel like a terrible girlfriend
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Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 8:11 pm
Miss Perfection •○♣☼♣○•
I'm a perfectionist? Didn't actually see that one coming, maybe I should have XD
•○♣☼♣○•
It would certainly explain your username! ;D
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Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:55 am
Foam-Dome It would certainly explain your username! ;D
Hahaha I know right XD But seriously that username came into being because it was a pathetic amusing pun! Whenever I say 'I'm Perfection' removing the punctuation it becomes 'imperfection' which flips the meaning and was my own private joke on the perceptions of perfection. Plus... kinda had a huge ego (which I may or may not still have >.>).
But yeah when I was informed apparently (in the sense I probably am but don't want to admit it) I'm a perfectionist it was slightly hilarious XD
Maybe I should have made my username Miss Billionaire or something instead!
•○♣☼♣○•
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Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 8:41 am
I suffer from anxiety to the point where leaving the house to go to work is painful... & my manager doesn't want me to go to therapy as it'll "interfere with work" gonk
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Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 9:11 am
TH3_G1ITCH_ I suffer from anxiety to the point where leaving the house to go to work is painful... & my manager doesn't want me to go to therapy as it'll "interfere with work" gonk Then tell your manager that your anxiety will "interfere with work" a lot more? Or, alternatively, tell him or her that they'll just have to deal with the fact that you'll be going to therapy.
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Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 11:38 am
Foam-Dome TH3_G1ITCH_ I suffer from anxiety to the point where leaving the house to go to work is painful... & my manager doesn't want me to go to therapy as it'll "interfere with work" gonk Then tell your manager that your anxiety will "interfere with work" a lot more? Or, alternatively, tell him or her that they'll just have to deal with the fact that you'll be going to therapy. Sounds like another person that doesn't understand what having that chained lashing corpse whisper to you is like.
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Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:23 pm
Foam-Dome TH3_G1ITCH_ I suffer from anxiety to the point where leaving the house to go to work is painful... & my manager doesn't want me to go to therapy as it'll "interfere with work" gonk Then tell your manager that your anxiety will "interfere with work" a lot more? Or, alternatively, tell him or her that they'll just have to deal with the fact that you'll be going to therapy. I'm worried I'd be fired for doing so, though. Hes already "not impressed by my attitude" as though I can flip on-and-off my depression like a light switch. I understand what you're saying, I truly do. I just worry what the consequences of my actions will be. I already don't earn enough money to live in my own place. If I lost this job, I'd be f'd! D8
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Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2014 5:24 am
i want to punch myself in the face repeatedly--i am apparently back on this site for items, mostly cash site items, because i realized its actually possible to use the cash offers system and now have somehow gotten addicted. i am officially a gaia cash shop whore after telling myself repeatedly playing barbie with virtual items is not worth it previously. :I i probably would've been okay with this back when the site wasn't selling items and bundles that cost more than i would spend on food in a day. i'd even do art on here but i don't think i'm good enough to sell s**t.
but basically, it's 5AM during spring break and instead of doing important essays for the past few hours ive been looping diaper commercials and staring blankly at my terrible taste in avvie fashion
i would start talking to people on here but i'm afraid both on tumblr and all other sites lately i'm much better at monologuing and ranting like a batshit crazy a*****e than maintaining polite conversation. and tbh i'm still mostly only talking on here when i'm feeling unhappy/negative for some reason.
other giant textwall vaguerant that i don't really know where to put anywhere:
lately i have constantly been debating my orientation. i'm not really debating my sexuality, per se, because it's pretty ******** obvious to me that i'm something around gray asexual? like sex isn't nauseatingly unappealing but it's not far from it. if i ever feel anything it's more of a hindrance or annoyance on the level of an inconvenient itch or a bruise or stomachache that's relieving when it goes away. it's a human function that tends to be both boring and unappealing to me.
however my main problem is i can't tell if i'm aromantic or not as well??? i just don't get along well with people, and it's honestly me having the problem and not them. i've never had a serious crush that lasted more than a month that i had to convince myself that i liked them and later realized that my reason for liking someone was that they were "funny" or "nice" and i literally cannot at all remember why i liked them later or even basic personality traits or even conversations. about 70% of any attraction i've had i can now recognize as rebounds from heavy depression because a person made me happy. 10% was pity sympathy, which makes me feel like a terrible person. it's not even a 'going through a phase' kind of attraction i worry about so much as me wondering if i literally had to persuade myself that i liked them. so i could feel happy about liking someone. because that was normal and healthy and it made me feel better about myself in a sick and sort of depressing way??? i feel like that's actually a legitimate concern; that i could be a vaguely sociopathic tendency i've developed and it's really. not helping me figure out thing. i don't even think i'd be concerned if i wasn't constantly having it shoved in my face by being dragged to literally 5 weddings over the past year and a shitton more incoming this year. :/ i don't hate it but i do hate people talking specifically to me about it and the assumptions i know they draw. i'd probably be panromantic/demiromantic if not aromantic, but i don't ******** know if i am and i feel like a freak as someone who is already EXTREMELY asocial and told i'm "sad" in a very patronizing way for being okay with that.
basically... just. i hate labels. BUT. i'd really like the security they offer by knowing what the ******** is wrong with me or if the reason i never experience any attraction at all anymore for the past few years is just because i'm in a healthier place and this is how i am. :l
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