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Holy crap my life is a ******** rollercoaster

I think it's a bit of a contradiction to say that getting good grades is all you've ever been good at since in order to get good grades you have to be good at learning the material in classes and studying to prepare for tests and such. Also, if you had good grades in all your classes then that shows an ability to learn the material and such even when you don't like a subject/class which I think can sometimes mean more then getting a good grade in a topic you love, since if you love it it's easy to study. I always have had a hard time with doing well in topics I don't like.

Also, just because I started college early DOESN'T mean I'm a "genius". Getting into college is not hard, especially since in my case it was community college so all I had to do was take a placement test and that's it. I got good grades in most my classes since all the majority of tests were easy multiple choice tests. Afterwards being in University my GPA went down since the difficulty in classes went up, an "A" was now a lot harder to obtain.

I may be wrong but that seems similar to your situation, and honestly at first I was a little discouraged when my GPA started to go down. I really wanted to ace all my classes, but with so much resting on exams if you screwed up just a little bit your chances of getting an "A" in the class now are diminished. So what I've realized is that the reason I don't think GPA means a ton is that depending on what classes you're taking it might be easy to get a 4.0 that semester, or you might work your but off and get something a lot lower. And it's all very subjective, even if it's the same class the difficulty in getting an "A" may be very different. And every semester has it's own challenges outside of school and within so regardless of teacher and interest in the class, depending on other factors the difficulty in getting the desired grade in the class might be easy or difficult. Am I even making sense? I often have trouble saying what's in my head, I think that's why I end up saying so much is in hopes that if I say a lot I might get my point across…

So when I say thing like "grades don't matter" I don't mean they have no significance, I just mean they aren't the most important thing and I don't think it's a very consistent measurement. I could take the same class as someone and we both get an "A" but took the class a year apart, and it's possible that just due to that the grade means something different.

Cell biology at my school the professor that teaches in the fall people are happy and feel accomplish at getting a "C" since the class is so hard and they worked hard for that grade (even if they normally get A's all the time). The teacher in the spring is easier so a "C" from him could mean something different since not as much work is required to get a "C" from him.

You are not worthless. Really, you are worth how ever much you perceive yourself to be. If you keep telling yourself you're worthless that's what you'll think. Try and see yourself in a more positive light and think more highly of yourself. A positive attitude can do wonders. I know this from personal experience, and I know it can be hard if you don't have a lot of people encouraging you (I have no idea how many you have though…) but clearly just from seeing LMF and Div's view of you it seems there's lots of good aspects to you.

I don't know you very well, but from the conversations I've had with you in the past I'd say you are an interesting person to talk to and the main thing you need now is self encouragement. Also, try not to worry so much and I'm sure you'll feel better for less worry 3nodding

On a side note: I seriously need to learn to take my own advice… I worry far too much and it stresses me out. Whenever I'm able to convince myself, however, that there's nothing to worry about, or at least nothing I can do, then I stress less and feel happier.