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 Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 12:45 am
epic-writer42 Yoru Kurosawa epic-writer42 Yoru Kurosawa epic-writer42 Being infatuated and aware of it is a weird feeling. It leaves you feeling like you're losing your mind. Worse yet, it's once again for someone I can't be with. I am the one that is walking the night...
I almost feel the same way... except I don't know if I can be with this person, and won't know until he makes up his mind. I'm gritting my metaphysical teeth and soldering on, but that doesn't make it any less difficult.
EDIT: I realized that what I said was unhelpful, so I am adding something: truthfully, it will burn. It will smart, and you will probably hate it. It eventually becomes better, but by how much is completely up to your subconscious and you. It is a collaborative effort. There are days where I wish I could turn my own infatuation off. If you discover that off-switch, please let me know...
Sleepless, I'm dreaming eyes wide open... I don't think I stand a chance of escaping even if I found such a button. She has captivated, bewitched, and mesmerised me. I'm trapped under her spell. I am the one that is walking the night...
Then I recommend either a powerful witch or a salt water bath. Or both.
Sleepless, I'm dreaming eyes wide open... She is a witch, like actually a wiccan. I am the one that is walking the night...
Oh. Huh. And she's doing that sort of magic? Naughty, naughty. Manipulating people via magic is bad.
I tease. But that's pretty cool... unless she's actually spelling you, which is actually not cool at all but pretty bad.
EDIT: I realize that I said pretty cool... and I don't know why. Probably because I've not met that many other Wiccans...
SECRET: I'm not exactly the best practitioner of Wicca... I don't keep an eye on the calendar, I don't do the rituals, I don't celebrate most things, except maybe Yule. I tried for a while, but... things got harder when I moved. I need to get back into my stuff...
Sleepless, I'm dreaming eyes wide open...
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 2:46 pm
Miss Perfection Cannibal Horsey I know sweetie. You're the best. Sorry I missed you, didn't get you message till today and now its bed time. Yesterday was just not a good day. Its been one of those weeks
Don't worry sunshine. This week was always going to be tough. Hang in there <3
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 11:42 pm
My idea will either go well and get a positive response, or will lead to some major embarrassment and make me want to hide under a frakking rock.
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Posted: Sun Apr 07, 2013 3:47 pm
There is within me a positive, confident girl who likes to help people and see them smile for the sake of making others happy. Because I have held that persona for so long that it is a part of me somewhere, a tiny tiny tiny part maybe but its there. And I would dearly love to just go round killing off all the other horrible parts of me that makes me so insecure, and sad and scared right now.I wish I could be that person I project to the world. I wish I could be happy go lucky and confident but I'm not. I'm just scared. I'm scared of everything. So much that I can hardly cope right now. I just... I just don't want to do any of it anymore. I want the floor to open up and swallow me whole, and just be away from this and everything else. Just to exist without existing, so that nobody was made sad because I was gone.
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Posted: Tue Apr 09, 2013 11:45 pm
I feel guilty for feeling the way I do. I love him as a friend. I want him in my life as a friend. Whether I can one day I can be his boyfriend...his partner one day, I don't know. I'm just taking things one day at a time and I hope he knows that I want the pain to stop, for both of us. I just want to stop rationalizing what's happening.
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Posted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 6:27 pm
I'm done with love. It's never going to ******** come for me no matter what. I've been told to wait and wait and wait some more. I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of being told to stand by and watch as people take off on their own ships and sail to adventures on the sea of romance as I sit by on the sand with a stick drawing hearts that the waves just wash away. I try reaching out, but in the end, I just get ignored like I'm not even there. I sometimes wonder if I'm being punished because I tried to find happiness. I'm tired of all these mountains I need to leap just for the feeling of acceptance. To be loved because I'm me in a nonplatonic way. If any lovely ladies want what is left of my heart. Help yourself. I give up. I'm done...even though I know that's a frakking lie and sometime in the future I'll say I'm in love with another girl whom will not end up with me.
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Posted: Thu Apr 11, 2013 1:33 pm
epic-writer42 I'm done with love. It's never going to ******** come for me no matter what. I've been told to wait and wait and wait some more. I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of being told to stand by and watch as people take off on their own ships and sail to adventures on the sea of romance as I sit by on the sand with a stick drawing hearts that the waves just wash away. I try reaching out, but in the end, I just get ignored like I'm not even there. I sometimes wonder if I'm being punished because I tried to find happiness. I'm tired of all these mountains I need to leap just for the feeling of acceptance. To be loved because I'm me in a nonplatonic way. If any lovely ladies want what is left of my heart. Help yourself. I give up. I'm done...even though I know that's a frakking lie and sometime in the future I'll say I'm in love with another girl whom will not end up with me.
Now chin up, cheer up and move on. There are always bigger fish to fry
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Posted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 3:38 am
I am the one that is walking the night...
Highlight only if you want to find out what happens when Yoru is sexually frustrated...
WHAT IS IT WITH MY STRAIGHT FRIENDS SUDDENLY BECOMING ATTRACTIVE?! I MEAN SERIOUSLY GODDAMMIT, A LITTLE BIT OF A HAIRCUT AND HOLY s**t, LIKE, SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE ********?! YOU TURN FROM BEING "PRETTY" TO OMFG "WHY CAN I NOT DATE YOU Q.Q"
Sleepless, I'm dreaming eyes wide open...
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Posted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 5:47 pm
*Closes that horrible chapter of his life finally.*
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Posted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 1:06 pm
Well just ******** my life.
I am properly ignoring my doctor now, seriously ******** his advice. I'm going back on my ******** tablets because at least them I'm hormonally stable and therefore less insane
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Posted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 9:46 pm
Cannibal Horsey Well just ******** my life.
I am properly ignoring my doctor now, seriously ******** his advice. I'm going back on my ******** tablets because at least them I'm hormonally stable and therefore less insane I am the one that is walking the night...
*hugs* Do what you feel you need to do, Canni. I've had doctors give me crap advice before.
Sleepless, I'm dreaming eyes wide open...
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Posted: Mon Apr 15, 2013 6:32 am
Well, my period is officially a week late now. The good thing is that now I'm not gonna have it during my vacation, but it's still really weird. Usually I'm not even off by like a day. Am I really that stressed? Or can something else throw it all out of whack?
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Posted: Mon Apr 15, 2013 7:13 am
Yoru Kurosawa Cannibal Horsey Well just ******** my life.
I am properly ignoring my doctor now, seriously ******** his advice. I'm going back on my ******** tablets because at least them I'm hormonally stable and therefore less insane I am the one that is walking the night...
*hugs* Do what you feel you need to do, Canni. I've had doctors give me crap advice before.
Sleepless, I'm dreaming eyes wide open...
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Posted: Mon Apr 15, 2013 11:00 am
Cannibal Horsey Yoru Kurosawa Cannibal Horsey Well just ******** my life.
I am properly ignoring my doctor now, seriously ******** his advice. I'm going back on my ******** tablets because at least them I'm hormonally stable and therefore less insane I am the one that is walking the night...
*hugs* Do what you feel you need to do, Canni. I've had doctors give me crap advice before.
Sleepless, I'm dreaming eyes wide open... High, this violet scent...
^_^ Good.
I'm floating on air...
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Posted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 12:02 am
High, this violet scent...
Oh, bitterness. Why now? I don't want you, go away.
I'm floating on air...
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