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 Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 10:31 am
In all seriousness though:
When Sarah cheated on me I was heavily depressed, wouldn't even leave my house to go do groceries, I was falling way behind in my work. A total mess. Then a friend stopped by unannounced to check on me and "happened" to have a joint on him, after some convincing I smoked it with him. And honestly, I think if he hadn't come by that day and smoked with me I probably would have tried to "take the easy way out". I smoke once or twice a week now and it's keeping me level and positive minded.
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Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 11:47 pm
keito melfina I want to drop my MATLAB course... but the guilt and... oh well it's not a *severely required course* I feel the same way about my C++ class, bro. 'cept it's required for me. Wish I could have taken the MATLAB one instead cause I knew a bit of it already, but... yeah. I say keep going with it. It has possibility of becoming handy depending on what you decide to go into. And I get a rush of excitement/happiness when my code finally compiles (C++, not MATLAB) and it's ******** right. But then again, maybe I'm weird. sweatdrop
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Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 11:50 pm
Mickeymoot keito melfina I want to drop my MATLAB course... but the guilt and... oh well it's not a *severely required course* I feel the same way about my C++ class, bro. 'cept it's required for me. Wish I could have taken the MATLAB one instead cause I knew a bit of it already, but... yeah. I say keep going with it. It has possibility of becoming handy depending on what you decide to go into. And I get a rush of excitement/happiness when my code finally compiles (C++, not MATLAB) and it's ******** right. But then again, maybe I'm weird. sweatdrop I don't think there's many who get excited every time something does not work as intended. 
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Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 4:28 am
Gakre Mickeymoot keito melfina I want to drop my MATLAB course... but the guilt and... oh well it's not a *severely required course* I feel the same way about my C++ class, bro. 'cept it's required for me. Wish I could have taken the MATLAB one instead cause I knew a bit of it already, but... yeah. I say keep going with it. It has possibility of becoming handy depending on what you decide to go into. And I get a rush of excitement/happiness when my code finally compiles (C++, not MATLAB) and it's ******** right. But then again, maybe I'm weird. sweatdrop I don't think there's many who get excited every time something does not work as intended.
But yeah, I love programming when the program I write works, but I just get frustrated when I think it should be right but it isn't doing what I want it to do.
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Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 8:53 am
]Problems why do you chase me so?!would be what I would usually say but ohwell bahaha, I have to admit the moments when you suddenly realize that its time for you take that leap and no matter how dangerous or scary it is aslong as there is the possibility of a positive result its worth a shot.
Haven't posted here in a while and to anyone who reads this:
Hello!
Just one of those days
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Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 12:27 am
Can't sleep! Too excited! Counting down the hours.  
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Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 1:57 am
Ninja_Shy-Shy Can't sleep! Too excited! Counting down the hours. All 1478 hours?
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Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 7:11 am
Gakre Ninja_Shy-Shy Can't sleep! Too excited! Counting down the hours. All 1478 hours? More like 9. xd
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Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 10:41 am
Ninja_Shy-Shy Gakre Ninja_Shy-Shy Can't sleep! Too excited! Counting down the hours. All 1478 hours? More like 9. xd I see it's not the manga you're excited 'bout.
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Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 5:17 pm
I'm falling sooo hard for him that it scares me... But I've known him forever and I trust him and I know that he loves me and wants to be with me, so HOPEFULLY that means I won't get hurt again. Because I know if I'm constantly worrying about whether or not he'll leave me, I won't have any time to actually enjoy being with him. I just really hope I don't end up regretting this... *Jumps in 100%*
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Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 8:19 pm
Am I the only person on the planet that thinks the movie Rosemary's Baby is extremely boring and not creepy at all? I was disappointed.
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Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 10:18 pm
I had a dream that I posted here. (Odd, because I've only done so once in the past couple of years.) My dream self made a big show about choosing the right words...I actually remembered it verbatim when I woke up, but it's been hours since then, so here's a mostly-paraphrased version.
---------------
Sometimes I wish that someone, shortly after I fell asleep, would come in and -- wrongly -- post about my death. To validate their experience, they would first describe exactly what happened, and then [I can't figure out what I might have said after that]. Then, twelve hours later, I would wake up to see an outpouring of "oh, good, now we don't have to deal with her" "aww, that sucks". I wish this would happen because it would grant me two things: 1.) the amusement of posting in the thread and being all "umm...what?", and 2.) the chance to see people pretend to care...
Secret because...do I need to explain why this is a secret?
---------------
Weird...but sadly, I think it was one of those dreams that tell hidden truths. Because when I think about it, that would be both validating and morbidly funny (from my point of view).
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Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 4:54 am
I think I met the male version of myself. We're kinda stuck in a loop of "Wow this is awesome! s**t I just freaked you out didn't I? I'm sorry, please don't think I'm crazy."
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Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 8:05 am
I feel so alone. I'm sick to my stomach. I really hate myself for getting so easily depressed. Even now, I'm hiding in the restroom trying to get myself together, but it seems that I can't stop crying. Whenever I get down like this, I always let it spiral out of control. Positive self-talk never helps, as I can always find more negative things about myself than positive. "I'm doing okay in class." "You could do better, you're never good enough." "But I have my friends' support." "Does someone like you even deserve it? There are better people that go through more than you do, they have a real value - they're worth something, you are not." I understand I can't compare myself to other people. I'm me, not anyone else. But whatever failures I come across, I always have myself to blame for them.
And I'm sure to the few people I'm friends with in the zCB that may end up reading this - or anyone else, I'll end up just needlessly worrying them due to one simple emotional breakdown. I'm sorry for it.
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Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 3:11 pm
MewWhite I feel so alone. I'm sick to my stomach. I really hate myself for getting so easily depressed. Even now, I'm hiding in the restroom trying to get myself together, but it seems that I can't stop crying. Whenever I get down like this, I always let it spiral out of control. Positive self-talk never helps, as I can always find more negative things about myself than positive. "I'm doing okay in class." "You could do better, you're never good enough." "But I have my friends' support." "Does someone like you even deserve it? There are better people that go through more than you do, they have a real value - they're worth something, you are not." I understand I can't compare myself to other people. I'm me, not anyone else. But whatever failures I come across, I always have myself to blame for them.
And I'm sure to the few people I'm friends with in the zCB that may end up reading this - or anyone else, I'll end up just needlessly worrying them due to one simple emotional breakdown. I'm sorry for it.
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