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 Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 6:43 pm
epic-writer42 My cat is gone...he's gone cry ....and I'll never see him again. We had to put him down. Even though I knew it was for the best...still in my heart(which is now no more from this moment on.) I wanted this all to be a bad dream...something that I would wake up from and find that none of this had happened. The one thing I'll never forget is the last time I spoke to him, talking to him about what's about to happen, thinking like an idiot that would do any good, he stumbled on to my lap like he was aware of the situation, but I'm not an animal psychic so I don't know what he was thinking. cry crying cry gonk cry crying crying cry ...I don't know what to do. I'm so sorry to hear Just know that he knew you loved him, and he loved you, and be thankful you had the chance to say goodbye. <3 -big hugs-
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 7:00 pm
RANT TIME So many mixed up feelings right now, that should not be all in my system at once, and I can't stop it. Anger, lust (reading fanfic doesn't help this one redface ), anxiety, loneliness, hate, love, stress, paranoia, all for so many different reasons. Each one affecting the other and twisting my senses into knots. It's like I can feel each one fighting within me and I don't know how to stop it. Maybe, just maybe, in 38 days, I can be free. Maybe the worst school year of my life will be over, and I will be on the first step closer to happiness.
In other news, I do have something earlier to look forward. On the 7th, something that'll make me happy is going to happen. I don't know what it is, because Frank Iero is teasing all his fans about it, but nonetheless, I'm excited. EDIT: Also, I am currently reading this. Nothing wrong with that, right? http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=underwater_sky&keyword=The+Dove+Keeper&filter=allI REGRET NOTHING
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 8:05 pm
epic-writer42 My cat is gone...he's gone cry ....and I'll never see him again. We had to put him down. Even though I knew it was for the best...still in my heart(which is now no more from this moment on.) I wanted this all to be a bad dream...something that I would wake up from and find that none of this had happened. The one thing I'll never forget is the last time I spoke to him, talking to him about what's about to happen, thinking like an idiot that would do any good, he stumbled on to my lap like he was aware of the situation, but I'm not an animal psychic so I don't know what he was thinking. cry crying cry gonk cry crying crying cry ...I don't know what to do. :c I'm so sorry ./muchos hugssss <333
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 3:02 am
epic-writer42 My cat is gone...he's gone cry ....and I'll never see him again. We had to put him down. Even though I knew it was for the best...still in my heart(which is now no more from this moment on.) I wanted this all to be a bad dream...something that I would wake up from and find that none of this had happened. The one thing I'll never forget is the last time I spoke to him, talking to him about what's about to happen, thinking like an idiot that would do any good, he stumbled on to my lap like he was aware of the situation, but I'm not an animal psychic so I don't know what he was thinking. cry crying cry gonk cry crying crying cry ...I don't know what to do. :/ *hugs*
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 3:52 pm
Jedi Sasquatch I think I'm going to use this thread for its original intended purpose by actually sharing a secret that nobody else knows. It's time that I come to terms with the person I am and the person I want to be.
I am a man, and I want to be a woman.
Not sure why this is, but I'm guessing it has to do with my dad leaving the family and causing me to not have any father figure or male role model growing up, perhaps making me grow up overtime with the deep unconscious notion that women > men, or that femininity > masculinity.
But anyway,
I find I can relate to and connect with female characters far more than males. And when I try to imagine the person I want to be, I imagine a woman. A confident, intelligent, beautiful woman. I can't explain why, but I feel like I shouldn't be a man. I should be a woman.
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 10:29 am
Stayed up for 23 hours. Slept for one, because my dad just out of the blue decides to actually wake me up early today. WHY rolleyes
I don't feel that tired right now, but geez, I would still have liked to sleep.
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 11:05 am
He's dying. I've known for awhile but it's finally really hitting me.
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Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 3:13 pm
I must really be a great actor.
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Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 11:09 pm
 I am very confused. Part of me wants to be female. Part of me feels like I should be a woman. I feel like only women can be beautiful, and that I want to be beautiful. I feel like deep down I already am a woman and that I'd be more comfortable with my body if it matched my personality.
But another part of me feels like what I already am is what I should be. I know that people with gender identity disorder feel that their body is just wrong, even from a very young age. That isn't me. And I fear that I'm just being brash and that if I change myself and realize I was wrong I'll be stuck with a new body I'm uncomfortable with.
I don't know what I am and what I should be. I'm so confused.
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Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 3:39 am
Jedi Sasquatch I am very confused. Part of me wants to be female. Part of me feels like I should be a woman. I feel like only women can be beautiful, and that I want to be beautiful. I feel like deep down I already am a woman and that I'd be more comfortable with my body if it matched my personality.
But another part of me feels like what I already am is what I should be. I know that people with gender identity disorder feel that their body is just wrong, even from a very young age. That isn't me. And I fear that I'm just being brash and that if I change myself and realize I was wrong I'll be stuck with a new body I'm uncomfortable with.
I don't know what I am and what I should be. I'm so confused.
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Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 8:26 pm
I want to post stuff on facebook for people to see, but I don't want my parents to see. Just my friends, just to say an implied "******** you" and see if they care, or even acknowledge that I post something.
Also, I must be having a lot of issues lately, or they just all want to come out at the same time
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Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 9:17 pm
******** you moon...just ******** you.
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Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 8:21 am
Jedi Sasquatch I am very confused. Part of me wants to be female. Part of me feels like I should be a woman. I feel like only women can be beautiful, and that I want to be beautiful. I feel like deep down I already am a woman and that I'd be more comfortable with my body if it matched my personality.
But another part of me feels like what I already am is what I should be. I know that people with gender identity disorder feel that their body is just wrong, even from a very young age. That isn't me. And I fear that I'm just being brash and that if I change myself and realize I was wrong I'll be stuck with a new body I'm uncomfortable with.
I don't know what I am and what I should be. I'm so confused.
P.S - I'm only talking from experience from what I've come across. Just don't make any irrational decisions.
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Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 12:28 am
I just gave myself a new record in regards to procrastination, peer review day is supposed to be tomorrow and I haven't even started on the darn paper. It's a 10 page paper to. I never procrastinate this much, what is wrong with me this semester???? Fortunately the teacher is allowing me until finals week to finish the paper so here's to praying that it gets done! I also have a mini grant I have to write so yay for extra work... but it's for the sake of money and learning so that makes it ok.
Hope ya'll are doing well, dunno why I'm posting this here I guess to just actually post something since I'm usually lurking since I don't have much to say...
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