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 Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2012 4:58 am
This feels like a nightmare. Please let it be a nightmare.
I have never more felt like a living breathing piece of s**t.
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Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2012 9:04 am
Feeling like hell again. Was fine for the first 2 hours of my shift and then the second two were like hell on earth. I wish this would go away. The worst thing is the fact I can't rest the joints that hurt. I know its physically not possible. I need to breath. But god... it hurts, a lot.
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Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2012 11:37 pm
i hte myself so much that id ont think anyone cld ever really love me/,. if they say they are, theyr always lying/. awlways. they might cre,but in the nd they just want someone lesser t care abt ther existence;;' thers no other reson to care. nd lke a fool i do cre. .sometimes i thnk the world would be better if we were all mute blnd and deaf, or if i wasnn nethinng at all.
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Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2012 11:59 pm
catharsising i hte myself so much that id ont think anyone cld ever really love me/,. if they say they are, theyr always lying/. awlways. they might cre,but in the nd they just want someone lesser t care abt ther existence;;' thers no other reson to care. nd lke a fool i do cre. .sometimes i thnk the world would be better if we were all mute blnd and deaf, or if i wasnn nethinng at all. 0110100100100000011001000110111101101110011101000010000001110111011000010110111001110100001000000111010001101111001000000110011001100101011001010110110000100000011011110111001000100000011010000110111101110000011001010010000001100101011101100110010101110010001000000110000101100111011000010110100101101110000011010000101001101001011101000010000001110111011011110111010101101100011001000111011001100101001000000110001001100101011001010110111000100000011100110110111100100000011011010111010101100011011010000010000001100101011000010111001101101001011001010111001000100000011101000110111100100000011001100110010101100101011011000010000001110101011011100110100001100001011100000111000001111001001000000110100101100110001000000110100101100100001000000110111001100101011101100110010101110010001000000111010001100001011100110111010001100101011001000010000001101000011000010111000001110000011010010110111001100101011100110111001100100000011010010110111000100000011101000110100001100101001000000110011001101001011100100111001101110100001000000111000001101100011000010110001101100101000011010000101001101001001000000111010001101000011011110111010101100111011010000111010000100000011010010010000001110111011000010111001100100000011010010110111000100000011011000110111101110110011001010010000001110111011010010111010001101000001000000110000101101110001000000110100101100100011001010110000100111011001000000110100100100000011101110110000101110011001000000111001001101001011001110110100001110100 Now don't say that, it's true there are some people out there that just want someone else lesser than them that care about them, but not everyone is like that. There are some people out who really do care, you just need to find them. I'll also admit that pain hurts and sometimes you just don't know what to do. But giving in is never the answer, no matter how many times life knocks you down, you have to get back up and try again.
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Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2012 7:11 am
How the ******** do people cope with long term illness? I've been like this for 4 months and its already driving me mad. How can people cope? I suppose if you didn't know anything else then it makes sense, but how the hell most people don't go crazy I dunno. I just want it to go the ******** away. The worst thing is there isn't much I can do to help get over it. I can't rest the joints, I can't not hunch over doing my exams, I can't just lie in bed all day using none of the muscle that might bother it.
Sitting in my comfy position hurts to. The rest of me is comfy but my ribs that end up leaning on the sofa are screaming out at me.... this isn't helping my study at all. All I want is a ******** cuddle and some serious painkillers. But I can't get that. If this isn't gone by after exams I'm going back to the doctor... again and complaining more. I don't want to have to get physio (I really don't have the time) or ultrasound treatment (sounds icky) or acupuncture (I want to be given a good reason for needles sticking in me other than some weird energy flow thing or whatever) or god forbid a chest x-ray (doctor didn't really want to do that though).
Grumbles. Can't get proper cuddles either cause they squish my ribs and it hurts. Why now???? Why couldn't this have happened when I was on holiday from uni and unemployed like last Easter? Why now? Over christmas and new year and that when I have a job, uni, and exams?!
*le sigh*
Also to everyone who is getting annoyed of me bitching about this, tough. You don't need to read it. This saves me from pissing off the people in my life who I actually have to deal with face to face on a regular basis. Except my boyfriend. Who gets to watch me sit grumpily on the coach in pain most evenings now.
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Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2012 8:00 am
epic-writer42 Now don't say that, it's true there are some people out there that just want someone else lesser than them that care about them, but not everyone is like that. There are some people out who really do care, you just need to find them. I'll also admit that pain hurts and sometimes you just don't know what to do. But giving in is never the answer, no matter how many times life knocks you down, you have to get back up and try again. no. im not tryi again jjust to amuse somene ese.
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Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2012 9:20 am
********, I'm stuck. I can't move my chest forward to stand up or move my legs to my comfy position due to pain.... fml.
Gonna have to wait till boyfriend gets home so he can fetch painkillers. emo
Also, laughing at this fact hurts even more. God damn it! I feel like some sort of invalid.
EDIT: great and now my boyfriend is being an arsehole about the fact i need to use the laptop to revise and crying hurts a lot as well. Maybe I should just go home....
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Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2012 9:38 am
catharsising epic-writer42 Now don't say that, it's true there are some people out there that just want someone else lesser than them that care about them, but not everyone is like that. There are some people out who really do care, you just need to find them. I'll also admit that pain hurts and sometimes you just don't know what to do. But giving in is never the answer, no matter how many times life knocks you down, you have to get back up and try again. no. im not tryi again jjust to amuse somene ese. Then don't do it to amuse them, if they try using you, drop them like a bad habit and reverse the roles.
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Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2012 9:45 am
Ok ******** that asshat. I hurt like hell and he decides to turn round and be a complete arsehole to me. Fine. I'm writing up the rest of this chapter and then I'm going home. ******** tosser
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Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2012 12:03 pm
Jer0nim0 This feels like a nightmare. Please let it be a nightmare. I have never more felt like a living breathing piece of s**t. *hugs* I miss Tasn and peoples
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Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2012 8:23 pm
The number of paper cuts I've had this past week is ridiculous. Not only do my fingers have 10 cuts on them, I now have on in the middle of my palm. Yayyyyy.
I'm ahead in psych, behind in math, behind in art, behind on eng. I'll never sleep nor get online again. x----------x
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Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2012 7:13 am
I'm actually in a good mood for the first time in a long time. I don't even know why, but I hope it lasts <3
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Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2012 7:59 am
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Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2012 1:32 pm
I went from crushing like a 12 year old to friendzoning myself. God damn it. I want the annoying giggling to come back.
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Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2012 10:55 am
I think my brain is genuinely melting
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