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 Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 3:48 pm
My best friend and my younger sister are both having boy problems and in both cases asking me (who has NO experience with boys...) for advise. In the case of my friend it's only complicated sine she wants everyone to be happy and unsure what she wants in terms of a relationship starting or not. In the case of my sister she's worried because the guy doesn't know how old she is, and right now they are just friends but I'm fairly certain he likes her and I think she likes him as well.... I don't think the age difference matters that much but she worried about it I think.
And apparently my a friend of my friend is obsessed with me, and I'm unsure what to think of that with meanwhile my own situation is going slowly with me just talking to the guy to decide wether I want to try to be more then friends, while not even knowing if he's single or not... sheesh. My life is a drama when explained this way! Too many boy problems that aren't really problems, but are disguised as problems. :/
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Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 6:23 pm
You talk to me, of sacrifice? Me? allow me to remind you it was I who gave more than enough for everything that has happened. i gave everything I had for everyone but myself! You try to tell me of sacrifice? Who was it that stepped out and pushed you out of the way of the car? Who got up afterwards and made sure you were ok before worrying of them self? I gave up the woman I loved to a self-serving p***k who only wants to use her! You come to me and tell me of sacrifice? I gave more than you could ever imagine and have lost more than you could comprehend. The pain i feel everyday while biting my tongue and stepping out of the way to take the beatings for others is nothing that you feel. i sacrifice my freedom for others to be happy by showing up whenever they need me. I'm not somebody to take lightly, because it is no longer about myself. I care for others and put them before me. don't speak to me of your self righteous sacrifice bull, you know nothing.
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Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 7:36 pm
My world has once again been colored a menagerie of grays. I very well know that I have the sole ability to change that, somehow I can't find the good old epic spirit to do so. I just can't seem to find that oomph and motivation to change my world to better fit me.
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Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 3:00 pm
The depression has been going from bad to worse lately, and I've run out of things I've been interested in that helps curb it.
And on a side note, I just killed a spider that was maybe 1 1/2 - 2 inches big? I was hungry before, but now I just feel sick. Damn spiders.
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Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 11:28 pm
I've been frantic for a box of rubber bands since the day after my birthday back in September. Sheer will alone isn't doing it for me anymore. I feel numb and the more I think, the more I want to tear into my arms with something sharp. I don't really feel anger anymore. At least not the anger I usually feel towards the holiday season. I want to cry, but it's a moot point. Instead I've gotten into the habit of gripping a pink rosary my mother had given me a few years back. I don't pray, I just grip it. Hoping to get some kind of solace, some kind of relief. But there's nothing.
I went out drinking on the 26th and as much as I wanted to drown my sorrows in alcohol I couldn't and I wouldn't. That's not my poison of choice. I watched as my best friend drank herself into a stupor and it reminded me that I prefer to feel pain rather than to numb myself and forget. I'm not a masochist. I get no joy or thrill from being in pain, I can't figure out how to like myself. How to make myself happy. It's a concept that escapes and frustrates me. They say you can't truly love someone else, unless you love yourself. Well, it looks like I'm going to spend this life alone. If that's the case, I hope it's a short life.
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Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2011 7:34 pm
Silent Sympathy I've been frantic for a box of rubber bands since the day after my birthday back in September. Sheer will alone isn't doing it for me anymore. I feel numb and the more I think, the more I want to tear into my arms with something sharp. I don't really feel anger anymore. At least not the anger I usually feel towards the holiday season. I want to cry, but it's a moot point. Instead I've gotten into the habit of gripping a pink rosary my mother had given me a few years back. I don't pray, I just grip it. Hoping to get some kind of solace, some kind of relief. But there's nothing.
I went out drinking on the 26th and as much as I wanted to drown my sorrows in alcohol I couldn't and I wouldn't. That's not my poison of choice. I watched as my best friend drank herself into a stupor and it reminded me that I prefer to feel pain rather than to numb myself and forget. I'm not a masochist. I get no joy or thrill from being in pain, I can't figure out how to like myself. How to make myself happy. It's a concept that escapes and frustrates me. They say you can't truly love someone else, unless you love yourself. Well, it looks like I'm going to spend this life alone. If that's the case, I hope it's a short life.
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Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2011 8:21 pm
I would personally love to have some special gauge like an epic guage...don't know what it do, but it's aesthetically pleasing.
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 1:33 am
There's not much anyone can do. But thank you anyway. <3
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 4:14 am
gklfkgl;kg I'm so frustrateddd
I'm trying to make this thing that has to do with my Christmas gift to my mom, and I can't get it to look nice. And I have this stupid project that's due on my birthday (which means I have less than a week to do it), and I keep thinking I should work on that instead but I wanna get this done and kgj;klfjgkgk Maybe I should take my brother up on his offer to do it for me >.<
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 1:25 pm
Silent Sympathy There's not much anyone can do. But thank you anyway. <3
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 1:54 pm
I'm sure. I think it boils down to self-esteem and the fact that I don't like to be/feel alone. And there isn't really anything anyone can do about that.
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 6:44 pm
Silent Sympathy I'm sure. I think it boils down to self-esteem and the fact that I don't like to be/feel alone. And there isn't really anything anyone can do about that.
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:55 pm
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 11:38 pm
D: W-well... If it means anything, I'd totally go out with you if I could.
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