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 Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 5:03 pm
I feel like I'm going wild.
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Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 8:19 pm
So. I went to a thing about paranormal investigators at the library, which had already made me a bit jumpy. Which led to ghost stories. Which led to my sister telling me about ghosts/voices that show up in a hall I have to be in tomorrow even if there are people in the surrounding rooms. And I'm usually the first person to the room needed and sometimes have to wait in said hall alone due to things like locked doors until someone else shows up. Now I'm freaked, but still want to go to the club that meets there. Tomorrow. Why couldn't this be, say, earlier in the week?
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Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 8:27 pm
Jennivieve So. I went to a thing about paranormal investigators at the library, which had already made me a bit jumpy. Which led to ghost stories. Which led to my sister telling me about ghosts/voices that show up in a hall I have to be in tomorrow even if there are people in the surrounding rooms. And I'm usually the first person to the room needed and sometimes have to wait in said hall alone due to things like locked doors until someone else shows up. Now I'm freaked, but still want to go to the club that meets there. Tomorrow. Why couldn't this be, say, earlier in the week? Don't worry, ghosts need a lot of energy to even be heard...let alone seen/sensed or felt.
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Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 10:00 pm
epic-writer42 Jennivieve So. I went to a thing about paranormal investigators at the library, which had already made me a bit jumpy. Which led to ghost stories. Which led to my sister telling me about ghosts/voices that show up in a hall I have to be in tomorrow even if there are people in the surrounding rooms. And I'm usually the first person to the room needed and sometimes have to wait in said hall alone due to things like locked doors until someone else shows up. Now I'm freaked, but still want to go to the club that meets there. Tomorrow. Why couldn't this be, say, earlier in the week? Don't worry, ghosts need a lot of energy to even be heard...let alone seen/sensed or felt. Yes, but these ghosties have done all of the above. My sister has had encounters with them, including a malevolent one. Luckily, she's more sensitive to this stuff than I am.
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Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 10:30 pm
Little Miss Fortune It's so hard to wake up on Fridays knowing how shitty my day is going to be. Every day is hard as it is, but Fridays are ******** terrible. I still have a couple hours left of today, but I'm already dreading tomorrow.
At least during the summer, my biggest obstacle was just getting out of bed in the morning. Getting out of bed is still hard, but nowadays I have so much other shittiness in store after I wake up. I have nothing to look forward to anymore. Why do I even bother fighting so hard to get through each day when there's no ******** point anyway?I feel suicidal, and I need help. There is a point. If you think there is no point then make one up, try to think that what you're doing is worth something. Whenever I get in moods like that in which I just dread the day ahead I try and just fake being happy about the day, and sometimes it actually works and I think I'm happy that day. You seem to have more obstacles to over come then myself, but I dunno maybe it would work for you. If you've already tried that and it didn't work, then try something else. I honestly think that the worst thing you can do to yourself is be miserable, as humans there's always the option to change. If you really are as miserable at your job as you keep saying then maybe it'd be best to quit. In my opinion it's better to have no job then have one that makes you miserable. Really at first it might seem worse to have no job, and have to find a new one but if by chance you like your new job then it'd all be worth it in the end, right?
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Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 11:57 pm
Really unhappy with my latest post. I think I might suck at writing.
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Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 3:56 am
Jikoniau Little Miss Fortune It's so hard to wake up on Fridays knowing how shitty my day is going to be. Every day is hard as it is, but Fridays are ******** terrible. I still have a couple hours left of today, but I'm already dreading tomorrow.
At least during the summer, my biggest obstacle was just getting out of bed in the morning. Getting out of bed is still hard, but nowadays I have so much other shittiness in store after I wake up. I have nothing to look forward to anymore. Why do I even bother fighting so hard to get through each day when there's no ******** point anyway?I feel suicidal, and I need help. There is a point. If you think there is no point then make one up, try to think that what you're doing is worth something. Whenever I get in moods like that in which I just dread the day ahead I try and just fake being happy about the day, and sometimes it actually works and I think I'm happy that day. You seem to have more obstacles to over come then myself, but I dunno maybe it would work for you. If you've already tried that and it didn't work, then try something else. I honestly think that the worst thing you can do to yourself is be miserable, as humans there's always the option to change. If you really are as miserable at your job as you keep saying then maybe it'd be best to quit. In my opinion it's better to have no job then have one that makes you miserable. Really at first it might seem worse to have no job, and have to find a new one but if by chance you like your new job then it'd all be worth it in the end, right?
The whole "fake it 'til you make it" kind of attitude about happiness has actually worked for me sometimes. But nothing bad even happened yesterday and all of a sudden I got slapped in the face by all those shitty feelings out of nowhere crying
I'd love to quit, but only if it turns out that they're never gonna let me go back to my old hours, and I don't really know yet =/
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Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 2:25 pm
I'm so tired. So very tired. Today's Friday, apparently. Could've sworn that was yesterday, but whatever. I've been having trouble sleeping all week. It's mostly just on and off sleeping, but I've been woken up a bunch of times, too, from bad dreams, or someone bothering me with the pup or with their screaming at 5:55 in the morning.
Today was fun~ Slept from 2am-7am, except I woke up a bunch of times before my alarm went off. I worked from 8am-12pm, so that wasn't too bad. I work in a pet store, and we get animals in on Fridays, so I was there early to feed everyone. I did the small animals (Guinea pigs, rats, hamsters/gerbils and mice) well. The ferrets were fine, too. There are three in the cage, and I found out which one bites, and which one likes to get on top of the water bottle to escape. Turns out, the same ferret likes to jump and claw at you when you stick your hand in its' cage. The third ferret's cool, and doesn't bother people. I like him a lot.
The reptiles, I have more trouble with. We have geckos, hermit crabs, frogs, snakes, lizards and a tarantula. I dislike snakes and the tarantula the most outta the bunch. I fed almost everyone alright. I didn't feed the ball pythons, but I still had to give them water. I went to the room where they were kept, and walked into a spider web, and found the spider on my hand. Not fun. One of the pythons was in the water dish, so I stuck my hand in there with a cup of water, and started to refill it when the snake lunged at me. Scared me to death, and was not happy.
Other than that, the last thing I had to feed was the cockatiels and parakeets, which are super easy. You just go in, give them fresh food, water and millets, and that's it. I stocked shelves for the rest of my shift before I walked home. ...But man, it's 5:25pm now. I want to go to sleep so badly.
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Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 6:05 pm
My brother's fraternity is organizing an event in conjunction with To Write Love On Her Arms. Today I went over to help, which meant taking pictures of me looking depressed and insecure for posters and pamphlets.
As it turns out, apparently I make a really good model for suicide awareness photos. Who knew?
Here's how it generally went: I would stand in front of the photographer while the group is talking about whatever, then I'd cross my arms and look away habitually and she'd say "Oh my god, Justin, that's perfect! Don't move." Then I'd stay still in that position and she'd take pictures.
Apparently I just look really insecure all the time.
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Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 6:38 pm
I always try to be content and grateful for what I have instead of focusing on what I don't. But my grandpa is dying. My best friends are all caught up in their own stuff and the only one I can actually talk to about this lives in ******** Indiana and who I can't see until the end of December and everyday I'm questioning if I can handle a LDR. I finally decided what I want for a career, which requires a friggin doctorate degree and I seriously have to question "Am I healthy enough for this?" I'm losing function of my right hand. This last week it ******** hurt to use my thumb. I actually qualify for SSI disability. While that's great because my doctors and meds are ******** expensive, I can't believe I'm actually that sick. All the patients will my disease had a career and had to give it up, I seriously wonder if I can do the reverse.
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Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 7:55 pm
"You morbid little s**t. What the ******** is wrong with you, you emo child."
...
I have the most awesome sister ever. xDDDD <3 I need to use this somewhere.
EDIT: OHGODWHATDIDIJUSTDO.
I hate that my teacher's blog's responses are viewable for everyone. ;u; I just took up like a page of response with about 1/3 of it about a group I like. akldfjalkjsdfk;dfjklasjdf;
...
I wonder how many people are going to check the songs I listed. >,> Probably none, but that second song...
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2011 8:43 pm
A world of echoes and fallen gods...
Just because I find Asians attractive in general doesn't mean I find them ALL attractive. Telling me there is an Asian guy in a movie I am absolutely NOT interested in watching is not going to convince me. It only makes you sound obnoxious.
Where all is shadowed, no rights or wrongs...
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2011 9:05 pm
Jedi Sasquatch My brother's fraternity is organizing an event in conjunction with To Write Love On Her Arms. Today I went over to help, which meant taking pictures of me looking depressed and insecure for posters and pamphlets. As it turns out, apparently I make a really good model for suicide awareness photos. Who knew? Here's how it generally went: I would stand in front of the photographer while the group is talking about whatever, then I'd cross my arms and look away habitually and she'd say "Oh my god, Justin, that's perfect! Don't move." Then I'd stay still in that position and she'd take pictures. Apparently I just look really insecure all the time. Better than how I look. I apparently sound and look hostile and angry.
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2011 9:21 pm
A world of echoes and fallen gods...
And Jesus ******** Christ, I did not slam the ******** door.
Where all is shadowed, no rights or wrongs...
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2011 10:27 pm
A world of echoes and fallen gods...
Three in one night! Awwww, HELL YES, my NIGHT SUCKS!
Either you're a dumbass, or you're an a*****e. Take your pick. I'm not feeling charitable.
Where all is shadowed, no rights or wrongs...
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