|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 11:53 am
Dag, if by any means this is slightly my fault, I apologize. D=
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 12:12 pm
Dagoth it was never meant like that... please please please answer your phone so I can TALK to you instead of trying to explain myself over the net which never works...
You have ALWAYS been worthy of the name and if you feel you arent, its ME who failed. PLEASE talk to me....
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 1:11 pm
I'll just say what I can here and be done with it.
Once upon a time there was a girl blessed with FOUR things in her life she knew were stable and steady. Corbin, Dagoth, Iden and Bard. These four got her through a whole ******** load of emotional baggage a mile wide over 5 years or more.
Only one of those four ever really knew JUST what to do to help her. A fine upstanding and caring man I knew as Dagoth, and will ALWAYS know as such, knew just when I needed a cuddle, just when I needed a kind word... and just when I needed to be told to shut up and THINK before I did something rash. He understood that the big bad b***h was really a tiny meek and frightened girl who didnt cope well with real life or people and he understood how easy she got embarassed in real life and how to avoid making her uncomfortable.
I shared many wonderful times with him. It was my absolute HONOUR to share my chosen name and a clan crest with this man. And as time went on... I no longer wanted to keep being a drain to him. Especially with his new woman who would be so much better for his stability than I would.
And so I made a choice Dagoth. A choice I applied not ONLY to you but to all my close friends. I STOPPED sharing my problems. I didnt mention Ive been back to the doctors about my breasts again. I didnt mention I had to have a cervical smear test for MORE than just a routine check up, or that the nurse will likely want me to have a SECOND one because of my breast issues, which I havent even told my family. Bard will kill me when he reads this. I didnt mention about the fact my works ills have gotten worse, or that my skin is worse than most people know or that I havent slept a full night for MONTHS. I didnt want to burden anyone.
And stupidly, when people started trying to talk to ME, I hid behind smiles and non commital answers to keep my own problems out of the lime light... and didnt realise SOME people... were trying to tell me theirs.
So yes, I DIDNT realise you were trying to confide in me Dagoth. I didnt realise you needed MY support in the months just gone. You have a lovely girlfriend and future house mate. One I knew would support you in all ways. I knew something bad had happened, you had lost someone, but I had it in my head you didnt want to talk to me about it. The last time I spoke to you on the topic... you told me you were ok and moving on and I STUPIDLY took that at face value and didnt check one of my oldest and best friends WAS really ok.
I knew you were in a post slump. I assumed it was to do with what was going on in your life. I didnt realise it was because you felt what was happening on Gaia wasnt important. You're wrong. If you remember, it was almost one YEAR ago I started plotting this scenario. I planned out exactly who was to be in it, gave it more attention and thought than I ever did for Corbins...
Due to the fact you didnt want to post, I didnt mind indulging others who wanted rp. I never meant you to therefore feel even LESS inclined to post thinking I couldnt be bothered with you.
I never meant not to reply to you in earnest on WoW. Its not my comfort zone. Its something and a place you know FAR better than me and I am not ashamed to admit I feel cowed in your presence on Azeroth. Also, I run it windowed mode, so Im as harrassed while on there as I ever am when doing anything ELSE. Thats not to excuse me not paying attention or not seeing you needed me, but it IS the reason why I again hid behind fake smiles and half answers, trying to hide my own issues.
I shoudndt have made the choice not to drag others down. Even without my problems, Ive still pulled you into the dirt thinking I didnt care about YOU, when it was quite the opposite. I MEANT it when I asked to come and see you. I MEANT it when I told you I was happy for your choice to emmigrate and SORROWFUL I wouldnt live close to you any longer. My plea that you and I would still see each other even after our moves was genuine, my sadness real.
You are the greatest friend and support I ever had. If you are upset, the fault is ALL mine. You deserve the name more than I, the friends more than I. I have screwed up more than I ever knew. Im not going to pretend I can just make it all ok again, but I DO wish for us to be at least talking again. Once, I knew if anything was wrong, I could always go to you. by NOT doing so, Ive lost you. And its like losing half my soul. The mark on my back will become a bitter joke and I will NEVER forgive myself for driving you away.
You once told me I'd never walk alone. I wish I had done what I had to to keep that saying true.
Thank you for calling me Dagoth. I leave the above in place as testament that I MEANT what I said on the phone.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 2:13 pm
301 448 8871
Call me if you need to.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 8:26 am
Ladies and Gentlemen, it is done!  Nummy Nazi candy. Didnt ape Corbin;s pic in ANY way. No sir. Not me. twisted And it CERTAINLY isnt part of my new desktop. Nu-uh.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 10:58 am
hahahahahaha ive been working for MOD for 3 weeks and today found out that i have inadvertantly exposed them to a worm virus that has so far taken out 14 laptops 82 terminals 13 own use machines hahaha im not being pulled in for anything but they did a massive server reboot taking out 33 sites and we were told to keep it secret.... aw s**t so much for that mwuahahahahaha
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 11:47 am
Epic ******** LAWLS man.
Wish my place had that much fun, we had a power cut in the late summer but thats about it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:55 pm
s**t. Thankfully they're not pissed at you.
I had....just last week someone call and threaten to shoot me and everyone in my store. Not really as awesome for lulz.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:35 pm
Sneak peak at what Im working on now: 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2009 3:26 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Corbin DeSeer Vice Captain
|
Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2009 10:42 pm
I was in Sydney this weekend, and while traversing the harbour, discovered an old decomissioned Sub, and a Destroyer that you could tour. Prepare for lawls on the Destroyer.  Who wants tickets to the Gunshow? xD   Thats right I s**t you not, The H.M.A.S. VAMPIRE. ...... And no Roan, there were no giant swastickas on the front deck painted in blood, nor lanky Germans with parasols..... Unfortunately.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 4:24 am
FAIL Corbin xd
I still want a tank.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 9:28 am
I demand a tank under the "mentally handicapped" rule.
Though one of those destroyer deck guns would work just as well...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 10:42 pm
Coooorbin.... you should get your arse online...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 10:49 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
