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 Posted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 5:48 pm
My brain is now filled completely with utterly dirty thoughts....all the while I'm giggling like a prepubescent monkey...Dear god someone put me out of my misery.
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Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 6:03 am
._. I forgot how ill-tempered he could be. Poor kid.
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Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 8:24 am
I get so annoyed lately and upset over the smallest things.
Emotionally, I've had a horrible past few weeks. Wait. So has everyone else.*^1
I honestly appreciate hellos and goodbyes. On the other hand, if one or both is missed, it might set me off. Mainly goodbyes.
I am really starting to hate some aspects of my life. Mainly the "friendless" part.
I don't talk to any "real life/offline" friends anymore, and haven't since last summer. While upset, I once ranted to a friend of mine about it and he got upset on my use of the "real life" term, since he puts his friends on the same level if he knows them well.
My family didn't even know I talked to people on the internet and "established relationships" until maybe a year ago. Dad doesn't think internet relationships can go any farther than acquaintances/friends.
Honestly? Online and offline friends are not the same.
I'm not putting down any of my online friendships at all. I'm actually surprised I have any friends, as I'm a horrible person. I do mean that, just not all of the time.
Speaking of my online friends, I haven't really talked to anyone*^2 in a week. I'm stubborn. I hate starting conversations first because if they don't, I feel like they don't want to talk to me. So guess what? I don't. I'll usually crack at some point and say something. However, when that happens, I will always be upset and struggling not to say anything about it.
Concerning both offline and online friends. "Go out and meet some people.", there isn't much to do in the area I live in. Besides, I'm very shy. Online? If you swear or are obnoxious and self centered I won't want to talk to you. A lot of people are very nice, I understand that. As bad as it sounds, it just takes too long to be good friends with someone, and it is very hard to put out an effort.
I've been working as a cashier, my first job, for around 2 months now. Despite sometimes having a few hours free, it feels like I don't have nearly that much before I work again. I can't help but feel I'm lucky, since people talk about how hard it is or was to get a job and how they've been looking for months. I got my job 20 minutes after I went to the very first store.
I hate swearing, but I swear in my head*^3. I hate swearing, but I watch CH, they don't censor most of the new videos.
Do you honestly need to swear to get your point across? I can't have censors on Skype like I can on Gaia. One of the reasons I don't talk in the z!CB chat I'm in.
It upsets me the most when someone close to me swears or uses inappropriate language. For example, people use the term "b***h" so often, I don't even want to see it used in its correct context.
There. Their. They're. It's. Its.
1^*That's what a lot of people tell me when I talk about why I'm upset. Do you honestly think I want to hear that I'm like everyone else?
2^*People I really like to talk to; People I know well; People I talk to all the time
3^*Sub mind, if that makes sense. I'll know that I'm thinking of the word without actually thinking the word.
What's up with all the vague/cryptic secrets?
And, of course, all of this is in my head. I don't have it nearly as bad as people who are mentally harassed by their family, beaten, in bad predicaments, or the like.
I'm starting college in one week. I probably won't have any time to talk to anyone. I probably won't make any new friends. My life will probably suck even more emotionally.
I should probably spend more time on this post.
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Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 4:29 pm
Weeewwwt, experiencing state of emergency for first time in my life. =_=
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Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 6:28 pm
I've been mentally putting the "u" in colours/colors all day, even though I was raised with the latter spelling. Something about how it's pronounced, I think.
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Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 3:36 pm
I miss you too. Please feel better... *gives hugs and loves while you sleep*
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Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 3:32 pm
I get very fired up when discussing my Alg 2 math teacher. Two years of college, over 40 credits, all As and Bs and that ONE DAMN "C"! If it were my fault, I'd be okay with that. But I was in the 15% who actually passed that class! scream
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Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2011 2:25 am
*Comes online while dealing with a horrible gut ache only to see the piehard ********.
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Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2011 7:43 am
I'm starting to wonder whether I even deserve to be treated right. I mean, Alex was sooo sweet for the longest time and even Christopher was somewhat nice to me in the beginning, but it seems like I always end up being treated like s**t in the end. I'm starting to think that maybe it's something I'm doing. What if I never find someone who will actually treat me right for more than a year or two because I don't deserve to be treated nicely...? =(
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Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2011 11:10 am
x.x today's just not a good day.
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Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 11:08 am
Nature lovers these days don't seem to understand that death is just as much a part of nature as life is and that in order for something to live, the life of something else must be taken. Even plants are guilty for this for overtime all that die return to earth and become a part of the soil formation which provides nutrients to plants.
Cruel is not a word known by nature, but is an invention of us humans who have the hubris to declare the right to state what is what in this world.
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Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 1:30 pm
epic-writer42 Nature lovers these days don't seem to understand that death is just as much a part of nature as life is and that in order for something to live, the life of something else must be taken. Even plants are guilty for this for overtime all that die return to earth and become a part of the soil formation which provides nutrients to plants. Cruel is not a word known by nature, but is an invention of us humans who have the hubris to declare the right to state what is what in this world.
That's deeep
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Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 2:53 pm
So apparently I can sing while playing drums.
And according to my brother and his friends, I'm quite good at it.
Awesome.
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Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 3:04 pm
Little Miss Fortune epic-writer42 Nature lovers these days don't seem to understand that death is just as much a part of nature as life is and that in order for something to live, the life of something else must be taken. Even plants are guilty for this for overtime all that die return to earth and become a part of the soil formation which provides nutrients to plants. Cruel is not a word known by nature, but is an invention of us humans who have the hubris to declare the right to state what is what in this world.
That's deeepWell someone has to speak up and be the voice of reason.
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