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I really need to figure out how to read people better... I really like this guy and with the way he acts with me I think it's possible he likes me as well. But I'm so unsure of my own thoughts that I don't know, I keep thinking that I'm just seeing what I want to see. If that is so then he could have just acting like a friend, or he could really like me. But I can't tell, and it's frustrating. And now I'm rambling (/yells in frustration).

I feel a need to talk to someone that could explain to me how to read guys, my friend seems to understand them really well. I guess I'll talk to her about this when I get the chance. The fact that I'm so awkward when talking about these things doesn't help matters much... hopefully I can talk to her about it though, 'cause I think she might be able to help me to tell if he likes me or not. She's the same person I talked to when I liked that guy in Japan, that was a bit different though, I never intended to tell him 'cause it would've been hard for that to work out living in different countries and all that. But this guy lives in the same state as me, and is in my class. Much better chances of a relationship actually working if it's started in the first place anywho.

I honestly have no idea if what I just wrote makes any sense... I'm too tired gonk

(Note: This is just a mule account, not just some random person posting.)

Ugh, in same situation. Except this is a person I really should not even consider being in a relationship with.

A third person that can converse with the person you like is always a good idea, I think.

I really seem to find myself sitting and feeling alone in this little mess
I have no idea
It doesnt involve yet I ve been flung right in the middle of the blooming warzone I like rabbit in a mine field with opposing sides firing all sorts of objects at each other

so far its like O.O I just have no idea
why did I have to pick him up?
Just what the ******** is going? My head is just soo...
I want to hug something and feel less alone and cry(I can be crying and no one will ever know because I have no tears heh)
I wish My dog could give me a hug but all he thinks about is food

ooooo haven't slept or eaten properly in a while Im not sure
I m starting to feel like I nolonger matter and I m just a pawn with no color being in some sick game between two people who utterly hate each other

the answers and results are simple yet they just wish to cause soo much pain
and neither of them are taking the hit or the freaking pain its me its all being fired at


I might aswell be in a room with two complete lunatics in some crazy asylum

Work is evil... so is facebook... I WILL ADD YOU ALL IF IT KILLS ME! *twitches*

I need a drink.

I am a fool.

This is not adrenaline I'm feeling. This is a collision of recent events with stress. I cannot handle it. I cannot think clearly. I have less than two hours to type out a coherent paper and then seven hours to type out the rest of my journals.

Plenty of time, plenty of time! Ahahaha!

I'm losing it. I want to cry. I'm not well. I'm not well at all.

And worst of all, I'm hopelessly distracted by an...infatuation during this time of excess vulnerability.

Don't mind me if I ramble. I need to something. Say something. Say anything before I let this completely crush me from the inside.

My concerns are petty, paltry compared to some and I feel intense disgust for even expressing them. There are people out there who are more deserving of sympathy and support.

I am a foolish, lazy, two-faced liar who has convinced herself that she is superior, she is above flaws until she looks at the mirror. The mirror reflects everything that Dorian saw when he lifted that sheet that covered his enchanted portrait.

I am not deserving of a single drop of pity at the moment. I procrastinated and I will reap what I sow. If my grade suffers for it--so be it!

I am typing all of this so quickly that I scarcely recall to breathe. Without the calming effects of the bitterest of teas or the soothing warmth that comes with brandy, I cannot be calm. I cannot even focus. I'm repeating myself now and I wish I wasn't.

But one cannot take back what they've done or what they feel. One can only go forward.

That is all.

Carry on.

Excuse me while I attempt to write a ten-page paper in less than two hours. Hopefully I won't make too many grammatical mistakes.