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 Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 2:04 pm
That one night epic-writer42 Midnight_Euphomy epic-writer42 Opened a book of "Secrets" I got from think geek...I just happened to open it on the page about the "Secret to attracting beautiful women." Wow, even this books admits I have problems. xd Might I borrow that after you perhaps? It's 5.99 plus shipping on think geek. ninja Also bought a bacon wallet with it. heart Ok, i got to ask? Bacon wallet?  It's a wallet that looks it's made of raw bacon. Seriously though, I've been in need of a new wallet...and this one looked particularly awesome.
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 3:44 pm
epic-writer42 That one night epic-writer42 Midnight_Euphomy epic-writer42 Opened a book of "Secrets" I got from think geek...I just happened to open it on the page about the "Secret to attracting beautiful women." Wow, even this books admits I have problems. xd Might I borrow that after you perhaps? It's 5.99 plus shipping on think geek. ninja Also bought a bacon wallet with it. heart Ok, i got to ask? Bacon wallet? It's a wallet that looks it's made of raw bacon. Seriously though, I've been in need of a new wallet...and this one looked particularly awesome. Oh wow, That is awesome. Too bad I just got a new wallet, or i would get one too xD
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 4:21 pm
Midnight_Euphomy Thanks, i got all that already. I'm not worried about the actual serving part, just the time coming up until it. I've already had a few people spit at me and whatnot and call me a child/dream murderer. I'm not going to turn into one of those Elitists, they're assholes and can't help anyone for s**t. Eh, people will have their preconceived notions about the military. Just leave them be. (But I don't need to tell you that; you seem to be ignoring them already. XD) Okay, I'm glad to hear you feel that way. XD That means you have a good conscience.
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 8:05 pm
Celine: Want to come along and hunt treasure with me?
Me: No.
Celine: Sorry, what was that?
Me: I said no.
Celine: Sorry, what was that?
Me: NO I DON'T WANT TO GO WITH YOU!!!!
Celine: Sorry, what was that?
Me: WHAT PART OF NO DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!!! D:Celine: Sorry, what was that?
Me: FINE!!!!!!!!!!!
Celine: That's the spirit!!!♥♥♥
Me: What's the point of no if the game doesn't allow it?
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 8:29 pm
I feel like I'm invisible and/or a failed copy of my younger sister, and I'm sick of it. I'm pretty much just average. Dark hair, dark eyes, average height, weight, and build, and myopic. Even my "talents", for lack of a better word, are common. There are millions of people who have a voice and do crafts. I'm not really noticed as more than a space-taking body, even with my own family. The only reason people recognize me at church is because I have a role during Mass. Sometimes I think the only one who notices me is the dog, and even there I have my doubts. Does she see me for me, or just someone who will give her attention, and anyone will do?
And then there's the whole twin thing. Yes, we both have the same brown hair, though hers has blonder highlights, while mine are redder. She's two inches shorter, has interesting grey eyes, dimples, 18 moths younger, and is mostly slimmer, with a notable exception. Not to mention a job, a boyfriend, lots of other friends, and [had something else, but forgot it]. We've been called twins a number of time by strangers, and now even apparently our mother. Today, she was saying how I should cut my hair a few inches so we'd look alike. Never mind that that was my hair length this time last year. Or that I should go outside and sunbathe with my sister, even though she knows our skin reacts differently. Even in academics. She's on track with a double major, while my schooling got messed up with a single one. And Mum doesn't realize this, doesn't realize that the comparisons hurt, or that her naming my hs classmates who just graduated and have their names in the paper just rubs in the fact that not only am I behind them, but I'm even behind my damned sister. Or a number of other things.
So yes, I probably do use Gaia as a way to compensate for this lack of individuality. OK, scratch the "probably". It's the reason why my avi almost always in in some sort of dress, since I'd like to wear them, but rarely have a reason to. It's the reason why I used first the centaur base, and now the purple elf one. To have some sense of individuality, even if it's a pretense. In a odd way, I'm glad that I've stayed on, stuck it through, while she's slid mostly off, that I have been able to get a comfortable cushion gold-wise. It's little things like that that make me feel like I've accomplished something. There have been several times where I've mentally referred to myself as Jenni. (Which is technically fine, as Jennivieve is my Confirmation name, but that's not the point.) I've had to stop and ask myself, "Am I Jo or Jenni?" Which might be an indicator to how important this site, esp. the zCB and USPT have become to me. Anyhow, I truly am losing myself.
Yes, I know I have esteem issues. It's pretty obvious. To be honest, I sometimes want to throw something. Not a stuffed animal, either, but more like a rock or clay pot against a tree, just to get a solid whack, just to know that I do exist. The worst part? I can't even tell this to my family, can't even know how I feel. I'm an emotional type, and I know that if I try, I'll just end us with tears flowing down my face, and so being called a crybaby, being ignored, or both. I've tried it before. And so, I end up silently sobbing in my room when no one is around, and occasionally writing these same types of things in this thread, just to vent. To know that they'll always be here, but will get washed away in the torrent of posts, hidden so they won't be a constant reminder. I don't mean to have this be a cry for attention or anything, just to know that someone might care.
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 8:35 pm
More stuff: Apparently what I'm looking for in a relationship is a romance with a friend...a girl who isn't just some object of my undying affection. But a best friend...besides you can't spell girlfriend without the word friend...but with women...this is almost a 100% guaranteed road to getting sent to the friend zone it seems for me...Just my observation in my specific cases...nothing more.
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 8:39 pm
Jennivieve I feel like I'm invisible and/or a failed copy of my younger sister, and I'm sick of it. I'm pretty much just average. Dark hair, dark eyes, average height, weight, and build, and myopic. Even my "talents", for lack of a better word, are common. There are millions of people who have a voice and do crafts. I'm not really noticed as more than a space-taking body, even with my own family. The only reason people recognize me at church is because I have a role during Mass. Sometimes I think the only one who notices me is the dog, and even there I have my doubts. Does she see me for me, or just someone who will give her attention, and anyone will do?
And then there's the whole twin thing. Yes, we both have the same brown hair, though hers has blonder highlights, while mine are redder. She's two inches shorter, has interesting grey eyes, dimples, 18 moths younger, and is mostly slimmer, with a notable exception. Not to mention a job, a boyfriend, lots of other friends, and [had something else, but forgot it]. We've been called twins a number of time by strangers, and now even apparently our mother. Today, she was saying how I should cut my hair a few inches so we'd look alike. Never mind that that was my hair length this time last year. Or that I should go outside and sunbathe with my sister, even though she knows our skin reacts differently. Even in academics. She's on track with a double major, while my schooling got messed up with a single one. And Mum doesn't realize this, doesn't realize that the comparisons hurt, or that her naming my hs classmates who just graduated and have their names in the paper just rubs in the fact that not only am I behind them, but I'm even behind my damned sister. Or a number of other things.
So yes, I probably do use Gaia as a way to compensate for this lack of individuality. OK, scratch the "probably". It's the reason why my avi almost always in in some sort of dress, since I'd like to wear them, but rarely have a reason to. It's the reason why I used first the centaur base, and now the purple elf one. To have some sense of individuality, even if it's a pretense. In a odd way, I'm glad that I've stayed on, stuck it through, while she's slid mostly off, that I have been able to get a comfortable cushion gold-wise. It's little things like that that make me feel like I've accomplished something. There have been several times where I've mentally referred to myself as Jenni. (Which is technically fine, as Jennivieve is my Confirmation name, but that's not the point.) I've had to stop and ask myself, "Am I Jo or Jenni?" Which might be an indicator to how important this site, esp. the zCB and USPT have become to me. Anyhow, I truly am losing myself.
Yes, I know I have esteem issues. It's pretty obvious. To be honest, I sometimes want to throw something. Not a stuffed animal, either, but more like a rock or clay pot against a tree, just to get a solid whack, just to know that I do exist. The worst part? I can't even tell this to my family, can't even know how I feel. I'm an emotional type, and I know that if I try, I'll just end us with tears flowing down my face, and so being called a crybaby, being ignored, or both. I've tried it before. And so, I end up silently sobbing in my room when no one is around, and occasionally writing these same types of things in this thread, just to vent. To know that they'll always be here, but will get washed away in the torrent of posts, hidden so they won't be a constant reminder. I don't mean to have this be a cry for attention or anything, just to know that someone might care.
If it helps you're Jen to me. And in my opinion you are a much better person to hang out with. Don't let things like this get you down Jen, its the times when the darkest of light is around you that you have to remember the light that you hold. A light of hope, of friends supporting you every step of the way. And if you manage to fall down we're all here ready to extend a hand to help you up because its not those who don't need help that are the strongest but those who admit that they need it. And while you may think that you're not as good as her, all of us here at the zcb know you are. So don't worry about crying or showing your emotion, if thats what you need to do then we can just sit here with you and be there if you need us. We may not be your actual family but we are your family here and we'd be more than happy to give it our all to help you in any way. I guess what I'm saying Jen, is that even if everything seems wrong in the world, if you fall down and choose to get back up, then thats something right and there's nothing better to do. Don't give up and let them all get the best of you, we got your back.
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 8:55 pm
epic-writer42 More stuff: Apparently what I'm looking for in a relationship is a romance with a friend...a girl who isn't just some object of my undying affection. But a best friend...besides you can't spell girlfriend without the word friend...but with women...this is almost a 100% guaranteed road to getting sent to the friend zone it seems for me...Just my observation in my specific cases...nothing more.love sucks, don't do it
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:00 pm
Did... something happen? D:
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:01 pm
Foam-Dome Did... something happen? D:
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:04 pm
CH0Z0 Foam-Dome Did... something happen? D: She didn't...? Did she? D:
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:10 pm
Foam-Dome CH0Z0 Foam-Dome Did... something happen? D: She didn't...? Did she? D: yeah and told me to stop even trying.
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:50 pm
CH0Z0 Foam-Dome CH0Z0 Foam-Dome Did... something happen? D: She didn't...? Did she? D: yeah and told me to stop even trying. D: /hugs Cho Sorry to hear it man ;;
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 10:08 pm
epic-writer42 More stuff: Apparently what I'm looking for in a relationship is a romance with a friend...a girl who isn't just some object of my undying affection. But a best friend...besides you can't spell girlfriend without the word friend...but with women...this is almost a 100% guaranteed road to getting sent to the friend zone it seems for me...Just my observation in my specific cases...nothing more.
I need to find a guy like you irl epic. Too many guys seem to want to jump right into a relationship, I want a friendship first a relationship second. I want to know the person before I consider dating them, unfortunately at that point they think they're in the friend zone and I get scarred to approach them. Either that or they stick me in the friend zone... it happens with both girls and guys that you can be stuck in a friend zone.
@Cho: *hugs* you're an awesome person, and I'm sure you'll find someone eventually. I'm sorry that relationship didn't work out for you... *hugs again*
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 10:14 pm
I seem to have a nasty habit of ******** up anything good in my life to the point i'm afraid to even live my life because i know i'm going to get hurt somehow and retreat to my dark little room and not want to come out again.
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