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 Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 10:07 pm
 Kaoru ✺ Masako███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ ❝...Within the мση†ħ of ₳prїℓ, Love is §мéℓℓїηġ §ωéé†ℓy...❞
(( Im stealing a new photo for kao >>;;;; ))
Kaoru smiled wearily, but he felt like he could cry. He noticed how uncomfortable Dae seemed, and wanted to lighten the mood. "I'm glad your band is doing great. I... I'm really glad.." that you came to see me. Kaoru was greatful, so incredibly greatful he felt his knees shake. He leaned against the door frame, still drinking in the image of the man he hadn't seen in a year. More beautiful than he remembered...
Kaoru sighed quietly, as if he couldn't believe what he saw. Maybe he was exaggerating, but he was happy. "I've been fine... They made me take other things, progressing back into my customer service job. To be honest... I actually wanted to try and get a car, maybe get into a small business." Kaoru never let his smile falter, hoping Dae would feel less uneasy. "I'm... I'm much better now." He nodded, as if trying to believe what he said. "I still like butterflies, though." Kaoru cleared his throat, not sure what he could say. "They... Delivered my flowers, hadn't they?" Kaoru asked, hopeful. He wondered if Dae even bothered to keep them. "I don't mean to bother all the time, like that..." Kaoru bit his lip lightly, that animalistic feeling coming again, like so long ago. Just a kiss, just a hug... Just a touch... His fingers tingled and his heart was beginning to race.
"I'm sorry, I have to go!" he cried out, shutting the door, practically slamming it. He breathed a little awkwardly and pressed his forehead against the door. He could never risk that again. Kaoru sat on the floor, leaning on the cold wood of the door. Taking a deep breath, mentally counting a flock of butterflies in his head (what his therapist suggested to him), he calmed himself down. Standing, practically jumping to his feet, Kaoru creaked open the door, peaking out. "I don't want to hurt you..." he said in a hushed voice. "I get this... Feeling... Just sometimes... That I have to, just have to, touch you." He tried to explain, and prayed so hard Dae wouldn't just run away from him. Kaoru continued, his voice getting quieter. "Its better now... But I'm scared." He spoke through the cracked door, hiding, still afraid he might push too far. If Dae ran away from him... Maybe he could still watch from his window. Love him from far away. That way, Dae wouldn't ever get hurt. Kaoru was obsessed in a different way with him now, no longer just wanting him, but his affection.
❝...In the §prїηġ ßréézé...❞
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Posted: Fri Dec 03, 2010 10:02 pm
+Where's the door again...?+ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Wondering just how much better Kaoru had become from therapy, Dae hyun offered, "Maybe sometime when you aren't busy, you could come to one of our concerts. I could get you a ticket for free, even get you backstage if you wanted. It still isn't anything terribly glamorous, but...it's fun." Although the band had gotten a new bassist, they were stronger than ever, and Dae hyun was praying that they get a breakthrough soon. While he didn't mind playing small stages and working in the shop during the day, he still hoped they would somehow be able to make it to the big time. If nothing else it would show his parents he wasn't a total screw up.
The more they talked, the more comfortable Dae hyun began to feel. If it wasn't for the tense and awkward air between them, it might have been just another conversation between friends. "Ah, is that so? What kind of business were you thinking of getting into?" he asked, wondering what interests Kaoru might have picked up in their years apart. Especially if it was in the fashion or music industries, they might have a chance to work with each other sometime. When Kaoru mentioned his improvement, Dae hyun smiled weakly. "That's good to hear," he said, wondering if he was speaking generally.
However, when Kaoru mentioned the flowers, Dae hyun scratched his neck again. "Yeah, they did. They were all...really pretty. Did you grow all of them in your garden?" he asked, not wanting to admit that he had thrown most of them away without ever having them out on display. For whatever reason, they had always reminded him of the time Kaoru had attacked him. Perhaps it was because the flowers also reminded him of how oddly Kaoru used to act, which of course just made him think of what had finally driven them apart for a whole year. Whether or not the flowers themselves had been innocent...he simply couldn't get past it.
Just when it seemed as though they might be on the same page again, Dae hyun had the door slammed in his face. Taken aback, he was frozen to the spot for a moment, staring in shock at the door. With a sad look, he turned to leave yet hesitated before even the first step. When he heard a soft voice behind him, he looked to find Kaoru peeking out from behind the door, looking like a cornered mouse. Hearing his explanation, Dae hyun didn't know what to say. On one hand, he was as frightened of Kaoru as the man was of himself. Yet at the same time, such a heartfelt confession was touching. Even if he didn't feel the same way, it was nice to know that Kaoru had a better hold on his own feelings.
"Well maybe...maybe if we started spending time together again...it might help? I mean, if you got to see me almost every day, maybe you would just get used to me being around and you wouldn't get those urges?" he suggested hopefully, not really knowing what kind of emotional impulses Kaoru was having. "I'm...kind of scared too," he admitted, not trying to hurt Kaoru but wanting to be as honest in return. "But, I also think you're a good person at heart. So why don't we try being friends again? Now that you're getting help, things will probably turn out smoother, and...who knows? Maybe us hanging out will help you with your therapy? I'm not really sure how it works, but if there's someway I can help just let me know." While he still had his reservations, Dae hyun still felt the need from the bottom of his heart to at least try and offer a hand where it was needed, especially now that Kaoru was looking a little...softer.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~+...And who are you supposed to be?+
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 7:00 pm
Kaoru ✺ Masako███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ ❝...Within the мση†ħ of ₳prїℓ, Love is §мéℓℓїηġ §ωéé†ℓy...❞
Kaoru, from behnd the door, could not belive what he was hearing. Dae-hyun had offered to help him? Kaoru hid his face, holding the door just barely ajar. Why hadn't he ran away? He even admitted being afraid! Kaoru's mind couldn't comprehend any reason. Dae would offer to stay his friend. His eyes burned as salty droplets were escaping him. Wiping his eyes, the tears starting to flood him. He was incredibly emotional... Probably due to those small round things that woman was making him swallow. Kaoru sniffled, wiping the last of his tears before he showed his face. He pushed through the door and shut it behind him. He looked up to Dae-hyun and gave him a small smile.
"Thank you... Thank you, Dae-hyun." Rubbing his cheek, Kaoru leaned against his door, clearing his throat. "A... Concert sounds nice... I'd probably just stay in the back, but I'd love to see you guys live." Kaoru went on, hoping to connect with Dae further. "I wanted to... Uhm. Do botany. I wanted to do piercing but my therapist said it'd be too dangerous.." He let out a small chuckle, running a hand through his uncoloured hair. His arm had tiny pinpoint scars and a new scar; a longer, thin line with jagged edges up the length of his forearm. The severety of his wound from back then required surgery, and the fact he left it for so long left the nasty scars.
Kaoru smiled but something still bothered him. He sighed, saying nothing for a short while. "Why are you still here?" Kaoru asked. "I mean... Why do you even want to be my friend? I've been so much trouble to you." The man was indeed ecstatic, but he was still curious. "Y-you know, forget it. I don't have to know. I'm greatful, no matter what." Kaoru looked over and reached down, picking a small handful of asters by his door. Taking a second handful of Queen Anne's lace, he mixed them into a simple arrangement, offering them to Dae-hyun.
"Do you... Want to hang out sometime? The park downtown... It's pretty nice when I saw it." Kaoru may had been taken driving by his therapist, but never had he actually gone 'out' before. But if it involved Dae.. He wasn't sure if he would even have limitations. To be honest, he was really trying to indirectly 'date' the guy.
❝...In the §prїηġ ßréézé...❞
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Posted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 8:53 pm
+Where's the door again...?+ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Although he didn't say anything when he saw tears in Kaoru's eyes, Dae hyun wondered if he had made the right decision. The entire time they had been apart, he had never thought about whether or not Kaoru now regretted what he'd done. While he didn't want to ask outright, there was no way he could guess either. Still, seeing the man step outside completely and close the door behind him was reassuring. If he had made at least that much progress, perhaps he was becoming more normal after all.
Hearing him accept the invitation to a concert, Dae hyun smiled. "Still, having you there would be cool. I could introduce you to the rest of the band and you'd finally get to hear what kind of music we play. I hope you like it," he said, not sure if Kaoru's past fashion sense was indicitive of his current musical tastes. "I'll be sure to let you know the next time we have a gig. Would you be okay with driving there together?" he asked, wondering if the man had managed to work through his fear of automobiles yet. Even though he didn't want to push him too much, Dae hyun thought it would be good to get Kaoru in a car now and again.
Noticing the tiny dots along Kaoru's arm, Dae hyun wondered if he had done anything similar to himself lately. Suddenly, a lump rose in his throat as he saw the much larger, longer scar running down the arm. Trying to recompose himself and not think too much of it, he thought about Kaoru's choice of career direction. "Well...I don't know much about botany, but...if it's something you love to do, I don't see any reason not to at least give it a try," he said with a smile. "Too many people these days get themselves stuck in jobs they hate, and that's no good. That's why I've always just done what suits me."
When Kaoru asked why he was still there, Dae hyun scratched the back of his neck in thought. Looking down at the ground dejectedly, he wondered if he had made a mistake after all in trying to reconnect. Knowing Kaory was probably still in the process of healing, it might have been a bit cruel to just march back in there after all. Sighing as well, he was about to say something when Kaoru just dismissed the question, handing him flowers instead. Taking the flowers without a word, Dae hyun stared at them blankly for a moment before saying, "Kaoru...if I'm making you uncomfortable, maybe we should...just sit down and talk?" While he didn't want to intrude, just abandoning Kaoru didn't seem like the right thing to do either. There had to be a solution.
Looking at the flowers more closely, he pointed to the Queen Anne's lace and asked, "This stuff is poisonous, right? Cool." Although he knew it sounded weird, poisonous things had never bothered him before, especially since he'd worked with so many different kinds of reptiles in the past. "I used to see a bunch of this stuff growing all over the place back when I was a kid. We lived near a small marshy lake. I guess the plants liked that?" he guessed, not really knowing anything else about it. When Kaoru mentioned the park, Dae hyun gave him a strange look. "Uhh, I guess. But is there really anything to do at the park? I don't really go there much..."~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~+...And who are you supposed to be?+
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Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 7:16 pm
Kaoru ✺ Masako███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ ❝...Within the мση†ħ of ₳prїℓ, Love is §мéℓℓїηġ §ωéé†ℓy...❞
Kaoru smiled shyly, nodding slightly. "Sure... I'd like that, driving together..." he rubbed his arm gently. He was beginning to feel even more aggitated than usual, perhaps from being so close again. Meeting other people didn't sound like something he would thoroughly enjoy, he feared it actually, but Kaoru would suck it up. He'd do anything to get back on track with Dae-hyun. When the other man commented on Kaoru's love for botany, Kaoru shied away, looking in a random direction with a faint smile. Just as he was beginning to feel that certain need, Dae seemed concerned for the man, asking if he needed them to talk. Taking a deep breath, he looked to Dae-hyun silently.
The mention of the Queen Anne's lace took his mind off the offer for a moment. "I'm glad you like it," was all he managed to say before returning to the offer. Taking a pause, he felt awkward all of a sudden.
"I..." His hands dropped to his sides, his eyes starting to sting again. Wiping an eye before he started crying again, he hesitantly looked the other in the eye. "I just... Want to be your friend again." he started. "If you want to come in... I-I don't mind. I'm not... Uncomfortable, persay... Just... Nervous?" Kaoru wasn't exactly the best communicator. Only he knows exactly when someone ever bothered to visit him before Dae's arrival. They all already knew his mannerisms were far from normal. Then a year of separation from someone he obsessed over. Seeing him again was far from awkward. Joyous and somehow skeptical, more like it.
"I want to stay friends with you..." Kaoru cleared his throat, moving onto the subject of the park. He played with a small lock of hair. "I guess there really isn't much... Where would you want to go?" The guy would hate to bore his beloved, but he wasn't sure where to go. He was less than in tune to the world outside of his small, square home other than food and dry cleaners. Nevertheless, where they went mattered little to Kaoru anyway. He was close to Kaoru again, and he wanted to be even closer.
❝...In the §prїηġ ßréézé...❞
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Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 10:26 am
+Where's the door again...?+ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Noticing a small tear in the corner of Kaoru's eye, Dae hyun panicked slightly. Had he really rushed it after all? Hearing the guy's sweet request, however, he smiled again. Although he was hesitant to go inside Kaoru's house again, Dae hyun said, "I think we can do that. I want us to be friendly again too." Looking Kaoru up and down once more, thinking about how different he was now, Dae hyun asked, "So...therapy's been helping?" While he didn't want to seem nosy or degrading, he had heard that Kaoru had been receiving treatment after what had happened. It was clear Kaoru was a changed man, but hearing it from him directly would mean more. Even though Dae hyun still distrusted him a bit, he was beginning to feel more at ease in Kaoru's company.
Still wanting them to have a chance to reconnect, Dae hyun tried to think of a good place for the two of them to hang out. "Well, normally I might say the arcade, but...it's always really noisy and crowded in there. I'd rather go some place we could still talk." Thinking again for a moment, he said, "What about the mall? There are still lots of people, but there's plenty of space to walk around and sit. We could get coffee or something to eat there too." Hoping Kaoru wouldn't mind going somewhere with people, he continued, "We could even go see a movie at the same time. The mall just opened up a new theater inside. Do you like movies?" he asked, trying to get a feel for what Kaoru might like to do. Even when they had just met, there didn't seem to be many things Kaoru enjoyed other than butterflies and flowers. Unfortunately, those were difficult to plan a day trip around unless you liked gardens.
"I guess...I can come in for a minute," he said with slight hesitation, although he didn't really have anywhere he needed to be that day. Despite his distrust of Kaoru, he didn't want to be rude. When he thought about it, though, wasn't that what had gotten him into trouble in the first place? He had let his guard down time and time again for Kaoru because he didn't want to hurt the man's fragile feelings. Now, however, he would be ready if anything happened. Thinking like that made him ashamed, that he couldn't trust people anymore, but he had his reasons.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~+...And who are you supposed to be?+ ((Hrmm...sorry that it's kind of short. >.>))
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Posted: Sat Dec 11, 2010 6:40 pm
Kaoru ✺ Masako███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ ❝...Within the мση†ħ of ₳prїℓ, Love is §мéℓℓїηġ §ωéé†ℓy...❞
Kaoru cleared his throat, fighting a grin that wanted to show on his face. To hear those words made his heart leap higher than the day the two met. "Uhm... Therapy actually has helped. I... I can go outside, and I can communicate with people better. I guess I'm still weird, but... I'm better." Kaoru spoke from his heart, hoping Dae-hyun would believe him. With Dae-hyun's suggestions, Kaoru was happy to take any of them. The theatre was something he might actually enjoy. "I like old films best, but yeah... I'd love to go." In the dark, sitting closely beside his darling Dae-hyun, watching a film? Just sublime! "There were a few new movies I wanted to see..." Kaoru enjoyed the connections the two were recreating. Clearing his throat, his hands fidgitted. Letting Dae back into his home after such a horrible encounter last time. He swallowed the build of saliva in his throat before taking the handle of his door from behind. He mentally promised he wouldn't cross the line again.
Opening the door, Kaoru led inside. His house hasn't changed except a few of his butterfly collections hanging on the walls with added paintings here or there. Kaoru strode to his bedroom door, shutting it tightly. He sighed deeply, turning to walk to his couch and sitting down on the very end. He wondered if Dae-hyun would be in the slightest comfortable since their last encounter. "I don't remember last time I went to the mall... It'd be nice. What movies are out?" Kaoru didn't really much eye contact this time, he felt too shameful.
"I'm sorry..." he whispered, hoping with all his might his words would not carry. He'd hate to remind Dae of that time with such an apology. He hated reminding himself of it... The sensation, desire... The oh so faint, lingering taste of those lips, the soft hair and smooth skin... Kaoru took a deep breath, so deep his lungs felt like they could pop. He finally exhaled slowly, giving his lungs a break. "Sometimes... I get attached. When I get attached I get obsessed. I... I have to feel and touch." Kaoru was beginning to feel his voice about to break. "I can get too obsessed. I used to just take what I wanted. I wanted to get closer but I was impatient." Kaoru stopped himself, sighing again, his breathing more fragil. His hands rubbed his knees that were locked together. "I guess I'm still weird but... She told me I can be in regular society without being er... Monitered."
❝...In the §prїηġ ßréézé...❞
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 12:50 pm
+Where's the door again...?+ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Smiling a little, Dae hyun said, "Well, that's a good start, right? I mean...a little at a time is fine as long as you keep at it. In fact, sometimes it's better to take it slow." When Kaoru mentioned old films, Dae hyun said, "Yeah, I think they only really show new movies in the mall. But if you like old movies, maybe we could rent one now and then and watch it together. Especially on rainy or snowy days, there's nothing better than sitting at home watching a movie, eating popcorn, and drinking tea," he said warmly, thinking about all the years he had done that himself. The only thing that had ever been missing was someone to share it with, but none of his friends were interested. Maybe getting back together with Kaoru wasn't such a bad idea.
"Well, this coming weekend I've got nothing to do, no concerts. We could check the paper Saturday morning for movie listings and just head out. What do you think?" he asked, hoping Kaoru would be up to spending the day together. If his phobias of going outside and interacting with people were both improving, maybe they would actually be able to go places together. Despite their past, Dae hyun knew he would be able to reconnect if Kaoru came out and spent some time with him like a regular friend.
When Kaoru led the way inside, Dae hyun hesitated at the threshold for a moment before stepping across. Looking around, he noticed a few small changes, like some paintings that hadn't been there before. For the most part, however, it was still the same, and it forced him to remember the night Kaoru had attacked him. Trying to push down the feelings of fear and hatred flaring up in his mind, Dae hyun sat down in the middle of the couch Kaoru was perched on. When asked about recent movies, he said, "I know there was a big budget war movie that just came out, and two comedies...I think there was a romance that's been getting some critical acclaim, and...oh yeah, that family movie. You know, the one every takes their kids to see? One of my friends took his little brother to see it, said it was cute."
Falling silent as well after he'd finished, Dae hyun barely heard Kaoru's whisper, but he understood it well enough. Although he knew Kaoru was trying to make amends, for some reason he couldn't completely resist the rage he'd kept with him that entire year. More than being afraid, he had hated Kaoru for betraying his trust after he'd done so much to try and become friends. The entire time he'd been convincing himself that Kaoru was just being unfairly shunned by the world for being different, just like himself and many of his friends. Dae hyun wanted to be able to forgive him now, but he just hadn't gotten to that point yet.
Blushing at Kaoru's words and looking away angrily, Dae hyun said, "There's no such thing as too obsessed. Any obsession is bad, that's what the word means." Although he hadn't meant to sound so cruel, Dae hyun couldn't help but feel justified in what he was saying. Despite that Kaoru was apologizing, he couldn't quite accept it. Refusing to make eye contact with Kaoru, Dae hyun merely said, "This is awkward," wanting to be as honest as possible. As they fell into silence, he said, "I don't really know what you mean by wanting to closer, but...if it's just as friends I don't mind. If you can just control yourself now, it's fine. Just..." sighing as he realized he had little to say, Dae hyun finished, "Just don't do anything hurtful again."~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~+...And who are you supposed to be?+
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Posted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 6:44 pm
Kaoru ✺ Masako███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ ❝...Within the мση†ħ of ₳prїℓ, Love is §мéℓℓїηġ §ωéé†ℓy...❞
Kaoru smiled slightly with Dae's suggestions. "Satuday morning? Sounds great..." Kaoru actually had work but his reconnecting was priority in his mind. He felt warm and fuzzy, a reassuring feeling that made him want to do anything. He began to feel the tension from Dae-hyun, however, as the man entered his home. He understood perfectly why; Kaoru himself with his fears would probably never had even come near. But that's why he was so happy Dae even came to see him. Maybe he was going too far too fast, though?
His happiness did not last long as the harshness of Dae's words caught him. He gave him a pathetically pouted look before looking away. He didn't want to see the anger that seemed to boil. Sighing, he tried to speak. "I... It's like... I love butterflies. But I started to love them more and now-" He motioned his hand to the collections hanging on his walls. "I keep them to stay close. They don't live long so I keep them like this. I love a lot of things... And I want to keep them all. But I'm learning to hold back... I don't want to hurt you." Not sure what else to say, he just realized something vital. Vital for him at least.
"Oh! Since I don't have a kitchen my therapist insisted I get one. Over the weekend and maybe Monday, the building company is going to add to the front of my house. I'm not sure how great a cook I can actually be but I guess it'll be nice..." Kaoru still didn't look at Dae. Even he began to feel awkward now, not knowing what to say.
❝...In the §prїηġ ßréézé...❞
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Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 9:13 pm
+Where's the door again...?+ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Although he wanted to be able to just drop the subject, Dae hyun knew that ignoring the problems they had would not solve anything. Trying to keep his voice more level, he asked, "Did anything like that...ever happen with another person?" When Kaoru equated his fascination for him to his collecting of butterflies, Dae hyun couldn't help but think of the horror movies he'd seen where killers would keep their victims around the house even after they were done with them. While collecting butterflies wasn't such a strange hobby, in this case it just made him even more uneasy.
"Well...thank you," he said awkwardly, glad at least that Kaoru realized the consequences of what he had done. It seemed as though time had not yet been enough to heal their wounds. When Kaoru mentioned having a kitchen built, Dae hyun looked around. It was true that he hadn't been in every room in the house, but there really didn't seem to be a kitchen entrance anywhere. "That's strange that they would build a house without one...but I guess it's good you're adding one. I mean...what have you been eating up until now. While he still didn't mean to sound insulting, Dae hyun finally realized what his tone was, and looked back down at the carpet.
Scratching the back of his neck, Dae hyun said, "I think I'm gonna head back home. I've got some cleaning to do..." Standing up and heading for the door he paused for a moment. Turning back around he said, "You can call or text me if you like. If I don't hear from you until then, though...I'll see you Saturday morning, right?" As much as Kaoru made him uncomfortable, Dae hyun couldn't leave him alone. After all, it was time for the two of them to make amends and try to be civil again. Even if none of it had been his fault, Dae hyun wanted to do his part in bringing them back together and helping Kaoru transition back into the world.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~+...And who are you supposed to be?+ ((Sorry, kinda short. ;>.>))
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Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 10:07 pm
Kaoru ✺ Masako███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ ❝...Within the мση†ħ of ₳prїℓ, Love is §мéℓℓїηġ §ωéé†ℓy...❞
Kaoru probably expected the question but he gave an indifferent expression. "Do you remember I told you about a friend who stayed with me before?" Kaoru was seemingly less emotional now, regaining proper composure. "I really liked him, but he wanted to move into a better place. My house isn't the best in the world, I know, but... I couldn't let him go..." Sighing whilist fidgetting with his natural hair, he tried to continue his explenation. "I wanted to move in with him instead but I couldn't leave. I was too scared so I panicked. The day he tried to leave I clung to him, as tight as I could... I scared him off and I felt horrible..." Kaoru smiled crookedly to Dae's hesitant-sounding thanks. He tried to hide his faint blush by rubbing his face for a moment; he felt like he was confessing to Dae. It almost was a confession, to Kaoru anyway. He perked a bit to the next question he was given, not entirely understanding. Wasn't it obvious?
"I usually just call catering or take out... If I'm busy I forget to eat for a day or so, but my stomach will hurt later so I call in an order." He ran his fingers through his hair before moving to rub his arm awkwardly. He cleared his throat, somehow comfortable with telling this man anything but he hated the tension he was given. His heart was pounding in his ears from both anxiety and infatuation. He gave another smile, nodding as the other man mentioned he had to leave. Standing, Kaoru walked to the door, leaning on the wall to see Dae out.
"Yeah, Saturday... I'll see you then. And... Thanks... Thanks for everything, Dae-hyun." Kaoru meant his gratitude fully; he was overjoyed to see the handsome man again and desparately wanted to continue to see him. Perhaps he could he more patient in his attempt to claim his heart.
❝...In the §prїηġ ßréézé...❞
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Posted: Sat Dec 25, 2010 6:56 pm
+Where's the door again...?+ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Although he had many more questions, Dae hyun restrained himself. There would be plenty of time later for him to probe deeper into Kaoru's past. Trying to go through it all at once would probably only be painful for both of them. When Kaoru admitted to his previous eating habits, Dae hyun had to restrain himself from lecturing. As a full-grown man, didn't he know enough about nutrition to take care of himself? Take-out wasn't bad every now and then, and Dae hyun enjoyed it himself, but that was no way to live. Instead, he said, "Well maybe when they're done I can teach you some recipes. I don't know anything too fancy, but I can pass on a few useful dishes." Being a bachelor, Dae hyun knew enough to keep himself healthy, but not much else. Still, it might help Kaoru's transition.
Not sure what Kaoru was thanking him for, Dae hyun merely looked into his eyes before nodding. "Sure thing. Let me know if you ever need anything." Despite what had happened between them, Dae hyun still found himself saying those same words, just the same. Even if Kaoru had hurt him before, he seemed to be a new man now. Perhaps some continued support would be enough to show him he was headed in the right direction. Trying to remember what he'd learned in high school psychology, Dae hyun thought he recalled that rewards were a more efficient system of reinforcement than punishment. If that was right, then he would humor Kaoru for now.
"See ya," he said, leaving with a wave. Crossing the street unhurriedly, Dae hyun locked the front door behind him before settling down on the couch. Feeling his pocket vibrate, he pulled out his phone and saw the name Daria. Flipping it open, he said, "Hey, what's up?" An excited rasp from the other side gave him the good news that they would be performing that coming Sunday, as one of the main attractions for a local bar. "Awesome," he said, relieved that it wouldn't interfere with his plans with Kaoru. "You got a cold or something?" he asked, noting her scratchy voice. After a quick reassurance, they hung up and Dae hyun leaned his head back over the edge of the couch. Raising his fists into the air, he smiled before getting up and heading into the kitchen for a beer in celebration.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~+...And who are you supposed to be?+ ((I think we should skip to Saturday soon. Nothing really important is happening in between that I'm planning.))
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Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 9:05 pm
Kaoru ✺ Masako███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ ❝...Within the мση†ħ of ₳prїℓ, Love is §мéℓℓїηġ §ωéé†ℓy...❞
Kaoru couldn't wait for Saturday to come. As he saw Dae out the door he slid to the ground on the carpet, sighing. He was very content; glad he was paid a visit, was going to see a movie with his precious treasure, a remodeling of his home and maybe a concert sometime the same week. He felt suddenly anxious, nervous, about the concert. It would be dark and crowded, maybe rowdy. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to keep himself together. Maybe, he thought, his therapist could help him- take him someplace noisy, crowded, and hopefully dark but the crowded and noisy was what he was most worried about. After thinking a bit longer, he got up from the floor and headed to his room. He needed to clear up a few things for the architects to tear down and rebuild.
Through the following days or so, Kaoru personally called this therapist to take him out. He wanted to practice keeping his nerves calm. It was easy enough getting into a vehicle now, for him, and easier to see the scenery go by without getting sick. That had been a problem before, having to stop to empty his stomach. But being past that made him more confident. But his confidence was all driven by his obsession for Dae-hyun. He would cringe at the thought now, however. Since the man told him any obsessions were bad he couldn't help but scold himself. On the bright side, he wasn't causing anymore self-injury, self-punishment.
They went, first, to a faraway mall, a popular one. Then, an actual grocery store. Kaoru was talked into buying a few things, but all he got was a bottle of water and a few food items he would eat along the short trip. Finally to top off their short trip, Kaoru was taken to a crowded bus station. It was incredibly noisy, full of a hundred or so people. It was crowded due to the small size if the station. Kaoru was incredibly tense but held himself together. After a few minutes, though, he left for fresh air, panting as he leaned on a wall. A passerby asked if he was fine, which quickened his heart but after reassuring them he calmed down. This went on for half an hour before his therapist needed to leave for someone else. Kaoru was driven back to his home, his confidence slightly shaken. He wanted to be perfect for Dae-hyun. His therapist offered to buy him a quick lunch, noticing his depleting appitite. Kaoru refused flatly which worried the kind woman but she left it all the same.
Kaoru was constantly fussing over his hair and what he wanted to wear. It was obviousy something special to him but he didn't want to dress up. He put out a few outfits and mixed them. He was obsessing again without noticing. Kaoru slept lightly until the early morning of Saturday. The sun was barely coming up when he awoke. Calling work was the first thing he did, taking the day off. He couldn't wait for the day to start.
❝...In the §prїηġ ßréézé...❞
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Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 6:50 am
+Where's the door again...?+ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~When Saturday finally rolled around, Dae hyun was thankful not to have work. Although he still had plans with Kaoru, it would be nice not to have to go in and deal with everyone. When he eventually woke up and pushed himself out of bed, there were still a few hours until he was supposed to meet with Kaoru and drive over to the mall.
Taking his time to wake up, Dae hyun wondered what their day would be like. It wasn't often Dae hyun actually went out on the weekends with anyone in particular unless the whole gang was getting together, and he'd never gone out for a day with a guy before. It was a little awkward when he thought about it, and he had to wonder what other people would think when they saw the two of them together. Shaking his head, he tried not to worry about it. There as nothing between the two of them and there never would be, so it didn't matter what anyone else thought.
After making himself breakfast, Dae hyun did a few small things around the house, trying to eat up the time left until he and Kaoru were supposed to leave. As he was cleaning the sink, he got a text from their drummer, saying she and the rhythm guitarist were going out for drinks that night. Thinking he and Kaoru would only be spending the day together, Dae hyun accepted tentatively, though he hoped he would be able to make it.
Once the time came for him to leave, he grabbed his wallet and keys and headed across the street. Knocking on Kaoru’s door, he checked his hair briefly in the reflection of a curtained window and waited for the man to show himself. As soon as the door opened, he said, “Ready to go? I’ve got the movie times, so we can talk about it in the car.” That morning he hadn’t actually looked at the paper for the times, so he’d merely taken the page that had them and threw it in his car. Since he was driving, Kaoru could just read it out loud. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~+...And who are you supposed to be?+
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Posted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 6:27 am
Kaoru ✺ Masako███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ ❝...Within the мση†ħ of ₳prїℓ, Love is §мéℓℓїηġ §ωéé†ℓy...❞
Kaoru waited, fidgetting around and trying to keep himself busy. He had awaken so early, it would be a long wait. But eventually he was done waiting. That wonderful sound at his door; he rushed to it excitedly. Fixing his hair and smoothing out his attire, Kaoru greeted Dae-hyun warmly. "Lead the way!" Kaoru for a moment stopped. Taking a deep breath he slowly stepped out, looking around nervously. He straightened himself up, rubbing his arm. "Can we get, like... A bottled water before we get there?" he asked, shier than normal. Although he's been in a vehicle before, this one would be new to him; different. He would need a bit of something to keep himself calm.
It was barely moments but it felt like hours. Kaoru was almost regretting this, but he was already outside. Just a movie, close to Dae, and if he finds a nice horror film, he could act scared in hopes of the other handsome, kind man would 'save' him from his fears. In the dark... In a crowded, very public place... Now it was starting to get to him, mentally, even if he tried to train himself for crowds. He swallowed, hoping everything would go well.
"Movie times? Sure. Uhm... I've only heard of a few movies here and there." He mentioned. "There was a pretty cool suspense film, sci-fi..." he muttered. Kaoru didn't bother mentioning the others. Some romance he wasn't into and that family film Dae had told him about. "I don't know if it's out or playing 'round here, but... A psychological movie, seems interesting. Even more so that it's based around ballet; kind of an unlikely combo, right?" Kaoru twitched a smile, rubbing his arm. He felt so nervous, (or was it giddy?) like some hormonal teenager on a first date. He looked back to his house, walking slowly. When they'd get back he should have the skeleton of a kitchen built by then. Maybe if he practiced enough, he could cook a thing or two for Dae-hyun. Getting his mind of the possibly-crowded theatre idea, he smiled more genuinely.
Kaoru stopped at the edge of his lawn, where the road began. He took a slow breath before telling himself it was okay to cross it. He looked both ways multiple times, trying to convince himself nothing was coming. His fear of cars may have softened but he still disliked leaving his safe zone to open road.
One step.
Kaoru took a deep breath again, telling himself it wasn't that hard.
Another step. He was on his fifth step, almost halfway across the road. Counting didn't really help, but at the same time it kept his mind off any possibility of cars coming out of nowhere.
A little past halfway.
Was he really taking so long?
He finally reached the other side, to Dae-hyun's side, placing his hands in his knees like he ran a marathon. For a second, his face may have been pale, but he recovered and controlled his breathing, standing back up. "S-sorry..." he murmured, not sure why he said it; maybe because of how long he took or maybe because he remembered for an instant the night he assaulted the poor male. Sighing, he ran his fingers through his coarse, dark hair. He almost missed the reddish colour and the crunchy feel of hairspray and gel, but his mentality told him he wasn't that same man. He could never go back, or at least should never.
❝...In the §prїηġ ßréézé...❞
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