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 Posted: Tue May 17, 2011 7:29 am
Foam-Dome Cannibal Horsey Foam-Dome The times when I'm not thinking about her are becoming fewer and farther between...Wow, Peoplers is doing a heckuva job in here. Um, I like helping my friends? And well, there isn't many other places in here I can really contribute at the minute heart
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Posted: Tue May 17, 2011 8:35 am
Cannibal Horsey Foam-Dome Cannibal Horsey Foam-Dome The times when I'm not thinking about her are becoming fewer and farther between...Wow, Peoplers is doing a heckuva job in here. Um, I like helping my friends? And well, there isn't many other places in here I can really contribute at the minute heart
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Posted: Tue May 17, 2011 9:19 am
Foam-Dome Cannibal Horsey Foam-Dome Cannibal Horsey Foam-Dome The times when I'm not thinking about her are becoming fewer and farther between...Wow, Peoplers is doing a heckuva job in here. Um, I like helping my friends? And well, there isn't many other places in here I can really contribute at the minute heart
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Posted: Tue May 17, 2011 6:59 pm
Cannibal Horsey Maris Pallitax Why? Why is he always the first one I go to when I get so stressed, and upset, and unhappy, that I'm literally sobbing uncontrollably? I kept it in for so long, but then, of course, something happens and I spiral into this miniature rage, spewing everything I've been unable to get out. At least I mostly keep it to a bare minimum... I always feel so much better when he's happy. Or when I'm depressed and he makes me feel better. Or when he asks how I am, and I can say that I'm happy... I wish I'd never gotten close to him, I wish I'd never crushed on him, I wish I'd never become friends with him, I wish I'd never fallen in love with him... I wish I'd never cared... because then, he'd never have to feel this way. I am so sorry...
I should have kept my mouth shut.. but I had nowhere else to go. Yes, yes I did have somewhere else to go. Here. But no. I had to selfishly take it out on him.
It's all my fault. And there is nothing I want to do about it. For once, I'm happy, and I ******** hate it.
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Posted: Tue May 17, 2011 7:10 pm
Is it sad that I don't even take my own advice when I perfectly well know that it's correct?
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Posted: Tue May 17, 2011 8:01 pm
I love it when music strikes me in such a beautiful way...
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Posted: Tue May 17, 2011 9:04 pm
Sorry. Don't mind this.
Once again, I've been going in and out of depression for about a month now. Probably started during the last week of April. Part of the time, I have no reason to feel depressed; I just am. I don't have anyone to turn to about it. Then again, I never go to anyone in the first place. I always get myself involved with my online friends to distract myself. And now that I'm done with school, I'm around them more often then usual. It's not working anymore. I'm trying, but I can seem to act like I used to around them. When I'm near them, I don't want to talk, but I also don't want to be alone. I can't talk to them about it, either. Not only would I be a bother to them, and give them something to worry about, it would only be a temporary solution in the end. I just finished school last week. I don't want to spend the next 80+ days like this.
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Posted: Wed May 18, 2011 2:58 am
Cannibal Horsey cave_dweller_candy why why why didn't i take kam and canni's advice? why did i go to school today? ; ____________________;.
/headpillows
I am a silly bean xC Though, I did get rest all of today =D
Kamok0 cave_dweller_candy why why why didn't i take kam and canni's advice? why did i go to school today? ; ____________________;.
/headpillows [=O *hugs* you should take it easy yus yus rest is more important =P[/quote] hugs back C=
you're right c:Thankyou Canni and Kammeh both <333
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Posted: Wed May 18, 2011 3:40 am
cave_dweller_candy Cannibal Horsey cave_dweller_candy why why why didn't i take kam and canni's advice? why did i go to school today? ; ____________________;.
/headpillows
I am a silly bean xC Though, I did get rest all of today =D
Kamok0 cave_dweller_candy why why why didn't i take kam and canni's advice? why did i go to school today? ; ____________________;.
/headpillows [=O *hugs* you should take it easy yus yus rest is more important =P[/quote] hugs back C=
you're right c:Thankyou Canni and Kammeh both <333
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Posted: Wed May 18, 2011 3:43 am
Maris Pallitax Cannibal Horsey Maris Pallitax Why? Why is he always the first one I go to when I get so stressed, and upset, and unhappy, that I'm literally sobbing uncontrollably? I kept it in for so long, but then, of course, something happens and I spiral into this miniature rage, spewing everything I've been unable to get out. At least I mostly keep it to a bare minimum... I always feel so much better when he's happy. Or when I'm depressed and he makes me feel better. Or when he asks how I am, and I can say that I'm happy... I wish I'd never gotten close to him, I wish I'd never crushed on him, I wish I'd never become friends with him, I wish I'd never fallen in love with him... I wish I'd never cared... because then, he'd never have to feel this way. I am so sorry...
I should have kept my mouth shut.. but I had nowhere else to go. Yes, yes I did have somewhere else to go. Here. But no. I had to selfishly take it out on him.
It's all my fault. And there is nothing I want to do about it. For once, I'm happy, and I ******** hate it.
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Posted: Wed May 18, 2011 5:32 am
I'm confused about my sexual orientation again... XD
I find something that seems right, and then something always happens and I'm like "Wait, no, THIS is the right one!" and now I don't know which ******** label to uuuuse!!
Maybe I should just go label-less and bite the head off of anyone who asks D<
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Posted: Wed May 18, 2011 3:22 pm
MewWhite Sorry. Don't mind this. Once again, I've been going in and out of depression for about a month now. Probably started during the last week of April. Part of the time, I have no reason to feel depressed; I just am. I don't have anyone to turn to about it. Then again, I never go to anyone in the first place. I always get myself involved with my online friends to distract myself. And now that I'm done with school, I'm around them more often then usual. It's not working anymore. I'm trying, but I can seem to act like I used to around them. When I'm near them, I don't want to talk, but I also don't want to be alone. I can't talk to them about it, either. Not only would I be a bother to them, and give them something to worry about, it would only be a temporary solution in the end. I just finished school last week. I don't want to spend the next 80+ days like this.
I'm having those moments of not talking to anyone at school since I know "he" [guy who hates gays but somehow I dodged his gaydar] might find out, though I trust my friends enough not to tell him directly.
So have any after school plans? Going to college? I hope you recover over time since I had feelings of depression but managed to have it controlled. But now tomorrow I'll really admit to my guidance counselor of my depression no matter how temporary it approaches. There has to be someone you can confide to.
Best of luck to ya! *hugs if I could through internet*
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Posted: Wed May 18, 2011 3:26 pm
Little Miss Fortune I'm confused about my sexual orientation again... XD
I find something that seems right, and then something always happens and I'm like "Wait, no, THIS is the right one!" and now I don't know which ******** label to uuuuse!!
Maybe I should just go label-less and bite the head off of anyone who asks D<
I gave up on labels ever since I told people I was gay, some of my gay classmates were joking about it such as "You're not gay, you're bi because no gay man would EVER dodge balls flying at his face during a Dodgeball Tournament! [happened afterschool for a fundraiser] to serious "You'll be one of those guys who comes out of the closet when he's 50, a wife probably divorced with 4 kids AND tapping in the bathroom with a page!".
Kinda pissed me off since I know I have a physical attraction to guys, they're hot o_o; But it's not about who you're attracted to, it's who you fall in love with. I remember my god brother who was gay fell in love with his friend due to their strong connection, months before he died of cancer Dx
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Posted: Wed May 18, 2011 4:29 pm
keito melfina Have an extra outlet or personal hobby? I'm thankful I tried origami, really helped me release out all the tensions of school, friends and love interests that didn't work out in the end.
I'm having those moments of not talking to anyone at school since I know "he" [guy who hates gays but somehow I dodged his gaydar] might find out, though I trust my friends enough not to tell him directly.
So have any after school plans? Going to college? I hope you recover over time since I had feelings of depression but managed to have it controlled. But now tomorrow I'll really admit to my guidance counselor of my depression no matter how temporary it approaches. There has to be someone you can confide to.
Best of luck to ya! *hugs if I could through internet*
I tend to be a jerk when I get depressed, so I avoid talking to people. That way, I don't accidentally get someone upset, or accidentally show that I'm not how I usually am. I'm starting to confide in my online friends more than I used to, since I've become more comfortable around them. XD It sounds weird, but I try to hold off when it comes to talking about myself, because I always feel like I'm a bother to them. They all have their own problems to worry about, so there's no reason for me to add on to it.
Well, I'm actually already in college, and just finished my first year. I opted out of taking summer courses, because I need a break in between the fall and spring classes. XD That, and I want to attend Otakon without having to worry about school related stuff. I normally manage my depression by keeping busy; doing class work and following a set schedule. Now that I don't have a schedule, there's nothing to do, which allows for me to become depressed more often.,
^^ I'm sure I'll be fine in the end. I've been dealing with this for years now, and I've always managed, somehow. XD Thanks for the response, Keito, and good luck with everything on your end, too. *hugs back*
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Posted: Wed May 18, 2011 5:08 pm
keito melfina Little Miss Fortune I'm confused about my sexual orientation again... XD
I find something that seems right, and then something always happens and I'm like "Wait, no, THIS is the right one!" and now I don't know which ******** label to uuuuse!!
Maybe I should just go label-less and bite the head off of anyone who asks D<
I gave up on labels ever since I told people I was gay, some of my gay classmates were joking about it such as "You're not gay, you're bi because no gay man would EVER dodge balls flying at his face during a Dodgeball Tournament! [happened afterschool for a fundraiser] to serious "You'll be one of those guys who comes out of the closet when he's 50, a wife probably divorced with 4 kids AND tapping in the bathroom with a page!".
Kinda pissed me off since I know I have a physical attraction to guys, they're hot o_o; But it's not about who you're attracted to, it's who you fall in love with. I remember my god brother who was gay fell in love with his friend due to their strong connection, months before he died of cancer Dx
Well, I'm capable of being attracted to pretty much anyone once I fall in love with them. That's why I probably fall somewhere between pansexual and panromantic demisexual... but I don't even know anymore XD
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