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 Posted: Sat May 14, 2011 5:12 pm
Cannibal Horsey cave_dweller_candy Cannibal Horsey cave_dweller_candy I'm leaving. And not gaia. I'm leaving school, I'm leaving home. I'm quitting. ******** neurosurgey. ******** school. Society has turned life into the biggest piece of bullshit. What is life, even? You ******** put up with crap all your life, then you die. And you can't even go back to the simpler times, ways of living. Well I can. And I'm going to. I'm going to live my life, the way I want to. We're all gonna die. But I'm not going to waste my life. I honestly, truly don't care what anyone thinks anymore. We're all just human. No one is better than me, nor worse. And I am free to do what I want.
Canni, I do not know how someone as amazing as you puts up with me.
<3333333333
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Posted: Sat May 14, 2011 6:09 pm
Ugh, how could I forget to get a cleaner for my regestry, no wonder it was running so laggy. Especially since I'm notorious for putting massive amounts of files on my comp only to delete them once I'm done with them.
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Posted: Sat May 14, 2011 8:12 pm
Checked grades. Apparenlty 1 - 1.5 pts away from an "A" in Physics and Calculus... please don't get mad, in truth I gave up school a long time ago.
Took up origami as a past time in order to see people smile, something that Straight A's in the 1st 9 weeks would never give me: closure and stable feelings. But the more important reason was for a guy I liked who was apparenlty straight despite his mannerisms. Oh well.
Now I killed my feelings for him by accepting the inevitability of a relationship for another person who's a Sophmore. Decided to make him a black dragon out of construction paper which is really tough to work with. Then got rejected.
Feeling stupid and low, and hopefully won't go lower than this crying
Constantly saying "College = it gets better" seems so far away, even though it's a few weeks til graduation. I don't know if I have enough patience to take it...
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Posted: Sat May 14, 2011 8:53 pm
I got my final grades. This is it. I'm done with high school. Completely this time. I'm getting my diploma with a 3.0 GPA when two years ago I didn't think I could get a diploma at all.
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 1:29 am
This is hard. Not knowing whats going on, whats going to happen... gah its stressing me the fudge out. And it shows.
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 5:59 am
cave_dweller_candy Cannibal Horsey cave_dweller_candy Cannibal Horsey cave_dweller_candy I'm leaving. And not gaia. I'm leaving school, I'm leaving home. I'm quitting. ******** neurosurgey. ******** school. Society has turned life into the biggest piece of bullshit. What is life, even? You ******** put up with crap all your life, then you die. And you can't even go back to the simpler times, ways of living. Well I can. And I'm going to. I'm going to live my life, the way I want to. We're all gonna die. But I'm not going to waste my life. I honestly, truly don't care what anyone thinks anymore. We're all just human. No one is better than me, nor worse. And I am free to do what I want.
Canni, I do not know how someone as amazing as you puts up with me.
<3333333333
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 6:01 am
That one night This is hard. Not knowing whats going on, whats going to happen... gah its stressing me the fudge out. And it shows. *snuggles* hope you're doing ok Night! Have you been to the hospital? What did they say? You gonna be fine soon right? And with the rest of it, I'm here for you to waffle and rant to anytime if you need me heart
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 9:46 am
Ughhh, why did you make me go to the Eastlake McDonald's?!?! Everyone else got to choose which one they went to (and even had a choice to take an unpaid leave of absence, which I was never offered). We had less than 10 people eat inside during the entire time I was there. You don't ******** need someone to exclusively do lobby for 6 hours when we have one customer sitting there reading a newspaper. I feel guilty just standing around, like I shouldn't be getting paid for doing nothing. In Willowick, I was able to stay busy the entire time. But that isn't even POSSIBLE here. This is going to be the longest summer of my life gonk
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 7:52 pm
Why do you have to be so unfair to me >.< I'm so happy until I hear about you, and then all these thoughts come up. What if you had died in that wreck with your drunk whores? I know we don't talk anymore, but I can't lose you. I can't see you with her. I can't see you period. I don't think I could handle it. I absolutely adore him, but you.. you make it so hard to be happy and we aren't even together anymore. You're such an a*****e. an complete and utter a*****e. you were terrible to me.. almost hit me.. more than once.. and you almost died and I can't think of anything other than "what if the last thing I had said to you was 'I hate you'?" I couldn't live with myself.. i just couldn't. I'm tired of you acting like you aren't ******** her. just say it. it'd make it so much easier. everyone knows you are. I'm sure her boyfriend does too. I'm scared to hang out with my bestfriend because I think i might get too drunk, and see you and do something terrible. >.< I still care about you. more than I want to, more than I should, but.. i can't help it. I think I always will. I don't know what to do. I'm so scared you'll ruin things with him. he's so perfect for me. so. very. perfect. please.just disappear for awhile?
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 7:53 pm
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 8:28 pm
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 8:33 pm
I, Flaratia, have been addicted to the internet for 10 years. I haven't yet solved what has been ailing me for those 10 years.
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 8:59 pm
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Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 1:59 am
I went searching through my physics binder to find the front page of the lab I need to turn in today. Thinking I probably shoved it in a pocket someplace I went through the entire thing looking for it, and I had the oddest experience when I found old work. The best way to describe it; it didn't look like it was mine. I went through more papers and worksheets, and I felt the same thing. I honestly had no recollection of ever doing them. The only way I knew it was actually my work: It had my handwriting, and my name. Other than that the sheets were completely foreign. The concepts on the worksheet, I had had to reteach myself before the final and the AP exam. Then it was completely new to me, even though I knew I had to have had done it earlier in the year. Now I've found my proof, but it just goes to show how much I hate that class. How accelerated it is. The entire idea that in only a couple of months I could completely forget concepts and equations I had spent days learning is just mind boggling.
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