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 Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 10:04 am
Little Miss Fortune CH0Z0 She said no. I knew that would be the answer.
WHAT?!?!? I thought for SURE she would say yes!!!!!! DDDDDDD=
Did she give a reason? Are you still going to be friends? Is it just a "not yet" or a "not ever?" WHY ARE YOU NOT ON SKYPE?!?!? T____Tthis this thisss D: ^^^^^^
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 12:07 pm
So, I'm pretty sure it's over. I guess he just didn't feel the need to tell me that he was breaking up with me, and I was supposed to pick up on it when he stopped talking to me -_-
I love him more than anything in the entire universe. I doubt he'll ever find someone else who's capable of the kind of complete, unconditional love that I have for him. I hope he does, because I do want him to be happy, but it doesn't really seem possible. Our love was a once in a lifetime kind of love. Well, at least my love for him was. But I guess he never actually loved me at all in the first place...
I feel so crushed, I can't even put it into words. I get all the pain of a breakup without any of the closure, since he still hasn't spoken to me. How long do I wait before giving up? Am I stupid for even hanging on this long? Even if he decided he wanted to be with me, would he deserve that? Or should putting me through this hell mean he blew it? I don't know what to do. I want to hate him so badly for doing this, but I still love him so much T_____________T
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 9:52 pm
Ugh Pick your goddamn battle. I need to remember that.
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Posted: Thu May 05, 2011 3:59 am
Little Miss Fortune So, I'm pretty sure it's over. I guess he just didn't feel the need to tell me that he was breaking up with me, and I was supposed to pick up on it when he stopped talking to me -_-
I love him more than anything in the entire universe. I doubt he'll ever find someone else who's capable of the kind of complete, unconditional love that I have for him. I hope he does, because I do want him to be happy, but it doesn't really seem possible. Our love was a once in a lifetime kind of love. Well, at least my love for him was. But I guess he never actually loved me at all in the first place...
I feel so crushed, I can't even put it into words. I get all the pain of a breakup without any of the closure, since he still hasn't spoken to me. How long do I wait before giving up? Am I stupid for even hanging on this long? Even if he decided he wanted to be with me, would he deserve that? Or should putting me through this hell mean he blew it? I don't know what to do. I want to hate him so badly for doing this, but I still love him so much T_____________T
I know he's the one who is gonna talk to you first, but if he's left it this long can you try to get hold of him and just say, "you've got to make the decision and you've got to say it. Because I need you to."?
Also, if he's not talked to you in months, I'm sorry but you deserve better, at least in my opinion. You're a lovely person, and to be left hanging on for that long is just a bit cruel if you ask me.
And you're not stupid or anything for hanging on, because when you love someone you don't want to give up, not matter what. But sometimes we just have to move on. I know it's hard. I know it seems damn horrible because you love them so much, but you can move on. You can find someone else (if you so wish) and you can be just as happy if not happier with someone else sometimes.
I know this is horrible for you. God I know my complaining earlier is nothing. But sweetie, he really shouldn't leave you hanging like this for so long. My ex didn't speak to me for at least a month and a half before we broke up, and well, it drove me crazy. In the end I couldn't take the not knowing, and now I've moved on, and well, things are going as well as can be expected when your boyfriend is possibly part Sloth. *huggles*
Also, if any of this comes across and mean, or anything its really not meant to. I'm just trying to help out.
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Posted: Thu May 05, 2011 4:41 am
Cannibal Horsey Little Miss Fortune So, I'm pretty sure it's over. I guess he just didn't feel the need to tell me that he was breaking up with me, and I was supposed to pick up on it when he stopped talking to me -_-
I love him more than anything in the entire universe. I doubt he'll ever find someone else who's capable of the kind of complete, unconditional love that I have for him. I hope he does, because I do want him to be happy, but it doesn't really seem possible. Our love was a once in a lifetime kind of love. Well, at least my love for him was. But I guess he never actually loved me at all in the first place...
I feel so crushed, I can't even put it into words. I get all the pain of a breakup without any of the closure, since he still hasn't spoken to me. How long do I wait before giving up? Am I stupid for even hanging on this long? Even if he decided he wanted to be with me, would he deserve that? Or should putting me through this hell mean he blew it? I don't know what to do. I want to hate him so badly for doing this, but I still love him so much T_____________T
I know he's the one who is gonna talk to you first, but if he's left it this long can you try to get hold of him and just say, "you've got to make the decision and you've got to say it. Because I need you to."?
Also, if he's not talked to you in months, I'm sorry but you deserve better, at least in my opinion. You're a lovely person, and to be left hanging on for that long is just a bit cruel if you ask me.
And you're not stupid or anything for hanging on, because when you love someone you don't want to give up, not matter what. But sometimes we just have to move on. I know it's hard. I know it seems damn horrible because you love them so much, but you can move on. You can find someone else (if you so wish) and you can be just as happy if not happier with someone else sometimes.
I know this is horrible for you. God I know my complaining earlier is nothing. But sweetie, he really shouldn't leave you hanging like this for so long. My ex didn't speak to me for at least a month and a half before we broke up, and well, it drove me crazy. In the end I couldn't take the not knowing, and now I've moved on, and well, things are going as well as can be expected when your boyfriend is possibly part Sloth. *huggles*
Also, if any of this comes across and mean, or anything its really not meant to. I'm just trying to help out.
I have tried to contact him. I tried calling, I tried IMing him, I tried e-mailing him... He's avoiding me. I don't even know if he's still considering things or if he's just too much of a coward to end it for real. I really thought he was better than this =/
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Posted: Thu May 05, 2011 5:50 am
Kamok0 @Cave- *hugs Cave* the skype offer still stands =/
It means a lot to know you're there for me. You're a great friend, Kam. =]
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Posted: Thu May 05, 2011 6:09 am
cave_dweller_candy Kamok0 @Cave- *hugs Cave* the skype offer still stands =/
It means a lot to know you're there for me. You're a great friend, Kam. =]
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Posted: Thu May 05, 2011 11:05 am
So my mother might have a micro-fracture in one of her foot bones. The x-rays don't show anything, but the foot is behaving like it's broken. So, of course, she's having this whole pity party and is looking for [more] special attention. This from the woman who doesn't do much for herself anyhow. I'm not having any of it. In 2006, I broke the second metatarsal of my left foot during PE. Have you ever had to take an Adv. Chem. Honors test with a throbbing foot that was only getting worse? Damn distracting, that. My fracture had been clearly defined on the x-rays and required first a stiff splint with crutches and then a walking boot which had immobilized my foot and ankle. So, yes, I know what a situation worse than hers feels like! And still having to serve her through that. She just has a velcro shoe because it's so inconclusive. Nope, not sorry for her at all.
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Posted: Thu May 05, 2011 12:20 pm
I think I'm slowly getting addicted to sleeping pills. .___.'
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Posted: Thu May 05, 2011 6:01 pm
What more do I have to do?T^T
I just don't know sometimes
Im tired so I stay quiet
But I really wish there was an easy or a better way but even if there is its not enough =/
maybe things will repeat
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Posted: Thu May 05, 2011 6:37 pm
Don't do it.
Don't ******** do it.
You have no reason to freaking crash on me.
This is not the damn time for you to run out.
I don't give a s**t if you stopped producing the chemicals that make you feel normal. This is not the time for you to fail on me.
I have two more APs. We have two more APs. You need to be in peak condition or we're in a worse situation.
I can't handle a damn crash right now. A crash will ruin us.
I won't go back on them, they make me feel not right. They make me feel off. No point in being on them if they don't make me feel the way they're supposed to.
I need you to keep working. I need you to be able to perform. I need you to be able to do everything, and I can't let you break down.
After this we can party as much as you want, just get me through testing season.
Stay focused. Stay dedicated. You have no reason to do this, so don't, just freaking don't.
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2011 12:43 am
Happyish secret for once, not worth a thread, but I wanted to share it somewhere.
So. My sister is a nerdy/geeky person from the 80's. She's already claiming that new geeks/nerdstuff is too geeky for her after listening to me talk 'internet language' and doesn't want to go any farther into the geekiness after watching trololo (she hated it) and Double Rainbow (which she refuses to admit was worth watching to kill those brain cells).
Instead of allowing her to turn down watching any more Lonely Island songs or, in this first case, the sexophone.swf, I am changing her homepage.
Here's to hoping she doesn't stab me with her sporknife (and yes, she does have one) and it makes her laugh like the rest of the links did.
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2011 8:19 am
@ LMF, all I can say is he's sounding like a bit of an a** right now. You're right, he should be better than this. Treating you the way he has, there is no excuse in my mind. *huggles*
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2011 8:48 am
Venting below. Read at your own discretion.
OK, I'm overreacting when I say this, but I have so many problems, and it makes me unsure as to who I am as a person. I think my major issue is that I have little to none self-esteem. What probably started it was when I found out I had eczema back in the fourth grade. Well, I was already known for being a crybaby back then, due to my sensitivity issues, but the eczema was the icing on the cake. And as you know, children can be very cruel: Most of the time, if I wasn't being ostracized from my classmates, I was told that I was sick, and shouldn't be near everyone. I was teased so much for it back then, since the eczema was apparent, I tried to stay away from those who couldn't understand it. Back then, I unknowingly scratch the folds of my arms, more so if I was stressed; which was fairly often. I was told that it was disgusting, even though I couldn't help it. Hell, even one of the teachers in my high school made fun of it at one point. It wasn't as bad as it was when I first got it, but you could see the discoloration. It is fine now, but I still can't feel good enough about it to wear anything less than a hoodie, t-shirt and jeans out in public.
Another one of my issues is that I don't feel loved at home. My mom and her family aren't the touchy-feely type of people. My dad and his family though, are. Back before my parents split up 13 years ago, I would hear about how my day was in school, or asked what was wrong when I was upset. But after living with my mom since then, my two sisters and I all stopped talking about anything dealing with emotions. I cannot go to my mom and tell her why I was upset or whatever. I have to talk to my aunt on my dad's side for that. My mom's been putting up so much crap from me for so long, she acts indifferent or cold to me whenever I acted out. So, I never let her know what's wrong. It's too late to look for love at home, and the only way I could find some, is to branch away and look for it in someone else. But because I have low self-esteem, and I'm too damned shy and afraid of being rejected by others, I don't try. Being constantly pushed away because of my looks back when I needed someone the most has gotten me to the point of being afraid to be hated by others. That's probably why I'm so nice to people. You can't hate nice people, right?
I was told recently that I should be happy. At this point, I don't know how. I don't think about how I feel, or what I deserve in life. I just live day by day focusing on what needs to be done. That way, I don't get upset like how I am now. I could have slept a bit more for the time it took me to type this all out. That would be better time spent.
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2011 2:39 pm
I realized that I still have a long way to go if I want to accomplish my dream, I'm not going to reach it if I spend all my free time here...it's time that I took a hiatus to study on how to become a truly better writer. *Is burning with flames of determination.*
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