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It's only in German with English subtitles either in the clip or to the side.

Is German sentence structure the exact same as in English (I can't imagine that being the case)?

Like would the sentence "Ich Habe zwei schwesterm" be correct. Or "Meine mutti sie braucht noch ein Stuhl oder das Sofa."

Are my word orders correct?

Oh dear, SVO xd
In my English Language class last year, one of our German exchange students put up his hand and said 'SVO, we have that in Germany too, it stands for Straßenverkehrsordnung!'

It's the Highway Code.

Most of that proves your teacher is an idiot, but with the translation of "Ich heisse," I can see where she's coming from.

You wouldn't use "heisse" to mean 'to call' in other contexts, and there is another verb that could translate more closely to 'being called' something (nennen).
For example:
"Mein Freund nennt mich Senfa, aber ich heisse Olivia."
would generally be translated
My friend calls me Senfa, but my name is Olivia.

Not necessarily. In fact I would say 'nennen' is more like 'to name (sth.)' - but can mean many similar things, including 'to state' or 'to designate'. In fact it doesn't have multiple meanings - it has the same meaning but can be used in many different contexts. Think of it like someone 'stating' the name of someone else.

What you have said so far is right, but there is more than one way of expressing it. You could also put it this way:
'Wir nannten unsere Tochter Elise.' - 'We named our daughter Elise.'
compared to: 'Unsere Tochter heisst Elise.' - 'Our daughter is called Elise.'

'Heissen' is a word that does have a double meaning - 'to be called' or 'to mean'. When you use it to say 'Ich heisse ____', it's other meaning is irrelevant.

If you want it put the simple way, neither of them mean 'my name is' and both mean 'I am called.'

If you wanted something to mean 'my name is' you would actually have to put it literally - 'Mein Name ist'.

I hope the way I have explained this makes sense. sweatdrop

Today, I was bored in Spanish and decided to write some German sentences(oh the irony). Here they are:

Ich verste mein Schwester.

Wann sie geht die Kirche?

Wir kaufen das Hause.

Donald Trump er kauft das Hauser. (w/ umlat over the 'a')

Mein Brutter er sprecht nicht Deutsch aber mein Schwester sie sprecht nicht viel Deutsch.
How are they grammatically? I have the sneaking suspicion that the sentence structure is wrong...

@frohesmaedchen: Yes, BYKI's a fairly good resource for basic vocab and phrases, but alas, it covers almost nothing of grammar (for any of its available languages). Great for pronunciation, though, as I'm at least 90% certain their speakers are natives. It was a great help to me...although the finicky "type in your answer" quizzes were seriously, seriously flawed.

@PiercedPixie2: The Wikipedia article for Pennsylvania Dutch should have some resourceful links at the bottom of the page.

@apiyo (post 1):
Well, the sentences you wrote are understandable, I'll give you that much. wink Here's how they should look, assuming I'm correctly getting at what you were trying to say:

Ich verstehe meine Schwester. (I understand my sister.)
1 - 'versteh' is the root of the verb 'verstehen', and most verbs take a -e ending in the 'ich' form.
2 - 'Schwester' is a feminine word, so 'meine' is used in place of 'mein'.

Wann geht sie zur Kirche? (When is she going to the church?)
1 - when forming a question, the verb typically comes before the object.
2 - 'zu', meaning 'to', is combined with the dative form of 'die', which is 'der' - this provides the contraction 'zur', meaning 'to the'.

Wir kaufen das Haus. (We're buying the house.)
1 - Haus is spelled without an -e, but the rest of that sentence is fine.

Donald Trump kauft die Haeuser. (Donald Trump is buying the houses.)
1 - you can omit 'er' because with 'Donald Trump', the subject of the sentence is already established (it'd be like saying in English "Donald Trump he buys the houses").
2 - like the article 'la' pluralizes to 'las' in Spanish, 'das' pluralizes to 'die'.
3 - remember: when you are unable to use an umlaut because of computer issues, substitute 'ä' with 'ae', 'ö' with 'oe' and 'ü' with 'ue'.

Mein Bruder spricht Deutsch nicht, aber spricht meine Schwester ein bisschen Deutsch. (My brother doesn't speak German, but my sister speaks a little bit of German. [Right?])
1 - again, 'Bruder' establishes the subject, so 'er' is redundant; same thing with 'Schwester' and 'sie'.
2 - 'sprechen', 'to speak', is a strong verb - the stem vowel, E, changes to I in the 'du' and 'er/sie' forms - thus 'sprecht' becomes 'spricht'.
3 - to say that 'my brother doesn't speak German but my sister doesn't speak very much German' sounds a little odd; if you're aiming to say 'a little', use 'ein bisschen' - it literally means the same as English's 'a little bit (of)'.
4 - German word order is pretty flexible, so don't feel like you're obligated to carry on the SVO order as if Big Brother were monitoring your sentence structures.

@apiyo (post 2):
Visit ielanguages.com . It is by far one of the most useful sites you'll ever find pertaining to the grammar of Indo-European languages. There should be a section in the German lessons about reflexive verbs which provides a list of them.