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 Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 4:02 pm
The girl that I've been dating for almost 2 months now is leaving on Friday to move to Texas because her mom doesn't want to "put up" with her anymore. I'm kind of angry because I really think that I might love this girl, but its hard to say anything because love is a word that i don't like throwing around. Sam's not even fighting her mom about it, she's just going ahead with it and not really caring. it makes me think she doesn't care for me in that way, or maybe she thinks that her mother is unreasonable and won't change her mind, but I don't know. This is hard but I really want Sam to just be happy.
rant accomplished, farewell.
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Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 4:30 pm
I was looking through some of my old LJ archives, and almost all of it made me cringe, but there were a few posts in particular that made me really think "ew, what a stereotypical 13-year-old girl I was back then. gonk "
Until I realized...sure, it was only a little of it, but I was stereotypical! Something about me was right! That's so incredible. I wish I acted even that little tiny bit like a stereotypical 19-year-old now.
I guess since I don't even consider myself a girl anymore, there really is no stereotype...I have no ideal to hold myself to. Now that I think about it, it's depressing. sad
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Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 4:36 pm
The phrase "Have a wank!Have a kitkat" is now stuck in my head, thanksies Gaia
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Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 5:46 pm
I still have a lot of growing up to do. I've changed in the past 3 and a half years since I've been out of high school, but it still hasn't been enough. I've had to go through the phases of socialization that I never did when I was in elementary, middle OR high school. I was never responsible enough as a kid and I'm not responsible enough as a college student. I never failed terribly but I never put my all into anything that I've done. I was diagnosed with ADD as a kid and I think it's coming to bite me in the a**. Is it that that makes me feel like I'm never good enough, never motivated, or is it really just my own fault for not trying?
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Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 11:16 pm
One of my best friends, who I also dated like 4 years ago, is jealous of my not-boyfriend. This is awkward. gonk
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Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 11:32 pm
The term love is an odd one. I don't know when it's right to use it, at what point is a great like considered love? Or maybe I'm just really hesitant to call it love until I know wether he likes me or not ._.
I think that might be the case, so in short I guess it's a defense mechanism. I don't want to get hurt, so I think of it as just a crush until feelings are confirmed. And now I'm thinking slightly philosophically, because I've typed this up am I acknowledging that I might love him rather then just like? If that's so I guess I should get on with the whole confessing feelings things.
I've learned the hard way that the longer you wait the harder it is to decide to cross that border between being friends with someone, and telling them you like them. Last time I failed to even mention it, and have just stayed friends with him. I don't want that to happen again. Wish me luck please guys, I think I'm going to ask him out. If I do so you'll probably know, 'cause I'll either post here all depressed like or extremely happy. I hope for the latter, and dread the possibility of the former. Now to only decide the when of it...
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 2:52 am
I usually complain about having to get up at 6 or 7 for school or work. Today, I have a (very rare) day off, and when do I wake up? Before 5 xd
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 4:20 am
@Flara- *hugs* motivation like inspiration can come and go, Im not sure what You'd like to do in college but Im sure workwise and college wise its amatter of finding something you love ehh, I doubt its your own fault, if remember isn't it hard to get work over there atm?
@Shiori-Whats a not boyfriend?is it a boyfriend whos pretending to be your boyfriend but not really?
@Jiko- Goodluck! I hope everything goes well for you *Hugs* Its alright to love =], it usually a large leap to take but worth it so you'll never have a "what if" in your mind heh
@Fortune- XD I kind of do that to But its good to heear you got the day off, I hope it goes well and take it easy =]
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 5:39 am
CleoSombra cave_dweller_candy Jenni's avi is fantastic =D I'm doing terribly with my irl social life because I despise everyone my age. x-x
Is it that you don't like people your age or that you don't like people in general?
I don't mean this in the anti-social-I'm-going-to-go-live-under-a-bridge type of thing. I mean this more of a "I'm really not into building and maintaining friendships" type thing. Like . . . there are people who can and will go up to just about everyone and want to make friends, but then there are those of us . . . who really can't be bothered.
LIke (I don't mean to take this into a thing about me, but it has been on my mind and maybe it can help), I often avoid the cafeteria because it's just an awkward place. Sometimes I feel lonely because I have no one to eat with, but often when I do go, I see people I'm semi-friends with, but I really don't want to sit with them. I just want to be alone. I'm really a very low-maintenance friend type person. The friends that I do have here . . . often spend a LOT of time together, whether it's hanging out in their rooms or the library or cafeteria, and I'm just not that type of person. So I end up not having a lot of friendships. The bonds that I have with others disappear because the bonds they have with other people are so much stronger that I just fade away and feel like a fifth wheel - because ultimately, I am.
Kamastr0 @Cave- heh I kind of do too heh/Atleast around here x----x
I found out today the people who talk to me the most in RL are in 20's-70's
Maybe because I spend so much time talking to people older than me, everyone my age just seems . . . . gah in comparison?
I just hate this DxEdit: Oh my gosh, I sound like such a b***h in this. Dx
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 5:42 am
I'm going to the doctors next week. I don't really want to, put I need to get this sorted. And if seeing the doctor is the only way, then so be it
(this is gonna make so little sense to so many people) XD
@ Cave, DO NOT
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 5:52 am
I do too. D:Cannibal Horsey I'm going to the doctors next week. I don't really want to, put I need to get this sorted. And if seeing the doctor is the only way, then so be it
(this is gonna make so little sense to so many people) XD
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 5:55 am
cave_dweller_candy I do too. D:Cannibal Horsey I'm going to the doctors next week. I don't really want to, put I need to get this sorted. And if seeing the doctor is the only way, then so be it
(this is gonna make so little sense to so many people) XD
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 5:58 am
Cannibal Horsey cave_dweller_candy I do too. D:Cannibal Horsey I'm going to the doctors next week. I don't really want to, put I need to get this sorted. And if seeing the doctor is the only way, then so be it
(this is gonna make so little sense to so many people) XD
Mmkay <3
Try have a good day D:
I might still be up studying, so I'll try get back to you asap C: <333
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 11:02 am
THERE'S A LABEL THAT MEANS WHAT I WANT IT TO MEAN!
And I don't think it's a false alarm this time XD
Panromantic demisexual >w<
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 12:01 pm
Wow. I'm being completely ignored. Again. I'm sure there's plenty of times when most of you have nothing to say, but that doesn't excuse those of you who make a point of responding to everyone, even if it's just a little comment.
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