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I saw very little difference between the failed mission and the revised one. You're supposed to be sneaky during the mission (read bolded part in objectives), not making loud noises, killing guards, and sitting there talking to your Pokemon. You did fix up the battle some. Still a fail, but if you revise this, sneak in.

*hears Sport*
Noo! Isn't it obvious? He hates PINK!

*grabs a pink and starts scribbling on Yuki's head*
You're right! ^-^ razz

Me: Hmmm... I need to take a picture of this
*Hunter pulls out a digital camera and takes a picture of Draking and ShadowCat coloring on Yuki*
Me: This memory should last smile

*doesn't turn from coloring*
Hmm...........as soon as we're done ya should take a picture of the colered Yuki (probably) trying to destroy the crayons. Someone make sure he can't get to a sink! or any water!
*speaks to Yuki*
Think of it as a cheap way of getting a color ball.

Yuki:This ends NOW! stressed
*Hydro pumps Shadowcat off*
Yuki:AHHH!!!
*picks up the pink crayon that she was holding and starts coloring on Draking's face*
Yuki:How do you like that!

Mission- Birch's First Break-in
Any Team Aqua member is asked to go to Prof. Birch's lab in Littleroot and steal one of his three pokemon (Treeko, Torchic, Mudkip). You must sneak in at night. But don't get caught by Prof. Birch or his assistant. At some point you must battle the pokemon you stole/are stealing, if you want to catch it.

Pokemon:
Treecko
Torchic
Mudkip

Funds upon completion: 300
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I woke up to my alarm clock ringing my ears off. I got up, looking around my room as I did so. I knew it was messy. I knew I would need to clean it soon. I decided on a time then. I would do it later, after I got back from my mission.

I wanted to complete my team. I had Treecko and Combusken, but I hadn't gotten a Mudkip yet. I knew I would eventually want one anyways, and decided to get one while I had the chance.

I left my room, jumping down the stairs. I sent my Manectric out, and we both sat down and ate breakfast. After we finished, I went over to the sink and cleaned our plates off, then we went outside to go to Professor Birch's lab.

"Vibrava, come on out!" I said. When Vibrava came out, I told it to fly us to Professor Birch's lab. It rose into the air, and we were away.

A few minutes later, we landed just outside of Professor Birch's lab. I hopped off of Vibrava's back and returned it to it's Pokeball. "Now, let's go find that Mudkip!" I yelled. Manectric and I ran inside, and we were immediately seen by a guard. He started to run towards us, but I ran forward and took him out of the fight.

A few minutes later, we were seen by another guard. I ran forward and punched him in the face, and he punched back, but Manectric rammed into him and knocked him out.

"Gorsh Manectric! This isn't bowling!" I said.

"Close enough." he replied. "Actually, I LIKE being a bowling ball. I get to ram other Pokemon, take out humans, you know, fun stuff like that."

"Fun? You call that fun?" I asked him. "That's hardly fun. Now I'll tell you whats fun. Something fun is sledding down an icy hill and going flying off of a 'ramp.' Now that's my definition of fun."

We walked on a bit, but that was the end of that talk. We eventually got into another talk, which was arguing about the best game console. I obviously won, forcing the truth upon him the the Wii was the best. "I mean, c'mon! It's not every generation you get to play with motion-sensors" is what I actually said.

"No, you're right there. But the PlayStation3 has HD! You can't beat that." he replied.

"They bought that. Nintendo actually developed the motion-sensoring." I answered. He had no more thoughts on the subject, and was quiet again.

We continued to walk on, now in silence, and eventually reached another three-way hallway. We turned right, and we found another turn coming up again, but this time we turned left. At the next turn, we turned left again, then kept going straight for a while. Soon enough, we saw a door at the end of the hallway.

Manectric ran over to it first, and I got there next, panting the whole way. I tried the knob. It was locked. I looked at Manectric, and he nodded. He let out a bolt of electricity, and soon enough the lock was gone. I opened the door, and it was hot. Right after opening it, I took my hand off of it, looking down at the singed part.

"Gah! That hurt!" I said, flinging my hand all around, trying to shake the burn off. "I'm NEVER touching a doorknob that's just been electricuted again. ESPECIALLY if it's been electricuted by YOU."

"Yeah, well, that's life." Manectric said. It slipped past me and started sprinting down the hall. I shouted after it to stop, and soon found myself surrounded by electricity.

"Umm...I didn't mean it like that. I meant it like, 'Wait up for me!' You were just going to fast. By the way, you can stop with the electricity now." The electricity around me stopped, and Manectric was no longer cackling with electricity. "On the other hand, could you scout ahead?"

Manectric went forward to look ahead, but I made sure to keep him in my sight. I didn't want much trouble in this lab, but I knew eventually there would be some. I watched Manectric turn a corner, and then turned it myself.

I saw a giant doorway standing there. I figured this was where Birch was keeping the Pokemon, in a secluded room, after my last attack at Oak's lab, so I went forward and tried the knob. It turned some of the way, then stopped. I tried again, and this time it opened all the way. I slipped through the door, and Manectric slipped through after me.

I sent out Koffing for a few seconds and told it use Smokescreen, which it did. After that I immediately returned it, then ran into the smoke. I heard no coughing, and I looked around. I pulled a Pokeball from my belt: this Mudkip needed to see one of its fellow starters against it. I threw the Pokeball, and out came my Treecko.

"Treecko Tree!" it said, ready to battle. I walked forward to the desk, opening the closed briefcase slowly. After easing it open, I saw three Pokeballs. In front of each was a sign with each Pokemon's name on it; Torchic in the middle, Treecko on the left, and Mudkip on the right. I picked up the Mudkip Pokeball and threw it. A Mudkip appeared, saw me, and knew I was an intruder.

"C'mere little Mudkip." I teased. "Come and get your new daddy." Mudkip jumped at me, flailing its little claws as it flew. "Oww!" I yelled, holding my forehead, which was where I was scratched. I swiped at the Mudkip, but it dodged the attack. "Treecko, get it!"

Treecko flipped in the air, then brought its tail down on Mudkip. "Yeah!" I yelled. "Keep it up!" Treecko flipped up again, but before it could hit Mudkip, Mudkip shot a jet of water right into Treecko's face.

"Treecko!" it said in anger. It jumped towards Mudkip again, this time watching for a sign of a Water Gun. Receiving no sign of any sort, it kept on moving, but Mudkip shot a late Water Gun. It whacked Treecko in the face again, and Treecko fell to the floor.

"Treecko get up!" I yelled. When Treecko got up, I told it to use Solarbeam. It started charging, and Mudkip started preparing for an even more deadly Water Gun. They both attacked at the same time, and the beams collided. Mudkip pushed towards Treecko at first, but then Treecko way overpowered it and broke through, sending Mudkip flying backwards. Mudkip got up, but by then, I had thrown my Pokeball. It flew towards Mudkip, who was standing perfectly still.

Shake, shake, shake.
Shake, shake, shake.
Shake, shake, shake.
Ding!

"Yes! I caught I Mudkip!" I yelled. I returned Treecko, then Manectric and I started out of the room with our new prize.

An alarm started to go off as we got out of the room, and I knew I had triggered a security camera or something.

"Oh drat." I said. "Just what I needed. Security on my tail while I try to get out."

"Hey, at least you got me." Manectric said. We both started running towards the exit, but a wall of guards saw us and blocked our way. We turned around to go the other way, but it was blocked too. Our only hope was that Manectric could blast them out of the way.

"Manectric, do it!" I yelled. The guards were closing in on us, and we had precious little time. "They're about to get us, now just do it!" Manectric finally obeyed, and he sparked the guards, knocking them all down. Manectric made a graceful leap over them, but as I was running, one caught me and cuffed me to a pipe on the wall. "Manectric!" I yelled. Manectric turned back to see the rest of the guards converging on me, and he shocked them too.

Manectric ran back to me, staring at the cuff on my leg. He tried to bite it off first, but couldn't. Next he tried several ideas, none of which worked. Finally we both knew what we had to do. He would have to break the cuff using Thunder. He attacked, but I couldn't stand the pain. I was free, but stunned, paralyzed from the powerful attack. Manectric blasted a hole in the ceiling and brought my Vibrava out, trying to haul me on before more guards arrived. He got me on, but the guards were hot on our tail. He jumped up, and I caught him in my arms.

Vibrava took off, and we were away. We flew over everything on our way back to HQ, and I looked at all of the scenery. When we got back, I crawled over to the couch and sat down, resting from my long journey. It was rough, and several people had been injured seriously. I hoped that none of the guards who had swarmed me had been injured badly.

I took out my Pokeball and brought out my new Mudkip. I let Mudkip out, and it blinked at me, watching me while also inspecting its new surroundings. When it saw me make no move however, it stalked off to look at every new thing.

I looked around at Mudkip, watching it sniff at the table, at Hunter's room, even take a sniff at Draking, who didn't kindly to that. Mudkip ran behind the couch and back to me as it was scared of Draking. I picked it up and set it on my lap. I even got down and started playing with it, which was not something I would normally do, but hey: it would find that out eventually.
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Mission COMPLETE!!!

*Sport drops the crayons and pulls Yuki away from Draking*
Me: Stop that!
*Sport checks on Draking, then sets Manectric to make sure Yuki doesn't cause any trouble*
Me: I'm going to find some permanent markers!
*Sport runs off and starts looking for permanent markers*