|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 12:46 pm
epic-writer42 Should I be worried that my niece finds me playing oblivion funny, funny at how I make one liners when I kill one of the giant rats from behind?...I should see about giving her the talk on how violence is bad in real life and how she should never use it. I don't think you need to worry about it so long as she knows the difference between real and pretend and I think most kinds are better at that than adults. Too bad you're an Argonian right now. If you were a Kajit, I'd say run around punching deer and see what she thinks of that. My kids thought it was hilarious, especially the noise they make. It took them minute to realize what I was doing then "Holy crap! Mommy are you punching the deer?!" I suppose you can do it as an Argonian, but it takes a little longer to get their speed up and I don't know what kind of spells you have or where your stats are at. Unlike the majority of the kids in the neighborhood, my kids don't go out looking for fights or try to solve things with violence so if the presence of violent video games has effected them it can't have been in an apreciable negative way
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 1:02 pm
Kamastr0
I feel as though I don't belong anywhere
I have my results yet no confirmation,
I'm frustrated, sad ... -__-
*I think all that is plenty obvious*
I don't know, I'm trying to help everyone and I just don't know sometimes I want to scream and cry soo much
because I can no longer believe/comprehend wtf is going on,
I have this gang after me, I have a condition
I cant fight yet I have to fight
wtf am I supposed to do?
I have no idea, I really don't, I feel like I really just don't belong and I just want to find that place, find that bippy happy place to fuel me with energy to make that smile appear on my face
a Place where I don't have to put effort into, A place where people can just be straight forward, no lies because I need peace I don't need a false peace or a lie
Im just sick and tired of things
I m glad I ve been able to make/help some people
although I ve obviously failed many others and let them down
Then again I have a massive wound and a few many scars and a trust issue that I ve just kept hidden yet I work my a** off to make it not so visible heh,
I didn't notice or realize until today I have a hard time forgiving, I cant forgive some people, I say no problem I take them blame and hurt on my shoulders and act like its all ok, yet its not
I wont bring it up again why?because it will also be negative vs negative, a battle, an argument, why?Because people rather you suffer sometimes so they may block everything out and then come back to you and go "Whats wrong?", when its clearly bloody obvious whats wrong -__-
Its like for ********, you know I pretty much argue every ******** day yet you just seem to add to it, it all just pissses me off, Im not necessarily a kind person I guess
But how can one forgive or be aided by a person who is honestly faceless or quick to attack you in the back ? -__-
I m just confused I think the continuous bombardment of bad juju and me folding it and putting it under the carpet this week so I can grant some peoples wishes is taking its toll on me
can you get away to scream or cry? sometime that can help some people, but not if everyone freaks out about screaming.
A lot of therapists say that forgiveness is necessary but i really don't believe that. In my life I have found some things are unforgivable and pretending things are okay and lying to myself or others won't do anyone any favors. If you don't forgive some things I think that's perfectly fine. It means you have some values and morals you never compromise and I don't see why that would be bad. So don't be to hard on yourself about it, okay?
Sometimes you need to be upset and angry and hurt, whether people want you to be or not. Sometimes that's the only way to being able to start feeling a little better.
*more hugs*
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 1:02 pm
kittycross epic-writer42 Should I be worried that my niece finds me playing oblivion funny, funny at how I make one liners when I kill one of the giant rats from behind?...I should see about giving her the talk on how violence is bad in real life and how she should never use it. I don't think you need to worry about it so long as she knows the difference between real and pretend and I think most kinds are better at that than adults. Too bad you're an Argonian right now. If you were a Kajit, I'd say run around punching deer and see what she thinks of that. My kids thought it was hilarious, especially the noise they make. It took them minute to realize what I was doing then "Holy crap! Mommy are you punching the deer?!" I suppose you can do it as an Argonian, but it takes a little longer to get their speed up and I don't know what kind of spells you have or where your stats are at. Unlike the majority of the kids in the neighborhood, my kids don't go out looking for fights or try to solve things with violence so if the presence of violent video games has effected them it can't have been in an apreciable negative way ...I should have tried to hit the deer with a flare spell. I tried to make my character well balanced with a boost towards luck. I chose argonian since they have resistance towards disease and poison which are two statuses that in most cases prove troublesome for me. I created a custom class. I chose the warrior as my birthsign. Every thing else is a blur of sneaking up on monsters and flinging fireballs.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 1:23 pm
epic-writer42 kittycross epic-writer42 Should I be worried that my niece finds me playing oblivion funny, funny at how I make one liners when I kill one of the giant rats from behind?...I should see about giving her the talk on how violence is bad in real life and how she should never use it. I don't think you need to worry about it so long as she knows the difference between real and pretend and I think most kinds are better at that than adults. Too bad you're an Argonian right now. If you were a Kajit, I'd say run around punching deer and see what she thinks of that. My kids thought it was hilarious, especially the noise they make. It took them minute to realize what I was doing then "Holy crap! Mommy are you punching the deer?!" I suppose you can do it as an Argonian, but it takes a little longer to get their speed up and I don't know what kind of spells you have or where your stats are at. Unlike the majority of the kids in the neighborhood, my kids don't go out looking for fights or try to solve things with violence so if the presence of violent video games has effected them it can't have been in an apreciable negative way ...I should have tried to hit the deer with a flare spell. I tried to make my character well balanced with a boost towards luck. I chose argonian since they have resistance towards disease and poison which are two statuses that in most cases prove troublesome for me. I created a custom class. I chose the warrior as my birthsign. Every thing else is a blur of sneaking up on monsters and flinging fireballs. Warrior sign is nice but I prefer Thief- three stat boost and you're never going to get a level up bonus to luck. The disease resistance of Argonians is nice and the water breathing can be a good plus too- it gets weird going through the game and seeing just how many quests are written figuring no one would play Argonian. Contracting vampirism will give you the disease and poison resist plus other handy bonuses. - but i stilldon't think it would help if someone wanted to play Bosmer. So usesless, the wood elves.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 1:30 pm
kittycross Kamastr0
I feel as though I don't belong anywhere
I have my results yet no confirmation,
I'm frustrated, sad ... -__-
*I think all that is plenty obvious*
I don't know, I'm trying to help everyone and I just don't know sometimes I want to scream and cry soo much
because I can no longer believe/comprehend wtf is going on,
I have this gang after me, I have a condition
I cant fight yet I have to fight
wtf am I supposed to do?
I have no idea, I really don't, I feel like I really just don't belong and I just want to find that place, find that bippy happy place to fuel me with energy to make that smile appear on my face
a Place where I don't have to put effort into, A place where people can just be straight forward, no lies because I need peace I don't need a false peace or a lie
Im just sick and tired of things
I m glad I ve been able to make/help some people
although I ve obviously failed many others and let them down
Then again I have a massive wound and a few many scars and a trust issue that I ve just kept hidden yet I work my a** off to make it not so visible heh,
I didn't notice or realize until today I have a hard time forgiving, I cant forgive some people, I say no problem I take them blame and hurt on my shoulders and act like its all ok, yet its not
I wont bring it up again why?because it will also be negative vs negative, a battle, an argument, why?Because people rather you suffer sometimes so they may block everything out and then come back to you and go "Whats wrong?", when its clearly bloody obvious whats wrong -__-
Its like for ********, you know I pretty much argue every ******** day yet you just seem to add to it, it all just pissses me off, Im not necessarily a kind person I guess
But how can one forgive or be aided by a person who is honestly faceless or quick to attack you in the back ? -__-
I m just confused I think the continuous bombardment of bad juju and me folding it and putting it under the carpet this week so I can grant some peoples wishes is taking its toll on me
can you get away to scream or cry? sometime that can help some people, but not if everyone freaks out about screaming.
A lot of therapists say that forgiveness is necessary but i really don't believe that. In my life I have found some things are unforgivable and pretending things are okay and lying to myself or others won't do anyone any favors. If you don't forgive some things I think that's perfectly fine. It means you have some values and morals you never compromise and I don't see why that would be bad. So don't be to hard on yourself about it, okay?
Sometimes you need to be upset and angry and hurt, whether people want you to be or not. Sometimes that's the only way to being able to start feeling a little better.
*more hugs*
I just dont know, everything is like tug and pull while Im being squashed by weights above me heh
I have no energy and no condition be I to fight yet the police do crap all and Im stuck fighting alone and then I just seem to see or find highlight the facts that I just feel/seem to be alone in the middle of all this crap heh sorry
major rant -__-*hugs and cries*
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 1:52 pm
Kamastr0 kittycross Kamastr0
I feel as though I don't belong anywhere
I have my results yet no confirmation,
I'm frustrated, sad ... -__-
*I think all that is plenty obvious*
I don't know, I'm trying to help everyone and I just don't know sometimes I want to scream and cry soo much
because I can no longer believe/comprehend wtf is going on,
I have this gang after me, I have a condition
I cant fight yet I have to fight
wtf am I supposed to do?
I have no idea, I really don't, I feel like I really just don't belong and I just want to find that place, find that bippy happy place to fuel me with energy to make that smile appear on my face
a Place where I don't have to put effort into, A place where people can just be straight forward, no lies because I need peace I don't need a false peace or a lie
Im just sick and tired of things
I m glad I ve been able to make/help some people
although I ve obviously failed many others and let them down
Then again I have a massive wound and a few many scars and a trust issue that I ve just kept hidden yet I work my a** off to make it not so visible heh,
I didn't notice or realize until today I have a hard time forgiving, I cant forgive some people, I say no problem I take them blame and hurt on my shoulders and act like its all ok, yet its not
I wont bring it up again why?because it will also be negative vs negative, a battle, an argument, why?Because people rather you suffer sometimes so they may block everything out and then come back to you and go "Whats wrong?", when its clearly bloody obvious whats wrong -__-
Its like for ********, you know I pretty much argue every ******** day yet you just seem to add to it, it all just pissses me off, Im not necessarily a kind person I guess
But how can one forgive or be aided by a person who is honestly faceless or quick to attack you in the back ? -__-
I m just confused I think the continuous bombardment of bad juju and me folding it and putting it under the carpet this week so I can grant some peoples wishes is taking its toll on me
can you get away to scream or cry? sometime that can help some people, but not if everyone freaks out about screaming.
A lot of therapists say that forgiveness is necessary but i really don't believe that. In my life I have found some things are unforgivable and pretending things are okay and lying to myself or others won't do anyone any favors. If you don't forgive some things I think that's perfectly fine. It means you have some values and morals you never compromise and I don't see why that would be bad. So don't be to hard on yourself about it, okay?
Sometimes you need to be upset and angry and hurt, whether people want you to be or not. Sometimes that's the only way to being able to start feeling a little better.
*more hugs*
I just dont know, everything is like tug and pull while Im being squashed by weights above me heh
I have no energy and no condition be I to fight yet the police do crap all and Im stuck fighting alone and then I just seem to see or find highlight the facts that I just feel/seem to be alone in the middle of all this crap heh sorry
major rant -__-*hugs and cries* /glomps and joins in hugfest ;; <3
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 1:56 pm
kittycross epic-writer42 kittycross epic-writer42 Should I be worried that my niece finds me playing oblivion funny, funny at how I make one liners when I kill one of the giant rats from behind?...I should see about giving her the talk on how violence is bad in real life and how she should never use it. I don't think you need to worry about it so long as she knows the difference between real and pretend and I think most kinds are better at that than adults. Too bad you're an Argonian right now. If you were a Kajit, I'd say run around punching deer and see what she thinks of that. My kids thought it was hilarious, especially the noise they make. It took them minute to realize what I was doing then "Holy crap! Mommy are you punching the deer?!" I suppose you can do it as an Argonian, but it takes a little longer to get their speed up and I don't know what kind of spells you have or where your stats are at. Unlike the majority of the kids in the neighborhood, my kids don't go out looking for fights or try to solve things with violence so if the presence of violent video games has effected them it can't have been in an apreciable negative way ...I should have tried to hit the deer with a flare spell. I tried to make my character well balanced with a boost towards luck. I chose argonian since they have resistance towards disease and poison which are two statuses that in most cases prove troublesome for me. I created a custom class. I chose the warrior as my birthsign. Every thing else is a blur of sneaking up on monsters and flinging fireballs. Warrior sign is nice but I prefer Thief- three stat boost and you're never going to get a level up bonus to luck. The disease resistance of Argonians is nice and the water breathing can be a good plus too- it gets weird going through the game and seeing just how many quests are written figuring no one would play Argonian. Contracting vampirism will give you the disease and poison resist plus other handy bonuses. - but i stilldon't think it would help if someone wanted to play Bosmer. So usesless, the wood elves. It's all a matter of how you like to play.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:08 pm
Kamastr0 kittycross Kamastr0
I feel as though I don't belong anywhere
I have my results yet no confirmation,
I'm frustrated, sad ... -__-
*I think all that is plenty obvious*
I don't know, I'm trying to help everyone and I just don't know sometimes I want to scream and cry soo much
because I can no longer believe/comprehend wtf is going on,
I have this gang after me, I have a condition
I cant fight yet I have to fight
wtf am I supposed to do?
I have no idea, I really don't, I feel like I really just don't belong and I just want to find that place, find that bippy happy place to fuel me with energy to make that smile appear on my face
a Place where I don't have to put effort into, A place where people can just be straight forward, no lies because I need peace I don't need a false peace or a lie
Im just sick and tired of things
I m glad I ve been able to make/help some people
although I ve obviously failed many others and let them down
Then again I have a massive wound and a few many scars and a trust issue that I ve just kept hidden yet I work my a** off to make it not so visible heh,
I didn't notice or realize until today I have a hard time forgiving, I cant forgive some people, I say no problem I take them blame and hurt on my shoulders and act like its all ok, yet its not
I wont bring it up again why?because it will also be negative vs negative, a battle, an argument, why?Because people rather you suffer sometimes so they may block everything out and then come back to you and go "Whats wrong?", when its clearly bloody obvious whats wrong -__-
Its like for ********, you know I pretty much argue every ******** day yet you just seem to add to it, it all just pissses me off, Im not necessarily a kind person I guess
But how can one forgive or be aided by a person who is honestly faceless or quick to attack you in the back ? -__-
I m just confused I think the continuous bombardment of bad juju and me folding it and putting it under the carpet this week so I can grant some peoples wishes is taking its toll on me
can you get away to scream or cry? sometime that can help some people, but not if everyone freaks out about screaming.
A lot of therapists say that forgiveness is necessary but i really don't believe that. In my life I have found some things are unforgivable and pretending things are okay and lying to myself or others won't do anyone any favors. If you don't forgive some things I think that's perfectly fine. It means you have some values and morals you never compromise and I don't see why that would be bad. So don't be to hard on yourself about it, okay?
Sometimes you need to be upset and angry and hurt, whether people want you to be or not. Sometimes that's the only way to being able to start feeling a little better.
*more hugs*
I just dont know, everything is like tug and pull while Im being squashed by weights above me heh
I have no energy and no condition be I to fight yet the police do crap all and Im stuck fighting alone and then I just seem to see or find highlight the facts that I just feel/seem to be alone in the middle of all this crap heh sorry
major rant -__-*hugs and cries*
It completely sucks and is totally unfair but your most important job right now is to take care of yourself, even when you can't.
Even though you're being forced to convalesce, you aren't helpless. If you feel you have to pursue the gang problem, and it sounds like a bad one, you can send emails and make phone calls to police, their department heads, media, people in the community, etc.
Maybe you can't escape to where you can belong right now, but that doesn't mean it's not there.
Are you scheduled for more diagnostics?
*hugs back and cries*
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:10 pm
epic-writer42 kittycross epic-writer42 kittycross epic-writer42 Should I be worried that my niece finds me playing oblivion funny, funny at how I make one liners when I kill one of the giant rats from behind?...I should see about giving her the talk on how violence is bad in real life and how she should never use it. I don't think you need to worry about it so long as she knows the difference between real and pretend and I think most kinds are better at that than adults. Too bad you're an Argonian right now. If you were a Kajit, I'd say run around punching deer and see what she thinks of that. My kids thought it was hilarious, especially the noise they make. It took them minute to realize what I was doing then "Holy crap! Mommy are you punching the deer?!" I suppose you can do it as an Argonian, but it takes a little longer to get their speed up and I don't know what kind of spells you have or where your stats are at. Unlike the majority of the kids in the neighborhood, my kids don't go out looking for fights or try to solve things with violence so if the presence of violent video games has effected them it can't have been in an apreciable negative way ...I should have tried to hit the deer with a flare spell. I tried to make my character well balanced with a boost towards luck. I chose argonian since they have resistance towards disease and poison which are two statuses that in most cases prove troublesome for me. I created a custom class. I chose the warrior as my birthsign. Every thing else is a blur of sneaking up on monsters and flinging fireballs. Warrior sign is nice but I prefer Thief- three stat boost and you're never going to get a level up bonus to luck. The disease resistance of Argonians is nice and the water breathing can be a good plus too- it gets weird going through the game and seeing just how many quests are written figuring no one would play Argonian. Contracting vampirism will give you the disease and poison resist plus other handy bonuses. - but i stilldon't think it would help if someone wanted to play Bosmer. So usesless, the wood elves. It's all a matter of how you like to play. True. I just can't see playing as a Bosmer. It's the only race I haven't done the game in
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:11 pm
My nephew is mocking my inability to speak so I'm mocking him back in sign.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:15 pm
kittycross Kamastr0 kittycross Kamastr0
I feel as though I don't belong anywhere
I have my results yet no confirmation,
I'm frustrated, sad ... -__-
*I think all that is plenty obvious*
I don't know, I'm trying to help everyone and I just don't know sometimes I want to scream and cry soo much
because I can no longer believe/comprehend wtf is going on,
I have this gang after me, I have a condition
I cant fight yet I have to fight
wtf am I supposed to do?
I have no idea, I really don't, I feel like I really just don't belong and I just want to find that place, find that bippy happy place to fuel me with energy to make that smile appear on my face
a Place where I don't have to put effort into, A place where people can just be straight forward, no lies because I need peace I don't need a false peace or a lie
Im just sick and tired of things
I m glad I ve been able to make/help some people
although I ve obviously failed many others and let them down
Then again I have a massive wound and a few many scars and a trust issue that I ve just kept hidden yet I work my a** off to make it not so visible heh,
I didn't notice or realize until today I have a hard time forgiving, I cant forgive some people, I say no problem I take them blame and hurt on my shoulders and act like its all ok, yet its not
I wont bring it up again why?because it will also be negative vs negative, a battle, an argument, why?Because people rather you suffer sometimes so they may block everything out and then come back to you and go "Whats wrong?", when its clearly bloody obvious whats wrong -__-
Its like for ********, you know I pretty much argue every ******** day yet you just seem to add to it, it all just pissses me off, Im not necessarily a kind person I guess
But how can one forgive or be aided by a person who is honestly faceless or quick to attack you in the back ? -__-
I m just confused I think the continuous bombardment of bad juju and me folding it and putting it under the carpet this week so I can grant some peoples wishes is taking its toll on me
can you get away to scream or cry? sometime that can help some people, but not if everyone freaks out about screaming.
A lot of therapists say that forgiveness is necessary but i really don't believe that. In my life I have found some things are unforgivable and pretending things are okay and lying to myself or others won't do anyone any favors. If you don't forgive some things I think that's perfectly fine. It means you have some values and morals you never compromise and I don't see why that would be bad. So don't be to hard on yourself about it, okay?
Sometimes you need to be upset and angry and hurt, whether people want you to be or not. Sometimes that's the only way to being able to start feeling a little better.
*more hugs*
I just dont know, everything is like tug and pull while Im being squashed by weights above me heh
I have no energy and no condition be I to fight yet the police do crap all and Im stuck fighting alone and then I just seem to see or find highlight the facts that I just feel/seem to be alone in the middle of all this crap heh sorry
major rant -__-*hugs and cries*
It completely sucks and is totally unfair but your most important job right now is to take care of yourself, even when you can't.
Even though you're being forced to convalesce, you aren't helpless. If you feel you have to pursue the gang problem, and it sounds like a bad one, you can send emails and make phone calls to police, their department heads, media, people in the community, etc.
Maybe you can't escape to where you can belong right now, but that doesn't mean it's not there.
Are you scheduled for more diagnostics?
*hugs back and cries*
I ve done all the police stuff =/, I cant go to the media it might put my family in danger, the gang knows me thankfully by my school name so, Im the only one in danger heh which is good but I need to solve it because I continuously worry or think what if they figure out who my mum is and such heh, we dont have a neighbour hood watch unfortunately =/
I live in an isolated part of the country, I was already slightly kidnapped and
I ve already filled out a report heh so Im just scaredly waiting and just trying to get ready for something I have no idea how or what to face heh, I ve already talked about my options but like I said My concern is my mum shes secretly smack dead dealing with people who knows these people heh so I ve chosen to have it quietened and investigated
as for diagnostics, I due in 1week so around near the 20th of March x-----x
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:26 pm
Kamastr0 kittycross Kamastr0 kittycross Kamastr0
I feel as though I don't belong anywhere
I have my results yet no confirmation,
I'm frustrated, sad ... -__-
*I think all that is plenty obvious*
I don't know, I'm trying to help everyone and I just don't know sometimes I want to scream and cry soo much
because I can no longer believe/comprehend wtf is going on,
I have this gang after me, I have a condition
I cant fight yet I have to fight
wtf am I supposed to do?
I have no idea, I really don't, I feel like I really just don't belong and I just want to find that place, find that bippy happy place to fuel me with energy to make that smile appear on my face
a Place where I don't have to put effort into, A place where people can just be straight forward, no lies because I need peace I don't need a false peace or a lie
Im just sick and tired of things
I m glad I ve been able to make/help some people
although I ve obviously failed many others and let them down
Then again I have a massive wound and a few many scars and a trust issue that I ve just kept hidden yet I work my a** off to make it not so visible heh,
I didn't notice or realize until today I have a hard time forgiving, I cant forgive some people, I say no problem I take them blame and hurt on my shoulders and act like its all ok, yet its not
I wont bring it up again why?because it will also be negative vs negative, a battle, an argument, why?Because people rather you suffer sometimes so they may block everything out and then come back to you and go "Whats wrong?", when its clearly bloody obvious whats wrong -__-
Its like for ********, you know I pretty much argue every ******** day yet you just seem to add to it, it all just pissses me off, Im not necessarily a kind person I guess
But how can one forgive or be aided by a person who is honestly faceless or quick to attack you in the back ? -__-
I m just confused I think the continuous bombardment of bad juju and me folding it and putting it under the carpet this week so I can grant some peoples wishes is taking its toll on me
can you get away to scream or cry? sometime that can help some people, but not if everyone freaks out about screaming.
A lot of therapists say that forgiveness is necessary but i really don't believe that. In my life I have found some things are unforgivable and pretending things are okay and lying to myself or others won't do anyone any favors. If you don't forgive some things I think that's perfectly fine. It means you have some values and morals you never compromise and I don't see why that would be bad. So don't be to hard on yourself about it, okay?
Sometimes you need to be upset and angry and hurt, whether people want you to be or not. Sometimes that's the only way to being able to start feeling a little better.
*more hugs*
I just dont know, everything is like tug and pull while Im being squashed by weights above me heh
I have no energy and no condition be I to fight yet the police do crap all and Im stuck fighting alone and then I just seem to see or find highlight the facts that I just feel/seem to be alone in the middle of all this crap heh sorry
major rant -__-*hugs and cries*
It completely sucks and is totally unfair but your most important job right now is to take care of yourself, even when you can't.
Even though you're being forced to convalesce, you aren't helpless. If you feel you have to pursue the gang problem, and it sounds like a bad one, you can send emails and make phone calls to police, their department heads, media, people in the community, etc.
Maybe you can't escape to where you can belong right now, but that doesn't mean it's not there.
Are you scheduled for more diagnostics?
*hugs back and cries*
I ve done all the police stuff =/, I cant go to the media it might put my family in danger, the gang knows me thankfully by my school name so, Im the only one in danger heh which is good but I need to solve it because I continuously worry or think what if they figure out who my mum is and such heh, we dont have a neighbour hood watch unfortunately =/
I live in an isolated part of the country, I was already slightly kidnapped and
I ve already filled out a report heh so Im just scaredly waiting and just trying to get ready for something I have no idea how or what to face heh, I ve already talked about my options but like I said My concern is my mum shes secretly smack dead dealing with people who knows these people heh so I ve chosen to have it quietened and investigated
as for diagnostics, I due in 1week so around near the 20th of March x-----x
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:33 pm
kittycross Kamastr0 kittycross Kamastr0 kittycross Kamastr0
I feel as though I don't belong anywhere
I have my results yet no confirmation,
I'm frustrated, sad ... -__-
*I think all that is plenty obvious*
I don't know, I'm trying to help everyone and I just don't know sometimes I want to scream and cry soo much
because I can no longer believe/comprehend wtf is going on,
I have this gang after me, I have a condition
I cant fight yet I have to fight
wtf am I supposed to do?
I have no idea, I really don't, I feel like I really just don't belong and I just want to find that place, find that bippy happy place to fuel me with energy to make that smile appear on my face
a Place where I don't have to put effort into, A place where people can just be straight forward, no lies because I need peace I don't need a false peace or a lie
Im just sick and tired of things
I m glad I ve been able to make/help some people
although I ve obviously failed many others and let them down
Then again I have a massive wound and a few many scars and a trust issue that I ve just kept hidden yet I work my a** off to make it not so visible heh,
I didn't notice or realize until today I have a hard time forgiving, I cant forgive some people, I say no problem I take them blame and hurt on my shoulders and act like its all ok, yet its not
I wont bring it up again why?because it will also be negative vs negative, a battle, an argument, why?Because people rather you suffer sometimes so they may block everything out and then come back to you and go "Whats wrong?", when its clearly bloody obvious whats wrong -__-
Its like for ********, you know I pretty much argue every ******** day yet you just seem to add to it, it all just pissses me off, Im not necessarily a kind person I guess
But how can one forgive or be aided by a person who is honestly faceless or quick to attack you in the back ? -__-
I m just confused I think the continuous bombardment of bad juju and me folding it and putting it under the carpet this week so I can grant some peoples wishes is taking its toll on me
can you get away to scream or cry? sometime that can help some people, but not if everyone freaks out about screaming.
A lot of therapists say that forgiveness is necessary but i really don't believe that. In my life I have found some things are unforgivable and pretending things are okay and lying to myself or others won't do anyone any favors. If you don't forgive some things I think that's perfectly fine. It means you have some values and morals you never compromise and I don't see why that would be bad. So don't be to hard on yourself about it, okay?
Sometimes you need to be upset and angry and hurt, whether people want you to be or not. Sometimes that's the only way to being able to start feeling a little better.
*more hugs*
I just dont know, everything is like tug and pull while Im being squashed by weights above me heh
I have no energy and no condition be I to fight yet the police do crap all and Im stuck fighting alone and then I just seem to see or find highlight the facts that I just feel/seem to be alone in the middle of all this crap heh sorry
major rant -__-*hugs and cries*
It completely sucks and is totally unfair but your most important job right now is to take care of yourself, even when you can't.
Even though you're being forced to convalesce, you aren't helpless. If you feel you have to pursue the gang problem, and it sounds like a bad one, you can send emails and make phone calls to police, their department heads, media, people in the community, etc.
Maybe you can't escape to where you can belong right now, but that doesn't mean it's not there.
Are you scheduled for more diagnostics?
*hugs back and cries*
I ve done all the police stuff =/, I cant go to the media it might put my family in danger, the gang knows me thankfully by my school name so, Im the only one in danger heh which is good but I need to solve it because I continuously worry or think what if they figure out who my mum is and such heh, we dont have a neighbour hood watch unfortunately =/
I live in an isolated part of the country, I was already slightly kidnapped and
I ve already filled out a report heh so Im just scaredly waiting and just trying to get ready for something I have no idea how or what to face heh, I ve already talked about my options but like I said My concern is my mum shes secretly smack dead dealing with people who knows these people heh so I ve chosen to have it quietened and investigated
as for diagnostics, I due in 1week so around near the 20th of March x-----x
and then ended up almost getting fully shot and in hospital heh
ooooo I think i have a magnet for bad juju -_____-
=O
I never seen a floppy bunny =o
also thanksies lotsies<3 heh
it really helps talking to someone because sometimes I dont really know who to talk to since not many people are online during my timezone heh
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:34 pm
I hate being sick. I hate working while I'm sick. And I don't have the energy to work on my homework, but I know I'll be scrambling by the end of the week if I don't get started now. And I can't even sleep since Alex said he might finally talk to me tonight, and I don't want to sleep through my one chance. Especially since it's his birthday and especially since we haven't talked in 10 days and especially since he probably still wants to dump me.
Everything is shitty =(
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:40 pm
Kamastr0 kittycross Kamastr0 kittycross Kamastr0 I can't heh I've been crying since my mum left the room heh, I'll try=/ , heh maybe I ve been trying but I just can't seem to begin, I want to find/feel like I belong somewhere yet I just become a problem and upset people heh
I just dont know, everything is like tug and pull while Im being squashed by weights above me heh
I have no energy and no condition be I to fight yet the police do crap all and Im stuck fighting alone and then I just seem to see or find highlight the facts that I just feel/seem to be alone in the middle of all this crap heh sorry
major rant -__-*hugs and cries*
It completely sucks and is totally unfair but your most important job right now is to take care of yourself, even when you can't.
Even though you're being forced to convalesce, you aren't helpless. If you feel you have to pursue the gang problem, and it sounds like a bad one, you can send emails and make phone calls to police, their department heads, media, people in the community, etc.
Maybe you can't escape to where you can belong right now, but that doesn't mean it's not there.
Are you scheduled for more diagnostics?
*hugs back and cries*
I ve done all the police stuff =/, I cant go to the media it might put my family in danger, the gang knows me thankfully by my school name so, Im the only one in danger heh which is good but I need to solve it because I continuously worry or think what if they figure out who my mum is and such heh, we dont have a neighbour hood watch unfortunately =/
I live in an isolated part of the country, I was already slightly kidnapped and
I ve already filled out a report heh so Im just scaredly waiting and just trying to get ready for something I have no idea how or what to face heh, I ve already talked about my options but like I said My concern is my mum shes secretly smack dead dealing with people who knows these people heh so I ve chosen to have it quietened and investigated
as for diagnostics, I due in 1week so around near the 20th of March x-----x
and then ended up almost getting fully shot and in hospital heh
ooooo I think i have a magnet for bad juju -_____-
=O
I never seen a floppy bunny =o
also thanksies lotsies<3 heh
it really helps talking to someone because sometimes I dont really know who to talk to since not many people are online during my timezone heh this bunny has several trick. I'm on at odd times since i have no schedule due to my medical problems, so feel free to bug me whenever. You have an gigantic electro magnet for bad juju.
Perhaps you could grow more feet?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
