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 Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 3:06 pm
@ Kammy
I didn't know things were so bad. I hope you get better. I hope it's nothing serious. God, it's enough to make me turn religious just to hope you get better.
You're such a lovely wonderful kind person that things like this shouldn't happen to you.
I can't make you art, so I can't make you smile liek that. But you're my friend and I don't know what I'd do sometimes without you. I hope so much that you get better because I'm pretty sure I'd be screwed sometimes if I didn't have you there to help me out.
Kammy you are amazing heart
Mickey don't hate me, I totally didn't mean for this to sound like I was hitting on Kam, he's just such an awesome friend crying
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Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 4:47 pm
I always get really really scared when I'm asked to meet with a staff member. crying Even when I don't think I've done anything wrong, there always seems to be something I don't know about. And usually it's just check-in stuff, but there's always the possibility, and with possibility comes terror crying
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Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 5:47 pm
LabTech Kestin I always get really really scared when I'm asked to meet with a staff member. crying Even when I don't think I've done anything wrong, there always seems to be something I don't know about. And usually it's just check-in stuff, but there's always the possibility, and with possibility comes terror crying
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Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 5:49 pm
Jedi Sasquatch LabTech Kestin I always get really really scared when I'm asked to meet with a staff member. crying Even when I don't think I've done anything wrong, there always seems to be something I don't know about. And usually it's just check-in stuff, but there's always the possibility, and with possibility comes terror crying
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Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 7:04 pm
@Kam: *HUGS SO FREAKIN' MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!* I don't knwo what to say, except hopefully it works out for the best. No matter what you'll always be the awesome-fun *hot* aspiring guy. Get better~
I know I haven't been active much if any on here lol xD Life has been kinda hectic w/ my emotions, and it's still tough getting everything organized into place between seriousness in schoolwork and relaxing so I won't have to stress 24/7. I got accepted to VCU, so yay! Now to fill out FAFSA's Dx
I want to cry at times, but that would be a complete waste of time and energy so I suck it up and stuff it in a bottle. I can't remember if that's unhealthy, but what are the chances for that bottle to break?
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Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 7:17 pm
Cannibal Horsey Mickey don't hate me, I totally didn't mean for this to sound like I was hitting on Kam, he's just such an awesome friend crying
And heh, well, it's true. He really is amazing in every way and he should know it <3
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Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:08 pm
I can't stand this much longer. If I have to, I'm just not going to. I can make it end instead of standing it. There's only 2 reasons I am standing it, and one of them I don't know how I still have, let alone how I have it in the first place. It's not like I deserve it--so many people do and don't have it, but I do and I don't know what to do with it. I'm a selfish person, just thinking of this shows it anyway, considering my situation. It wouldn't be hard to do it anyway. I want to do it soon if this won't stop. I could do it so easily, I could even make it look accidental or something. There's tons of ways, I've researched it. But I'll wait a few more months. Just a few more months...
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Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:13 pm
LabTech Kestin Jedi Sasquatch LabTech Kestin I always get really really scared when I'm asked to meet with a staff member. crying Even when I don't think I've done anything wrong, there always seems to be something I don't know about. And usually it's just check-in stuff, but there's always the possibility, and with possibility comes terror crying
Well it could be that they want to give you something special or invite you to some special group thing, or something, right?
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Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:18 pm
Jer0nim0 I can't stand this much longer. If I have to, I'm just not going to. I can make it end instead of standing it. There's only 2 reasons I am standing it, and one of them I don't know how I still have, let alone how I have it in the first place. It's not like I deserve it--so many people do and don't have it, but I do and I don't know what to do with it. I'm a selfish person, just thinking of this shows it anyway, considering my situation. It wouldn't be hard to do it anyway. I want to do it soon if this won't stop. I could do it so easily, I could even make it look accidental or something. There's tons of ways, I've researched it. But I'll wait a few more months. Just a few more months... *Hugs* I m not sure what it is... But I m here if you want to talk, and please don't do anything silly ;; I need you as friend Nim<3
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Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:24 pm
Jedi Sasquatch LabTech Kestin Jedi Sasquatch LabTech Kestin I always get really really scared when I'm asked to meet with a staff member. crying Even when I don't think I've done anything wrong, there always seems to be something I don't know about. And usually it's just check-in stuff, but there's always the possibility, and with possibility comes terror crying
Well it could be that they want to give you something special or invite you to some special group thing, or something, right?
Clarification needed: When I say things like "something bad" and "something I did wrong", I don't mean anything to do with grades. I mean abnormal behavior. Due to being on disability services, practically everyone in the school watches my every move and judges me quickly and harshly. I thought I would find freedom from that kind of thing at college, but I guess it's no better here than it's been for the past thirteen years. crying I can never, ever be truly independent, and it's really getting to me. Like, really, really getting to me. This life of being monitored constantly wears at my nerves so much more than it would seem for something so subtle. And since it's been determined that I'll spend the rest of my life like this...I'm determined in turn to make that life as short as possible.
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Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 9:01 pm
Kamastr0 Jer0nim0 I can't stand this much longer. If I have to, I'm just not going to. I can make it end instead of standing it. There's only 2 reasons I am standing it, and one of them I don't know how I still have, let alone how I have it in the first place. It's not like I deserve it--so many people do and don't have it, but I do and I don't know what to do with it. I'm a selfish person, just thinking of this shows it anyway, considering my situation. It wouldn't be hard to do it anyway. I want to do it soon if this won't stop. I could do it so easily, I could even make it look accidental or something. There's tons of ways, I've researched it. But I'll wait a few more months. Just a few more months... *Hugs* I m not sure what it is... But I m here if you want to talk, and please don't do anything silly ;; I need you as friend Nim<3@Kestin It's probably just a check-in. (: If it helps, you could ask the staff people to set up regular check-in meeting times, so it would prevent too much stress over things like this? /hug
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Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 10:00 pm
@Kammy: Geebuz I knew it was really bad, I didn't know it was that bad D: /major hugs <3
we love you and know things'll get better ;; and if you need anything you can always ask/talk about it sometime because I and everyone wanna see things pull through and work out so you can get the hell out of there
@Nim: :c /hugs lots
We love you, please please please take care of yourself D: I can't give Kammy comfort arts on my own ;; /hugs
Sidenote: I have now learned there is such a thing of BSing too much =w=
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Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 12:56 am
@ Nim, remember we love you and you are an awesome wonderful person, we're all here for you if you ever need us
@ Kestin, I know how you feel, anytime I'm told I have to meet with someone, be it one of my lecturers or a manager or senior person at work I instantly think I'm gonna get in a s**t load of trouble.
And don't you DARE think of doing anything rash. One day people will learn that just because someone is different doesn't mean they need to be constantly monitored. I have a ton of Autistic friends and people I know and they are all living happy productive lives... well except James.... but that's because his mother babies him too much....
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Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 4:15 am
I'm gonna explode and it's not gonna be pretty... I am getting so close to the edge that I can see the mist below and I keep feeling like it'd be a good idea to leap. ;.;
I completely neglected to eat today. I never do that, I at least drink something, but I didn't do that either.
My sister emailed me 2+weeks ago (I don't check my email often)... and I really don't feel like replying. At the moment, it is her only way of contacting anyone in my family. (No phone except mine, and I'm not a talkative person around her... and Mom hates phones.) I'm curious, but at the same time I could really care less. We had a bad falling-out a while ago over my now-dying mother, and when she dies, I'm going to cut off all contact between myself and my two surviving siblings. ._.
"You used to like my filthy come-ons =("
No, I tolerated them because I didn't know any better, and now you're a ******** jerk with a kid on the way. You're gonna be a father. Act like one.
In a war between emotions, which do you side with?
A heart without reason, or a reason without heart?
I am cold and unhappy. I am also overly fond of s**t that (sometimes) makes me cry.
I regret doing that. I wish I hadn't. I wish I'd been stronger, or less stupid...
... Now I'm crying uncontrollably. ********. ********. Arceus damn it.
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Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 4:44 am
/gives Maris major hugs :c <333
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