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 Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 9:08 pm
Jedi Sasquatch You know, I don't think I hate my life that much. Part of the reason I want to kill myself is because I just feel like suicide is a beautiful thing. Well, not in general. I feel like my suicide would be a beautiful thing. An insignificant life ended by his own blade, or leap, or whatever I would use to do such a thing.
I don't know why. I know it would be a bad thing to do. But... I feel like my life doesn't matter. That nothing would change if I were gone. That the day would end, the new day would begin, and the world would be brighter tomorrow.
Your life is a beautiful thing. You are a beautiful thing.
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 9:17 pm
Sorry for the triple post...
I can't stop feeling really unsettlingly panicky. ;;'''''
Like everything around me is just going to cave in and crush me...
I can't stop shaking, I keep making typos and my OCD-like tendencies are forcing me to stop and fix every single one asdfzxcvq ;;''''''
I've been crying for an hour or more, I don't know what's wrong and I just want it to stop dgjdhkjs ;_; how do you ask for help when you don't know what's wrong to fix it?? And he's tired from working and I don't want to bother him and he's sleeping now after I comforted him into it... Arceus wtf is wrong with me djfhsjgaasddffffdsdfdh jkfhdfhdslkaklvdn! No emote fits for how I feel.... maybe gonk and crying put together.
Something knocked me off my diving board and sent me into the pool of fail and whoever did it is going to get my foot so far up their butt that they'll be able to smell the shoe polish emo
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 9:19 pm
Silent Sympathy Foam-Dome Well, that's good. XD I really hope you feel better. D:
That doesn't make it okay! ;3; Just hearing about it makes my skin all crawly and gets me queasy. D: I really wanna help...
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. It was a moment of weakness. I feel so bad now.
I never like it when my friends cut themselves. D: Not just because I worry about their feelings and problems and health and whatnot, but because I also start to envision sticking a knife into skin, slicing it open, the blood seeping out and dripping down... D8 Eeeeee. *hemophobic*
And when I envision stuff like that, it starts to feel like it's actually happening to me. D:
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 9:54 pm
BEST NOT READ, I'm very off the edge
I need a break/breather heh really badly
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 10:03 pm
Foam-Dome I never like it when my friends cut themselves. D: Not just because I worry about their feelings and problems and health and whatnot, but because I also start to envision sticking a knife into skin, slicing it open, the blood seeping out and dripping down... D8 Eeeeee. *hemophobic*
And when I envision stuff like that, it starts to feel like it's actually happening to me. D: @Maris: crying Thank you. heart
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 10:19 pm
Foam-Dome XD I remember when someone I knew punched a hole in his wall because he was raging hard at a game of League of Legends. His knuckle still hurts from that.
I never like it when my friends cut themselves. D: Not just because I worry about their feelings and problems and health and whatnot, but because I also start to envision sticking a knife into skin, slicing it open, the blood seeping out and dripping down... D8 Eeeeee. *hemophobic*
And when I envision stuff like that, it starts to feel like it's actually happening to me. D:
*Hugs* Just think happy thoughts and forget I ever said anything.
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 10:25 pm
Silent Sympathy Foam-Dome XD I remember when someone I knew punched a hole in his wall because he was raging hard at a game of League of Legends. His knuckle still hurts from that.
I never like it when my friends cut themselves. D: Not just because I worry about their feelings and problems and health and whatnot, but because I also start to envision sticking a knife into skin, slicing it open, the blood seeping out and dripping down... D8 Eeeeee. *hemophobic*
And when I envision stuff like that, it starts to feel like it's actually happening to me. D:
*Hugs* Just think happy thoughts and forget I ever said anything.
(I could've made a terrible comment, but I refrained. 8D)
No no no, now I've gotta help you feel better! ;3; That's what a buddy does.
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 11:27 pm
Foam-Dome Well, his wall wasn't too hard... XD
(I could've made a terrible comment, but I refrained. 8D)
No no no, now I've gotta help you feel better! ;3; That's what a buddy does.
(You should have)
Aww, thanks. But you don't have to. I don't normally talk about my problems to avoid bugging people with them. > w<
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 11:31 pm
Maris Pallitax LabTech Kestin Urgh. I know some of you do, but...I guess it's that somehow the very worst posts are always in black. I don't know. I'm just so pissed off at everything lately. My head's not on straight and being a decent person just fails me half the time. sweatdrop Unrelated: I usually stay home when my family goes to the movies. Once in a blue moon or so, they practically get on their knees and beg me to come along "just this once", and I usually do. Of course, it figures that the one movie they chose to beg me to accompany them to was the one that could and did set my tic disorder into overdrive. It hasn't died back down yet and it's driving me crazy.
Do they do that on purpose just to torment you? :c *huggles*
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 11:57 pm
LabTech Kestin Maris Pallitax LabTech Kestin Urgh. I know some of you do, but...I guess it's that somehow the very worst posts are always in black. I don't know. I'm just so pissed off at everything lately. My head's not on straight and being a decent person just fails me half the time. sweatdrop Unrelated: I usually stay home when my family goes to the movies. Once in a blue moon or so, they practically get on their knees and beg me to come along "just this once", and I usually do. Of course, it figures that the one movie they chose to beg me to accompany them to was the one that could and did set my tic disorder into overdrive. It hasn't died back down yet and it's driving me crazy.
Do they do that on purpose just to torment you? :c *huggles*
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Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 1:10 am
Silent Sympathy Foam-Dome Well, his wall wasn't too hard... XD
(I could've made a terrible comment, but I refrained. 8D)
No no no, now I've gotta help you feel better! ;3; That's what a buddy does.
(You should have)
Aww, thanks. But you don't have to. I don't normally talk about my problems to avoid bugging people with them. > w<
That's what a lot of other people I know say. They're too nice to talk about their problems and worry others, so they just keep them bottled up while they fester and make them feel awful. D: And I can't stand to see that...
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Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 3:31 am
Silent Sympathy Foam-Dome Silent Sympathy So... today I lost my temper and punched a wall in my apartment... The wall suffered no ill effect, but my right hand did. It went numb soon after and I can barely open my fingers. I have sort of regained feeling in it, but I can't type with it and I cant hold a pen much less a spoon. so eating was a chore and I refuse to go to the hospital... 'Cause then they'd bombard me with questions. I also did something else, but I'll leave that out...
But it sounds like you might have broken something... You should really get it checked out. D:
You didn't cut yourself, did you? D: Because I swear to god, if you did... ;3;
There's no easy way to say it.. At least it's somewhere people can't see it..Ch0: Thanks..
something I've found when you go where it's not seen is that you need to be sure to clean and dress it properly so you don't get fabric fibers in it and those can be a b***h to pick out, but it can spare you those,omg what happened?! moments with people who don't understand.
National Self Injury Awareness Day is coming up. March 3, I believe and the ribbon color is orange for some reason.
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Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 3:49 am
God damn. I can't get over how much of an idiot I am. Why am I even arguing anymore? What am I accomplishing? How does any of this matter, and why am I getting so stressed out for nothing?
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Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 3:51 am
Jedi Sasquatch God damn. I can't get over how much of an idiot I am. Why am I even arguing anymore? What am I accomplishing? How does any of this matter, and why am I getting so stressed out for nothing?
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Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 4:05 am
I can't sleep. Been trying for hours now and nothings working. I feel really bad. I think I'm going to be sick...
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