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Good morning Priceless. I had a weird weekend; how was yours?

I have decided to end my smarty pants talk and start speaking like Juno. I watched the movie and she's like super rad. Also, I figure I'll just rant in here for a while before heading back to working on my village that is nearly complete.

It seems as though ever since report card pickup – when my teacher stated that allies in school are good – I’d been making a ton of enemies. The librarians that often times didn’t bug me and left me to myself decided to invade my personal information. I mean, I can’t blame them for deciding to look up my schedule since I came to the library nearly every period – obviously ditching class – and then come to me about it. I would have done the same thing, had I been in their shoes; but for some reason that just pissed me off. I can ditch if I want to; it is MY life. As a result, I went off on the older, dark skinned one because she was acting like a moron. A psychiatrist would say the same thing if they’d listened to what she’d stated. She wouldn’t let my friend remove my Ipod safely so I decided to jump in. It really wasn’t my call to and the Ipod would have been fine but I guess I just wanted to make her angry like she’d make me. The funny thing is that I wasn’t satisfied. I decided to tell off the security guard she’d sicked on me too. She had it coming for all the times she’d stopped me in the halls and made me late for class; all because she wanted me to buy her freakin candy. I don’t like eating candy all the time so flake off – seriously. Once done, I was supposed to get in-school but since I had connection in that department I was fine. I guess my ego got into high gear then because a short time later I got into it with my seventh period teacher. She’d always make the class clean the room instead of doing it herself. I didn’t mind because I was bored during the period anyway – the reason why I talk a lot in there – so when she’d ask us to clean I’d say okay. On this day she went off on a friend of mines. She was yelling at her and telling her to complete her painting. I was ticked when she did that because I knew the teacher had taken her unfinished painting and given it to another stupid student and hadn’t told my friend. What did I do? Obviously I told her about herself and took her focus from my friend to me; a stupid move since I was already in hot water for the library, security, and in-school thing. I didn’t care when she called me ignorant and whatnot or when she made us clean up the classroom instead of the work area we were in – according to her rubric we only had to clean our work station and the rest of the room was on her or the janitor – but then she went back to my friend. Again, I got the attention back to me until the class ended. She threatened to call my mother but I have yet to receive her phone call. I am rather curious as to what will happen now. I had made enemies with my Art teacher - who used to let me go to lunch during her class – the librarians – who used to leave me alone and let me ditch – and the security guard – who, one day, might decide not to save my life. Was I wrong in making enemies with them? Did I do the right thing in an alternate light? Was it karma that made all of this happen? Hold it there a second, I’m still not done yet. I never really liked my house. It was always some place that I dreaded to go. If I could, I’d stay in school all day or maybe just lay in Millennium Park for my remaining days. I felt that I was the one who didn’t belong and was wished to be gone. My mother seemed to favorite my other siblings more than I even though one couldn’t tell on the surface. Maybe it’s my inner child longing for attention or my ambition to be everyone’s favorite whatever; but I get the feeling that I’m unwanted in my own home. My mother and I get into it often and it’s hard to tell if it’s from built up anger or a sudden upset. Unlike the other children in our household, I get hit with everything worse. I get a C and someone else gets the same; I get the scornful look. My brother and I rob the bank; my mother asks for me to go to jail. I’ve been thinking about running away more and more often. I mean, if a ninja isn’t wanted in their village then wouldn’t they leave? I believe anyone seeing that would say yes. I mean, what’s the difference between home and outside? They all lay in the real world; in this instance, they are both cruel. Why not run away? Why can’t I run away? I guess it could again be my inner child tat longs for attention – only from my mother – or maybe it’s my ambition to be everyone’s favorite whatever; perhaps it’s something else – variant of those two or maybe even a hybrid of both and another. Karma; it definitely has to do with that. I thought I had good karma though; I thought that karma wasn’t a problem for me. Could it be that blind belief that triggers my karma? Could that belief be the fuel to the flame that makes me do, say, or think the wrong things? I wonder.

If anyone read that then they’d say it were deep; don’t give me that. Try and answer my questions, try and figure out what I’d done wrong or right, try and apply this to yourself and see if the answers come easier or not, try and help me figure out why life in this world is so worth having, so worth fighting for, so worth living.