|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 8:38 am
kawaita tsumori ame ga tsuzunaku katari kakeru namida wa seijaku ni...samayou yoru ga akeru"Kidnapping...." Chiyou admitted in a whisper, then was silent for a moment. "It's just...the idea of kidnapping...of someone forcibly taking you away...of the fear and struggle against such a thing...it reminded me...of my eyes. How scared I was. I nearly died, but the struggle for my life was far more frightening that the thought of death itself, once I began to let go. I mean...I've forgiven all that was done...but that doesn't mean it didn't leave more than enough scars on me, both physically and mentally. The idea that the girl in your story was kidnapped...the idea of what must have become of her...it's too much to bear..." Hideki shivered hard, looking up at Nakai with tears in his blind eyes. "I'm really sorry...I don't mean to be this way...I'll be tougher from now on, ok?" the small vocalist smiled, wiping away his tears. karada o tsutau ame ni furueru awai omoi guren no yuuwaku ni...samayou yoru ga akeru
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 9:09 am
 ~( Lonely ) Mayotta nara~
~( Try again ) Nando datte~
~Yarinaosu koto dekiru kara~
Ryu's eyes closed. He had not known, but now that he did...it hurt him deeply. "Again?" he asked, as if he simply couldn't believe that such a thing were even possible. Just how did Naoko manage to keep getting himself into these situations? One might even assume, given the number of times it had happened now, that he enjoyed it, and that it was actually something deliberate. But...Ryu knew better. His Naoko...was just unlucky. Hence why he needed to be loved all the more. Wounds would not heal without the proper amount of love. Even at his wits end with everything, he had always held on because he knew, deep down, that love was the beginning and end of all things, the most important thing in the universe...and sometimes two people really were just meant to be together, in good times and bad. "It's ok. As long as you're ok...it's ok. I love you, and that's all that matters." the violinist smiled at his angel, reaching over and squeezing his hand comfortingly. "As far as Jun, though...I'm curious why you tried to follow him? I thought you were angry with him? Though...I think he's been misunderstood. He really does love Shou, you know. I'm pretty sure that...he cares about us all. Maybe he just needs all of us....to care about him." ~( I’m here )~ Soba ni iru wa~
~( Believe me ) Osorenai de~
~Shinjiau koto....~
~FOR YOU~
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 10:12 am
Do you know what you got into
Can you handle what I’m ’bout to do------------------------------------------------}:-  SHOU
No escaping when I start .traeh ruoy nwo I ni m'I ecnO
Beautiful Dreamer
Shou stood there for a moment quietly listening to Jun's words. He tried very hard to let Jun say his piece even though Shou wanted nothing more than to keep screaming. He wondered how many others outside the doorway heard his anger. Or maybe they had backed off well and away when they had.
'Falling into each others arms' in grief was understandable but the what came afterwards he still couldn't reconcile. Well, he never had committed himself to Jun and thus...maybe that could be put into play making this scenario reasonable? But still, Shou couldn't believe that someone could run to a past lover like that...and....He didn't want to think deeper on it because he promised himself he'd not get mad at Naoko. While the road was clearly 50/50 there, he looked at Naoko's blasted bad luck as something he couldn't even rate. However, Shou knew that the 'feelings' between Naoko and Jun still existed under the surface. Even if both men strongly denied it.
Then there was one other word....Izo. Of course, he'd want his other star in Hawaii home. Hell, he wanted Shou home as soon as Pillow-san could drag him on to the plane! Although things never got ugly. But then again, Shou knew Izo wouldn't hurt a star that made lots of money. He was a valuable asset. But Jun....
He glanced up and looked at Jun for a moment not saying a word. Jun wasn't as high paid right now. He was still trying to get back that magic. Vulnerable to Izo. Stars that hung to close to the thin line between black and white were easily sucked over to the other side. A side that Shou couldn't understand or explain. Information Haru kept hidden but Shou knew was there. Haru protected his back and watched the line while Shou reached further towards the open skies. Shou could actually forgive Jun that fault. Jun couldn't stand up to Izo right now...and Shou knew it.
His face soften as Jun congratulated him. "Thanks." That was a little awkward and he had not expected it but he knew that Jun had always been interested in being a daddy. Well, probably a daddy because obviously he couldn't look like a mommy just seeing him in a girl's kimono once he paid attention. That look was not for men like Jun but boys like Naoko. "Since a few days ago. He's my nephew by my sister and his name is Ko. Yamada-san brought him to me after he was left on my doorstep."
That was exactly the way he had been presented to Shou and he had accepted it in his twisted memories. "My sister has fallen into some trouble. You know she has very bad luck. I'm not sure I'll ever see her again but she left me with her son. He's had a difficult life...I'm sure he's been abused. So I've taken him as my own. He's so talent with piano and has the brightest smile. And he just adores Disney's Mickey Mouse right now."
He took the phone back and opened it showing Jun a picture of blond Ko and the pancakes. "He's my pride and joy. I'm not sure how I'll work out all my touring and life around him but Naoko is helping me. Ko has plenty of Uncles now in the band. I think I'll have the child's stars instructors school him because it will be hard to just let him go to public school."
It was rather amazing to Shou to see such concern for Ko. He knew that Jun had a thing for kids but sometimes he didn't quite see the depths of that desire until now. It was maybe Jun's most redeeming quality. There had to be a good man under all that difficulty. Just what Shou needed now was something more stable...and secure with himself. While he might never be able to say 3 certain words or committed in ways others might expect, he was trying very hard to shape his fantastical world around his newest addition, Ko.
"I don't know what would make me truly happy, Jun." he said calmly as he gazed at the man. "You broke my heart and dragged it through the depths of despair. But I still feel things for you. We had something good at one point. Didn't we? But ...I don't think we can just restart where we left off."
He paused for a moment letting the previous words sink in before making this offer from his own heart, "However, maybe it is possible to start over from scratch? I'm not saying this grants you the keys to my kingdom. It would be...just dates. Maybe walks in the park, movies, dinners and very slow with no strings attached. We can see where it goes. I can't say it will go anywhere but I can't say it won't either. You still need get help for yourself and talk to a psychologist...and you know that. I've got a nephew that needs my protection and love more than anything right now. So my choices with you will all depend on your ability to take charge of your life...earn back your own inner respect and self worth. Then try to earn my love."
While Shou was only a mirror to Sai sometimes his words had a true reflection of the other man's vision. If this had been a conversation with Sai the end results would have been different surely. Sai had much more guilt and longing than Shou. Sai had been the one broken by Jun and Naoko years before. Shou was indeed the stronger more confident personality and obviously, Ko's appearance had tempered certain aspects although still the mercurial nature of the star was one thing that was truly hard to change. Although Shou had admitted freely those problems and knew they were there.
Glancing over at Jun, he said gently because even now, he didn't like it when Jun shed tears even if it were only one, "Would you like to meet my nephew? I don't think you'll be going anywhere this evening, Jun. The weather is too harsh and the roads up here will be closed soon. I'll make sure you have a room unless Ryuukaze-san already made arrangements?"
-:{------------------------------------------------Cause it’s about to get rough for you
I’m here For Your Entertainment
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 11:31 am
I can no longer return to those days free of bloodshed
These deep scars rooted within me will not disappear...
 Jun listened to Shou explain about Ko. It was absolute nonsense, about Shou's "sister" and him having a "nephew", and Jun knew it. If Ko were Shou's nephew in any fashion, then Naoko would have to be the child's father, and he knew that wasn't possible. Regardless...he would leave that alone. It wasn't his business, and as long as Shou was happy, then he would be happy for Shou. Looking at the picture of Ko-kun, he couldn't help but smile. "He's beautiful. I think he favors you, Shou. I'm glad he's got someone like you to protect him. It...hurts my heart to think that shining child has had to suffer already in his young life..." Jun spoke softly, brushing his long locks away from his face so he could see better. The words that followed from Shou warmed his heart and made it flutter with excitement and joy. No, he wasn't being taken back, things weren't "fixed"...but there was hope...just like Ryuukaze had promised him. That violinist was like some sort of insane cupid...but he was thankful for it. "No...we can't just pick up where we left off...that is true. But if you will indeed give me the chance, I will do anything to prove myself to you. I really, truly am regretful that I ever hurt you, but I understand and I agree...your nephew is far more important than I could ever be, and he must come first." he said, sounding like a perfectly rational father trying to work things out with a spouse he had been separated from. "Meet...Ko-kun? Are...you sure? I would love to, yes...but...I hate to admit I'm almost afraid. What if I embarrass myself...or he doesn't like me? And...I don't have a Christmas gift for the child..." Jun rambled on for a moment, then paused, shaking his head and laughing to himself. "Gomen...I'm being foolish. Yes, I would love to meet him...once I get into something more presentable and less...utterly ridiculous...." he motioned his hands down his frame at his "getup". "Oh...and...ah...about Ryuukaze-san...don't be angry with him, ne? He has...such a big heart...and he only means well. He's a good man." the dark haired vocalist asked softly, understanding that Shou was no fool and had the whole situation figured out just by what he said in his last sentence. "I don't believe he worked out any accommodations for me...he seems to be a very off the cuff, on the fly type of person when he gets an idea in his head...but I can arrange my own room. Just...let me go get changed and...I'll come back to you..." he turned to leave, then paused... "Oh...and one more thing..." he stopped, turning back around and stepping toward the blond, embracing him tightly one more time. "Arigatou." Hide it, Hide it
Hide me...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 12:07 pm
Do you know what you got into
Can you handle what I’m ’bout to do------------------------------------------------}:- SHOU
No escaping when I start .traeh ruoy nwo I ni m'I ecnO
Beautiful Dreamer
Shou had no perception of reality through his twisted memories. His sister was fractured images of Naoko in Sai's child hood and Haru had used that to assure Ko's safety in the superstar's world since Sai's own grasp of the body was fleeting at best. Sai knew the truth but the only relation that Shou could comprehend was the determined need to protect his nephew from danger...that danger could be anything and included Izo.
"He does!" Shou admitted with a sound nod and smile as he stared at the picture. "The boy swears he gets his piano talents from me. And I guess that just comes from my ability to play guitar that he is so inspired. He's a virtuoso and I can't help but be incredibly proud."
He nodded slowly, "You've a chance...and it will take time, Jun." The word time stressed. That part seemed to be a solid nonnegotiable reply. Shou obviously wasn't going to rush anything but it seemed that he was willing to give things a chance to simmer again. Who knew were it might lead but maybe somewhere brighter for both of them.
"Well, yes, I'm sure that it would be ok briefly. It's best he knows my world. And the people in it. I'd like him to feel safe rather than uncertain of his surroundings or where he stands in my life. Of course, mm...Naoko-kun may not be so pleased with that so be on your best behavior. I'm certain he won't be pleased that I'm giving you this opportunity either." he sighed slightly then brushed it off as he pocketed his phone, "However, he cannot really complain about my choices when his own are so...dubious at times. I'm his boss..and I've avoided involvement in his relationship with Ryuukaze-san so he should respect my decisions even if Naoko-kun's mm...Naoko-kun's bad luck has fallen upon my doorstep several times recently."
"Ah...just a bit of warning. Ko has probably experienced some....abuse...and well I'm going to see about having him evaluated by a child psychologist after the New Year. Something very bad happened to him and it was a challenge for Naoko-kun and I to pull the little boy out of his shell." Shou's warning didn't have much details but it probably was enough to get Jun's mind thinking.
"Ok...Arrange your room, change and meet me back here. I don't want to disturb Ko while he's getting his spa treatment with Naoko-kun and Ryuukaze-san. I want him to learn to accept a few other people around him so when I can't be right in the room he's ok." It also seemed like Shou had been seriously thinking about how to help Ko. Certainly it brought out a more parent aspect of the star. Jun might have been right. Shou would make a good mother...or father...if he could focus on it long enough. The problem was focus. Jun probably knew good and well that Shou had to fight more to keep from flitting from one thing to the next. And his high degree of stardom was going to make things extremely difficult once the Holidays were over.
-:{------------------------------------------------Cause it’s about to get rough for you
I’m here For Your Entertainment
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 12:27 pm
I can no longer return to those days free of bloodshed
These deep scars rooted within me will not disappear...
Jun simply listened and nodded. Listening, he felt, was the wisest thing to do right now. He had a lot to learn about the new way things were, and he had a lot of work to do to redeem himself in Shou's eyes. If he ever found out who hurt that little child, though...well, he didn't know what he would, or could, do....but he wished to end that person's life swiftly. Those who harmed innocent children were lower than dirt. "I understand." he promised the blond, making sure to meet the man's eyes so that Shou would know he had heard and understood every single word. "I'll be back as quickly as I can." and with that, Jun hurried out of the room, heading directly across the way to the room where he had "costumed" himself to begin with, eager to get out of this dress. Ryuukaze had been a mad genius to come up with this insane idea, but it had been so crazy, it had worked. However...Jun had no intentions of ever putting on female clothing again if he had any say in the matter. Once his face was washed clean of all the makeup and he was back in his dark jeans and tight, black ribbed turtleneck sweater, he headed out and down the hall to the front desk, arranged a room, got the key, and headed straight back to Shou, feeling more appropriate to be seen by his love, now, at least. With a light knock, he entered the room. It had only taken him about fifteen minutes, which, given his star history of costume changes, was perhaps somewhat slow, but he was back, looking like the man Shou remembered. Hide it, Hide it
Hide me...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 12:44 pm
Do you know what you got into
Can you handle what I’m ’bout to do------------------------------------------------}:- SHOU
No escaping when I start .traeh ruoy nwo I ni m'I ecnO
Beautiful Dreamer
While Jun was gone, Shou pondered his decision. Was it a good one? Only time would tell. He had done his best to not make the same mistakes a second time. He thought about his many conversation with Izzy and knew in his head the type of man that balanced his chaotic world. Even though, he couldn't have Izzy...no matter how many times that thought had come to his mind.
But the manager gave him strength those days on the boat when he had been nothing but insane and sometimes overly heroic. Extremes that were the worst and best in Shou. Looking down at his phone, he thought about texting the manager again but he had a feeling that might be too much right now.
Although he wanted to feel something stable holding him down for awhile. That thought crept in to his mercurial world. He had to get back to his music. Inspiration itched at his brain. All these things...drama, people, children. sometimes left him utterly drained.
Leaning against the fire place mantle, he just stood there trying to pull magic in from his other worldly nature. It was then a text arrived from Izzy....
Text: Awh...that fire place is a dream. I want one in my bedroom in Tokyo. I hope you have a good Christmas, Shou. If you need me, I'll have a new phone soon. Narcissus promises. -grins-
That made the star perked up and his lips curled into smile as he leaned against the mantle. "Ah...perfect timing as usually Izzy...."
He glanced back as Jun returned to the room with a slight smile from before. The man looked as he remembered...tall, handsome and dark. So opposite himself at times. Maybe that had been part of the attraction? Looking at the time on his phone then pocketing his phone within his pants, he said, "We've about 5 minutes before they are done. Should we go meet them?"
-:{------------------------------------------------Cause it’s about to get rough for you
I’m here For Your Entertainment
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 12:53 pm
I can no longer return to those days free of bloodshed
These deep scars rooted within me will not disappear...
"Yeah, I guess we should." Jun smiled, happy to see a slight smile on the blond's face. Shou was always so beautiful when he smiled. It didn't matter if it were Shou or Sai...the man was always incredibly beautiful. Opening the door for the blond, Jun took a step back and let Shou lead the way. He was nervous, yes, but he did his best to hide it. He didn't know how Naoko would react, and he didn't know how he would react to Ko-kun...but what intimidated him the most was the fact that he already knew that the boy had his heart, even though they hadn't even met yet. Hide it, Hide it
Hide me...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 12:54 pm
What a shock, it was so surprising,
You looked so small and frail------------------------------------------------}:-  Izzy Lucky
At times life can be so enlightening .uoy no nrut nac ti tuB
"A small tree? Oh good. I hope we can dig it out." he said with a grin as he hugged Akihiko tightly. "Ooh...I can't wait." Izzy liked sweets way too much and he seriously wanted to see Akihiko's baking skills in action. "HEY! I make good TOAST! And I can heat up...frozen dinner. I'd live!" he pointed out firmly with a frown on his lips. Of course that frown wasn't serious because he had learned to accept his lovers terrible teasing about his awful cooking skills.
But then the text message came in and Izzy peered at the phone then plucked it out of Akihiko's hand to give his own response while he said, "He is lucky. One day we should do that too! That looks like a 5 star resort." His shoulders slumped as he thought about the massage Shou might be getting. "Where's Michi when I need him?"
But then he thought about the phone. He had lost every one of them again in Hawaii. "I know. I miss my phones. I lost...5...no 6 phones." he moaned and then grumbled. "I have to go buy them...or order them and have them delivered..soon." He wasn't thinking about one phone like Narcissus had planned long time back but an array of phones again.
"I think you're right. I do have a text buddy." he grinned then laughed, "Jealous? Oh...I don't know he's your rival...mm..what do you think?" It was then he pulled up the hat of his coat just to hide what he did next. His lips took Narcissus' passionately pressing to part those soft pink lips against his own.
-:{------------------------------------------------I didn't know what to do
I grabbed the tiger by the tail!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 1:09 pm
Let the Memories of the Evening be...
the first think that you think of------------------------------------------------}:-  Tanaka Michi
Physical Therapist
Fingertips...walking up your spine...a tongue sliding right behind..
"I guess you can do nothing about that then." Michi answered as he glanced at Yuuji for a moment. The man probably knew a lot more than he said at times but it wasn't Michi's right to ask. He really shouldn't know. Safer that way to be sure. Michi liked his freedom after all even if he wanted to do more with Yuuji than just talk casual conversation.
Soon the driver returned and gave them the good then pulled the car just around the corner and down the street to Michi's mom's house. Once the men got up the stairs and knocked on the door. They were greeted by a middle aged woman that was stocky but in good shape for her age. She brushed flour out of her hair and invited them all in.
"Ah!. Michi! You've made it home. And who are your friends. I know you said you'd have guest with you but my boy you weren't very clear on who was coming. I almost expected Narcissus-san but obviously he is not with you."
Michi took the scolding well and introduced his guests, "Mother, this is Nezumi-san, my manager at Ohayou and my friend, Takagi-san, who works in security at Ohayou." Security was the best word that Michi could think of. He didn't know if bodyguard was the right call with all that Yuuji did.
"Well Nezumi-san, Takagi-san, It is a pleasure. I'm Tanaka Uruda, I've sleep spaces all ready and the kotatsu is warm. Plus plenty of hot carpets and blankets. Here, I'll take your coats. You may leave your shoes here." She invited them in to the small home that really didn't have too much space but it was very homey. A small tree was tucked in the corner of the room with a small host of packages. There were pictures of Michi as a kid along the wall and the smell of fresh food piped out of the kitchen.
Michi took the bags back to the kitchen and stuffed them in the frig while his mother help Nez and Yuuji into the living room to the kotasu where a few plates of appetizers sat ready. Cozy and normal was the best way to describe this house and it was easy to see that Michi's childhood didn't have any weirdness or other strange events. When he had said normal life, he had meant it.
-:{------------------------------------------------when you open up your smile and see me.
...Dark Star.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 4:49 pm
Listening to Ryu's words, Naoko's heart fell at ease. Once more, his akuma understood...
If the things that went on in that pit were actually going on between himself and Ryuukaze, of course he'd enjoy it. But those bastards weren't his Ryu... those sick... twisted...
But as he thought about such a thing, his lover's words penetrated those dark thoughts and amber eyes turned quickly to Ryu. "Jun needs to... well he just needs to make up his damn mind." the blond said angrily, that rage evident in his gaze. "He runs away from Shou, from Sai, from me... What does running accomplish? He's a coward... a lying coward... and I'm glad he's not a part of my brother's life right now."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 4:52 pm
Nezumi was glad to finally be where he was going to stay for the holidays. At least he knew it was going to be warm and pleasant...though in the back of his mind, he still dwelt upon the Christmas wishes he knew he wouldn't be getting.
Bowing, he greeted Michi's mother and let himself be led into the nice, warm living room, ready to warm his sock feet under the kotatsu.
"This is a lovely home you have here, Tanaka-san." he addressed Michi's mother politely, settling in and helping himself to a dumpling.
It really was cozy and nice here. As pleasant and cute as his star.
This was going to be a good holiday after all, he thought.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 5:11 pm
~( Lonely ) Mayotta nara~
~( Try again ) Nando datte~
~Yarinaosu koto dekiru kara~
"I think Jun's mind is quite made up, Naoko. And I think I have to disagree...he's not a lying coward, no more than you or anyone else who's been extremely damaged and messed up is. If I had to ask, I would ask you forgive the man...but that is between you and your heart. It's not for me to make decisions about what you do and don't feel." the violinist said simply, glancing over at Ko-kun, who was marveling at his blue nails and snowflake-painted toes as the spa attendant let the cotton candy face mask set. He could smell the sweet skin treatment all the way across the room. It did seem delightful, and Ko-kun looked absolutely in heaven. ~( I’m here )~ Soba ni iru wa~
~( Believe me ) Osorenai de~
~Shinjiau koto....~
~FOR YOU~
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 7:48 pm
Naoko shook his head, "I can't forgive him this time, Ryu-kun... I just... I forgave him for the hell he put me through. I forgave him for Hayato and the tragedy and pain that ensued there. But he hurt my brother. Broke my brother's heart. I can't forgive him..." the blond went silent before sighing softly. "Nor do I want to."
Amber eyes flickered over to his lover, "He brought it on himself. Just like I apparently, according to Shou's opinions, bring all this insanity upon myself. Sai knows it's not my fault but Shou thinks I'm a bumbling irresponsible buffoon... and maybe he's right."
Watching Ko-kun get his spa treatment kept the pianist together. The boy seemed to be having so much fun...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 8:05 pm
~( Lonely ) Mayotta nara~
~( Try again ) Nando datte~
~Yarinaosu koto dekiru kara~
With a distant, far away look in his eyes, Ryu listened. Well...that was how things were, then. He wasn't going to comment on any of that any further. Instead...he sighed, gazing at the floor with sad eyes. "Na-kun..." he began in a low tone, "is there anything I could ever do to make you hate me?" ~( I’m here )~ Soba ni iru wa~
~( Believe me ) Osorenai de~
~Shinjiau koto....~
~FOR YOU~
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
