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 Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 9:53 pm
Once again nearly everyone proves that they don't care for me, they rather want to go around making themselves happy and never even bother talking to me at least once. It disgusts me more about the world, it makes me know again how selfish people can be.
Here I am, sitting here still, and for them, someone who's non-existent.
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 10:09 pm
...That's sort of true. xD But the guilt isn't worth it. And, well... >,>; I'm getting near a scary weight. I really need to lose at least 20-30 pounds by the end of the year, probably more, for at the very least a healthy normal weight for my height and age.
Oh. :< That sounds frustrating. I hate, hate situations like that. Some things aren't meant to be and it's just horrible when people take frustrations out on you, let alone stupid expectations that can't be physically met.
Glasses are frustrating. I think my eyesight's just going to keep getting worse.
....XD I keep forgetting it's illegal to have "exotic" pets here.
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 10:16 pm
Nim: What kind of exotic? surprised
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 10:23 pm
I love when kids try to guilt me into something. Especially when they make that pouty face. I just make the face right back at them and they get all frustrated. It's great.
By the end of the year? That shouldn't be to hard to do.
I hate situations like that too. That's why I've kinda just resigned myself to being the ******** up of the family. That way no one really expects too much out of me.
I really need to start wearing my glasses though. My eyes are always hurting and it takes a while to focus on things.
I don't really consider a ferret all that "exotic". I mean seriously, people can have snakes that can eat you as pets but I can't have a ferret?
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 10:31 pm
I've tried being nice, really I have. But I'm just about ready to lose it. Every time that I see a certain individual online it makes me want to reach out and strangle them. Usually it takes a lot for me to hate someone to this extend, but I barely know this person. His mere existence just pisses me off. Probably for the fact that every time he says something he makes me want to slap him and tell him to grow the ******** up. Or that he just goes on and on about the same thing and pretty much does nothing to change his situation. I know I probably don't have any right to feel this way, especially because I complain about loads of things, but I can't help it. I just see the persons s/n and feel the hatred bubbling within me. Every time I see or hear that this person was talking to one of my friends I want to bash his head in with a two-by-four.
It's really petty and I don't really understand why I feel this way. I hate myself for not having a valid reason for hating this guy.
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 10:33 pm
Hate is like love, you need no reason to feel it.
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 10:36 pm
I pretty much think someone's saying they want to bash my head but that's most likely I'm angry, and people doesn't know how hard it is to keep yourself sane when you're schizophrenic and each time a voice whispers to me it keeps telling me to kill someone, or kill myself, and a lot more of other sins and negativity. I've tried my best, but they won't help me. After all, they tend to believe I'm some idiot who's always happy.
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 10:39 pm
Pouty Vin would be cute. >0> And I hope so. I've failed every year to lose weight, but I'm hoping possible moving out will help....
I wish I could do that. My parents keep just expecting more because they kind of view me as the last chance....
Yeah, it's better to get glasses than let lack of glasses make it worse, I think.
I don't even understand that bit of legislation, let alone the rest. xDThe weirdest animals aren't allowed.
@Night--Exotic as in anything, it seems like. xD Hedgehogs, certain kinds of fish/marine animals, random birds, surprisingly few reptiles...yeah.
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 10:39 pm
Reglare Excile I pretty much think someone's saying they want to bash my head but that's most likely I'm angry, and people doesn't know how hard it is to keep yourself when you're schizophrenic and each time a voice whispers to me it keeps telling me to kill someone, or kill myself, and a lot more of other sins and negativity. I've tried my best, but they won't help me. After all, they tend to believe I'm some idiot who's always happy.
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 10:41 pm
Nim: Why aren't they allowed? =(
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 10:41 pm
Vinicius Fernagon Reglare Excile I pretty much think someone's saying they want to bash my head but that's most likely I'm angry, and people doesn't know how hard it is to keep yourself when you're schizophrenic and each time a voice whispers to me it keeps telling me to kill someone, or kill myself, and a lot more of other sins and negativity. I've tried my best, but they won't help me. After all, they tend to believe I'm some idiot who's always happy.
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 10:45 pm
That one night Nim: Why aren't they allowed? =( Something about ecosystem interference or some crap? D: I've NO idea, google isn't helping much this time.
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 10:45 pm
Jer0nim0 Pouty Vin would be cute. >0> And I hope so. I've failed every year to lose weight, but I'm hoping possible moving out will help.... I wish I could do that. My parents keep just expecting more because they kind of view me as the last chance.... Yeah, it's better to get glasses than let lack of glasses make it worse, I think. I don't even understand that bit of legislation, let alone the rest. xDThe weirdest animals aren't allowed. I'm sure you'll be able to do it once you set your mind to it. That's why I feel bad for my brother and sisters. I've failed my parents so much that they have a lot to make up for. I'll probably schedule an appointment with an eye doctor in a few months or something to get new glasses.
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 10:59 pm
Well, we're trying some weird diets. Like the cabbage diet. e,e Going to be weeeeird.
I think that's why my sis is so awesome to me. Could be that I'm her clone, too, but yeah... Only way to make it worse is be freakishly amazing at what you're supposed to do, but change your mind as to what to do at the last minute. xD
You might want to make sure you get some dispensable contacts too. ^^ For occasions and stuff.
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 11:12 pm
Cabbage diet? I don't think I've ever heard of that one.
My siblings handle all the pressure amazingly well. I would've cracked a long time ago if I was one of them. It makes me feel horrible when I hear them defending me against my parents though. It's not their responsibility. That's probably why I go out of my way to do things for them.
I might just skip getting the glasses and just get contacts instead.
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