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bittersweet and evocative
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 Posted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 9:56 pm
Hey guys. OG LoLo, you are perfectly right - we are taking care of each other. It's the first time when I've had a group of people who when they say "I understand" they ACTUALLY understand. And I want other people to feel this same way. So Boldie, I'm going to keep on supporting everyone here. And that means you, too, ok? I'm not going to make a long reply to your message here, because I'm about to go and make you another recording. so PLEASE can you check your email in the morning (or asap)? There will be a message for you, and I don't care how rambly I am in it, or how much the pain makes me incomprehensible, there WILL me a voice message for you. Ok, *breaths deeply* now that I've got that out...
OG LoLo, I absolutely love your idea about having a utopian castle for us all to live in. I'm going to hold onto that. When the pain gets bad and when it feels like everything is packing in, I'm going to transport myself to that castle, where we can relax, where I can play music ><, and where we can all just be in each other's presence. I'm not sure if you guys realise how amazing that thought is for me - that I could physically be in the company of people who understand what it is to feel this pain. Idk how to properly explain that feeling so I'm going to stop rambling now...
I hope you are all having a good day - Darlene I'm glad that you managed to get some of your christmas shopping done! I'm off to help with dinner and then make Boldie her message. Love you all and my prayers are with you. Love, Ailsa xx
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 9:36 am
Ailsa, I haven't read that email yet, because I'm afraid if there's ANYTHING in there, about what I just wrote, he's gonna have a fit ! So, I need to do this when he's sleeping or something like that. I also have to get that title to the truck, because if he DOES leave, my name is on that title ONLY. And then, I'll just report it stolen. And put his a** in jail. Yeah.... then he'll hate me for life. That's not good. Idk, I have to handle this carefully. More later from me. Thank you everyone. It's still going on--- the fussing, and today is Monday. And we're about to get socked with $35.00 EACH overdraft fees from the bank. Gee, can't wait for that to hit. OMG. What am I going to do??????? (ends with crying)
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 1:14 pm
thank you so much bittersweet and good luck hope you have yours done i was going to get my hubby's gifts but my daughter wont come home and take me she is being very hateful it really hurts i just don't understand and boldie i am so sorry about all your problems sure wish i could help if you need to talk please feel free to talk to me okay that is not good i am praying it all gets better try to hang in there sweetheart oh man i just feel so bad for you i am so sorry
soft hugs
love Darlene
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 2:57 pm
Boldie? I AM SO SORRY! I am not married, but I can just GUESS what this is like for you! I know that vows are there! Vows are supposed to keep you two bonded together! I think, if you havn't done so already, talk back to him! Tell him, exactly how you feel, be strict about it, and tell him that Gaia helps you let everything out since people there seem to actually listen! I know, that may sound mean, but if you are too soft, It'll just sound like this, "You know, I don't think it's nice of you to treat me this way, and that.... *Blah blah blah*" Unless of course, you have already done something similar to that. You see what I'm trying to say? Raise your voice, just a little, and maybe then he will realize that you do care and that you understand how it must be hard to be "the man of the house", etc. You know? I'm not saying to yell, 'cause that just makes it worse. Just put a little edge in your voice. I love you! <3 And don't worry about the money thing. You aren't alone! My parents are divorced (Yet, they are still REALLY, and I mean REALLY good friends) so my dad is a Mechanic (He's certified in EVERYTHING related to that service) and he pays child support. SOmetimes. He has money issues. It's not like he's a druggie or anything, it's just that mechanics aren't paid by the hour, just by the car's bill. And he USED to rent a trailer in Shenandoah. But he quit his job and moved to Gainsville, VA. He stayed there for about 2 years, and he just recently moved out. His landlord WAS COMPLETELY UNFAIR. Like, it's not funny! So, now he's liveing my my aunt (His sister) for now. He has a really good job at the moment! YAY!
Now, my Mom works two jobs. On Mondays, from 8am-3pm she works at a Photography Portrait Studio and then from 3pm-'bout 1am she manages/waitresses/bartends at a restraunt. On tuesdays, it's the studio from 8-5. Wednesday is the same as monday, and thursday the same as tuesday. Fridays... I forget fridays... oopsies! And occasionally on Saturdays she works at the studio and/or bartends. That barely pays the bills. And we just got our Christmas Tree on Saturday and got MOST of our Christmas Prestents yesterday. (We are finishing tomorrow). Then, I work as a babysitter, do landscaping, (Mowing, weeding, planting, watering, etc.) I also shovel and sand snow, I dog walk, and other neighborly things. But, yeah. That's my rant replying to boldie! >w< <3
What's Stressing Lindsy? ::
Well, Here is the list~~
Get Christmas Tree
Put Lights and Decorations on Tree
Finish outside decorations
Finsih inside decorations
Do English Project
Do American Studies Project
Do Science Project
Homework
OG LoLo:: I SO WANT THAT PALACEY-THING! But, outside next to the garden, I would like a 200acre fenced in cage, as a Wolf Reservation. <3 I could take care of my wolfies! And, Stables in the garden? I do have 4 horses to board... Teehee!
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A_Wolf_Drowning_In_Blood Crew
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:25 pm
i so agree with you A_Wolf_Drowning_In_Blood i think being stern and not yell but tell him how you feel i pray it works out sweetheart i will move in that big palace with everyone that would be awesome with wolf's and horses and my 3 dogs lol i am praying things get better for everyone i hope you all can hang in there and wow that is a lot of working A_Wolf_Drowning_In_Blood i hope your family will get some time to relax
soft hugs
love Darlene
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 6:08 pm
Sorry I havne't been here much lately. I have been sick pretty much since Thanksgiving and just in the last few days actually feel completely well. (still a bit of a naggy cough but I can manage that) also I am trying to finish up memorial teddy bears for my brother's family so I can get them shipped out hopefully tomorrow (we lost him last Christmas eve very unexpectedly).
Hugs to everyone who needs them and positive thoughts as well.
Boldie I am so sorry you are going thru all this with your hubby - from what I am gathering I am wondering if maybe he is having some major depression issues at seeing you in so much pain? My hubby suffers from clinical depression and it comes out in spurts of uncontrollable anger sometimes at what seems to be the smallest thing. Doesn't make it right by any means but it may be a bit of an explanation especially since you said his mother required care as well. I hope things work out as I agree vows are very very important and not easily cast aside. I hope you heal quickly so you don't have the additional pain that you are having right now. Hugs sweetie and if you need to talk send me a message please!
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 8:13 pm
AliciaLeone OGLoLo ~ I love your house idea!! I have always wanted an old victorian mansion where each room was a different theme. I always wanted to have one room where the walls were fish and shark tanks.
I wish we lived near enough (all of us) to where we could have an arts and crafts time every week, I think that would be wonderful! A_Wolf_Drowning_In_Blood OG LoLo:: I SO WANT THAT PALACEY-THING! But, outside next to the garden, I would like a 200acre fenced in cage, as a Wolf Reservation. <3 I could take care of my wolfies! And, Stables in the garden? I do have 4 horses to board... Teehee! Godsbabybear i so agree with you A_Wolf_Drowning_In_Blood i think being stern and not yell but tell him how you feel i pray it works out sweetheart i will move in that big palace with everyone that would be awesome with wolf's and horses and my 3 dogs lol i am praying things get better for everyone i hope you all can hang in there and wow that is a lot of working A_Wolf_Drowning_In_Blood i hope your family will get some time to relax soft hugs love Darlene wink razz wink razz wink razz wink razz wink razz wink razz wink razz wink razz wink razz wink razz wink razz wink razz wink razz wink razz wink razz wink razz wink razz wink razz ~*~BEHOLD HSLS UTOPIAN CASTLE~*~This is exactly what I'd envision our palace to b like. W/ rooms huge-wide-big enuff for everyone n everything. Boldie u're welcome there 2 *hugs*. n Ailsa (u're included) I didn't forget u - I just didn't feel like requoting. May u all find some peace thru the struggles of life. ~XxX~
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 10:01 pm
Boldie ~ I am certainly praying for you, everything seems to be falling apart but you have to hold on! My pastor taught a great message yesterday; that God uses little things in big ways, that everything works in God's perfect timing, and that only through Jesus Christ can we find true peace. That turns Bedlam (insane asylum in London whose original name was Mary's Hospital of Bethlehem but was shortened to Bedlam, therefore creating the meaning of the word Bedlam.) into Bethlehem (peaceful country town of Jesus' birth). I hope that did not bother anyone, I was not trying to offend, only give hope.
Ailsa ~ We certainly are taking care of each other! Our group keeps me going even on days when I don't write anything for whatever reason. It is so comforting just like you said that I know each and every person here knows what I go through. That I am not the only one my age helps even more...
Angelbaskets ~ Welcome back! I am glad you are feeling better. I am sorry about your brother, that sounds so terrible... My mom lost her dad when she was 9 years old just a few days before Christmas. It hurts her even now.
Lindsy ~ It sounds like your dad is getting his feet back under him with the new job, I am glad. smile I wish it was easier for your mom though. You are blessed to have your parents still get along so well. Most divorced couples don't and it takes a toll on their kids. My brother in-law goes through hell because of his ex-wife. She uses their kids to get back at him. She has alot of mental health problems though... Although I am glad your list of stressful things is getting shorter! I love your wolf reservation idea. We should surround the entire castle with reservations. Each one a different biome so that animals from all over the world could live in their own safe utopia.
OGLoLo ~ *Gasps* I love our castle, I wish we could all run away to it together... It is truly beautiful.
~*~ I have an idea everyone! You know how we list our accomplishment for that day? We should also add 1 detail to our utopian home, especially on a bad day. I know it lifts my spirits. ~*~
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bittersweet and evocative
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 10:21 pm
Wow - so many replies from just last night! Firstly, Boldie that is perfectly fine that you haven't listened to it yet. I do say in the first 5 seconds that you may want to wear headphones >< *sigh* this is so incredibly unfair for you to have to go through this. *angry face* I'm sending you some amazing pain-free, healing hugs ok?
Alicia, I like your idea about the castle! Then, we can re-read them when we're feeling down.
OG LoLo, that castle is EXACTLY how I pictured it, too. *smiles* I love it. So I'm going to get the ball rolling with Alicia's idea...
Additions to HSLS's Castle: An inside courtyard, so when our pain is too bad to get outside, we can still enjoy some fresh air and the sound of running water (there has to be a fountain, too!).
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 12:21 pm
i sure pray that things get better i always believe that everything happens for a reason so it will all work out sweetheart hang in there try not to freak out okay boldie big big soft hugs and og lolo i love the castle can we move in now sorry not as up today having a bad day so soft hugs to all of you
love Darlene
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 3:50 pm
Hi all ! I personally know boldie--I go to her house sometimes, so yeah we live like idk 6 miles from each other (?) So, I went, and she's all torn up. Still crying from what I can see. Her eyes are swollen. She told me to tell ya'll that she won't be coming online anytime soon. I told her I understand and will relay the message. I also put this in the prayer thing that's under this forum. Geez, I know I'm just a kid myself, but I can't stop thinking about her, and I'm afraid to call. Something GOOD has got to come out of this for her. I know she loves him very much and has KEPT her vows--that's what she told me, but...... idk, I try and stay out of his way and we just go into another room. I don't know if he's questioned why I am over. Maybe I shouldn't for a while. Idk. In relation to everyone else, I'm like soooo supporting all of ya'll and you can lean on me, too.
Love, Suze
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 5:05 pm
Wonderful idea Alicia smile
We should add details/themes/rooms 2 our utopia castle. Then I'll recap what we'd added so far on each new pg, so u guys don't hafta go thru the trouble of looking bac.
Here's what we got so far in our castle:
*arts&crafts,
*paintings,
*arcades/video games,
*library,
*a sauna/spa/jacuzzi indoor swimming pool,
*a maze-like garden,
*a surround-sound theater,
*an instrument room (ie. piano, harp, violin, etc),
*a karaoke room,
*indoor pets room,
*tunnel-like aquarium
*outside next to the garden, a 200acre fenced in cage, as a Wolf Reservation.
*Stables 4 horses to board
*entire castle surround w/ reservations for diff animals - each a diff biome (animal utopia).
*An inside courtyard w/ fresh air & the sound of running water (includes a fountain).
@Godsbaby ~ Sure, we can move in any time! ;P U might enjoy our spa/sauna/jacuzzi room - its very soothing, calming, n relaxing to ease all ur pains.
@Suze ~ TY 4 the update on boldie. U're a good neighbor n friend - I know u just wanna help her, we all do too. But sometimes it is best to step aside n give that person (boldie) some space so they can decides what to do next. Yes, u should stay near but don't call or come over til things get better for boldie. That's the best thing u can do for her now. Respect her privacy.
@boldie ~ Wherever u r, know that the entire HSLS is praying for u. We're keeping u in our prayers tonite n every nite til this mess blow over... n u can b bac here again w/ us. Cos I'm still waiting for u to join our utopian castle. Oh boldie, u'll luv it there.... no stress just peace n harmony. --;<3
~XxX~
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 8:11 pm
that sounds great thanks og lolo oh i sent a friend request okay i talked to boldie and she is trying to hang in there i told her i was there for her too i told her when ever she wants to talk she can write so not to nag her with all that is going on i think sometimes you need a lone time sorry i just feel that way not saying all the time i think being in the castle just with people who know the pain i am in is good enough for me wow that would be awesome okay how about
a huge awesome kitchen with a chief that has every thing we need
soft hugs
got my hubby's Christmas presents and my son's
still have to take care of my daughter and other son and father wow way to much to do!!!!!!!
love Darlene
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 9:49 pm
Ahaaha, wow it's been a busy week.
Boldie:: I sent you a PM. Because.. I do that when I have a lot to say to people in HSLS. Just remember you're loved by so many people and we're all praying for you. (along with everything else in the PM biggrin )
Godsbabybear:: I'm sorry you're having a bad day today. D: Get lots of rest and hopefully tomorrow will be brighter~
Ailsa:: I have a weird feeling I still have a PM from forever ago to reply to you about. neutral I hope being off from school now has been giving you some time to relax a bit, even though it's the busy holiday time of the year.
OG LoLo:: LOL everytime I scroll on this page I stop for about a minute to stare at that picture you posted, it's a really beautiful building! *slightly nerdy about builidng styles when they're cool*
Everyone else:: Stay smiling heart
Accomplishment:: Started finals for school today.
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Kira-fightingdreamer Crew
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bittersweet and evocative
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Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 2:56 am
Boldie, I agree with OG LoLo - you are in my prayers and you do what's best for you at the moment. You have brought us all together here and shown us how we can support each other, so now its your turn to step back and focus on one thing at a time. I think I speak for all of us here when I say that we'll keep battling on and supporting one another. Although I'm only 17, I feel like I've more mature than that, and I'm happy to have the temporary role of "Mother" while Boldie's gone.
Kira, there may have been a PM but don't worry! We can start a new conversation >< I'm relaxing a little now that's school is done - I have been wrapping presents though, and enrolling for University. All those sorts of things that I have to do before I pack and go away for Christmas. How are you doing?
Oh, Darlene. Do you think you could please make your text slightly larger because it's really hurting my eyes to attempt too read it. I know I'm not the only one here with vision problems so it would be great if you could increase it. Thank you! xx
I'm currently working on a video which I'm going to put on youtube about mine and Lara's condition, so I'll post the link here after I'm finished with it. I't's for a project called 'Project 4 Awesome' where people choose a charity to support (I'm using RSD Hope) and then other people on youtube rate it, and simultaneously spread awareness. Its a great opportunity so I've been working on that this evening, too. So busy!
I better go to sleep as I have an appointment nice and early tomorrow *ugh*Love and prayers to you all and may your pain be less in the morning. xx Ailsa xx
Addition to HSLS's Castle: Elevators instead of stairs for those of us who struggle to walk.
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