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 Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 6:02 pm
Vinicius Fernagon My foot is throbbing. I knew I shouldn't have played that game but I couldn't resist. I won't let anyone else play a game in my house unless I've at least tried it first.
My eyes are all watery and itchy. I feel (and look) like I've been run over by a car like 20 times. I've gotten maybe 2 hours of sleep in the last three days. I spent the better part of today laying down, staring at my ceiling, and repeating 'sleep' over and over to myself. Didn't help in the least bit. All it did was get me even more frustrated than I already was.
I'm beginning to think that my friends IRL only like me because I fix their computers for them for free. One of my friends called me at like 8 this morning begging me to come fix their computer. I told her that I sprained my ankle and could barely walk let alone drive. She told me I was being selfish and just didn't care about her or her problems enough to help her. I told her she could bring it to my house and I would fix it for her and all she said was its too inconvenient for her to drive over here. It's not only her that does this, most of my friends act this way towards me.
I'm tired of people always treating me like crap. Like they can barely stand to be around me. I would understand if I was rude or impolite or anything like that. But I try my best to be friendly to everyone. I go out of my way to be nice to people, even people that I know don't like me. Hell, I even let some of my friends walk all over me just because I can't stand people disliking me or even being mad at me.
I'm so pathetic.
/cuddles pillow to transfer hug to Vin as much as physically possible. Maybe for your foot you can get some ice to numb it?
And for sleep, if not pills, try to listen/read/watch/drink something that makes you feel more relaxed?
I'm sure your friends are just PMSing or something, I know you're a sweet person and I'm wanting to slap them right now. >A>; That's not right of her.
I wish I could see you right now. You're not pathetic, you're easily one of the most selfless people I've ever met, and I wish I could be there so you would know that. And it's hard to communicate all of that to you just with words. But I love you, and I hope you feel better soon, Vin. <333
If you ever need to talk to someone, you can def chat with me via Skype--I just don't initiate anything because I don't want to catch you at a bad time again--so anytime, mmk? I'm doing homework right now but I can still chat perfectly fine. ^^
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Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 10:51 pm
I can't tell if I'm about to have a heartattack or am I just having another panic attack.*Quickly pulls out canon in d to listen to.*
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Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 11:02 pm
I think I just got someone mad at me. He's always so "Drugs suck, I can't believe anyone would do that." I told him caffeine was a drug and he tried to defend himself by saying he's not addicted to it. When I said pot isn't physically addictive he thought I was defending someone. I wasn't, I just think you should have all the facts before you go on a crusade.
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Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 11:19 pm
I feel sick, I'm not sure what it is but it's obnoxious. I can't seem to pay attention to much either, I just skimmed through what I missed in this thread without processing most of it except that some people need hugs.
(/hugs everyone that needs a hug, and everyone else for good measure)
Bedtime now, I think. :/
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Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 11:57 pm
If I don't get out of here, I'm going to take a bunch of pills and end this s**t.
I can't take this anymore. I just can't.
It's just a parent being stupid and crazy and yelling but she won't leave me the ******** alone.
Such a stupid ******** reason. I'm just eating in front of the ******** computer because I don't see ants here. I always eat here because of that. But she sees me once andwon't shut up for ******** hours it won't stop
I've never anything from her other than stupid parental permission for s**t for the past few years. I can't do anything like this. I'm supposed to be doing homework but I can't ******** even concentrate. She won't jsut shut up and leave me alone, just in my face and threatening to hit me over and over and I just.
I'm PMSing like ******** and bleeding so badly I feel ******** anemic and I'm cramping and dizzy and ******** tired but I can't sleep because I'm so ******** stressed now.
Why can't she just leave me alone? I just need her to stop. Just ******** stop. So ******** egjk;ds;kn tired I feel like I'm getting an asthma attack from ******** crying now, GOD ******** DAMN IT.
Sometimes I just wish I had some sort of terminal disease so I could just die and actually feel like someone I knew IRL would give a s**t. We could pretend I had something to live for and I'd be comforted and would be so concentrated on the physical pain and knowing I'd die that it wouldn't bother me, and everyone I know would say I love you and I wouldn't have to pretend that I haven't heard a single person say that to me in the past year meaning it realy, or only when they want something from me. I wouldn't have to pretend that at leat one person meant it and I could completely believe in God like I want to and I wouldn't feel so ******** sick and tired sometimes. I want to be ******** selfish damn it.
I think she's stopped but I can't even be happy she's stopped, I almost want it to continue so I can just find a reason to piss her off and make her hit me and beat me until I'm at least numb like before.
I hate this. It's probably because of my PMSing But. I hate this. I just want it all to stop.
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Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 12:10 am
Jer0nim0 If I don't get out of here, I'm going to take a bunch of pills and end this s**t. I can't take this anymore. I just can't. It's just a parent being stupid and crazy and yelling but she won't leave me the ******** alone. Such a stupid ******** reason. I'm just eating in front of the ******** computer because I don't see ants here. I always eat here because of that. But she sees me once andwon't shut up for ******** hours it won't stop I've never anything from her other than stupid parental permission for s**t for the past few years. I can't do anything like this. I'm supposed to be doing homework but I can't ******** even concentrate. She won't jsut shut up and leave me alone, just in my face and threatening to hit me over and over and I just. I'm PMSing like ******** and bleeding so badly I feel ******** anemic and I'm cramping and dizzy and ******** tired but I can't sleep because I'm so ******** stressed now. Why can't she just leave me alone? I just need her to stop. Just ******** stop. So ******** egjk;ds;kn tired I feel like I'm getting an asthma attack from ******** crying now, GOD ******** DAMN IT. Sometimes I just wish I had some sort of terminal disease so I could just die and actually feel like someone I knew IRL would give a s**t. We could pretend I had something to live for and I'd be comforted and would be so concentrated on the physical pain and knowing I'd die that it wouldn't bother me, and everyone I know would say I love you and I wouldn't have to pretend that I haven't heard a single person say that to me in the past year meaning it realy, or only when they want something from me. I wouldn't have to pretend that at leat one person meant it and I could completely believe in God like I want to and I wouldn't feel so ******** sick and tired sometimes. I want to be ******** selfish damn it. I think she's stopped but I can't even be happy she's stopped, I almost want it to continue so I can just find a reason to piss her off and make her hit me and beat me until I'm at least numb like before. I hate this. It's probably because of my PMSing But. I hate this. I just want it all to stop. Is there somewhere you can go right now? Can you take a walk? Can you get away from the house?
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Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 12:17 am
I'm not allowed to and I'd get in trouble with my dad too. IT's 12 AM. I can't sleep right nwo.
Trying to calm down and read. its sort of helping, I think.
I wish I had my inhaler.
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Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 12:26 am
Jer0nim0 I'm not allowed to and I'd get in trouble with my dad too. IT's 12 AM. I can't sleep right nwo. Trying to calm down and read. its sort of helping, I think. I wish I had my inhaler. Just try take your mind off it. I hope everything turns out okay heart
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Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 1:05 am
Jer0nim0 If I don't get out of here, I'm going to take a bunch of pills and end this s**t. I can't take this anymore. I just can't. ...I seriously think my heart stopped when I read this. I agree that it's over something pretty stupid. The best thing that works for me in situations like that is to take a deep breath and try and tune that person out. If that doesn't work try imagining her sounding like the teacher from Charlie Brown. Jer0nim0 I'm PMSing like ******** and bleeding so badly I feel ******** anemic and I'm cramping and dizzy and ******** tired but I can't sleep because I'm so ******** stressed now. Try drinking some tea and laying down, preferably with one of those heated water things or a heated blanket. My sisters say that always works for them. Jer0nim0 ...everyone I know would say I love you and I wouldn't have to pretend that I haven't heard a single person say that to me in the past year meaning it really... I swear that when we meet at AX I'll tell you I love you so many times that you'll never want to hear it again.
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Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 1:39 am
sdjfkajds;fja. Sorrysorrysorry.
I knew I shouldn't have posted anything, I think I'm okay now, I was just having a panic-stress kind of attack. I'm a bit better now, someone in a chat helped me distract myself so I've been reading for about an hour straight.
I can't really tune her out before. One of the things that drives me crazy is people constantly telling me I'm lying or something like that and she does it all the time, plus she follows me and I'm just... well, I'm going to stop thinking about it.
Most of the normal medical stuff doesn't work so well for me. It's probably the PCOS stuff.
....That is one of the sweetest, most stunningly romantic things I've ever heard, let alone directed at me. @,@ /turned bright red, not even kidding.
And again, really sorry guys... I get like that sometimes, a couple times a month when my mom starts yelling at me for a few hours at a time... I usually tear myself away from the computer by then but I didn't this time, dunno why. All I can say is that I'm an idiot and I'm sorry for worrying anyone who was still up to read it. I'll do my best and won't let myself bug you guys again.
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Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 1:51 am
Jer0nim0 And again, really sorry guys... I get like that sometimes, a couple times a month when my mom starts yelling at me for a few hours at a time... I usually tear myself away from the computer by then but I didn't this time, dunno why. All I can say is that I'm an idiot and I'm sorry for worrying anyone who was still up to read it. I'll do my best and won't let myself bug you guys again. It's completely fine! The same thing happens too me too sometimes. Glad you're feeling better =D
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Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 2:02 am
Jer0nim0 I'll do my best and won't let myself bug you guys again. This right here will not do one bit. Bug us!!! Bug us all you want! I'd rather you let me/us worry about you and vent than not know anything at all. <333
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Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 2:03 am
Jer0nim0 ....That is one of the sweetest, most stunningly romantic things I've ever heard, let alone directed at me. @,@ /turned bright red, not even kidding.And again, really sorry guys... I get like that sometimes, a couple times a month when my mom starts yelling at me for a few hours at a time... I usually tear myself away from the computer by then but I didn't this time, dunno why. All I can say is that I'm an idiot and I'm sorry for worrying anyone who was still up to read it. I'll do my best and won't let myself bug you guys again. If you think that's romantic just wait till we actually meet. I'll spoil you rotten <333 You're not an idiot. Everyone gets like that sometimes. Hell, I was like that earlier. You posting stuff like this most definitely (******** yes, first time ever spelling that word without having to check how to spell it correctly) does not bug me. I want to know when things are bothering you <33
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Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 2:10 am
Vinicius Fernagon Jer0nim0 ....That is one of the sweetest, most stunningly romantic things I've ever heard, let alone directed at me. @,@ /turned bright red, not even kidding.And again, really sorry guys... I get like that sometimes, a couple times a month when my mom starts yelling at me for a few hours at a time... I usually tear myself away from the computer by then but I didn't this time, dunno why. All I can say is that I'm an idiot and I'm sorry for worrying anyone who was still up to read it. I'll do my best and won't let myself bug you guys again. If you think that's romantic just wait till we actually meet. I'll spoil you rotten <333 You're not an idiot. Everyone gets like that sometimes. Hell, I was like that earlier. You posting stuff like this most definitely (******** yes, first time ever spelling that word without having to check how to spell it correctly) does not bug me. I want to know when things are bothering you <33 ...@,@ You already do, so I'm almost scared what that would mean in your book. I just feel bad for posting it when I should be used to it by now and it worried you. And that definitely part made me laugh. xDD But thanks. ouo I'm going to attempt sleep now. Thanks again guys, and night! And sweet dreams, Vin. I love you. /sends one last e-hug. <3
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Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 12:34 pm
Okay, I really need people to read this and respond. Just so I know people are reading it.
I just got back to school. As I was walking down the dorm hallway, I saw that there were five vacant rooms (had no names on the doors). One of the rooms was the one next to me, where the girl from last semester had moved out. You know, the whole fiasco with her being really loud. And the walls are sickeningly thin on this side.
Well I go and unpack. Ten minutes later, there's now a name sign on said room.
There are five ******** free rooms.
Why the ******** are you putting a person next to the girl who can't stand sound?
Why the ********?
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