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 Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 8:49 pm
Nudge one hundred and fifty-three
151. I will not set myself up as a god. That perilous position is reserved for my trusted lieutenant. heart
152. I will instruct my fashion designer that when it comes to accessorizing, second-chance body armor goes well with every outfit.
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 8:49 pm
Nudge one hundred and fifty-four
153. My Legions of Terror will be an equal-opportunity employer. Conversely, when it is prophesied that no man can defeat me, I will keep in mind the increasing number of non-traditional gender roles. heart
154. I will instruct my Legions of Terror in proper search techniques. In particular, if they are searching for escapees and someone shouts, "Quick! They went that way!", they must first ascertain the identity of this helpful informant before dashing off in hot pursuit.
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 8:52 pm
Nudge one hundred and fifty-five
155. If I know of any heroes in the land, I will not under any circumstance kill their mentors, teachers, and/or best friends.
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 8:54 pm
Nudge one hundred and fifty-six
156. If I have the hero and his party trapped, I will not wait until my Superweapon charges to finish them off if more conventional means are available. heart
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 8:57 pm
Nudge one hundred and fifty-seven
157. When plans are drawn up that include a time-table, I'll post-date the completion three days after it's scheduled to occur and not worry too much if they get stolen.
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 9:00 pm
Nudge one hundred and fifty-eight
158. I will exchange the labels on my folder of top-secret plans and my folder of family recipes. Imagine the hero's surprise when he decodes the stolen plans and finds instructions for Grandma's Potato Salad. heart
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 9:07 pm
Nudge one hundred and fifty-nine
159. If I burst into rebel headquarters and find it deserted except for an odd, blinking device, I will not walk up and investigate; I'll run like hell.
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 9:08 pm
Nudge one hundred and sixty
160. Before being accepted into my Legions of Terror, potential recruits will have to pass peripheral vision and hearing tests, and be able to recognize the sound of a pebble thrown to distract them. heart
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 9:12 pm
Nudge one hundred and sixty-one
161. I will occasionally vary my daily routine and not fall into a rut. For example, I will not always take a swig of wine or ring a gong before finishing off my enemy.
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 9:14 pm
Nudge one hundred and sixty-two
162. If I steal something very important to the hero, I will not put it on public display. heart
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 9:16 pm
Nudge one hundred and sixty-three
163. When planning an expedition, I will choose a route for my forces that does not go through thick, leafy terrain conveniently located near the rebel camp.
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 9:19 pm
Nudge one hundred and sixty-four
164. I will hire one hopelessly stupid and incompetent lieutenant, but make sure that he is full of misinformation when I send him to capture the hero. heart
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 9:21 pm
Nudge one hundred and sixty-five
165. As an equal-opportunity employer, I will have several hearing-impaired body-guards. That way if I wish to speak confidentially with someone, I'll just turn my back so the guards can't read my lips instead of sending all of them out of the room. heart
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 9:22 pm
Nudge one hundred and sixty-six
166. If the rebels manage to trick me, I will make a note of what they did so that I do not keep falling for the same trick over and over again.
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 9:24 pm
Nudge one hundred and sixty-seven
167. If I am recruiting to find someone to run my computer systems, and my choice is between the brilliant programmer who's head of the world's largest international technology conglomerate and an obnoxious 15-year-old dork who's trying to impress his dream girl, I'll take the brat and let the hero get stuck with the genius. heart
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