The Looking Glass Book Store

[Lin McGearloch]

Grimma's rascal let off quite the loud *POP!* as another cloud of black smoke engulfed her own beloved grandson as she tattered past him and toward the aforementioned goremance section.

Lin coughed and fanned the air, waving away the black smoke when he caught sight of something from out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head right quick and could have sworn he saw a familiar looking face at the window but they ducked down quickly from out of sight.

Lin frowned and looked at Draconia.

"Ye got any 'Normie For Dummies" books? Or better yet, how about a few no pest strips for normies?"  

[Draconia St George]

Draconia frowned. "We allow normies to shop in here just like we allow monsters, Lin. In fact, just last week a nice older gentleman normie came in here and asked for the grand tour. Truthfully, I think it's fangTAStic that normies are showing an interest in monster literature. There are so many uhhhmazing books out there, written by normies and monsters alike that I think EVERYone should read! Like this one!"

Draconia reached on a shelf and pulled off a copy of 'Forbitten Friendship,' waving it in front of Lin's face. "The story of the friendship between a normie boy and a werebear! Or this one!"

Plopping that book into Lin's open claws, she reached up and grabbed several more.

"And this one! And this one too! Oooh, mustn't forget about 'Of Mice and Mansters!' And this one, and this one, and this one...."

Plop! Plop! Plop! Soon, twenty books were stacked neatly in Lin's claws, making the small gremlin stagger under the sheer weight.

"Ooh, this is one of my FAVOURITES. You simply MUST read 'Starship Goopers.' It's about a planet of slime creatures who are invaded by militant normies! Oh! And this one! And this one too! And-"  

[Lin McGearloch]

"But...I... only came for...!"

By now Draconia couldn't even see Lin as she was quite the enthusiastic sales ghoul, and had piled his hands full of various books, fiction and non, on the relationships between normies and monsters of all sorts.

The only thing that she could see were Lin's small legs wobbling beneath the sheer weight behind the sheer volume of books that he was holding. Then the coup de grace; Draconia spotted the list of school books Lin needed and had dropped. She slid that in between two of the books and his legs started to stumble back and forth... a rumble started... and the leaning tower of Draconia finally came tumbling down!

All you could see of Lin were his small legs kicking beneath the mountain of books -- well for a two foot tall gremlin it is a mountain.

Then the pops and explosions of black smoke and wheeze of gears and a motor heralded the return of Lin's Grimma as she drove up to the massive pileup. The baskets attached to the front and back of her rascal were loaded to the bursting point with goremance novels featuring Fangio on each and every cover. She closely inspected the pileup and spotted her grandson's boots before...

"beep!* *beep!*

"I'm tryin' Grimma! I'm tryin'!"  

[Draconia St George]

Draconia rang up Lin and his Grimma and smiled as they headed on out back to the McGearloch homestead. She looked around...maybe Wyvernia wasn't going to be quite as helpful around the shop as she'd hoped. When school came back in session, Draconia was going to have to hire someone to work the day shift, no two bones about it. She knew it wasn't what Uncle Wocky preferred, but short of dropping out of school to work or closing the shoppe all day, it was the only choice.

Draconia sighed...at least that was a challenge for a future day. For now, she had to prepare! Today was to be the last Summer meeting of Comic Book Club. Once school started, the club would try to recruit more members and would hold meetings in the school die-brary. But for now, they would meet at the Looking Glass in the comfortable sitting nook next to the comic stands.

Draconia prepared her stack of comics for the meeting to discuss...Madmanster, Manbat '66, the newest imported Doctor Boo comics and a vintage copy of Boois Bane from the 50's to look at. She dragged the (very flammable) comics away from the asbestos-coated chair that Heath had to sit in when he attended meetings. And of course, she put on a pot of tea.

"There! Perfect." Draconia smiled and waited for the rest of the club to arrive. Heath Burns and Jackson Jekyll were the first to arrive, of course. Jackson drove the two of them everywhere and he was dreadfully punctual. They entered having one of their typical "discussions" which were actually just the most ridiculous comic-fueled arguments ever.

"And I'm tellin' you, bro, Gorelacktus. End. Of. Argument. Scarvel wins!" Heath waved at Draconia and held up his iCoffin. Heath got all of his comics in digital form...they were less flammable that way.

"You're wrong, wrong, wrong. The DsCreech Universe has a billion ways to combat Gorelacktus, not the least of which is the fact that Supermanster can sneeze out planets...." Jackson rolled his eyes and pointed at one of his stack of comics as the argument increased. Draconia just shook her head. Why did boos argue about such silly things as 'who would win in a fight, the Scarvel universe or the DsCreech universe?' They were all comics! It didn't matter!

"Hello boys!" Draconia greeted them with a cup of hot tea, which Heath gulped down. "Ghoulia and Hellene should be along shortly. Have a seat!"

But she might as well have been talking to air, because the guys were so entrenched in their argument they barely even heard her.  

[Hellene Harpie]

Hellene rushed in, a flurry of feathers and excitement, knocking past Heath and Jackson without a thought.

"DRACONIA! Oh my goth, goul, you will not believe it. My sister Ocypete went on a weekend howliday in Hiroscreama to so research for her latest paper because you can't do interviews in a lonely cave in the Grimalayas when there's no internet connection and she found me a full set of Sailor Mooooon, magical transforming rarebit!"

She paused a breath to see who had already arrived. Heath lay in a heap of Scarvel comics, slightly dazed.

"Heath whatever are you doing on the ground like that you know that there's plenty of seating and everyone is just going to end up stopping all over your comics."  

[Draconia St George]

"Oh, that's fangTAStic news, Hellene! Oh, you must swap me when you're done reading them. Or, looking at them, I suppose. Do you know how to read Japain-ese?"

The chatter was interrupted, though, as a slightly dizzy Heath got to his feet and the door opened again to admit the Comic Book Club's president, the esteemed Ghoulia Yelps. The pretty zombie nodded at everyone as they took their seats (Heath nearly sitting on Hellene before getting a sharp reminder that he was to sit in the asbestos chair), and then the meeting began.

"Uuuuuuuuggghhhhrrrrggghhhhhhhh." Ghoulia began.
(Thanks to everyone for coming to our last meeting of the Summer. Starting next week, we'll be back at school, and I hope I can count on all of you to try to recruit more members for the club.)

"UurrghgggUuuuuuuuuuuuugh uuughhh." She added on.
(I'd also like to inform you that our newest member, Wydowna Spider, sends her regrets that she cannot make this week's meeting. She wound up spinning her web too thin and has to take care of other priorities first.)

"Uuuuggghs." Ghoulia finished up her address to the club.
(Nonetheless, she e-mauled me the pages for our Power Ghouls comic she's finished drawing, so everyone can see the incredible work she's done. I also promised her I'd take pictures of all of your projects and e-maul them to her so she can see.)

With the opening lecture out of the way, the real fun of Comic Book Club began - discussing comics! Each of them talked about their favourite issue of that week.

Ghoulia talked about how this week's issue of Dead Fast, while wasn't her absolute favourite ever, was still a great entry in the current storyline. Heath pulled up the newest issue of Superior Man-Spider on his iCoffin and went into a ten minute rant about how it was the most horrible thing he'd ever read, how he wanted to bleach his eyeballs and burn down the printing press that made that comic.

"So, are you going to stop reading it, then?" Draconia asked in earnest.

"Are you kidding?!" Heath replied. "Of course not!"

"Oh, of course not..." Draconia gave Hellene a perturbed look.  

[Hellene Harpie]

Hellene rolled her eyes behind her bangs, but it was unnecessary. Heath was already scrolling through his iCoffin to find the perfect picture to encapsulate his hatred: an image of Scary Jane unwittingly trying to kiss the secretly sort-of-evil Man-Spider.

"Scary Jane would NEVER do that because their love..." Heath began, and Hellene immediately interrupted, knowing if she didn't take her chance now it would be another twenty minutes of why Dan Rott was the worst writer to happen since J M Stormzynski.

"Speaking of love!" Hellene began, "The Stalker Art Center is having a special show next month of Japain-ese romance comics and I was thinking we could all go together as sort of a trip. The grand opening is going to have some famous artists there like Amy Bleeder and Rachel Deadson and there's going to be a talk about what it's like to write convincing love stories."  

[Draconia St George]

Heath gagged and muttered something about 'why the heck are there so many ghouls in Comic Book Club in the first place,' but several well-placed glares kept him otherwise quiet. Ghoulia stood up.

"Uuugggrrrrrrggghhh?" She asked.
(All in favour of going to the show?)

Four hands raised. Jackson muttered to Heath something about agreeing if he wanted to continue his 'get a car ride at any time' privileges. Heath raised his hand too.

"Uugghh." Ghoulia gave everyone her widest rictus grin.
(Motion passed! Next month, we'll go to the Stalker Art Center!)

FangTAStic! Draconia couldn't wait. Writing was her true passion, and she wanted to soak up any advice professional writers would have like a dead sea sponge.

"UUurrg Hmmmhrrrrggggghhhh." Ghoulia prodded Draconia.

"Oh! Right! Sorry, I'm next. Well, I'd like to talk this week about the newest issue of Doctor Boo..." Draconia began her little speech about her favourite comic of the week, talking about how pleased she was to still read about the Eleventh Doctor Boo, even though the actor Matt Scythe was retiring from the television role and passing it on to Peter Corpsealdi.  

[Hellene Harpie]

While Draconia described the latest Doctor Boo where Van Groan had to team up with the witch artist Johan Vermirror to save the Doctor, Hellene busied herself making a fresh pot of tea. If she didn't do it Heath would offer and if he had a third strike involving the kettle and the incredibly flammable book store, the comic book club would be forever banned from holding meetings there.

When her friend finished, Hellene stood up to describe the latest adventures of her new favorite mon-ga, Lupain the IV, a dashing art lady thief whose run in with the handsome, bear-chested Mr. Boojiko left a delicious cliff-hanger.

"You really should all be reading this comic, there's something for everyone! You'll notice on these pages that the sword fight is particularly well drawn, right down to the flowing rosepetals and blood spatters."  

[Draconia St George]

The Comic Book Club meeting went on for nearly two and a half hours, the friends talking comics, ranting, laughing and sharing their comics with each other. Ghoulia wound up lending Hellene some classic Dead Fast stories to show off the zombie fashions of the 1970's, and Draconia lent Heath some Doctor Boo comics under the solemnest of oaths that they would be returned un-crispy.

Jackson gave Ghoulia some tips on normie behavior for her "Power Ghouls" comic she was co-creating with Wydowna Spider, and everyone helped Draconia with some rather difficult lyrics for the supermonster musical she was writing, "Turn On the Dark."

As the club was wrapping up business, Wyvernia stepped back inside.

"Aw, look at you all! Aren't you adorkable?" She pulled out her iCoffin and snapped a picture of the club. "Anything newsworthy happen while I was away?"

"Well, we-"

"GUESS WHAT?!" Wyvernia cut Draconia off. "I have the scoop of the CENTURY about why Catty Noir canceled her interview with me. Oh, it's a BIG story!" Wyvernia kept rattling on as she picked up the teapot, frowned at its emptiness, and proceeded to refill it. "I mean, I'm afraid I can't leak it to you because I had to sign a non-disclosure to even get a HINT of the scoop, but rest assured it. IS. BIG."

Wyvernia put the kettle on and shook each of the Comic Book Club kids' hands. "Hi, Wyvernia St. George, Monster News Network. Wyvernia St. George, Monster News Network. Nice to meet you. Wyvernia St. George, MNN."

"Er. Wyvernia, they know who you are." Draconia's phone buzzed. It was a message from Dashner Hawke. "Blimey, even my friends who AREN'T here are asking about you!"

"Oh, of course you do! I'm sure you all get your news from the Monster News Network, don't you?"

"News?" Heath was roundly ignored. "What kind of lame monsters watch the news?!"

"Well, anyways, my interview with Catty Noir is canceled, but the scoop makes up for it. And instead, on the inaugural episode of my new talk show, Draconia, oh, it's so exciting! You'll never guess who I'm interviewing!"

"Who?" Draconia asked, never being one for guessing games.

"Headmistress Bloodgood?" Jackson guessed.

"Me?" Heath offered. Still ignored.

"Uuuugggghhhh?" Ghoulia posited.

"You're all wrong! I'm interviewing....get this....GILLARY CLINTON!"

Everyone's jaws dropped...Ghoulia's last.

"Gillary Clinton? THE Gillary Clinton?" Draconia was astounded.

"Uh....who is Gillary Clinton?" Heath asked. This time, Jackson whapped him upside the head.

"She's the head of the Monster States of Uhh-merica, Heath! She's the boss of all the monsters in the country, that's all."

"Oh. I still think you should interview me instead. I'm clawesome!" And Heath was back to being ignored. Draconia gave her sister a congratulatory hug.

"Wyvvie, that's fangTAStic! What a coup for you!"

"Isn't it?" Wyvernia asked as she poured herself a cup of tea from the now-whistling kettle. "This will be my first time interviewing a statesmonster live! I could just undie. The interview is going to be the first day you go back to school."

Draconia touched a claw to her chin, thinking.

"About that....Wyvernia, I was thinking, maybe we need to hire somemonster to work the shoppe during the day. At least until Uncle Wocky comes back. I mean, you're going to be so busy with your programme, and I'll be at school-"

"Say no more, little sister. You're completely right. We'll have to hire. You! How about you?"

Heath pointed at himself. "Me?"

"No, the competant-looking one."

Jackson turned his head. "Uh. I go to Monster High too, you know..."

Wyvernia raised a scaled eyebrow. "Really? They're letting normies in now?"

Clearly, this was going to take more planning than Draconia had originally thought. Ah, well..there was still a little time to get things taken care of before school began...  

[Hellene Harpie]

Hellene straightened her skirts as she stood to leave, making mental note that fall was fast approaching and she would need to buy a new pair of boots or three. Draconia would of course go with her because she also needed new boots, or old boots that were looking pretty new because of that whole retro thing and Hellene knew there was always somewhere in lower little Zombie Town that would have something in dragon sizes. She watched Wyvernia preen about her upcoming interview and sighed wistfully.

Wyvernia did real journalism and was taken very seriously, and she still managed to be very well put together and sparkle on camera. She took what Walter Cryptkite and Tom Boocrow did and made it glamorous.

Hellene's photo deadatorials were starting to get noticed by magazines like Cosmoan, Deadbook and Morgue, but she wanted to try for real print like Grime Magazine, The Boo Yorker and Unlife.

She wanted to be like Philip Bones Griffin and Gravid Burnett, doing serious and fashion photography, which was still serious even if no one admitted that. But in order to do that, she'd need a scoop of her own, and there was nothing in Salem exciting enough to qualify. The best she'd gotten were photos of Uncle Wocky and Glen's mom meeting to discuss something about portals, and no one seemed particularly interested in everyday witchwear.

Hellene made a second mental note to ask Wyvernia about investigative journalism and then spend some time creeping about looking for Things That Were Important to take pictures of, which definitely did not include Heath.  

[Shadeaux D Gloom]

A strange sound was coming from the downstairs closet toward the front desk of the Looking Glass. Soft breathing, just a shy hint away from snoring, and something being knocked over as if something rolled over.  

[Draconia St George]

Draconia came down from her room that evening, looking for a hot cup of tea to read a book with before going to sleep, and heard a bumping sound from the closet. She groaned.

"Not again..." Sure enough, when she cracked open the door, there was Shadeaux D Gloom, clearly having taken a wrong turn at some closet in Scalebuquerque and winding up once again in the Looking Glass's janitorial closet. They were going to have to have a stern talk about this at some point...

Draconia spied something underneath Shadeaux's prone, snoozing body...did he bring his own blanket with him, even?! Sighing a sigh that transformed into a yawn, Draconia slipped Shadeaux's blanket over him, moved a precariously-placed mop bucket away from his head and slid the door back closed before grabbing the teakettle and heading back upstairs to sleep.  

[Draconia St George]

The next morning, Draconia was awoken by Wyvernia yakking on her iCoffin to her producer again. She yawned, stretched, knocked over her bone-sigh plant with her wings, groaned, rolled out of bed, cleaned up spilled bone-sigh dirt, and finally headed downstairs for a morning cup of tea.

"Good morning, starshine!" Wyvernia cheerfully handed her a cup of tea. "What? No, not you, Diemon! I'm talking to my sister!" She winked at Draconia as she pressed a claw over her phone.

"Good morning, Wyvernia." Draconia took the cuppa gratefully. "Have a mo to discuss the shoppe?"

"Of course. Hang on a tick." Wyvernia turned back to her iCoffin. "Yes, Diemon, yes, whatever. I don't care if I have to interview Gillary Clinton upside down in outer space, I'll do ANYTHING to interview her.

What's that?

Well then figure OUT how to get a 300 gallon tank of water onto my interview set! And do it TODAY!" Wyvernia clicked the iCoffin off and turned back around to her sister. "Producers these days, always moaning and crying about the simplest demands. She IS a water monster, after all."

Draconia smiled. Wyvernia had always been a determined monstress. If she didn't get her way, she'd carve a path through solid rock to get what she wanted.

"Well, you know I mentioned finding a clerk to watch the shoppe during the school day."

"Yes, I think it's bloody brilliant, Drake. In fact, I know just the monster for the job, too."

"You...you do?"

Wyvernia smiled. "Sure! She's an old college friend of mine who lives in town. Since she just got in town, she's looking for a part-time job, and she loves books as much as you do. It's a perfect match!"

"It sounds like it," Draconia replied, still a bit hesitant. "But what about the Forbidden Tome section? I just don't know if Uncle Wocky would want us entrusting it to someone outside of the family."

"Oh, that." Wyvernia waved off Draconia's worries. "We'll just get it magically sealed off. Probably should have done that when Uncle Wocky left in the first place."

"You...you can do that?"

"Suuure." Wyvernia replied. "All we need to do is call one of Unc's wizard pals...Probably Merlin or Morgaine, and they'll come by and put the sealing spell on it. Wocky used to have it sealed off when he traveled for the howlidays."

"Oh! I didn't know that!" Draconia reflected. Even after living with her uncle for so many months, there were still surprises to be had!

"Well, obviously he hasn't felt the need to seal it off with you here. That says a lot about how much he trusts you, Drake." Wyvernia hugged her sister around the shoulders as she sat. "I'll hext my friend, Luna, and she can stop by later today. If she passes your inspection, we'll give her the job and I'll get ahold of Merlin. Does that work?"

"I think it does!" Draconia beamed. This was great news! Everything was going to be all right.