|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 2:07 pm
Ailsa, Thank you for YOUR comforting words, as well. heh, this was suppose to be a thread where I would run it and comfort others, but it seems day in and day out, someone is always comforting me. Odd, don't you agree? The thing is, I am here for everyone else, but I must include MYSELF in this too. Because I don't think I've actually achieved all those steps listed on page 1. I thought I had, but, no......I really haven't. But I want everyone else to go through those steps and become one solid human being-independent of this irritating chronic pain. But I don't think that's not going to happen, BUT, I think Angel is onto something...... Circle of Sisters. I like that. Thank you Angel for thinking of that. And as for you, Miss Ailsa, be strong. FIGHT this disease. Corral "it", and put it in it's own place. Not you, but the pain and the "words of that disease". I think my brain is starting to shut down now, but, let us gain strength from EVERYONE, because I don't think just one person can fight this. It takes a team of players to corral it, and I for one, am very thankful for that team of players. Thank you guys !
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 10:49 pm
A team of players, you say? I like that idea. A lot. Thank you for that!! You mention that it's odd that you're the one being comforted, but I think that that's just perfect. You took the time and effort to create this thread, so isn't it good that you are getting something out of it too?
I'll reply in more detail later - I have to give Dad his computer back, before we go off to choir!! I hope you're feeling better and I'm sending you lots of hugs.
xox Ailsa xox
|
|
|
|
|
|
bittersweet and evocative
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 3:38 pm
I still have so much to do and I have to sign off but I had to come check in first. I love each of you so much for the honesty, openness, and non-judgmental support we provide one another. I had to say that, I must go now....Aisla if you sign in I hope you are doing well I know this week is going to be tough, we're right here with you, holding you and allowing you to get the negative out so you don't have to punish yourself...Boldie, it's good to hear you talking and sharing. I'm glad you see how you can be supported and loved as well in this thread. Protector of Dragons, AuntieSocial 8b, and Inuyasha Guardian - your support is like steel, thank you.
I must go, the alarm has rung. HUGS to each and every one of you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 4:29 pm
Hey Madralyn, (and everyone else, for that matter heart )
Thank you for your post! I'm sitting her, panicking that in 3 hours I will have no movement from the waist down. And they have no idea how long it will last. *sighs* But I have the day off school so I can relax as much as possible before hand, and try and not stress. I got my friend's bunny last night, so I have her to keep me company, as well as my two cats. They're quite weary of bunny currently, as we have never had a bunny live at our place, only visit and set up shop in our garden! We have rabbity for two and a bit weeks so I'm sure they'll be friends by the end of her stay! Haha I'm feeling incredibly nervous about this afternoon, so I'm keeping busy. I've prepared OODLES of vegetables for the rabbit, have dried my hair till there is no water left anywhere within a 10m radius xp and am now hanging online. If there was ever a day I needed to feel supported and not alone, today is it.
My Grandma paid for me to get my hair dyed yesterday, as a treat and a pre-reward for my treatment. It's dark dark brown with purple highlights!!! Haha I've typed this comment in the closest brown I could find to what my hair is, but it's in fact about 3 shades darker than this!!
This is approx the purple colour >< Haha
I hope you guys have a great day, and I'll talk to you when I return from hospital. Hopefully I'll just be there until tonight. Love to you all and thank you for looking after me <3 You have made me believe I'm strong enough to go through this.
|
|
|
|
|
|
bittersweet and evocative
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 1:16 pm
Ailsa, You can be anything you want, but for now, I need you to be strong. I am here, but I had a really bad night. Bad flare up and I nearly cussed Madralyn's head off! OOPS! Wow, talk about bad BAD (BAD) flare up. Every muscle in my body was tight, and just wouldn't allow me to sleep. I finally fell asleep at 5 am, but then my husband woke me up at 8 am. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr ( blaugh ) Anyways..... my thoughts and PRAYERS are with you Ailsa. I'm so sorry I wasn't here yesterday to comfort you. But hopefully, you'll be reading this, and it'll make you feel better again. Mother Nature stopped in this morning - oh, around 8:30 a.m., so guess where the pain is? Yup, lower lumbar where my other pain is. This morning, I was doubled up and couldn't WAIT to get those meds inside me. Anyways.... I am here thinking of you, Ailsa, and promise to be more on top of things. Things here at the house just got alittle carried away last week, and I couldn't devote my time that I wanted to spend here, but now I am back and as you can see, fingers feel good, typing is good. LOL LOL LOL LOL (In October 2008, I had carpal tunnel surgery, in November, I had the other hand done, and in January, I had the FAILED back surgery) So, I have had 3 surgeries in 4 months. I would not recommend this for ANYONE.
I hope you're doing great--I would like to know what and how the procedure is done on you... Like... what do they do to you in the hospital. AND Only Answer That, If You Feel Comfortable Saying So, Ok? okay. gtg
Hugglez to everyone!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 6:54 pm
Hey, if I didn't feel comfortable talking about it here, where would I go?! I'm feeling ok, quite sore and still unable to move unaided, but better than I expected. I was only at the hospital for a couple of hours, and was then thankfully allowed to come home <3 So the basics of the procedure are thus:
1) they did a LOT of drawing on the back of my knee and leg, to pin point where they may find the nerves, and to determine where they'll put the basic anesthetic.
2) They gave me a pretty pathetic local to numb the area.
3) They then placed a metal probe under the skin and pulsed electicity through it, to find the nerve. Once they were in the right place, my leg spasmed out, so they knew where to put the most of the anesthetic etc. That part was really painful because my leg is really hyper sensitive and hasn't moved in so long that that kicking movement was really sore ><
4) Once they put in the bulk anesthetic, my physio stepped in and gently massaged my ankle first, to check that I couldn't feel anything, and also in hopes that she might salvage some of the skin as it's beginning to screw up from lack of use and care
5) After that, Rach (my physio) played around with my ankle, foot, and calf to try and regain some movement and loosen it up. Normally I don't have ANY movement in it at all, because my brain and body has forgotten how to use it after such a long recess period. It seems that unless I have it manipulated, and I'm numb so as not to increase my pain, there isn't going to be any movement for a long, long time.
So far, it's been quite good. For the whole of yesterday and last night I couldn't feel a darn thing, and it was just like dead weight. I'm on crutches for the next couple of days, as if I weight bear I'll end up going over my ankle and injuring it more. I already managed to break my toe yesterday >< I'm having to be really careful with my knee, also, as if I don't keep my leg elevated and just let it dangle, the weight could cause my knee to dislocate. I really can't cope with anything like that, so I'm following my doctor's orders strictly!!! I'm starting to get a bit of feeling back now, and yep, there's definitely pain there. I've been given additional meds for the day, so that I can try and control the pain so it doesn't do what it does so well, which is flare up to the point I go backwards in my rehab. Boldie, I literally and metaphorically feel your pain at the moment. I really hope that your flare up sorts itself out over the next 24 hours. I hate when it lingers, as all it manages to do is destroy your mood, put tension into everyone's lives, and generally makes everything miserable. You, too, are in my prayers, and your family <3
Lol I hope I didn't bore you with all the details!!! How are you feeling today? I hope things are looking up and getting a bit better. And Boldie, I'm not sure how I would have gotten through yesterday's procedure, without having this thread to talk in, and knowing that while I was at hospital, there were people out there thinking of me. Thank you so so much. xx
|
|
|
|
|
|
bittersweet and evocative
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2009 8:00 pm
Oh Ailsa, I'm so happy you DID tell me what the procedures they do on you! I'm interested in that. And I'm SOOO glad you understand my flare ups. Nearly bit Madralyn's head off, until she realized I was super hurting. She's an angel for forgiving me.  Quote: I'm having to be really careful with my knee, also, as if I don't keep my leg elevated and just let it dangle, the weight could cause my knee to dislocate. Geez, so, what can you do with your leg---just keep it elevated---for how long? Do they insist you walk? Or do they want you to just keep it elevated for a few days and THEN walk on it? What do they expect you to do? Jeepers! Quote: And Boldie, I'm not sure how I would have gotten through yesterday's procedure, without having this thread to talk in, and knowing that while I was at hospital, there were people out there thinking of me. Thank you so so much. xx Ailsa, I am so happy I have helped you. Lord knows how many people have helped me. I believe that this was an excellent idea to have this thread. I know we can't be the only ones out there who have chronic pain. Maybe someone else will come forward, and it'll help them, too! That would only be too cool. lol  At least you didn't "ralph" on anyone, did you? ROFL  Aren't these just the cutest little guys? hehe I think I'm gonna have to moon ya, too, if you're not too careful! lol  Well,.... I hope I've brightened your day just a titch. I'll talk to you later and hopefully, you will be feeling up to speed again, even for just a short while....  .... All my best..... ~boldie
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2009 10:09 pm
Haha as weird as all those little animations are, they were pretty cute!!!! Lol I didn't 'ralph' as you said lol I just felt really out of it, and disatached to my body. My doctor told me I was the best patient he'd worked with, because I didn't even flinch when I was giving me lots of injections etc. I'm so used to being treated like a pin cushion xp
I'm allowed to walk on it now, as long as I don't do too much weight bearing. Considering I can't weight bear much anyway, there's not too much difference now. I'm only on one crutch, after a day in a wheelchair/two crutches. I am expected just to hunker down home and do NOTHING. Pretty exciting stuff. I've just been reading and loitering round here. i got so close to 167 in the roll the dice game - only 3 off!!! It is an impossible number to get emo lol I will keep on trying though!!
I'm doing ok, but I certainly have a large increase of pain now. It sucks. i was just getting used to the whole pain free thing when it all came back cry I'm planning on taking some extra meds tonight to try and combat the flare up. *sighs* If only life were easier, and this sort of pain didn't exist. And I'm sure you're right - there has not be SOMEone out there with chronic pain. The world's not that small that there's only 3 of us. Hopefully if we keep on writing and sharing our stories, we'll inspire someone else to speak up, like you did for me.
Anyway, I best let you go, but I hope you're feeling so much better. Thinking of you LOTS and sending you OODLES of hugs xox  Thought that might cheer you up <3 And help you remember that I'm always here for a hug, or for a chat xox
|
|
|
|
|
|
bittersweet and evocative
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Kira-fightingdreamer Crew
|
Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 10:37 am
It's amazing, coming onto this guild and reading all these posts and seeing that the world really does have people in it who are so strong. Each and everyone one of you radiate strength and hope and that is such a wonderful thing to see..
I do hope today is a good day for everyone, and my hopes go out to you all.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 9:19 pm
Kira-fightingdreamer It's amazing, coming onto this guild and reading all these posts and seeing that the world really does have people in it who are so strong. Each and everyone one of you radiate strength and hope and that is such a wonderful thing to see.. I do hope today is a good day for everyone, and my hopes go out to you all.
|
|
|
|
|
|
bittersweet and evocative
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 1:49 pm
I hope every one is doing ohkay! =)
Sorry i haven't posted in a while.
I'm getting ready to leave the country so it's really heck-tick over here.
=)
I hope every one is well.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 5:28 pm
Hey Hey !!!! Thanks so much for posting in Hug Soft, Love Strong. Don't you think that title is so perfect for this thread? It just came to me one day. It's amazing when you have nothing on the brain, and then suddenly something comes to you and it's like WOW!, yeah..... that's perfect! Anyways, that's how it came to be with the title. But Kira and AuntieSocial 8B, thanks so much for your support. It's been tough. I know when I talk to Madralyn on the phone and she's not feeling good and I'M not feeling good, yet somehow we manage to get things done. It's a wonderful feeling. And Ailsa, I'm so happy that you have somewhere to unload your burdens when you're not feeling well. Thank you for trusting in Madralyn and me with your feelings and thoughts. It only makes us closer, eh? lol Well, I'm off to do more DI stuff...... Thanks again you two!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
bittersweet and evocative
|
Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 11:16 pm
Hey again!! I'm sorry to hear that you're not feeling too great. I'm sending you lots of hugs!!! LOOOOOOOOOOOTS of them. I hope you can feel them ><
I agree, I think the name of this thread is just right. It matches what we're trying to convey - we need softness to deal with pain, but love needs to strong for us to cope and keep on living.
Anyway, have you been having a better day today? Thinking of you lots and my prayers, also. xox in love, as always, Ailsa xox
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 9:35 am
Ailsa, yesterday wasn't too bad of a day, but I was just so exhausted.... Now today, I feel really bad. I've got the pain running down my legs, underneath them, in my hips, lower lumbar, and in my right knee. And actually the knee is swollen. I'm sure everything right now, has raised itself in swelling. Also, today, it's the changing of the patch, so the original one from 2 days ago is losing its power, and the new one, hasn't kicked in yet, so I'm in a between stage. I'm at the bottom. and really, it's not fun at the bottom, because it drains me so much. Yesterday, I just plum fell asleep on the couch, and we had the neighbors over! Talk about being rude. lol--Well, I'm sure they understand. But that's my report for the day. Hopefully, it'll change once the medicine starts getting into my bloodstream. Let's pray it's in 3rd or 4th gear by now and not sitting into first gear. lol. Anyway, Ailsa, it''s been great talking with you. I'll talk to you later.
I DO hope you're feeling alittle better than me. And I hope Protector of Dragons (Angel) and Madralyn are feeling better. Went to doctor yesterday, and it was the same ole same ole. They can't do anything more for me, so I need to adjust and learn to deal with this unbearable pain. Honestly, if it wasn't for DI, I wouldn't be online as long as I am. Anyways.... I'll talk to you later, Ailsa. God bless........
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
bittersweet and evocative
|
Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 5:21 pm
Hey Boldie, I hope that by the time I'm writing this, your new patch has kicked in, and giving you some more relief that it was. I went through a phase of being on patches, but the cross-over period was too much for me to deal with, so they switched me. lol one of many switches! And don't worry, I'm sure your neighbours understood when you fell asleep. I do that when I'm visiting other people's houses!
My pain in the last couple of days has migrated into my leg, from being only in the foot and ankle. I was warned that after awhile this tends to happen, but I have been praying that it wouldn't. That for once, something would go my way, and it would remained contained in one area. But alas, this does not seem to be the case. So now I'm trying to find a way to walk around, that causes as little pain as possible, and find ways to sit without putting any pressure through the calf or ankle. I guess I'll adjust after time, as we all have.
Before I got sick, I never thought a doctor would tell a patient to 'deal' when it comes to unbelievable amounts of pain, but I've learnt since then. There comes a time when you stump the doctors, you stump the specialists, and the only thing left is to 'make do'. It annoys me every time a doctor tells me that I should learn to live with the pain, or that I'll get used to it. We shouldn't have to just accept it. So I'm really sorry that that's what your doctor told you heart I'm praying that God will give them wisdom in finding something else to do for you, and that God will give you strength to keep going in the meantime. Your courage amazes me, Boldie, and even on days when you're not feeling so great yourself, remember that over here in NZ, you are inspiring me to keep going, and to make an effort to keep living as best as I can.
Hopefully we'll talk soon! And thank you for you PM, also. The games have been a great way for me to distract myself! xox sending you LOVE and HUGS and PRAYERS and some more love. xox
God Bless, Ailsa xox
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
