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 Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 9:25 pm
Nudge one hundred and twenty-four
124. Prior to kidnapping an older male scientist and forcing him to work for me, I will investigate his offspring and make sure that he has neither a beautiful but naive daughter who is willing to risk anything to get him back, nor an estranged son who works in the same field but had a falling-out with his father many years ago.
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 9:26 pm
Nudge one hundred and twenty-five
125. Should I actually decide to kill the hero in an elaborate escape-proof deathtrap room (water filling up, sand pouring down, walls converging, etc.) I will not leave him alone five-to-ten minutes prior to "imminent" death, but will instead (finding a vantage point or monitoring camera) stick around and enjoy watching my adversary's demise. heart
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 9:28 pm
Nudge one hundred and twenty-six
126. Rather than having only one secret escape pod, which the hero can easily spot and follow, I'll simultaneously launch a few dozen decoys to throw him off track. heart
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 9:30 pm
Nudge one hundred and twenty-seven
127. Prison guards will have their own cantina featuring a wide variety of tasty treats that will deliver snacks to the guards while on duty. The guards will also be informed that accepting food or drink from any other source will result in execution. heart
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 9:32 pm
Nudge one hundred and twenty-eight
128. I will not employ robots as agents of destruction if there is any possible way that they can be re-programmed or if their battery packs are externally mounted and easily removable.
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 9:33 pm
Nudge one hundred and twenty-nine
129. Despite the delicious irony, I will not force two heroes to fight each other in the arena.
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 9:34 pm
Nudge one hundred and thirty
130. All members of my Legions of Terror will have professionally tailored uniforms. If the hero knocks a soldier unconscious and steals the uniform, the poor fit will give him away. heart
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 9:36 pm
Nudge one hundred and thirty-one
131. I will never place the key to a cell just out of a prisoner's reach.
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 9:37 pm
Nudge one hundred and thirty-two
132. Before appointing someone as my trusted lieutenant, I will conduct a thorough background investigation and security clearance. heart
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 9:37 pm
Nudge one hundred and thirty-three
133. If I find my beautiful consort with access to my fortress has been associating with the hero, I'll have her executed. It's regrettable, but new consorts are easier to get than new fortresses, and maybe the next one will pay attention at the orientation meeting. heart
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 9:39 pm
Nudge one hundred and thirty-four
134. If I am escaping in a large truck and the hero is pursuing me in a small Italian sports car, I will not wait for him to pull up alongside me, then try to force him off the road while he tries to climb aboard. Instead I will slam on the brakes when he's directly behind me. (A rudimentary knowledge of physics is useful.)
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 9:40 pm
Nudge one hundred and thirty-five
135. My doomsday machine will have a highly-advanced technological device called a capacitor in case someone inconveniently pulls the plug at the last second. (If I have access to REALLY advanced technology, I will include a back-up device known as a battery.)
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 9:42 pm
Nudge one hundred and thirty-six
136. If I build a bomb, I will simply remember which wire to cut if it has to be deactivated and make every wire red.
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 9:43 pm
Nudge one hundred and thirty-seven
137. Before spending available funds on giant gargoyles, gothic arches, or other cosmetically intimidating pieces of architecture, I will see if there are any valid military expenditures that could use the extra budget. heart
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 9:44 pm
Nudge one hundred and thirty-eight
138. The passageways of my domain will be well-lit with fluorescent lighting. Regrettably, the spooky atmosphere will be lost, but my security patrols will be more effective. heart
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