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 Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 7:40 pm
CleoSombra Kestin Sha Also, question: if someone is doing one of those thingies where you comment and they have to answer preset questions about you (you know the type), and one of the questions is "What do I like about you?", and the person says "your sincerity", is that one of those compliments you give people when you don't really have anything to say, or is it more likely to be, well, sincere? (I'm paranoid, okay?!)
If it means anything, I find you to be sincere, so I could see why someone would say it about you. :3...You do have a point there. I guess it doesn't really fit into the realm of "I don't really like/know you, so I'll just say something generic" responses. (And I would know; I give out plenty of those...not because I don't usually like/know the people I'm trying to compliment, but because I'm really, really bad with specifics of any kind. sweatdrop ) Thanks. whee
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Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 7:42 pm
keito melfina Debating with you is as pointless as a 1 on 1 magikarp fight. I don't know why I'm doing this to myself crying I actually did that once, and totally kicked the other karps a**. It was sorta fun.
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Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 7:45 pm
epic-writer42 keito melfina Debating with you is as pointless as a 1 on 1 magikarp fight. I don't know why I'm doing this to myself crying I actually did that once, and totally kicked the other karps a**. It was sorta fun. lol, forgot Struggle was a move xD
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Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 8:15 pm
keito melfina epic-writer42 keito melfina Debating with you is as pointless as a 1 on 1 magikarp fight. I don't know why I'm doing this to myself crying I actually did that once, and totally kicked the other karps a**. It was sorta fun. lol, forgot Struggle was a move xD Whoever Struggles first loses. :3 The recoil does more damage than the actual attack.
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Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 8:30 pm
Foam-Dome keito melfina epic-writer42 keito melfina Debating with you is as pointless as a 1 on 1 magikarp fight. I don't know why I'm doing this to myself crying I actually did that once, and totally kicked the other karps a**. It was sorta fun. lol, forgot Struggle was a move xD Whoever Struggles first loses. :3 The recoil does more damage than the actual attack. Well you're right about that. Maybe I should stop posting here, being told it is selfish and wrong to let others hear in on one's suffering is... just wrong crying
Life Lesson: never converse with a Baptist whose intent is to lead you to salvation by revoking what they believe is abomination and all who say otherwise are wrong.
I just took a few steps backwards Dx I'm sorry everyone for reading my posts.
Screw it this humidity and my emotional state are just out of control right now urgh. A side I really want to hide from everyone IRL.
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Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 8:45 pm
keito melfina Foam-Dome keito melfina epic-writer42 keito melfina Debating with you is as pointless as a 1 on 1 magikarp fight. I don't know why I'm doing this to myself crying I actually did that once, and totally kicked the other karps a**. It was sorta fun. lol, forgot Struggle was a move xD Whoever Struggles first loses. :3 The recoil does more damage than the actual attack. Well you're right about that. Maybe I should stop posting here, being told it is selfish and wrong to let others hear in on one's suffering is... just wrong crying
Life Lesson: never converse with a Baptist whose intent is to lead you to salvation by revoking what they believe is abomination and all who say otherwise are wrong.
I just took a few steps backwards Dx I'm sorry everyone for reading my posts.
Screw it this humidity and my emotional state are just out of control right now urgh. A side I really want to hide from everyone IRL.
Also you should take that life lesson to heart, but apply it to everyone ever, not just Baptists.
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Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 8:49 pm
Creas keito melfina Foam-Dome keito melfina epic-writer42 keito melfina Debating with you is as pointless as a 1 on 1 magikarp fight. I don't know why I'm doing this to myself crying I actually did that once, and totally kicked the other karps a**. It was sorta fun. lol, forgot Struggle was a move xD Whoever Struggles first loses. :3 The recoil does more damage than the actual attack. Well you're right about that. Maybe I should stop posting here, being told it is selfish and wrong to let others hear in on one's suffering is... just wrong crying
Life Lesson: never converse with a Baptist whose intent is to lead you to salvation by revoking what they believe is abomination and all who say otherwise are wrong.
I just took a few steps backwards Dx I'm sorry everyone for reading my posts.
Screw it this humidity and my emotional state are just out of control right now urgh. A side I really want to hide from everyone IRL.
Also you should take that life lesson to heart, but apply it to everyone ever, not just Baptists.Agreed sweatdrop Secret: to be honest I never knew how the GD sneak in porn... other than that idk how I'm supposed to believe my dad when he said the prn under his pillows were for his officemate. Where the **** did he legally get that!?!??!
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Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 8:50 pm
keito melfina Creas keito melfina Foam-Dome keito melfina lol, forgot Struggle was a move xD Whoever Struggles first loses. :3 The recoil does more damage than the actual attack. Well you're right about that. Maybe I should stop posting here, being told it is selfish and wrong to let others hear in on one's suffering is... just wrong crying
Life Lesson: never converse with a Baptist whose intent is to lead you to salvation by revoking what they believe is abomination and all who say otherwise are wrong.
I just took a few steps backwards Dx I'm sorry everyone for reading my posts.
Screw it this humidity and my emotional state are just out of control right now urgh. A side I really want to hide from everyone IRL.
Also you should take that life lesson to heart, but apply it to everyone ever, not just Baptists.Agreed sweatdrop Secret: to be honest I never knew how the GD sneak in porn... other than that idk how I'm supposed to believe my dad when he said the prn under his pillows were for his officemate. Where the **** did he legally get that!?!??! Porn is illegal where you live?
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Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 10:33 pm
I hate iTunes.
It just deleted all of my illegally gained songs from my ipod...
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Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 11:42 pm
My boyfriend broke up with me in a text message earlier and I don't know how I should feel. I mean seriously? A text message. How juvenile can you get? But I'm not even mad about it, not even upset or anything. I don't know how I feel about it, I'm kinda just like 'eh' about the whole thing.
It kinda just seems like I either didn't like him as much as I originally though, or that I really am as emotionally defunct as people tell me I am.
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Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 12:03 am
I slept for 12 hours today on accident.. x-x
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Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 2:06 am
I'm so ******** off at the moment I could almost kill some one. Namely the assholes that sold me my laptop and the warranty for it. I really want to torture them at the moment D<
EDIT: I need someone to talk to, I dun liek brooding, and Val is too busy playing Pokemon >_<
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Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 2:13 am
I think I'm about to get banned from my home guild. xd
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Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 2:38 am
Please don't quote this, I will probably delete it later, and I don't want to worry or upset anyone..
And any close friends of mine should probably not read it.
"It's like... laying down and dying would be easier than fighting."
Around 2:30 AM this morning, I was trying my hardest to fall back asleep. I felt so depressed and I couldn't figure out why.
So instead of vainly attempting to sleep, I let my mind wander. What is making me sad? What all has ever made me sad? When did I start feeling this way? When did my downhill spiral start?
And I realized... it was when I lost my godfather, at 13. I would put up with any amount of abuse from my godmother and godsister JUST so I could spend 15 minutes with him. He is the mold I hold every man by. He is what every man should strive for. He was my father, not in blood, but in spirit.
I still wish my mother had let them adopt me... Like everyone said at the time, she was too old to have a baby. To take care of one. Hell, if she'd even let my sister adopt me, things would be vastly different.
And then I started thinking, when did my mother go from being my best friend to.. to this horrific, cruel woman she is now? When we went to Iowa three years ago, of course - when we had to endure being locked up in a tiny, cramped house with her extremely violent mother. No, not my grandmother, my mother's mother - I refuse to have any connotation with that... thing. She was never a good mother, she's the reason MY mother is so ******** up.
But that doesn't excuse my mom from being an evil, cruel thing now. Has she really ruined my life, like she says she has? All the memories I've gathered, now that I can look at them with an adult's eye, make me sick. Why did she force me to endure that? What good would it have done? Why did she let me go through so much pain and suffering when I was only a child?!
And then, all I could do was lay in bed and try to stop crying. I felt- I feel so hopeless. There's nothing I can do to get myself out of this house. Away from her. There's financial problems, and housing problems, not to mention I still don't have a driver's license or any way to get one.
I am trapped here and there is nothing I can do about it.
And that feeling of being trapped is causing me more and more depression each passing day. I've become so suicidal that I have to fight to get out of bed in the morning. Because... laying down and dying would be so much easier than getting up and fighting to keep myself afloat.
It is so hard to find things that make me happy anymore, or things that temporarily take my mind off of just how ******** up my life really is. I can't do anything for my friends, because I simply don't have the willpower to try... The spirit is willing, but the body is spongy and weak.
I just don't know what to do... I have never felt this horrifically depressed before. I've never wanted to just die or find a way to die. I don't know what to do to help myself, when there IS no way to help myself. I'm losing the fight and I haven't even begun... I feel so hopeless and lost.
And above all... why me? What did I do to deserve this?
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Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 3:31 am
MARIS! my poor baby! I love you! *snuggle fest*
I'm sorry there isn't really anything more I can do to help your situation though crying I'm here and I'm your friend and I'm here for you any time. Day or night, ok I might not be awake! But I'll help you out as soon as I am. GAH! If only this damn ocean wasn't in the way I'd come get you myself ¬.¬
Also, I think I'm a close friend of yours, but I read it anyway because I love you and I'd be even more worried NOT knowing.
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