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 Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 11:16 pm
the rewrite is up to page 75 now. so proabably another 75 pages at least. hehe
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Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 11:27 pm
That just makes my eyes hurt having to suddenly adjust to the smaller size...it's slightly irritating. *shrugs*
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Fractured Moonlight Captain
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Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 11:30 pm
Yeah sorry on Word the large font is 14 while the rest is 12 so it's not that big sweatdrop
But what do you guys think of it though? does it need to be long or is it alright? whee
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Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 11:32 pm
I like it. might want to add a bit though about him coming to and hearing the sounds of medical equipment and such. though one thing kinda makes you raise a brow, is that he seems to wake up both in the hospital, and enroute to it in the ambulance. probably should be just in teh hospital.
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Picking Up Stars Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 11:33 pm
Well, it's only one paragraph so it's kind of hard to tell. the first sentence is a good hook but there's not a whole lot in there. I'd probably keep reading which is what you want. I don't like that first sentence so big and bolded though. I think tha'ts a petty technique for an author who can't think of a good first sentence.
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Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 11:36 pm
Adn that's it for me for tonight guys. Night.
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Picking Up Stars Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 11:40 pm
Ah well in the next few paragraphs he talks about how he was brought back to life (defibrillator whee then he went to sleep again) and even when he woke up in the hopsital itself before he dives into the story on how this all began.
Bascially he's just writing down what has happened up to the point of him picking up the pen and writing it out, but that kind of technique has been used, still it's nice to do first person 3nodding
But thanks for the advice guys I may extend it a little, but I rather write out the story first before I make any changes 3nodding
Good night starry I'm out as well whee
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Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 6:54 am
*Sticking her nose in*
I wrote book once...got the first draft done before I lost interest. 225 typed pages.....worked on it for over a year. Wow.
Of course, I hate the story now. ^^
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:21 pm
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:34 pm
My god you changed your look.
Aren't you all menacing in a slightly cute way looking.
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Fractured Moonlight Captain
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Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 10:59 am
lawl
The demonic halo makes it look like you've got boobs. Awe, form fitting that things is not. ^^
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Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 1:55 pm
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRAC!!!
Our beloved post goddess. We bow down to you everyday but today we bow twice.
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Picking Up Stars Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 2:13 pm
*has the three ton triple stilted layer oreo icecream cake trucked in*
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Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 5:52 pm
yes happy birthday Frac smile
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Fractured Moonlight Captain
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Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 5:59 pm
Yay I am loved! With worship and oreos!
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