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 Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 9:08 pm
"Nah. Just a random fact I'm interested in knowing," She chuckled. Luckily, the chuckle sounded real. Crap... She thought. "So, how're things with you and Ms. Maddy?" She asked, trying to start a conversation. She kept her face down at all times, though.
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Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 9:13 pm
Ginji sighed, "Fine, you don't want to talk about it. But if you ever do, I'm here." he said sweetly as they both landed at HQ. "Sleep in tomorrow, a good night's sleep is never a bad thing." he smiled as he entered the base, doing admin like things, and organizing the contents of the bags he brought to the forest.
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Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 9:17 pm
"Fine, but I expect an answer soon!" She called after him. She wanted to know everything happening in Aqua-- She would never let herself get attached again. She walked into her room, Squirt now on her shoulders, comforting her.
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Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 9:18 pm
Lord Snickers Christian was walking around HQ, after just getting back from his last mission, Mission Im-Fossil-able, when all of a sudden his TADS went off again. Christian then reached in his bag and took it out and opened it and it read: MISSION- Reverse Fossilization! You can only do this if you did "Mission Im-Fossil-able". There is rumor that a machine can turn fossils into pokemon, but a gang of thieves has kidnapped the scientists. Your mission is to rescue the scientists and de-fossilize your fossil. Pokemon: Your fossilized one but that is free Funds upon completion: 700 Claydol floated into the room, noticing that a mission had just been posted. He started enscribing words on the paper. Ok... Um... Bad. I'm sorry but for your rank, this mission needs STORY. STORY STORY STORY. It's a big part of RPing. It seems you didn't take the admin's advice when your last mission was graded. Your sentence structure didn't change at all. If you want a passing grade some things are going to have to change. 1. You have to add some length and quality. It can't be all battles. That's kinda rediculous. 2. Change the way you word your sentences. Alot of them are run-ons and can be fixed with a simple comma replacing the and. Also, use more pronouns, nouns, and discriptive words to show that you're the one doing the action. He, it, the trainer, the boy. Simple changes that can be made to improve your story quality. 3. Ginji had a battle with 9 Combee and 6 Vespiquen and it was longer than your mission. With this mission and your rank, I would expect at least 2-3 pages on a word processor, if not more. If you take those tips to heart, you will be more likely to pass next time. Claydol posted the grade and floated off.
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Conservative Exhibitionist
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Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 9:26 pm
"Fine Sammy." Ginji said as he smiled at the girl he had no attraction for. They were like family though. That was the whole purpose of family. To help each other out. And in a place like this, you needed a true family bond.
The boy yawned at he picked up his TADS Book, it still glowing red. "Oh, nice and toasty, I think I'll use you to warm my bed." he said as he trotted off to his room to take a nice long sleep.
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Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 12:53 pm
Sammy walked in, the hood of her jacket covering the upper half of her face. She didn't call out a greeting, but instead sat in one of the chairs, looking down at the ground.
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Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 2:13 pm
Kai strolled in, not saying a word. He sat down on the couch and sighed.
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Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 2:13 pm
Maddy flashed into HQ with a sigh, the bright purple light dissipating quickly. She groaned in pain and just curled up on the floor. "Did I miss anything yesterday?" She shifted position a bit and flinched horribly from the throbbing pain throughout her body. -.-"
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Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 2:18 pm
"Not sure, I was not there" Kai replied, taking out his bag of cheetos. He starting eating some.
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Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 6:54 pm
Sammy, realizing she had dozed off, came back to her sense and sat up in her seat. She sighed, a somber look on her face. Why couldn't she do anything right?
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Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 9:08 pm
Jack groaned. He rubbed his neck as he walked into the room. "Hi Sammy..." He fell down on the couch. He held a ice pack to his face. "Ow my lips..."
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Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 9:29 pm
Sammy looked up to see Jack, nodding as a greeting. She noticed his battered state, thinking over and over that she could have prevented that. "Sorry..." She muttered, pulling her hood farther over her head.
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Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 11:23 pm
Jack looked confused. "You...saved me and you're apolgzing?" He asked. He winced again and looked at his TADS. "WHAT?!" He shouted. "Ah man! I always ruin everything." He muttered, slamming his head onto a table. "Take me now! Kill me!"
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Posted: Sat Mar 07, 2009 10:38 am
Sammy couldn't help but grin at Jack's comment, although it was a belated grin. She had been wishing that for almost a year now. "What ever it is, I'm sure there's no use killing you over it," she assured, sighing.
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Posted: Sat Mar 07, 2009 10:40 am
c1lyfe Lord Snickers Christian was walking around HQ, after just getting back from his last mission, Mission Im-Fossil-able, when all of a sudden his TADS went off again. Christian then reached in his bag and took it out and opened it and it read: MISSION- Reverse Fossilization! You can only do this if you did "Mission Im-Fossil-able". There is rumor that a machine can turn fossils into pokemon, but a gang of thieves has kidnapped the scientists. Your mission is to rescue the scientists and de-fossilize your fossil. Pokemon: Your fossilized one but that is free Funds upon completion: 700 Claydol floated into the room, noticing that a mission had just been posted. He started enscribing words on the paper. Ok... Um... Bad. I'm sorry but for your rank, this mission needs STORY. STORY STORY STORY. It's a big part of RPing. It seems you didn't take the admin's advice when your last mission was graded. Your sentence structure didn't change at all. If you want a passing grade some things are going to have to change.
1. You have to add some length and quality. It can't be all battles. That's kinda rediculous.
2. Change the way you word your sentences. Alot of them are run-ons and can be fixed with a simple comma replacing the and. Also, use more pronouns, nouns, and discriptive words to show that you're the one doing the action. He, it, the trainer, the boy. Simple changes that can be made to improve your story quality.
3. Ginji had a battle with 9 Combee and 6 Vespiquen and it was longer than your mission. With this mission and your rank, I would expect at least 2-3 pages on a word processor, if not more.
If you take those tips to heart, you will be more likely to pass next time.Claydol posted the grade and floated off. Ike returned to the HQ after being unsuccessful in gathering much information on Cyrus. After walking by the mission board, he noticed a graded mission and proof-graded it. After much thought, Ike re-graded the mission. I will PASS this mission. You're battles were ok from a technical stand point. You followed the battle mechanics fairly well. Although there is room for improvement. Remember: +Trainers tell their pokemon what to do. Add some dialog in your battles! wink It adds to the action. +Pokemon should rarely succumb to 1HKOs. A rule of thumb is to hit your foe 2-3 times (in your case being a stage 1 vs. basic for the most part) then finish em off. Also, try using grammer and spell check with your word processor. It makes the read look more professional wink That's what gets you noticed for rank ups. I'll let you keep your new Anorith, but I'll only reward you with 300pd. As for you Cody, you grade missions to harshly. Remember: Quality over Quantity. YOUR ranks are expected to have missions with more story to them. For Christian's ranks, we look to helping them get down battle mechanics and style down. It is NEVER EVER about length. And unless it is garbled, unreadable english, grammer in lower-ranked member's missions shouldn't be much of an issue. (We don't expect you all to write like Henry David Thoreau, but we do expect you to want to improve your story-telling skills!) Also, manners go a long way. wink The "Ok...um...bad" line was a bit cold. You wanna be warm in giving advice. Don't be a negative nelly so much xP
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