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"Oh. Well, if Cybertron could be revived, if it isn't still standing, it could be rebuilt then... right?" Devision asked, hopeful. He moved to a kneeling position before his lord. "And, my secondary homeworld, that is, Ardria, well, is very much alive and well. They are the artistic and cultural hub of the universe... at least there are those who claim that... I cannot say for sure. I've been to many worlds, but I dare not make any such bold claims. Though the Ardrians might even have the technology to revive Cybertron, if no other means is available...

My friend Trekler was studying at the Ardrian Science Academy, in hopes of finding a means to save his world's dying star or to create an artificial one... in place of it... as his kind of mech is solar-powered. Their star is due to go Supernova in a few millenias... so if nothing else allows Cybertron's revival, maybe Ardria holds the key..."

Devision sighed, softly, he affectionately nudged his Lord's leg, resting his chin upon his Lord's thigh, like dogs do to their Masters. He whimpered softly. "May I inquire as to your thoughts, my Lord My... King?" Devision's lip curled into a half-smile, a bit... playfully mischievous? But of course, his tone was in all seriousness, and respectful.

"Oh. That. Hmm... how to... er... put it..." Dev thought a moment, silent, he sighed heavily, shifting to a sitting position.. "Well, I was stationed aboard the Predation... and... well... even before my brothers disappeared, I was not treated well... by the rest... I... er... never realized how much my brothers looked out for me or what they did behind-the-scenes to keep me safe. Or safer, rather. I never even had any kind of rank. I was only a part of things because my brothers were. And, I was n...never much use as such. I have often said that the Decepticon cause was better off without me than with me. That, well, I am more of a hindrance than a help." Sigh.

"I... well, after they disappeared... things got really bad. Before, my brothers always managed to intervene in situations... or made use of their rank to delve out any punishment decreed upon me, often for a lesser sentence... and... if others did anything to me... they would put an end to it... somehow... they always seemed to know... and to come and stop things before they got really bad. Though luck has always seemed to be on my side for that... as it never got as bad as it looked like it was going to... despite some really bad things... it c...could... h...have been... mu...much worse...." Devision sighed again, softly, blinking his optics to blink back tears that threatened.

"But I n...never knew what they did... how much they really cared... and how much they really spared me from... until they were gone. That's when I became everyone's whipping boy. E...even... used... as... m...motivational... er... reward... for morale improvement... at... ti...times... but somehow... always spared the w...worst atrocities... at the... the very last minute...."

Another heavy sigh, and Devision shifted, uncomfortably, struggling to keep from crying... yet having difficulty. Shyness, and shame... clearly displayed upon his features. "I... well... a... three stellarcycles of that... and... I could not stand being without them, so... I found an out... hoping to be assumed dead when the Predation crashed on Inzer... m...most of the crew died, I believe... well, I did not... so I took the opportunity and sought them out... or at least hoped to find out what became of them..."

"Then... it was not an intended betrayal... and if I was counted as dead, or missing in action, how could I be considered a traitor? But that was never my intention... just to find my brothers or what became of them... was my driving goal for the longest time. One thing led to another... and I will address m...more if you wish... my Lord." Devision rubbed his optics, trying to wipe away the threatening lubricant tears. He was having difficulty not giving into the urge to cry. But he was... trying to be strong.

Devision trembled a little... those days... were not so good. He had never really fit in with the Decepticons. "O...okay. I think I sh...should have been around during the Golden Age of Cybertron... I could have been content then. I wish it could be once more..." Dev whispered, still a bit shaken... he had never so openly discussed his past... ever... with anyone. "I... I am s...sorry... I... am... I n...never spoke of my past m...mostly because it's not been so... so good." Devision looked down at the floor and then at his Master's pedes.

"Okay." Dev sighed, closing his optics a moment. Enjoying the attention from his Lord. Oh, how he craved affection and positive touch... like a drug... but, how... at times... he feared it as well, due to his past experiences.
"Yeah, I prefer only to speak of my positive times with my brothers and of the times I spent on Ardria, and the times I went solo as a rogue... because those times and those adventures were not such bad times... mostly."

"S...so... y,,,you have felt, at times, not much more then like an Eradicon Drone? Could you tell me more about that? I mean... I... I was a bit surprised by that, when you first told me... I did not expect it of you... but I guess anyone can feel useless or worthless, regardless of what deeds they have done or how talented they are... or who they are..." Dev sighed, looking up at his Lord with adoration.

"Wait... so... you... you mean, your wings are not fully in your control?" Dev went wide-optic... surprised by that. "And you... that's...that's just like me... I have always been so hard on myself over being a Seeker with difficulty flying. For me, it's that I have to put out three times the effort, just to fly straight, and appear normal. My flying tends to lead me to drifting to the left, if I don't fight myself... and put out a great deal more effort than the others have to and it's excruciating to do so. So I... I often chose to stay behind then take on missions that required flight.

Or, often I... I have even traded such missions for non-threatening harmless, un-glamorous menial labor or manual labor tasks, such as cleaning... as one cannot get into too much trouble for failing to finish the job, or not doing it well enough. Usually, I just got beat-up a bit if I recharged on the job, or if I did not finish in time. Or did sloppy work.

I have even been called a mudslogger and groundpounder for it... because it became obvious that I avoided flying at every chance. At every opportunity I could turn it down... or deny the option, I did. So... I know what it's like to be... well, to internally fight yourself for inability to fly... or fly properly."