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 Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 2:03 pm
I suddenly feel very lucky.
Though, that's also still assuming I get my foot in the door....
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Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 3:30 pm
scream
We're seeing Harry Potter tomorrow if he gets back from Wisconsin early enough. Not a date (At least I'm pretty sure it's not) but I'm super pumped! whee
Also, I get to help kids at the elementary school near my house with reading every monday for about an hour. I'm so excited because I love kids and this is a great thing to put on college and job applications.
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Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 4:19 pm
Well, I guess I don't have to worry about being judged here if I'm going to be ignored altogether.
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Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 4:24 pm
I'm sick. I have a sinus infection and I can't go to the doctor until Tuesday. My sinus infections are serious - I can't get better without meds.
I have a test in Physio on Monday.
And the girl next door to me is having friends over.
About five feet away from me. FIVE ******** FEET.
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Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 4:26 pm
Jedi Sasquatch Well, I guess I don't have to worry about being judged here if I'm going to be ignored altogether. No one here ever tries to ignore anyone. Often times people are too focused on their own secrets to notice all of the other posts made. If you ever want help or someone to talk to about something specific, just say so, there are a lot of people here that enjoy talking to others. 3nodding
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Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 4:27 pm
CleoSombra I'm sick. I have a sinus infection and I can't go to the doctor until Tuesday. My sinus infections are serious - I can't get better without meds. I have a test in Physio on Monday. And the girl next door to me is having friends over. About five feet away from me. FIVE ******** FEET. I hate that s**t... Back when I lived in a dorm, my roommate always had friends over, and they were always loud and obnoxious... I had to go off somewhere else like the library whenever I had to get any studying done.
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Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 4:29 pm
Calling Shenanigans Jedi Sasquatch Well, I guess I don't have to worry about being judged here if I'm going to be ignored altogether. No one here ever tries to ignore anyone. Often times people are too focused on their own secrets to notice all of the other posts made. If you ever want help or someone to talk to about something specific, just say so, there are a lot of people here that enjoy talking to others. 3nodding Yeah, I guess nobody tried to ignore me, that just happened on its own. That tends to happen to me a lot though. Anyway, yeah, a couple of pages ago I posted this: Jedi Sasquatch Hey, I don't know if anybody remembers me from like a year ago when I used to post in zCB, but I feel like venting, and this is the only guild I have any fond memories of, so yeah. Basically, here are the things that have happened to me for the past however long it's been since I last abandoned Gaia: -Graduated high school -Moved out to college -Became depressed -Flunked out of college -Moved back home Things that didn't happen to me while I was gone: -Get a girlfriend -Commit suicide (though I got close to that one) -Accomplish anything This isn't necessarily a "secret", so I don't know if it's appropriate for this thread, but it feels appropriate to me. So yeah. I'm back. What's been going on with you guys? ...And the suicidal thoughts are back. As prominent as ever.
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Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 4:35 pm
I'm sorry sad I wish I knew what to tell you to make you feel better, but I kind of just met you. sweatdrop
Is there anyone you can go to for help?
My friend has depression and was battling suicidal thoughts, but she's been going to acupuncture and thats helped her a lot. I don't know if thats an option for you though.
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Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 4:39 pm
Sorry, I didn't exactly know how to respond to that.
As for the thoughts:
You may be um, hurt now, but killing or hurting yourself will not make anything better. It'll just hurt those who care about you. Saying "No one cares about me." is not a valid excuse. I know that I don't show my feelings very much around people, but I care about a lot of people very much. I'm not saying that everyone is unemotion-able, but it's different for each person. Whether people can remember off the top of their head, is another question, but I'm sure everyone can remember one thing you've done for them, changed their lives, or just something they did for you. Do not allow these memories to disappear. Hurting yourself is never the answer. Instead, talk to others. Random strangers willing to listen, or just someone you can trust.
Sorry, I don't really know what to say. Just please don't end your or someone else's lives. =/
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Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 4:59 pm
Thanks.
I am aware that people care about me. I just feel like my life is pointless. I feel like my life is a plane that crashed and is burning as we speak. And I know people say that it's never too late to turn things around, but I don't feel the drive to make an effort anymore. I don't really feel the drive to do anything anymore. I'm at the point now where nothing really interests me like it used to, and all I end up doing is either laying in bed or playing Minecraft for hours on end.
And all the while I think about how there are plenty of people in the world that are in much worse positions than I am, and who are willing to work as hard as they possibly can in order to achieve their goals. And if those people saw me the way I am, they'd probably just think I'm some lazy attention whore.
Anyway, I know there's not a lot you guys can say since you don't know me, but I appreciate it.
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Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 5:33 pm
I know that feeling like there's just no point to living, you need to find that point again.
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Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 6:30 pm
I get that feeling a lot. Dunno if I can comment though, because it's more in the philosophical sense than the depressing one. It's humbling if nothing else. Usually I just think the point of living is to live. And the reason I usually never say anything about peoples comments is because I have no idea what I could say. I never expect anyone to reply or say anything about my posts, but I always keep looking back to see if anyone does.
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Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 6:38 pm
I'm afraid of heights. Normal, right? I just can't look at how high up I am...it always makes me picture myself falling off it. Still normal. But the other reason I'm scared of them? I always have this urge to just...hop whatever railing there is and jump off. I don't want to (there are plenty of quicker and more certain ways...although I'm still not sure where I'm going to find a guillotine), but I just get this weird urge...and it's really freaky. In a bad way. Is that remotely normal?
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Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 7:20 pm
Something in me wants to fight back... but I don't have the mental or physical capacity to do so either way xD
Crushing to a point of being crushed... so many new guy friends I made, and kinda sorta having crushes on 'em. Blargh, what to do!??!
I'm just really scared now lol. Fantasizing/Dreaming as always doesn't help one bit.
------------------------------------------
I have a hard time explaining to some classmates of my sexuality as "how can I like guys"? I don't know a direct response the goes through except "it just happens".
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Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 7:27 pm
"I can't anymore"... crying
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