I really hate having to do this to a brand new member, but it's better for you to learn now before you dig yourself in any deeper. After you turn in a mission, please wait for someone to grade it before you post the next mission. So, here's the grade:
Fail.
The mission is extremely short and could use a more developed storyline. And what's this "main group" you mention? The first time you bring them up, you're already running toward it. Also, do you supposedly have Nightcrawler-esque teleporting powers? If you want to get away with that on a mission, you'll have use them more creatively!
A couple of quick battle notes too:
- You don't really need to announce when you're going to
BATTLE, even though there's nothing wrong with it. It's just a jarring change of pace.
- Combination attacks like that may work in the TV series, but you have to be careful using them here. They almost border on godmodding, which would be an automatic fail.
- You also can't capture a KO'ed Pokemon. Weaken it to the brink of fainting, but don't knock it out.
Please remember to include the full mission brief. I'm glad you did that for the other two missions, but when you resubmit
this mission, please add the brief.
V-Amaterasu-V
MISSION- Flame on!
Go find a fire pokemon!
Pokemon:
Any non evolved, non legendary fire pokemon
Money: 600
Fail.
First of all, since Night Raid on Devon failed, you don't have Duskull.
As before, it's a short mission and could use a little more story. I'm not going to require it on this one, but it'd be nice to see anyway. For example, maybe take a little more time hunting around the volcano?
The biggest problem here is that you use three pokemon to battle Charmander. Battles are to be either single or double. Send one pokemon in to fight, then if you need to, call it back and let another one go in.
Plus, Electrike can't use Volt Tackle. That move is exclusive to Pichu, Pikachu, and Raichu.
V-Amaterasu-V
MISSION- Birch's First Break-in
Any Team Aqua member is asked to go to Prof. Birch's lab in Littleroot and steal one of his three pokemon (Treeko, Torchic, Mudkip). You must sneak in at night. But don't get caught by Prof. Birch or his assistant. At some point you must battle the pokemon you stole/are stealing, if you want to catch it.
Pokemon:
Treecko
Torchic
Mudkip
Funds upon completion: 300
Fail because you don't have Charmander.
Putting that minor detail aside, you need to work on developing your story. You send Charmander into the lab to distract Birch and his assistant, but how does Charmander get away when he's done? How does Duskull get a relatively solid Pokeball out through an equally solid laboratory wall? Why didn't you sneak into the lab yourself? If Birch is already awake and trying to help Charmander, would he notice a battle taking place right outside?
As for the battle itself, I think it was a tad short. Yes Charmander has the type advantage, but Treecko has speed on its side. Could you possibly extend the fight by one or two turns?
I'm really sorry I had to do that, but don't get discouraged. Look at this as a chance to improve yourself. The better the mission, the more likely you are to rank up.
One final thing.
I noticed when quoting your post that you tried to center certain parts.
Gaia deletes excess spaces.
Use (align=center) (/align) and change () to []
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