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 Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 8:11 am
Marcus answered with a characteristic smirk, though it was clear he felt quite lost over the situation at hand. "Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps you do not need to understand everything that happens in your mind, Terryn?" He smiled slightly, and kissed her for a few minutes more. She preferred that, he figured, to his babbling. He was careful to keep them in close contact however, when he did pull away some, stroking her hair or hands.
"You have just let yourself start feeling things. You let things in now. I couldn't do that," he pointed out. He looked at Terryn now, examining her tear-stained countenance and slightly hunched shoulders. She looked like she was trying to physically shield herself from some sort of barrage of artillery fire. He swept his fingers over them tenderly, because Terryn wanted physical comfort at the moment, and he was particularly familiar with that. But he was also familiar with misreading emotions, and doing rash things that he regretted later. So he kissed her not tentatively, but carefully, so that her grief and bewilderment wouldn't swish around and spill over.
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Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 10:43 am
Terryn found herself lost in thought, digressing from focusing on Marcus's touch to contemplating his words. She didn't really want to start feeling things, she couldn't. She had made herself a promise a long time ago that with her mother and brothers dead her heart was incomplete, and so she had shut it off to everyone except her lord father. She didn't know if she even could fully open it up again. True, she had allowed Marcus to somehow sneak through the cracks, but she had the feeling that it was because she saw her brothers somehow reflected in his manner. Not that she had been romantically attracted to her brothers, but the thought of being able to hold on to them a little bit was a comfort.
She didn't like this feeling. After building up so many emotions behind her guarded walls, she was starting to release them and it all fell out like a flood gate. It didn't help her crying at all, and she ended up grabbing Marcus and practically slamming him down onto her. She lost her breath for a moment, but didn't care as she rolled onto her side and started sobbing into his chest. "I don't...don't..." She gasped for air, trying to brush away her tears. "I don't like feelings. They make me too stupid and I lose control of myself. Her shoulders heaved as she cried into his chest, hating herself for it. "And what if you realize you don't love me this way? You know that your first intrigue in me came because I was different, because I thought more with my mind than my heart. Well, what now?"
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Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 1:05 pm
Marcus frowned. "What now?" he repeated, evidently bemused. He had absorbed that Terryn was in terrible pain, and that she regretted losing her cold demeanor. The individual emotions, though, were too much for him to fully comprehend. "Terryn, of course I still love you. You do have your mind, and use it and speak it. This--" He gestured quite uselessly around them. "--this is not weakness." He furrowed his brows, trying to describe it.
"It is not stupidity, I assure you. To be honest, I'm not sure what it is. But I know that it will pass." He said this not in a particularly cheery voice, but in a tone that simply conveyed firm confidence. "If I have learned anything at all from my years, it is that all times pass."
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Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 1:49 pm
Terryn didn't believe so, even though she greatly wanted to. But, after all, Marcus had more experience with women and their emotions than she did, to be quite honest, so he was more likely to be knowledgeable on the subject than she was. She simply responded to him with a brief nod and a not so brief kiss before pulling back and rubbing at her eyes. Tears were still flowing, but at the very least she had regained her breathing.
When she finally wiped her eyes clear of water and could look at him again, she couldn't help give him a half hearted smile. He looked concerned, even if it seemed like he was trying to be confident. She just wanted to reassure him. "Will my father be alright?" It kept coming back to it; sure she had the time to let the pain pass, but did he? He was getting on in years and this was the second younger wife he had outlived. She feared that it would be too much. "What if getting a pet for him doesn't help? What if it just makes him lonelier, or if it angers him that we tried to replace a human with a hound?"
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Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 3:06 pm
Marcus listened patiently to Terryn's fears. He wondered when she would catch on that he was as unsure as she was about everything. It was vaguely flattering that she genuinely expected answers from him, but he could really only pretend sagacity for so long. "Well," he said, after a moment. "What do you think would be the best idea, if not a bloodhound?" He knew the second it left his mouth that he shouldn't have asked it. For some reason unknown, though, he did not retract it, and looked down.
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Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 3:20 pm
Terryn looked at him, crestfallen. The tears began tugging at her eyes and make them burn, but she swiped them off before they could fall. "I don't know, Marcus. If I did, I wouldn't have to ask." She sniffled, keeping the tears back as much as she possibly could. "I think the best idea would be for me to be a child again, like when Momma and the boys died, so that he doesn't feel so alone. He can talk to a hound as much as he wants, but it won't respond the same way a child can. It can just run off and do what it pleases, and he isn't young enough to chase after a four legged best." She sniffled. "I wish I could turn back time."
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Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 3:43 pm
"...I know." Marcus couldn't do much else at this point. She'd agreed to a child already, in due time, and he felt bad for having pressured her at all. "Ah, Terryn," he mumbled, leaning over to kiss her. "Perhaps if you get some sleep." He knew he was completely at a loss then. "We would be more clearheaded once rested."
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Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 3:51 pm
"Perhaps..." Terryn couldn't deny that the evening had exhausted her, and she did tend to be more in her mind when she woke up in the morning. She cleared her eyes and nuzzled up against his chest, letting herself relax in his embrace. She tried to calm down completely, but her mind was still moving at a dizzying pace and she couldn't shut her eyes. "I don't think I can sleep Marcus...I am too troubled. My mind refuses to rest." She lifted her head to meet his eyes, feeling guilty for not letting just letting him sleep. Thing was, she normally just let herself toss in bed at night until she wore herself down whenever this happened, but she knew doing such wold disturb him anyway. "I need a distraction."
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Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 4:09 pm
Marcus fell silent for a while, rubbing her back. "So does your father." He sighed. If he didn't know better, he would have tried to physically compensate for her confusion. But that didn't fix anything, he now knew, and he swallowed. There would be no rest for him, of course, if Terryn couldn't fall asleep. He didn't mind. He had an idea, though. He started rambling, about the first thing that came to mind: hounds. "...And of course, I wanted to keep it. Mind, I was nine years old at the time. Gran was openly fond of it, too, until it shredded her garden to bits. After that, she had one of us always watching it, because she did not have the heart to get rid of it, as she claimed she did. Characteristic of Gran, I suppose. When she thought no one was watching sometimes, she gave it food..."
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Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 11:47 am
Tria was asleep before the hour was up. It was something about Michael's voice, his soft yet strong hands brushing her skin and holding her close. It reminded her of when she was a child and her father would read to her from books that he had picked up from a traveling scholar or visiting monastery. She tried to stay awake a bit and listen, to show him that she wasn't falling asleep out of boredom. Oh well, if he thought that she could always correct him in the morning.
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Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 2:09 pm
"...our surprise when we found pups..." Marcus yawned and looked down, and at last spotted Terryn asleep. He'd nearly dozed off himself, and gratefully fell silent. He'd bored himself almost as soon as he'd started, and was amazed that Terryn had lasted so long. It was only to be expected, though, that she would fall asleep to his incessant talking. Contentedly, he watched the steady rise and fall of the bit of stray thread on her shoulder until he closed his eyes and slept, curling his arms around Terryn like firm vines in slightly puffy white sleeves.
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Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 6:49 pm
When the morning sun spread in through the windows of her room, Terryn felt particularly hostile to responding. She groaned and flipped onto her other side, facing the door as opposed to the opening that let the light in. She didn't want to face the day, face her father. She preferred to just stay asleep in Marcus's arms and wake up when things got a little better. She wasn't exactly sure when things would get better, and the thought upset her. She flipped over again, burying her head in Marcus's chest and squeezing her eyes shut to combat her rapidly waking body.
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Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 9:34 pm
"Mmph?" Marcus grumbled. He rarely dreamed when he slept, and thus sleep was an ideal source of calm. "I had just fallen asleep," he complained, though he had been sleeping for at least five or six hours. He opened his eyes gradually, though, when he was sufficiently awake. "I was unraveling my psyche. It all traces back to the hounds, you know." He smirked then, kissing Terryn's sleepy features. "Or would you?"
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Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 9:43 pm
Terryn only mumbled in response, her hand reaching out and lazily batting at Marcus's face. "Hounds..." She flopped onto her back, yawning loudly as she pried her eyes open. "I..." She yawned. "I want to sleep." She grabbed her pillow and pressed it over her face. "Wake me once the sun has set. I feel that today calls for a withdrawal from the world." She pulled the pillow off momentarily, tilting her head to kiss her husband before dropping it back on top of her head.
Terryn determined that if she could sleep this day away, she would be more mentally prepared to face her father and her late stepmother and her life. If she could have one day to sleep, then perhaps she would have a clearer mind in the morning and could determine what it was exactly that she wanted for her father and herself, be it a hound or...well...she would determine that tomorrow.
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Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 9:49 pm
Marcus raised his eyebrows, impressed. He was especially surprised because Terryn was usually early to rise, and never one to lay lazily in bed. But of course, these were not normal circumstances, and Marcus sat up carefully so he wouldn't disturb her. He was hungry, and he set off towards the kitchen after getting somewhat dressed. He only hoped he wouldn't meet up with the earl or Gran.
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