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 Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 7:06 pm
I can no longer return to those days free of bloodshed
These deep scars rooted within me will not disappear...
 "Don't you think I'm aware that it's a waste of breath?" he looked up from underneath his eyelashes. "But there's nothing else I know to do! I don't want to just sit here in silence. And don't think for a minute that what I've been through isn't as bad. I killed my own brother, Naoko! Twice!" he hissed, keeping his voice as low and even as he could. "Do you have any idea, any idea at all what that's done to me? I doubt you care, because I have hurt you, and I do deserve to suffer for it, but you need to screw your head on straight and realize that you aren't the only person who's had to suffer. I shot my brother when I was fifteen ******** years old, because I couldn't continue on with the things he did. And let me tell you, the things he did to me make what I did to you look like a pleasantry. Now, I find out he's alive. After ten years, he just shows up! And he tells me all these pretty things, gives me hope, only to prove that he's even worse than the first time around. And I have to kill him, again! This time, for you! Because I didn't want you hurt anymore! not ever again! But we're all hurting now! We're all ******** up! Be glad Ryu IS alive.You're alive, I'm alive...we're all alive! Of course it's going to ******** with you, what happened. I don't expect it to not...but Ryu is alive, and it's over. It's...over." Hayato's own rant ended, and he cradled his head in his hands, staring at the floor. His heart was beating so fast and so hard. "If...if you want me to go, then I'll go." he said, a much calmer tone this time. Hide it, Hide it
Hide me...
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 7:15 pm
"It will never be over." Naoko replied coldly, throwing the blanket off his body and standing up.
Shakily, he walked across the room, bare feet padding softly, hospital gown making him look even thinner than he was. Only when he was in front of Hayato did he stop.
Reaching out, he grabbed the raven-haired man's chin and lifted it until his old lover's dark gaze was locked with his own amber eyes.
"It will NEVER be over, Jun. I'll forever remember what I did... just like you will. He was your brother. He hurt you. You killed him. Ryu was my lover. He never did anything but love and cherish me. And I believed with my entire being that he was dead because I killed him." sneering angrily at the vocalist, Naoko let the man's chin go. "I can't involve him again. I can't. Sai was right... I fell too quickly for my akuma... hard and fast, just like I fell for you. Both have given me nothing but ******** heartache. Yes, I'm happy he's alive. But that doesn't stop the fact that every damn time I close my eyes... I see that pipe slamming into his head with all the strength I possessed."
He turned, pacing to the window and looking out at the cold morning, one arm around himself, the other rubbing the back of his neck.
"I hate this world..." Naoko couldn't help but whisper.
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 7:32 pm
I can no longer return to those days free of bloodshed
These deep scars rooted within me will not disappear...
He really didn't have anything else to say after that. What could he say? Naoko wasn't completely right, but he wasn't really wrong, either. What truly disturbed Hayato, though, was the look in the pianist's eyes. Something inside the man had been re-written, it seemed. Something broken that even he hadn't managed to break in the time he was with the blond. The way he stood there, looking out the window, declaring that he hated the world... That wasn't the Naoko he remembered. This Naoko...this Naoko frightened him. Not in the same way his brother had frightened him, but in the way something is frightening when a person realizes it is wrong, bent and misshapen, and totally unnatural. What could he do about it now? Standing in silence, Hayato turned and began to walk for the door. If he wasn't wanted or needed, perhaps it was best to go. Unless Naoko said otherwise, he would just wait outside. Hide it, Hide it
Hide me...
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 7:37 pm
"Running away?" Naoko asked, never turning toward Hayato, his back remaining at the man. "Are you too much a coward to see what's finally happened? How long did you think it'd be before I broke..."
Okay so he was aware of his change, which was good... or really bad because the blond didn't seem like he really wanted to fix said change.
"How long, Jun?" he asked again, turning to face the vocalist, expression completely blank. "Did you think I'd be joyous? Think I'd just jump up and down and proclaim that I love life? I didn't want to die... so I betrayed you to your brother... yet you really don't seem to care about that... do you?..." he asked, perplexed by this. "What happened to the Hayato I knew, hmm? You changed in one single night, before any of this happened. All because..." Naoko sighed quickly, rubbing his neck hard, as if it hurt.
Well it did... kind of...
"I want to see Shou without his makeup. No one's ever done it, to my knowledge, save apparently you... I need to know the truth, Jun. I have to know if he's my brother... I need to know if you ******** broke him too."
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 7:51 pm
I can no longer return to those days free of bloodshed
These deep scars rooted within me will not disappear...
Hayato stopped in his tracks. Turning around, he slowly faced the blond. "No, I'm not running. I'm not a coward, but I don't like what I see. This isn't you, Naoko." he said, his mannerisms relaying just how difficult of a time he was having with things. He appeared nervous, shaken, sad, and rather broken himself...but at least he kept himself together. "I don't know what exactly to expect, Naoko...but I don't think this is it. And I don't care that you betrayed me to him. I wouldn't expect anything less. It's normal. I deserved it, anyway. What should I have expected? For you to protect me from him? After all I did to you?" he gave his own perplexed look to the pianist. "If you want to know what happened to me...I made a choice. I remembered something that was said to me, and I remembered how I felt...when I figured out what affection really was. Hope changed me, Naoko. Hope, and love. But it was a conscious decision, it just needed a catalyst, and a bit of fate. Sai changed me, whether you like it or not. And I can guarantee you that Shou is Sai, though I don't know if he will be willing to take off his makeup for you. Hell, perhaps I did break him! Why else would he think he's somebody completely different? All I know is that I wasn't trying to...there must have been something else...but the fact is, I can't give you those answers, I can only tell you what I believe to be true. You have to find your own answers and figure out what you believe." Hide it, Hide it
Hide me...
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 8:02 pm
"What I believe... sou ka..." Naoko whispered, nodding his head. "How is it not me, Jun? What isn't me? I've had enough of it all! If Ryu wasn't alive I'd be trying to kill myself right now!" he sighed, lowering his voice. "I see what you became... the darkness you harbored... you brought out a dark side in me... your brother managed to make that side stay." laughing softly, the blond shook his head. "I could do it again, you know... kill someone... it was really easy, well, obviously I failed at it but still..." anger flashed over his face and he turned just enough to glare at the people who passed by a few floors down on the streets. "Why should they be safe and happy? This world ISN'T safe... ISN'T full of happiness... they're all just lying to themselves in the end... refusing to see the truth... the horror in the hearts of man..."
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 8:10 pm
I can no longer return to those days free of bloodshed
These deep scars rooted within me will not disappear...
"Well...." Hayato said, crossing the room toward Naoko, "What exactly do you plan to do, then?" he asked. Maybe everyone else, for the most part, was just walking blind through their lives, lying to themselves, going through their safe little lives, guarding everything that makes up their joy. That didn't mean they didn't deserve it. Everyone deserved a little peace, a little joy, a little happiness. Without that...the darkness consumed all. Hayato knew that all too well. Hell, with enough darkness, even a little happiness couldn't make up for it. It took a lot to pull someone out of that. But...thinking that Naoko could actually kill someone now...again.... It was the talk of madness. Hide it, Hide it
Hide me...
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 8:16 pm
"What will I do?" Naoko shrugged, not even noticing that his nails were digging into the back of his neck painfully as he rubbed. "Maybe I'll see what it's like to rid the world of a foolish dreamer or two... would it surprise you? To know your little doll could kill?" smirking, the blond laughed darkly. "I bet some part of you would like it... find it oh so seductively sexy... your little Naoko... all covered in blood..." he started laughing again, though this time it had an obvious madness to it. "Why would Ryu say? I think he'd run... run so far away from me that he'd never be able to look back... he'd be safe if he did that, you know... if he ran... safe and smart really... And Sai... what would my brother say if he saw me in the blood of someone I'd just offed in an alley? Would he wipe it away and dress me up in a little frilly gown?" the pianist scoffed at this, turning back to Hayato fully, no longer looking out the window. "What about you? Would you run from your precious doll? Or am I just thrown by the wayside now that Shou's getting the rise out of you?"
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 8:24 pm
I can no longer return to those days free of bloodshed
These deep scars rooted within me will not disappear...
It hurt. It hurt so bad. His...heart... It ached..... In one swift movement, Hayato had Naoko cradled against his chest, holding him tight so that even if the blond fought, he wouldn't get away. So what if he clawed or scratched him? That didn't matter now. "I wouldn't run...nor would I actually stand by and let you do something so foolish. You can't go doing things like that, Naoko. You simply cannot. I don't presume to know what RYu would think or say, but I know he'd back me up here, and I honestly believe he would stick by you. He's not the easy-to-give-up type, if you haven't noticed. Now please...please stop saying these things. You aren't a wicked soul...and you don't have to become like me. You don't. You're something so much better than I ever had a chance of being. If you have to hurt someone, anyone...then let it be me..." And the tears fell. Fell like rain. He loved Sai...but he would be a liar if he said he didn't love Naoko. He loved them both, just in different ways, and for different reasons. Whatever the reason, he couldn't let this precious man just go and destroy himself, or anyone else. Hide it, Hide it
Hide me...
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 8:30 pm
Strangely... Naoko didn't fight back.
He stayed still and silent in Hayato's arms... surprised at the man's reaction.
For certain, the blond had thought the vocalist would agree with everything he was saying...
Unable to stop it, NAKO began to cry. He moved his hands until he was clinging at Hayato's blood stained clothes, holding on with all his might as he cried.
The mood swings of the pianist were very sporadic... and yet... he couldn't help it. He wanted to kill... to hurt... to main and destroy and anger and let his rage out... but he also wanted to cry... to sob and scream and... he wanted to be loved...
Even if it was Jun... even if he knew this man was wrong... he just wanted someone, anyone, to hold him and try to understand...
Naoko didn't want to be alone... because in all honesty, he thought he'd loose himself to the darkness... to the silence... with no one by his side.
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 8:40 pm
I can no longer return to those days free of bloodshed
These deep scars rooted within me will not disappear...
"Let it out....let it all out..." Hayato instructed even as he cried. Sinking to his knees, he still held Naoko tight, the two of them crying together. He knew how the pianist felt right now. He had been there himself. The thing is....he didn't overcome it, and he knew exactly what came out of such insanity, such dark depravity. He had to do something...or else the cycle his big brother started would begin again, having claimed another victim. "You're not alone, Naoko..." he soothed, rubbing the blond's back. "You have so much going for you...so much to love and hold onto. Ryu, Sai, even me. Naoko...I still love you. I'll never hurt you again, I promise you on my life...but I care about you. I just never showed it. Not the way any sane man would...so if you have to let the darkness come out...then let it come out on me, the one responsible for putting it in you. Can you do that, Naoko? Please?" he pleaded, never letting go of the blond for a second. Hide it, Hide it
Hide me...
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 8:48 pm
But the blond shook his head, still clinging to the other man. He had stopped crying, but he just wanted to be held...
He wanted to know he was safe... even if he still thought Jun a monster in his own right...
"You don't understand!" Naoko shouted, face buried in Hayato's chest. "It hurts!!! It hurts so bad!" sniffling he looked up into the other man's face. "I... I want the blood... I want other people to suffer... It's pointless if I take it out on you because you're already suffering! Don't you get it?! I don't want this world to be ******** happy!!! I want it all to just disappear!!!!!"
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 8:49 pm
Do you know what you got into
Can you handle what I’m ’bout to do------------------------------------------------}:-  SHOU
No escaping when I start .traeh ruoy nwo I ni m'I ecnO
Hospital
After Hayato left, Shou slept a little while longer before finally getting himself back together after taking some time to peer into a mirror. Popping out a case beneath the seats he touched up his make-up feeling that the Angel appearance would have work for him awhile longer considering all the white hair extensions feathers and crystal beads still were woven into his hair. He added a little makeup here and there until the angelic face was smooth and glittering.
Then, he finally went inside and scouted out the current situation. Narcissus was still in a coma and everyone seemed to be where they were when he had left surprisingly. But before he could snag Nakai for maybe breakfast to talk, Hamu took his arm.
"Shou-sama, we need to talk alone." he said and pulled the super star back a few feet to a corner. "Here's your phone." He handed Shou the phone and Shou looked at the message. Maybe he became a bit paler than even his make-up could accomplish
"Good grief, Hamu-kun...I really need a vacation. Between Narcissus and Naoko..." he paused just a bit...his head throbbing a little. "Has to be the stress...and Ryuukaze-san...." He took a deep breath then said, "I'm sure you're already ahead of me. Take me there."
Soon the Hamu was taking Shou quickly down the hall to the room where Naoko and Hayato were waiting, a room close to the ER. Yamada-san opened the door and let Shou in before following suit.
"I just got the news...Hayato-kun! Are they going to be... al...ri...ght?" Shou's words stuttered then halted as the conversation played upon his hears. But still to be honest he almost didn't want to know what had happened 'this time'. It seemed that Izzy Lucky was not the only one with Bad luck. In fact, he walked into what he might call a veritable nightmare in the real world. Bad Luck had a way of spreading itself around.
"I think I might have walked in at the wrong time." said Shou as he got to take in the last few sentences and stared at the blood all over both men. Oh yes, he had come in at the wrong time...very wrong time but at least Hamu was still there with him and he was glad Hamu was sticking close. At least, from what he knew, Hamu rarely had...'visible' problems. Or if he did have problems, they never showed up at work.
"Should I come back....later?" Shou wasn't exactly sure what to say here because from the stuff he just heard it really sound like Naoko had snapped. But not having enough context, Shou couldn't even fathom what to say. The angel looked utterly confounded.
-:{------------------------------------------------Cause it’s about to get rough for you
I’m here For Your Entertainment
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 9:13 pm
I can no longer return to those days free of bloodshed
These deep scars rooted within me will not disappear...
"You can't...you can't do that!" Hayato tried to reason with the pianist. "What happened wasn't right, but you can't let it take away who you are...Naoko, there's another way...." As he held the pianist close, he jumped when he heard Shou's voice. He had known the man would come, eventually, but it did take him by surprise. He hadn't expected Naoko to break down and fall into this pit like it seemed he had. "Shou....don't go. We have a problem....the person...the person who hurt Izzy Lucky...he did this...to Naoko, to Ryu...and he tried to get me too..." He had to explain, had to weave the web now. Lying to Shou, though...he didn't enjoy it one bit. The only thing that made it better was knowing that he would only be hurting everyone more if he told the truth. Hide it, Hide it
Hide me...
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 9:27 pm
He couldn't look at Shou at first.
Instead, releasing his hold on Hayato, Naoko stood up, taking a deep breath to steady himself, before finally... finally... looking at Shou.
"No... you can stay... I... I'm sorry... I've been through a lot today..." he whispered, rubbing the back of his neck again as he moved to get back in bed. "Ryu nearly died. I thought he WAS dead until Hayato found us and untied me... The doctors are working on him now... but I don't know anything yet..." he sighed softly, amber gaze tired. "Gomen ne.... seems we made a bad day even worse. I was grabbed leaving the club to hail a cab... heh..."
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