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I have bad time management. I always find myself playing Video Games, instead of doing homework when I should be. I end up procrastinating so much my work seems rushed, and I don't get it done as well as I could have. I feel as though working during my many spares I have throughout the day at school will get me by, but complications always arise, like me losing my Student card (found it!), so I couldn't borrow a laptop from the school library, or just end up wasting it talking to my friends, or just fiddling around with something like my iPod or my DS or on the limited amount of internet we get at school.
I've had a bad habit of procrastination for so long its too hard to break. Yeah I know many other people do it too, but I feel as though I wouldn't have this problem had I taken the other option for which kinds of classes i'd be taking back in grade.8.

I'm also trying to be a better person, i've been "mean" to a friend of mine, which I regard as teasing. Not because I like her, but because she's so easy to tease, and its quite funny at times to see her reaction. Though lately i've been teasing her less, as she is just so dense it frustrates me to no end.

A third thing I need to get off my chest, I hate myself. I grew up thinking i'd settle for a girl who's personality I like, and not be "stupid" like all the other guys I go to school with who only like a girl based on her looks. I also used to think that people going out were stupid, like "You're 14 you are not in love!". But now, i'm getting somewhat jealous of seeing all the couples at school, sure I want a girlfriend, but its more i'd like to meet someone to "fall in love" with... I tell myself that I don't want a girlfriend just for the sake of having one, which is what I think. Also, my standards have gone up, I now actually care about looks, and though personality is first, I can't help but hope she's at least decent looking, and I hate myself for thinking that.

And this may not be the thread to say this, but hey, I'm a member of this guild but I never really come here, and now I want to come here to make more friends as most of my regular threads are starting to die. D; And posting this wall of text may be a good start, getting some things off my chest, and hopefully being able to walk forward. I want to change myself a bit, and from past experience, talking about it always helps, mostly on the internet. I find it so much more easy to talk about things via technology as it's indirect and sometimes anonymous.

First time I've actually missed someone when I had to go and they left before I got back xD <3333 thanks soosh

I have facebook set so Jon doesn't show up. But then I'm an idiot and actually go on his profile and learn s**t I don't want to know. Why do I keep doing this to myself?

First claustrophobia induced panic attack today in a long time. Brought on thanks to my lovely friends (who are told twice a week that I have claustrophobia as it's mentioned every damn time we go up early for anatomy so I can miss the crowds of people in the lift!) who decided to enclose me on all sides and then basically like hump parts of my body. And were shocked when I freaked out. In fact found it funny that I wasn't a. breathing properly, b. was shaking like a leaf, c. had gone completely pale and then burst into terrified tears. Thanks a lot guys thanks a lot. Only two of my friends actually attempted to help me. And then my other friends having proceeded to realise I was having a panic attack decided that it would be a good idea to try and HUG the claustrophobic girl having a panic attack, because that's CLEARLY a well thought out plan.

Hell I was shaking so much one of my friends (one of the two who tried to help) said I looked like I had PST. So you can tell I was pretty screwy. I then went outside (we were waiting to get into a lecture, which is bad enough at the best of times), with the people who were being nice and helping me; thus not getting to close. And then some of the folks who set me off came out and tried to hug me again. Hello! I've got outsdie for space and AIR. So yeh, spent the rest of the lecture quietly freaked and then because stressing about the bus on the way home hoping it wasn't crowded (so not need a panic attack on a bus).

Oh, and my bf was meant to phone me and let me know what was happening tonight and hasn't... not happy.

So all in all a ******** shitty day.

Oh nooooooo, the computer was commandeered from me again and I couldn't get it back from said commandeerer, I'm so sorry! TDT

M'grandma is coming to town.
No, that's not a good thing.
There's going to be hell for a while.

xDD It's kay. I missed you today while I was at my friend's Halloween party ;o; <3

On another note:

-people who go out just to get smashed need to grow up a little. (At said party a whole bunch of girls showed up and just did jagerbombs. 5 of them. Not really even a hello or anything :/ drink but man.)
-I got to be a really scary looking punk >w< I'll put up a picture when I upload <3