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 Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 7:08 pm
I am a pot. A pot filled to the brim with water and left on the stove, turned to the highest setting, for years and years, with many more years to come. The stuff inside me steadily gets hotter and hotter and hotter, and bigger and bigger and bigger.
I have to open the lid. I have to. Just for a millimeter, just for a second...I can't stand it. It gets worse and worse every day.
My parents, my teachers, and everyone else around me insists on me keeping my lid shut, saying most pots keep their lids airtight all their lives; it's what good pots do. Cracking the lid will ensure my failure in life, they say.
But every ounce of my energy, mental and physical, day to day, is spent on avoiding the impulse to pry the lid open, just for a second...
And so many people aspire to long lives.
Ha.
The longer I live, the more intolerable the buildup gets, and I'll never understand how people can even stand to live as long as I have without going insane.
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 7:34 pm
I'm so sick of crying because of him.
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:16 pm
Dear Mother,
PLEASE STOP TALKING. I MEAN SERIOUSLY, SHUT THE ******** UP.
I'm sorry you're too scared to deal with the general public. You are NOT sheltering me for the rest of my life. Just because I grew up in a town that's 99.999999999% upper middle class white people does not mean I'm going to live in one forever. Stop being so ******** judgmental of people that didn't graduate high school, and stop being so racist towards basically anyone that isn't white.
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:29 pm
It hurts when you find out that the girl that you've liked for quite some time now, the girl that you thought you had a chance with and thought had a bit of feelings for you, seems to have ended up finding someone else
hrrrrrrnnnnnnnggggghhhh.
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:41 pm
cow of the null It hurts when you find out that the girl that you've liked for quite some time now, the girl that you thought you had a chance with and thought had a bit of feelings for you, seems to have ended up finding someone else hrrrrrrnnnnnnnggggghhhh. Aw, I'm so sorry. D: I know just how you feel emo
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:42 pm
Pirate Captain Sushi I'm so glad I told you about my crush on you last month.
I'm usually one who looks down on those mushy-gushy relationships but I can't help but be a hypocrite. We've just got so much on par~
I love you so much! >w<
Now I get a smile more often and hate seeing you leave xD <3333
ilu2 <3
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:47 pm
Dressing up for decades day toomarow. I'm gonna get really into it, not just dress up for it. I normally take my laptop to school everyday and carry it around, but toomarow, I'll be taking my 80s computer to school and carrying it around by the handle, going on about how all this new technology stuff is crazy man. I finished building that desk today, btw, so the picture was taken like 40 minutes ago.
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 10:11 pm
It's been about two weeks since I had a decent night's sleep. And I probably still won't until Monday Wednesday. This is ridiculous and frustrating and I just want to break down and cry myself to sleep T____T
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 10:18 pm
Calling Shenanigans Dear Mother,
PLEASE STOP TALKING. I MEAN SERIOUSLY, SHUT THE ******** UP.
I'm sorry you're too scared to deal with the general public. You are NOT sheltering me for the rest of my life. Just because I grew up in a town that's 99.999999999% upper middle class white people does not mean I'm going to live in one forever. Stop being so ******** judgmental of people that didn't graduate high school, and stop being so racist towards basically anyone that isn't white. This. D: My mom sounds a lot like that. Plus, some of the smartest, wisest, most revered people I have ever met never graduated high school, and in matters pertaining to almost any subject, I would take their word over that of someone with a college degree.
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 10:34 pm
LabTech Kestin I am a pot. A pot filled to the brim with water and left on the stove, turned to the highest setting, for years and years, with many more years to come. The stuff inside me steadily gets hotter and hotter and hotter, and bigger and bigger and bigger. I have to open the lid. I have to. Just for a millimeter, just for a second...I can't stand it. It gets worse and worse every day. My parents, my teachers, and everyone else around me insists on me keeping my lid shut, saying most pots keep their lids airtight all their lives; it's what good pots do. Cracking the lid will ensure my failure in life, they say. But every ounce of my energy, mental and physical, day to day, is spent on avoiding the impulse to pry the lid open, just for a second... And so many people aspire to long lives. Ha. The longer I live, the more intolerable the buildup gets, and I'll never understand how people can even stand to live as long as I have without going insane. I can't really say I understand completely, but I have definitely had times when I just wanted to die. Didn't want to be in this world anymore, so I guess I'll say how I dealt with it maybe it could work for you as well. Using your metaphor with the pot it works to say that it's VERY necessary to let off some steam sometimes. Lose some of the heat. What I find is the best thing to do for that is find somewhere quite, where no one will hear you, and complain aloud what's bothering you. Just talk and reason yourself through it, and it helps deal with it just letting it out helps. Even if no one actually hears you. Though complaining to something/someone that doesn't interrupt you is a bit better. I've complained to a variety of things: my sister, cat, computer, stuffed animals, homework, etc. just complaining to something other than air is good. That way there's a median that's a symbol of something paying attention. Another thing that helps is to find something calming, something that just makes you feel at peace. For me it's either playing the piano, listening to music, or reading a book. And I've also used swinging as a way to make me calm down. Sometimes playing games on the computer can help as well, I remember once I was really angry and so played zOMG so that I could kill stuff to release anger (pretending the animated are the things I'm annoyed with). I hope my rant on how I deal with negative thoughts is helpful to you, though I know that everyone deals with things differently. Whatever the case, I hope you feel happier soon. *hugs* @LMF: Getting enough sleep is difficult. What with classes, homework, and procrastination... I haven't gotten a decent nights sleep since last Thursday. I got enough sleep over the weekend, but it wasn't all that resting so I've just been constantly tired. And since me and my family are going away for the weekend I'm going to have to use tonight and tomorrow night to catch up and get ahead on all my homework... going to be tiring. If you can you should find some time during the day to get a nap or something in, even just a 20 minute nap does wonders.
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 10:55 pm
You people tell me every ******** day how stupid and fat I am. Yet you expect to to get good grades. You expect me to lose weight. You expect me to do everything around the house. I'm so ******** tired of this. So ******** tired. You know I have ADD. It's not even Gaia that does it any more. I'm so ******** lonely without having anyone to talk to other than this family I just make up stories or read to keep me occupied...and they do. I don't even want to talk to anyone, let alone this family, anymore. People on Gaia, yes. I don't see people looking at me like I'm a freak because I'm socially ******** up. I just read. So tired.
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 11:21 pm
Jer0nim0 You people tell me every ******** day how stupid and fat I am. Yet you expect to to get good grades. You expect me to lose weight. You expect me to do everything around the house. I'm so ******** tired of this. So ******** tired. You know I have ADD. It's not even Gaia that does it any more. I'm so ******** lonely without having anyone to talk to other than this family I just make up stories or read to keep me occupied...and they do. I don't even want to talk to anyone, let alone this family, anymore. People on Gaia, yes. I don't see people looking at me like I'm a freak because I'm socially ******** up. I just read. So tired.
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 11:27 pm
Insanity fuels me right now
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Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 2:45 am
On Tuesday I didn't notice the pizza guy being sarcastic to me, the autistic guy next to me did. And then proceeded to give me into trouble (sort of) for not noticing and him actually noticing.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm as neurologically typical as I'm supposed to be.
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Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 6:02 am
Jikoniau @LMF: Getting enough sleep is difficult. What with classes, homework, and procrastination... I haven't gotten a decent nights sleep since last Thursday. I got enough sleep over the weekend, but it wasn't all that resting so I've just been constantly tired. And since me and my family are going away for the weekend I'm going to have to use tonight and tomorrow night to catch up and get ahead on all my homework... going to be tiring. If you can you should find some time during the day to get a nap or something in, even just a 20 minute nap does wonders.
I don't really have time... I have a big test to study for (the kind where I need to do a lot of practice problems, and I can never do enough, so I'm not going to get to a point where I can consider myself "done" studying--I'll just stop once it's time to take the test tomorrow). And I have to finish a giant essay this morning. And then when I get home from school tomorrow, my paper will be turned in and my test will be finished... but I have to work right after school. And then I have to be up at 7:30 on Saturday and Sunday for work, and I'm going to want to spend time with Alex after work. I never get to talk to him lately because he gets online so late, and we only get an hour or two together before he has to go to bed. I stay up so late just for that hour or two of time with him. crying And then I have an expensive dinner thing to go to with my family on Monday. I *MIGHT* be able to grab a nap between school and the dinner, but I'm not sure. I keep falling asleep in class and then falling asleep at my computer at night... I hate this =(
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