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bittersweet and evocative
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 Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 11:30 pm
Wolf, I really want to try a pop tart! We don't have them here in NZ >< But I hope you went and got yourself something decent to eat!! It's a bit rich coming from the person who isn't eating, I know, but in theory, I think eating is a good idea...moving on...
How has everyone's days been? Hopefully you've had some sunshine. Wait, are you guys moving into winter now? I can never remember, because we've just gotten over the worst of our weather, now moving into some hotter days. Well, by hot I mean 20 degrees C if we're lucky. Which I think equals to around 70 degrees F. So not that hot, but better than the -5 degrees we get over winter! Ok this is a really long ramble about temperature and weather, so I'm going to go now. Sending love out to you all xox
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Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 4:46 pm
Nope not yet, not winter quiet yet.
we are moving in to fall! =)
Finally the weather is cooling down!
Winter doesnot start untill december. =)
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Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 7:20 am
you don't have pop tarts in NZ? whoa. i should but you a box and mail it to you! =) lol.
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Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 3:21 pm
That's what my mom told me to do... Haha. How is everyone? I'm kinda bored and don't know what to do... D:
...Does anybody know of a good "shop" that makes banners?
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A_Wolf_Drowning_In_Blood Crew
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Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 3:41 pm
Hey everyone ! Yup, it's me,..... boldie. The long lost soul. I went to a specialist today. First thing he asked me was "Where was my cane?" I said "My cane? No one gave me one". I don't know if he was joking or not. This is my THIRD specialist I'm seeing. Good God.....
Well, this guy wants to put a nerve block on my sacrum, but I don't have the money to fill the RX. They said it is was going to be almost $64.00 ! I'm like, c'mon......... I'm not working--Good Lord, I haven't worked since 1-19-09 !! My husband is on social security disability, so there's nothing there--please say a prayer that we don't foreclose on our home. Money is so frickin' tight here. So,....... I don't know what to do. I did call the doctor back and told the nurse on VOICE MAIL (don't you just love v.m.?), and now it's after 5:00 pm, so they'll not be calling until tomorrow. And I spent well over an hour waiting for the damn thing in the first place !
This nerve block is a patch called a Lidoderm patch. This Lidoderm Patch is a local anesthetic. It works by stopping nerves from transmitting painful impulses to the brain. So, I can't have that, unless they happen to get samples in, but he said currently, there are no samples. This patch is to be placed on my sacrum (tailbone) where the pain is. And it should "numb" all the pain. Well, I'm alittle frustrated that I can't afford this stupid thing, and the depression is back in full swing again. He explained the depression too. I have CHRONIC pain. For people out there who have CHRONIC pain, there is bound to be CHRONIC DEPRESSION. (As he was explaining all this to me, I felt like saying..... yeah I'm a chronic person!!!!!!) I know... dumb, but anyways.... We'll just have to wait and see what the doctor says tomorrow, that *IS IF he calls....... So, I'm going to get off here now. I just feel like I'm in some kind of bowl, and all I do all day is swim in it back and forth with no progress going forth. See? That's how "US" CHRONIC people talk! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Cya tomorrow ..............
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Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 10:13 pm
as8b & Wolf - would pop carts get through customs?! lol if they will, that would be awesome to try them! lol and in regards to your shop question, I don't even know what a banner is, so I can't help you - sorry!
Boldie, it's so good to hear from you again >< Do you have any medical insurance? Sorry, I'm really ignorant to the money aspect of treatment, because either my parents work it out, or it's covered by the accident claims association, as my CRPS arose from an accident. Or at least that is what lead them to discovering it, so I am covered to a certain extent by them. I think it's horrible that you may miss out on a treatment option because of money, so I'm going to pray A LOT for you ok? I'll get my prayer circle to pray in general for your money problems, Boldie, but I won't disclose details. I will just let them know the general gist of what's happening, and say I'd really appreciate their spiritual support.
Your comment on Voice Mails made me laugh because we have had many a experience with doctors and their voice mails. Mostly those experiences end up with us yelling at a doctor, or dissolving in floods of tears. And then calling back and apologizing for the message. but I really hope that your doctor calls back soon! I think there are two bad things about voice mails though: firstly, it's rather awkward when it transfers to the person's house, and then you have to explain why you're calling at midnight. Then you have the fact that some doctors don't have voice mail and instead it connects to the local emergency department, who then get annoyed when you call about something other than an emergency. That's what my local doctor's clinic does and it drives me mad!!
Boldie, I can tell you one thing that I think is similar to all people who suffer from chronic pain. We talk in metaphors. A lot. Almost obsessively. At least speaking from my own perspective, I refer to my life and chronic pain and my depression using metaphors. I can't put it into words if I try to relate it back to my life, but if I speak using similes or refer to the pain as a noun, a "beast", or the mood my depression drags me into as a "hole". (I just realised that I did it just then, by saying the depression drags me somewhere - that assumes it's a noun.) I think that that technique also helps other people understand what we're going through. It's easier for people to grasp the idea if they see it separately to out life. Maybe none of what I've just written makes any sense, but it does in my head. But not much that is inside my head turns into anything logical once it comes out.
Anyway, I really need to finish my two stories which I'm entering into a competition later this week. Love to you all, and know that I'm thinking of you.
xx Ailsa xx
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bittersweet and evocative
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Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 12:49 pm
HA HA GUESS WHAT !?!?!? My doctor's office called and told me to come on up there because they found samples!!!!! HOORAY! I will have one put on me as soon as I'm calm and my back isn't sweaty. Geez, it's still so frickin hot down here and humid as all get-out. So, HOPEFULLY, this will help. Ailsa, I don't know if I talk in metaphors. Do I ? I do know from yesterday that the specialist told me that if a person has CHRONIC pain, it is most assuredly they have CHRONIC depression accompanying with it. That does make sense. So, I'll be back, I have a fan on me right now, and I'll have Rick put it on me. Should be fun... lol Then, I'll come back in a few hours and let you know how it feels, etc... OK? alright. cyas !
EDIT: I apologize for being rude and venting in the post above Ailsa's. I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry guys....
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Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 5:15 pm
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A_Wolf_Drowning_In_Blood Crew
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Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 5:26 pm
Boldie, boldie, boldie. Venting and rambling is what hurt, pissed off, depressed people do! It makes us feel better to Rant and nag(okay, maybe not nagging). Oh, I do hope that Sample works for you! ^.^
Ailsa & boldie:: Metaphors...Hm... I know Ailsa and I are poets (Of somewhat an extent) and those kinda things flow with us, but I am sure you, boldie, compare things to your feelings frequently.
THE MONEY THING:: Here, (thank you OBAMA >:0) the Econamy kinda stinks... so I don't know if I told you guys this already, but I pay for all the animal crap and my "wants". My mom does the house payments (like bills, etc. The house itself is already paid for) So, I'm like Ailsa. My parents deal with that s**t. Pardon my language =)
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Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2009 2:02 am
Boldie, I'm really glad that your doctor called and has samples for you to try. I hope it works out for you. I really do. I can feel myself withdrawing into myself at the moment, so Im' going to go before I drag down the mood by posting my rants here. I hope you're all having a better day than me, and I'll talk to you soon. I just don't think that Im in the right space of mind to write a decent post right now. xx
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bittersweet and evocative
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Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2009 12:44 pm
bittersweet and evocative Boldie, I'm really glad that your doctor called and has samples for you to try. I hope it works out for you. I really do. I can feel myself withdrawing into myself at the moment, so Im' going to go before I drag down the mood by posting my rants here. I hope you're all having a better day than me, and I'll talk to you soon. I just don't think that Im in the right space of mind to write a decent post right now. xx
idk. Ailsa, please do NOT go to the "hole". I'm here now. Please... Even if you gotta PM me, go right ahead. I will check my messages a little later, cuz I don't even know if you're online right now. ONLY *IF* you wanna talk.... ok?
Love you guys !
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Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2009 8:40 pm
I'm trying to stay out of that hole, but I'm slipping involuntarily. It's not so much a matter of if I go into the hole, it's more a matter of when. I may PM you later, Boldie, but I need to go and check on my cupcakes now. I needed to do something with my hands in an effort to not do something, so I've made numerous cupcakes. Don't want them to burn *scrunches up nose* I hope your patch is behaving today, and giving you relief. Love to all xx
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bittersweet and evocative
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Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2009 7:12 pm
bittersweet and evocative I'm trying to stay out of that hole, but I'm slipping involuntarily. It's not so much a matter of if I go into the hole, it's more a matter of when. I may PM you later, Boldie, but I need to go and check on my cupcakes now. I needed to do something with my hands in an effort to not do something, so I've made numerous cupcakes. Don't want them to burn *scrunches up nose* I hope your patch is behaving today, and giving you relief. Love to all xx
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Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2009 11:42 pm
Firstly, everyone should go and check out this youtube video, because finally some awareness of CRPS/RSD is coming onto national television. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbHgzWCAB2w It's the latest episode of House that is about to be released.
Now, onto your message Boldie. (My sister helped me to make my avi, and it's not so black-orientated for once!) I think the hardest thing is that I am tired so much that I find it hard to get the strength up to do anything. But I'm working on it. On Monday I have an appointment with my psychologist, so I may talk to her then. After our last appointment, I'm really not looking forward to going, but I have to, so I'm just going to try and not think about it until then. I feel sick whenever I think about going, but thankfully I've got a busy weekend ahead of me. It's the school ball tomorrow night, and my friend Effie is coming as my "date" because she goes to a different school, and we wanted to spend our last ball together. And, low and behold, I'm wearing a dress. I don't wear dresses. Ever.
Anyway, Boldie, I know you're worried about me, so I'm going to keep trying, ok? I'm off to a concert now, so I'll give you a PM when I get back/tomorrow morning. I've been emailing Madralyn this week, but I'm hoping we will be able to arrange another video chat some time soon. It's different being able to speak to someone face to face, you know? But I'm sorry for being so down all the time at the moment - I know I don't make great company. xx Ailsa xx
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bittersweet and evocative
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